Monday, April 21, 2014

Business Buzz Words, Semantics and Personal Responsibility: Part 1

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

Happy Monday!  I hope you all had a great weekend!  I lifted my "no refined sugar" restrictions and allowed myself some Easter Candy.  Mistake!  Sometimes it's easier just to abstain than to try to be successful at moderation.  I didn't go crazy but when you go from zero to 30, it still seems pretty fast.

Ms. Chicago and I attended the Mainsail Art Festival on Saturday.  To counteract the sugar now coursing through my bloodstream, we managed to squeeze in almost 11 miles just walking around the art tents and downtown St. Pete.  We had lunch at 400 Beach Seafood and Tap House.  It was good.  I would definitely go back.

I also saw the movie "Dom Hemingway" starring Jude Law and Emilia Clarke from "Game of Thrones."  I have seen both actors in person on Broadway.  I saw Jude Law in Hamlet and Emilia Clarke in Breakfast at Tiffany's.  They are both great actors.  The movie was an interesting indie film.  I had no idea that the lovely Emilia Clarke could sing.  (And am frankly rather jealous - beautiful and a good singer?  Save some talent for the rest of us, please!)

I was also happy to see that in the movie 41 year old Jude Law plays the father of 26 year old Emilia Clarke (although her character is 22 and Jude Law's character is older).  Usually in films, 40something leads are usually paired with 20something leading ladies.  It was nice to take a break from the cliche! 

I purchased the song Emilia Clarke sings in the movie (The Waterboys' Fisherman's Blues) from iTunes and have already listened to it several times.  Click here for a clip of Emilia Clarke singing in "Dom Hemingway."    

On Sunday, Ms. Wisconsin and I walked along the Bay.  She was counteracting crab cake eggs Benedict.  I was still trying to work off Cadbury Mini Eggs, Starburst Jelly Beans and Marshmallow Peeps.  I had been fairly sedentary during the week, so I started the walk early to get extra miles before meeting Ms. Wisconsin.  It was a gorgeous (but overcast) day along the bay.  I saw nine dolphins, two manatees, too many flying fish to count as well as numerous water fowl.  




I ended up logging almost 16 miles for the entire day on my new Withings Pulse smart tracker.  I personally prefer the Fitbit activity tracker, but I wanted to give it the Withings a try.  I'm glad I was able to log so many steps this weekend, but my feet are tired!  I wish I were back in Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia where I could get an extremely painful (but extremely effective) deep reflexology foot massage for pennies.  Sigh!

Inspirations for blog posts have been flying at me left and right lately.  I seriously feel like a psychic who challenges the spirit world to start talking to her, then has a million ghosts screeching their stories.  Be careful what you wish for!  My blog muses must be working overtime!

Today's inspiration is drawn from Jon Stewart and Comedy Central's "The Daily Show."  Jon Stewart was teasing the antics of TV show personalities at a certain news network (rhymes with Box).  In a clip shown, the cable TV anchors were talking about their wild collegiate youth on Spring Break.  

One anchor said "There may have been some nights where I was over-served (at the bars)."  

For some reason, that sentence struck me.  I thought about the wording … "I was over-served."  Not "I drank too much" but that someone else served him too much. 

Can I go to The Cheesecake Factory, order one of their HUGE entrees and then justify eating it all by saying I was "over-served"?  Um no, no one has a gun to my head!  I don't have to eat everything that is put in front of me.  I think I may steal this line.  I didn't over-eat.  I was over-served.  I am not fat.  My pants are under-Spandexed.  

Personal responsibility completely detached by utilizing selective word choice.  Wow.  

I had to admire the villainous panache of this turn of phrase from the TV show personality.  If I admit I drank too much, well then I am sloppy and out of control.  But if I was over-served … well I am the helpless victim to a liquor industry recklessly out of control.  The entire event is reframed.  Instead of myself doing something stupid, I have been victimized!  

This is some high class word-smithing.  Do they teach a class on this stuff? Because I need to learn this!    

It is amazing how changing a few words can completely alleviate the inference of one's personal responsibility for his/her words or actions.  

A few years ago, an actor made a homophobic slur remark about a fellow actor.  His publicist announced the actor who made the remark would be going to rehab.  Is there a rehab center for hostile language use and overall stupidity?  Did he have Tourette's?  Did a disease cause him to insult his co-worker with a homophobic slur?  I swear "going to rehab" is the quasi-apology response for every issue.  

How about "I'm a dumbass.  I said something stupid and hateful.  I realize that because I am in the public eye, that I could be perceived as a role model.  I do not want people to emulate my hate speech.  I am going to volunteer for the next year with various charities.  I hope after the end of the year, my actions will speak louder than my unfortunate words."  OK that might be an overboard solution, but what I am trying to say is "Just own your behavior!" 

There is a guy on Twitter who claims to be almost 100 years old and posts inspirational messages (@BismeeQuotes).  Today he posted "What we speak becomes the house we live in."  Let that one absorb in.  I have visions of painting walls with my words.  Would I rather be surrounded by positivity or negativity? 

Is it just me or are we in an age where there seems to be no true personal responsibility or accountability?

Most of us are not medical doctors or practicing lawyers where we have to worry about a malpractice suit if we admit accidentally (or purposely) doing wrong.  So why the reticence to acknowledge one's mistakes?  Isn't this how we grow and learn?  We don't come into this world perfect.  We all are going to stumble and fall at various points in our life.

When I was growing up, I was taught that you must own up to your behavior.  The truth will set you free and all that.  But more and more, I feel like people point to some evil force that propels them to action versus accounting for their deeds.  "The reason my car ran you over is because President Obama is a secret Kenyan."  

I didn't run you over.  My car did it.  

There are a couple people in my life who definitely utilize this strategy in apologies.  Instead of "I am sorry I hurt your feelings," they use "I am sorry you feel hurt."  A subtle shift in language, but a large shift in ownership.  

"I'm sorry your blood is leaking from your skin" versus "I am sorry I stabbed you ninety-two times."  

It makes me want to scream "Own your actions!  Own your words!  You are not a victim when you are the assertive actor!  Stop hiding behind semantics!  You are not a robot!  No one compels you but yourself!"

But frankly if I opened the door to start screaming stuff like that, I don't think I would ever stop screaming until I was dragged off to the nuthouse.

So instead I write in my blog … and I try to stay away from uniformed men with nets and straight jackets.   

Tune in tomorrow at LilyOnTheLam.com for Part 2 of "Business Buzz Words, Semantics & Personal Responsibility" when I share "The Country Mouse's Corporate Tale."  Until then, please feel free to rub my feet!

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