Goodbye To Many Angels

Dear LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

I am beyond heartbroken for the deaths of innocent children and adults in Newtown, Connecticut.  I am speechless and cannot fathom the loss of so many precious lives, most of whom were on this Earth for such a short time.  I want answers on why this had to happen, but I know that no answer can justify such a senseless act.  And I feel helpless in my sorrow.  

I urge those who are feeling the same way I am to volunteer with local children's organizations and/or donate to DonorsChoose.org.  There's nothing we can do to bring these beloved children back, but we can help other children in our community and around the nation.  Please check out the projects that need funding on DonorsChoose.org.

And in a personal note ... just when I thought my heart couldn't ache more, my beloved cat Mr. Lo passed away this morning at 3:40 a.m.  Thank you sweet friend for 12 1/2 years of unconditional love.  I treasure every second of it and will miss you so very much.  Mere words cannot express how much you mean to me and how very grateful I am to have had you in my life.  

I adopted Mr. Lo when he was two months old from the Humane Society in Minnesota.  My other cats were adopted from the Humane Society of Tampa Bay.  Please support animal groups like the SPCA and the Humane Society in your area.  These animals bring so much love.  I am forever grateful for these organizations and the wonderful cats they have brought into my life.    

Rest in Peace to all the angels taken too soon.

Mr. Lo - the Big Brother of the Household, cuddling with Finnerty, November 2012

Mr. Lo and Finnerty

Mr. Lo - surrogate big brother and protector - with DivaBea

Happy 12-12-12!

Hello LilyOnTheLam.com Readers and a Happy 12-12-12, December 12, 2012 to you all!

On 10-10-10, I was walking on top of the Great Wall of China.  On 11-11-11, I was in a little cobblestone village area on a really amazing date with lots of passionate smooching.  But 12-12-12, the agenda includes work and cleaning my messy house.  I guess I should have planned better.  No monumental event has been scheduled for today - unless the world ends per Mayan prophecy.

I have been taking a pottery class.  Last week, I made this awesome cake plate and last night, I split it in half trying to get it unstuck from the board it was resting on.  I was horrified.  It was such a gorgeous piece!  You would have thought someone punched my best friend in the mouth.  I was that floored at the tragic events!

I am the most junior in my pottery class.  One of the students, made a pineapple and a turtle in Open Studio.    

I don't know why but the pineapple and the turtle together make me think of some piece of modern art that I will just stare at and stare at and never divine the grand meaning of it all.  Which has been apropos of my musings on many things lately.  Definitely a lot of "What's it all about, Alfie?" moments.  

Even though I don't understand the "grand meaning" of the pineapple and the turtle, they do make me smile.  If I can't have a grand event for 12-12-12, perhaps I can have a grand feeling instead - a call to arms to find what makes you happy, what makes you laugh, what makes you smile and embrace it, cherish it and nourish it!

I was traveling in Australia with my baby sister Squidge and she was telling me that her and her friends amuse themselves  with misspelled versions of food names.  I know, I know - "what the what?"  Check it out here.  One of the misspelled words was "Ponople Shramp" (a.k.a. Pineapple Shrimp.)  For some reason this set me off on a Tourette's like outburst where I barked "PONOPLE SHRAMP!" every 2 minutes.  I still say it now and then and my sister gives me this kind look of "Oh you poor stupid child, you don't know when to give up the joke."  SHRAMP!

So whether what makes you smile is a pineapple, a turtle, a misspelled SHRAMP or anything else - take some time on 12-12-12 (or whenever your calendar allows) and think about what makes you happy.  Sometimes the smallest things can bring us the greatest joy.  Honor it today and every day!  Happy 12-12-12, everyone!

Will A Village Inn Pie Get You A Hot Young Boy Toy?

Hello LilyOnTheLam.com Readers:

I am writing to you from a Trader Joe's processed food coma.     I have managed to stay away from the Trader Joe's in Sarasota - about an hour from my home, because the two times I have visited it was an extreme clusterf**k of senior citizens who don't understand the Trader Joe's concept and keep wondering where the Ritz Crackers are and also why I keep howling in pain when they run over my toes with their carts.  This is FLORIDA people, I wear flip-flops year round!  Watch the toes!

But the lure of Trader Joe's has been calling to me - I love the holiday season when TJ's (or as I think I will rebrand them - El Joe - yes I know it should be like El Jose or something but I am being hipster ironic so just GO WITH IT)... 

Anyway, anyone who is anyone knows that the holiday season (if you have a holiday in December - otherwise just replace "holiday" with December and chill) ... 

Anyway ... anyone who is anyone knows that El Joe has amazing holiday products ... if you're looking for inexpensive fun gifts - get your arse over to El Joe, pronto.  Three pack of scented bath salts?  Four pack of flavored mustards?  Cute little tins of fancy looking tea?  You could make up a gigantic gift basket that any friend, family member or co-worker would adore and it'd cost a lot less than those gift basket company offerings.  I like giving gifts and saving money - so win-win, people!

I headed down to El Joe (a.k.a. Trader Joe's) on a weeknight and it was a little less clusterf**kery than it has been before - meaning there were actual spots in the parking lot open.  Hallelujah!  And I am happy to say that no one ran over my toes with their shopping cart or walker, but I did narrowly avoid getting whacked in the shin by a woman shifting her cane to get into some sort of electric scooter contraption.  I shall deem this electric scooter thing a "Grand Mal Seizure Squirrel" (trademark pending - coming soon to a store near you.)  

I love El Joe so much that I channel my inner Dalai Lama and suppress my "I hate people" rage disorder, just to be able to get to their refrigerator chicken pot pie.  

Which by the way Trader Joe's, why do the NYC stores get refrigerator beef pot pie as well as chicken pot pie but us Floridians just get chicken?  Listen I'm not in my golden years [yet]- I can have red meat!  Steer some of those NYC trucks south, El Joe - and pronto!  

There was a woman who definitely had eyes in the back of her head, because every time I tried to get around her to reach in to the refrigerator case she shifted and blocked me.  Those Sarasota seniors are crafty and surprisingly agile too.  Since bludgeoning a woman to death in a Trader Joe's store would most likely cause me to be banned from life from all El Joe's worldwide, I went over to the cheese section until Mrs. Shifty McBlocker moved on and left the refrigerator case unguarded.  You can't beat me, Grandma!  

Anyway, this blog post is not supposed to be about Trader Joe's - I just happened to give a wee bit more backstory on why I am laying on my bed in a food coma - my dinner was a taste test of several different El Joe items that I will be blogging about in the future.  I do it all for you, dear readers!  All for you!

However, my Trader Joe's winners and losers blog posts will have to wait, for today's blog post is about a subject that is very important to older women and hot young men everywhere.  Are you listening?  (Or actually `are you reading?', but I think you get the point I am trying to make!)

The subject (and also title) of today's blog post is "Will A Village Inn Pie Get You A Hot Young Boy Toy?"  

Let me explain ... this is not a pie for prostitution undercover investigative journalism piece ... the most "undercover" I get is when I don a kicky new chapeau (see my post: Sassy Food Blogger in a Fedora).

Last December, I wrote several blog posts to be published over the course of several weeks - I was going to be in India for Christmas 2011 and New Year's Day 2012 and I didn't want to spend it trying to ask where the free WiFi was in New Delhi or Old Delhi or any Delhi.  

One of these pre-written blog posts was my January 1, 2012 post entitled "An Awkward A Capella For The New Year or When I First Discovered I Could Never Be A Cougar."  

The blog post starts out with my pie recommendation - Village Inn's seasonal Candy Cane Pie - which I sometimes call "Holiday Pie" because I am a loser who is going senile and cannot remember the correct pie name.  I was actually eating the Candy Cane Pie while writing the blog post - consider it my muse.  I like pie.  OK?  

(Side Note:  Last week, columnist and gay advocate Dan Savage, Village Inn USA - the official Twitter Feed of Village Inn restaurants and Tampa Tribune Food Writer Jeff Houck - all retweeted LilyOnTheLam (@SouthTampaLily) tweets.  That is what I call the Holy Trifecta, Ladies and Gentlemen.  I have read all of Dan Savage's books and try really hard not to squirm during some of the parts of his sex-themed podcasts - so I believe I earned that retweet in spades!)

(Side side note:  By the way if you'd like to see a picture of me looking somewhat goth and dead ... and slightly androgynous [I'm a GIRL!] - check out the wallpaper on my Twitter profile.  Nothing says "Food, Travel, Adventure and Dating Angst Blogger" like "dead" and "somewhat goth" - and uh, "slightly androgynous in pictures but not in real life.")  

Back to my January 1, 2012 post - after the pie shout out, the remainder of the blog post was the long ago story of "Lily On The Lam at the tender age of 28" - dating a 20 year old and quickly learning why I am not one who wants to be the older person (a.k.a. "the adult") in the relationship.  

(By the way, I don't want to be the young chickie in a relationship either - I'm most comfortable when the guy is my age or up to two years older - and can I just tell you how having such a narrowly defined window can suck?  Argh!)  

I learned at the tender age of 28 that I could never be a cougar ... young, pretty and stupid is not the combination that sets my heart a-pitter-pat nor my loins a-pitter-pat either.  

So back to today in good old December 2012-- I was looking back at my older blog posts for recommendations I give on my Twitter.com account (@SouthTampaLily) from "The LilyOnTheLam.Com Vault" and I re-read "my pie plus my disavowment (is that a word?) of all cougardom" (and is that a word?) blog post and my first thought was: "Hey, is it Candy Cane Pie season again?  I gotsta get me some pie!"  

One quick look at the Village Inn website confirmed that it was indeed Candy Cane Pie season once more.  Ahhh it's like Christmas came early for pie lovers!  I went out the next day to get some Candy Cane Pie - mmm, minty, chocolatey, creamy, decadent - all as I had remembered it from a year before.  Delicious times a thousand.  Mmmm... holiday time pie.  

Side Note:  The Candy Cane Pie is my 2nd favorite Village Inn seasonal pie - the first is European Truffle which usually comes out in February if I recall correctly ... Just in case you're playing "LilyOnTheLam.com" trivia at your local tavern or VFW hall.  It's not cheating, it's studying.  And there is a difference!

I am now approximately 852 years old ... give or take a decade.  I am a somewhat well-preserved vampire except I am squeamish at the sight of blood and I can walk around in the daytime ... 

And well basically all you need to know is that I am extremely old - elderly, geriatric, cryptkeeper ... and such.  

The day after I reunited with my beloved seasonal Candy Cane Pie, a 24 year old male asked me out.  What the what?  Tall, hunky and dumb as a box of under-achieving rocks.  Oh and did I mention unemployed and living with his parents?  He gave me this song and dance about how he is really looking for a relationship - someone - just one girl - he can give his heart to ... except he didn't say it that eloquently - I am not entirely sure he graduated high school.  But he was pretty.  

I am a very cynical 852 year old.  I squinted at him incredulously with an  "Are you looking for a girlfriend or a sugar momma?  Shouldn't you be channeling all this energy into finding a job?  Get yourself on the right track first before trying to pull someone else into your world?" gaze.  But since he has the IQ of a box of rocks that got left behind many many grades and now console themselves with one too many bong hits, Mr. Genius did not understand the message in my squint.  Evidently I'd have to "use my words."

Living in Florida, there are many older men and women who look for the young, dumb and somewhat innocent for their mates -- and usually in such a predatory fashion that I wonder if the older crowd is bathing in the blood of the younger crowd hoping that it's the true fountain of youth.  (Watch who you go home with, young ones!)  

But for me, dating someone much younger than I am does NOT make me feel young and vital - it just makes me feel old and out of date.  Like when I say "where were you during the Civil War - no no, not the Spanish one - the American one ... boy that was a hum-dinger!"  The young ones just don't get my references!  Of course I've never tried bathing in their blood ... maybe something for the 2013 "to do" list ...  

At age 28, I knew I could never be a cougar and it seems nothing has changed for me at the ripe old age of 852 years old (and a half...)  

I gracefully turned down the cordial, eloquent, almost Elizabethan-style invitation for a date ("Uh, you wanna go out sometime cuz you're really pretty.")  

Once a non-Cougar, always a non-Cougar is definitely one of my life philosophies ... but I had to wonder about the correlation.  A year ago, I had a piece of Candy Cane Pie and wrote about dating a younger man in my youth.  Then a little shy of a year to the day, I have another piece of Candy Cane Pie and another hunky, tall, young man (who surprisingly looks like the twin of the guy I dated way back when I was 28) presents himself at my feet.  Coincidence?

It is a wonderful pie, but will it get you laid?

I had this cold, creeping sensation ... like I was in a re-run of "Friday the 13th: The Series" starring John D. LeMay, a woman who went only by the name Robey (real name: Louise Robey, who in real life is also the Countess of Burford) and Chris Wiggins.  

Did I somehow manage to get a cursed Candy Cane Pie last year?  Did someone make a deal with the devil - sold their soul in exchange for a magical pie that brings hunky, young hotties who want monogamous relationships to their doorstep?  And then in a low-budget TV twist, I ended up with the pie instead?  Is this "The Case of the Cursed Pie?"  Is it like the nursery rhyme but instead of four and twenty blackbirds, I am getting 24 year old boys?  Am I the nouveau nursery rhyme?  (And if so, where is my cut of the money?)  

Is there someone out there hunting me down because I ended up with their cursed Candy Cane Pie?  Ohhh this has TV movie of the week written all over it, baby!  As if I need one more thing to be famous over ... (I am an international celebrity in my own mind!)

So back once more to the title and subject of this blog post - Will A Village Inn Pie Get You A Hot Young Boy Toy?

The skeptic in me says that no, it won't.  In fact too much indulgence in pie will probably strain your love life - whether with young or old hotties.  Unless they're chubby chasers - then by all means, my apologies and another slice of pie for you!  

But then again, you never know when you'll get a cursed pie and suddenly be catapulted into a Canadian-made horror TV show from 1987.    

It may be worth having a slice of Candy Cane Pie at Village Inn just to check it out, regardless.  Heck, this could be Village Inn's new ad campaign ... 

(I want my cut of the money, Village Inn - not just compensation in PIE ... OK I want that too, but in addition to not in lieu of hard dollars!)

The only thing I know for sure is that the Candy Cane Pie at Village Inn is only available for a limited time and it's darn tasty.  Whether you'll get a hot, young, dumb, hunky boy toy is up to you and the stars and the curses and probably the size of your pocketbook ...  Best wishes either way!

P.S.  For those readers who found this blog post by typing in hot, young and some other choice words - take a cold shower!

P.P.S.  Have a real life story of a cursed dessert increasing your love life?  Tell us all about it in the Comments section!  

Google Affiliate Ads:
Seriously $6.94 for a pie plate at Sur La Table?  Good deal!


                    

The Brandy Chronicles: The Best Desserts in New York City

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

If you are a regular reader, you will know that this is the 2nd installment of "The Brandy Chronicles" - New York City travel tips for friend and NYC novice Brandy.  If you're not a regular reader, I have to ask - why not?  Ahem, let me rephrase that -- one lone tear running down my cheek, clutching my chest, agony filling my face -- "WHHHHHHHHY NOT?"  (You can read Part One - Introduction to the Brandy Chronicles here.)  

Side note:  Can you believe Brandy has never been to NYC before?  Obviously I need to screen my friends more thoroughly ... usually the interview stops after "Are you willing to keep a life-size cut out poster of me in your home, displayed in a place of prominence with specially ordered lighting fixtures to make sure my creamy olive skin and killer seductive dark brown eyes sizzle and pop?"  But evidently I need to add "Are you a NYC travel virgin?" to the 90,278 question interview as well.  That would then be 90,279 questions.  I'm half-Asian, so you see I am half a math wizard.

But enough about me (for now), let's get back to Brandy!

Miss Brandy is planning her first ever trip to New York City and asked me for some travel tips.  Now I'm no hillbilly hick, I know when someone asks me for "travel tips" - it really means "Lily, can you write a series of blog posts named after me?"  

Now I don't just give "travel tips" to anyone, however Miss Brandy participated in the St. Jude Give Thanks Walk with me - so I think that somehow created an oral contract where I agreed to create "The Brandy Chronicles" for her.  I'm not really sure - I had to leave my house for the walk at 7:30 a.m. but really didn't wake up mentally until about 2 p.m.  Typical Saturday.

After my scintillating Introduction to the Brandy Chronicles, I had to decide what were the most important things Brandy needed to know about traveling to NYC.  

Is it which airport is closer if you are staying in Manhattan (answer: Laguardia Airport).  Nah, that's not the most important thing.  

Is it how much is typical cab fare from LaGuardia to Manhattan (around $35 plus tip)?  No, that's not the most important thing either.  

Clearly the most important thing to know about traveling to NYC is: "WHERE CAN I GET THE BEST DESSERT?"  

And by "best dessert" I obviously mean whatever dessert makes Lily's stomach the happiest.  In honor of Brandy, on my most recent trip to NYC (Thanksgiving weekend 2012 - I'll be back Spring 2013 when hopefully there is no snow), I made sure I savored many desserts.  What can I say, people?  I'm obviously all about self-sacrifice for a friend.  I usually make sure to have many desserts whenever I am in New York, because you see I am psychic and I knew that in 2012, Miss Brandy would ask me for NYC tips.  So here are some pictures from my last couple NYC trips ...  

Drumroll please ...

The best New York City dessert I have had in a very long time is ...

1)  The Veselka Bowery S'more from Veselka Bowery:

I am not a fan of the big chocolate smear as decorative garnishing technique, but other than that - this dessert is amazing.  A moist, lush, chocolatey brownie topped with a gigantic pillow of bruleed marshmallow and on top of that gelato with a bit of a salt crust and on top of that a graham cracker which is dipped in milk chocolate on one side.  This dessert will blow your mind it is sooo good.  

It is probably the best spin on the s'more that I have had (other than my own Golden Grahams S'mores Bars with chocolate marshmallows - that I will blog about another time).  My favorite dish at Veselka Bowery is their short rib pierogis, but their s'mores dessert is currently my favorite dessert in all of New York.  You have got to try this s'more!

September 2013 Update: I am very sad to learn that Veselka Bowery is closed.  I still love the original Veselka at 2nd Avenue - if you have a late night pierogi craving, be sure to check it out!

2)  Sweet Potato Doughnuts at Red Rooster

I had recently read Top Chef Masters winner Chef Marcus Samuelsson's book "Yes, Chef: A Memoir," so I knew I needed to try his restaurant Red Rooster when I was in NYC.  Luckily, friend KT was in town house-sitting about ten blocks from Red Rooster, so she joined me for dessert.  

I had the sweet potato doughnuts - think jelly donuts but instead of jelly a lightly spiced sweet potato cream filling the inside.  KT had the red velvet cupcake with ice cream.

Side Note:  The real reason I write LilyOnTheLam.com is because then when I go out with friends and they order something really yummy, I stick my spoon in their food and say "RESEARCH!  I need to personally taste your food so I can write about it on my blog!"  It is an excellent excuse for why I need to eat some of their food.  Hopefully none of my friends are reading this ...

Now KT and I are from the South (OK does living in Florida mean you can say you are "from the South"?), so we know our Red Velvet Cakes ...  While the Red Rooster Red Velvet Cupcake was nice - it was not a proper Southern Red Velvet Cake.  It was too heavy and dense.  It tasted like a bran muffin trying to pretend it is Red Velvet.  (I see right through you, sad wannabe bran muffin.)  The quinelle of vanilla ice cream and the cupcake frosting were both delicious however.  

If you're not "from the South," I think you would find this dessert quite nice.  But if you are "from the South," have the collard greens instead.  Red Rooster's collard greens are the best I have ever had ANYWHERE.  And in Florida, I have had the pleasure of trying a lot of collard greens.

The sweet potato doughnuts were divine and more than made up for the Red Velvet Cupcake.  I was expecting some heavy, sweet potato and spice cake style donut - but these were light poofs of deep fried loveliness filled with sweet potato cream.  And served in the cutest wire basket.  Think the airy lightness of Krispy Kreme (sans the glaze) filled with cream.

Plus the doughnuts were served with delicious fresh whipped cream on the side.  I took great pleasure in dunking the warm doughnuts into the cold, thick, sweet whipped cream.  Sinfully delicious and absolutely amazing.  

I will be blogging about my lunch at Red Rooster in a future blog post, but spoiler alert - it was fabulous and everyone should go to Red Rooster!  Not only is the food good, but the customer service is truly top notch.

3)  Ice Cream Cookie Sandwich at Schmackary's Cookies

I devoted an entire blog post to the most delicious ice cream cookie sandwich I had at Schmackary's, so read about it here.

4)  The Banana Pudding at Magnolia Bakery

I was walking back to my hotel after seeing the jaw-droppingly good Patti LuPone and Debra Winger in David Mamet's The Anarchist on Broadway.  (Side note: the show was fabulous - Patti LuPone was divine.  I have been holding a grudge against Ms. LuPone since the time I went to see her in Sweeney Todd on Broadway and found out she was out that week and I had to see her understudy instead.  The understudy was good, but when you are expecting Ms. LuPone your expectations are HIGH!)

I will spare you my favorite scene in the TV show "Will and Grace" where Jack (the delightful and effervescent Sean Hayes) tells off guest star Patti LuPone. 

OK no I won't spare you it, because it is soooo good - oh how I miss "Will and Grace" ... here it is, thanks to a MySpace posting.

Although it was quite warm for New York City in late November, my Floridian blood was freezing.  I saw a long line of people through the glass windows of Magnolia Bakery.  The little voice inside my freezing head said "I bet they have hot apple cider!"  I went inside and sure enough they did ... I'd just have to wait for the 800 million people in front of me to get their orders before I could place mine.  

As I stood in line, I kept watching people get handed squat little tubs.  They looked like short pints of ice cream or like the tub you get from Wendy's if you order chili.  What the heck could be in those tubs?  They looked too small to be cupcake tubs.  Could it be buttercream frosting?  Yes, I was pretty sure it was buttercream frosting.  But seriously, would like 30 people be getting buttercream frosting at 11:30 p.m. on a Saturday night?  It didn't seem likely.  What on earth could be in those darn tubs?

I had already had my heart set on a slice of pistachio cake and the largest cup of hot apple cider that Magnolia Bakery is legally allowed to serve me (thanks a lot, Mayor Bloomberg), but I couldn't get the mystery of those squat little tubs out of my head.  

Finally when I got to the front of the line, I was told that they were out of apple cider.  GRRRRR!  Way to ruin my plan, Magnolia Bakery!

So I asked exasperated - "what's in those tubs, anyway?"  Banana pudding, the clerk said cheerily, seemingly oblivious that she had just destroyed my world by telling me they were out of apple cider.  Banana Pudding?  Puh-lease, I am from "the South," there is no way that Magnolia Bakery's banana pudding could be better than what I can get at home.  I ordered a slice of pistachio cake to go - and then said "Oh and throw in one of those tubs of banana pudding too."

The pistachio cake was dry and tasteless but with a nice Southern-style whipped frosting.  I took a few bites and then chucked it - it was not worth the calories.  

But the Banana Pudding - BAM!  Hello sweet thing, where have you been all my life?  My friend LM's version of a Paula Deen recipe of Banana Pudding is still the epitome of best banana pudding for me, but Magnolia Bakery's banana pudding has to rank in the Top Five of my heart - and definitely the best banana pudding you can get above the Mason-Dixon line.  

So if you happen to be at Magnolia Bakery in New York City, look past the cakes and the cupcakes and give those squat little white tubs a try - you'll be happy you did.

5) The Chocolate Bar at Marie Belle Chocolates

Now when I say "chocolate bar" - I don't mean brick of chocolate.  I mean the dessert cafe in the back of the wickedly good Marie Belle Chocolates in SoHo.  A place you just have to try.  

I am 99.2% sure actor Gabriel Byrne was sitting behind me when I was at Marie Belle in July 2012.  If it was not him, then it was an alien clone because the gentleman looked exactly like him.  While I was casting sly glances behind me, I had a frozen iced chocolate drink and their dessert special - these amazing profiteroles - ice cream stuffed cream puffs.  Delish!

6)  If you're in the Cupcake Mood ...  Crumbs Bake Shop

One of my friends told me that she read an article claiming that pie is the "new cupcake" when it comes to dessert trends.  One only has to search my blog for the word "pie" to know that I have been riding the pie trend for YEARS!  I love pie, but because NYC still seems to be all about cupcakes I am including a cupcake recommendation here.  So if you're craving a cupcake in New York City, try Crumbs Bake Shop.  There are many locations around the city.  I had the Grasshopper cupcake - it was a bit dry but I also had put it in the refrigerator overnight, so I suspect that may have been the culprit.

7)  My favorite cheesecake in New York City

My favorite chicken pot pie, my favorite macaroni and cheese and my favorite cheesecake in New York City can all be found in one place ... Brooklyn Diner.   Which despite the name is not located in Brooklyn, it has two locations in Manhattan and bills itself as "The Finer Diner."  I love diners, but diners that serve upscale versions of diner food?  Yes, please! Did I die and go to heaven?  I love Brooklyn Diner!  It is an absolute must visit on my NYC trips.  

Their "Strawberry Blonde" cheesecake with side of whipped cream and pitcher of Valrhona chocolate sauce is a symphony of cheesecake lusciousness.  You have to have this cheesecake.  It is a moral imperative.

8)  My favorite afternoon tea and pastries in New York City

I have written an entire very lengthy blog post on my love of Podunk Tea Room.  See all the delicious tea pastries in my post here.

9)  My favorite black and white cookie in New York City

I haven't had a black and white cookie in a long time.  The ones in Florida simply do not compare to New York City ones.  Sorry I don't have a photo, but my absolute favorite black and white cookie in NYC comes from Ben Ash Deli at 55th Street and 7th Avenue.  They have a bakery counter on the side of the deli, so you can quickly pop in to pick one up.  Soft, pillowy cookie with rich vanilla and chocolate glaze.  Yumtastic!

Other dessert mentions:

Junior's Cheesecake - I have heard that Junior's has the best cheesecake in New York City.  I visited the original Brooklyn location and was not impressed at all. Read about it here.

What are your favorite desserts in New York City?  Please leave your feedback and tips for Miss Brandy in the comments section below!

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Tea for Me - Emperor's Lounge, Taj Mahal Hotel - New Delhi, India

In my iPad and my iPhoto collection on my MacBook Air, I have a ton of notes and photos for thousands of blog posts.  Unfortunately, I lead a very busy life and haven't made as much time for blogging as I would like to - so this blog post is going back to events from almost a year ago. 

Last Christmas and New Year's, I was in India with my sister Squidge.  Before I headed back to the States, I had tea at the Emperor's Lounge at the Taj Mahal Hotel in New Delhi.

I love doing tea - it is one of my favorite activities - it feels civilized and relaxing and healing, like a type of meditation. 

Although in India, many of the places I visited were decorated for Christmas.  I sat down at a lovely, regal-looking chair in the Emperor's Lounge and watched the steward light floating candles in a mini moat in the lobby as I awaited my "Victoria's Tea - tea plus delicious sweet and savory bites."

Fuzzy picture but it is candles and petals in a mini moat

By the way, the staff is crazy tickled that I am typing in the Emperors Lounge.  Their looks seem to say "Silly Americans and their overblown work ethic - not stopping to truly appreciate tea ... instead type, type, type, eat, eat, eat!"  And dont get me started at the crazy looks I am getting by photographing each of the tiny morsels.  LilyOnTheLam.com readers - I do it for you!

A girl, a teacup and an iPad with a keyboard from Brookstone

The first plate of delicious tea treats contained three mini muffins and what I think are two cheese straws - puff pastry twists.

I ordered the Nilgiri Winter tea.  The tea menu described it as fruity and astringent - but honestly it just tasted like Lipton.

Next came a three tiered tray of delights.  In America, I am used to scones on the bottom tier, sandwiches on the second tier and desserts on the top tier.  In India or at least at The Emperor's Lounge, the layers did not follow this order.

On the first tier, there were several sandwiches - a cucumber and cheese sandwich with dried out bread, a chicken roll up, a salmon open-faced sandwich, what i suspect to be a chicken salad sandwich and an avocado and tomato open-faced sandwich with a savory spice on top.  The avocado sandwich was very tasty.

On the second tier, there was a macaron - chocolate with chocolate filling.  It was pretty much your standard macaron but good.  There also what appears to be a chocolate mousse tartlet - thick shortbread cookie crust with a cross between chocolate mousse and frosting - with a hazelnut topper.  It was pretty good but too much cookie base.  I would have liked a thinner bottom crust with 2 kinds of layered filling instead.

There was also a strawberry fruit tartlet- same high bottom tasteless shortbread crust as the previous - whipped cream, strawberries and what i believe is a rim of pistachio crumbles.  I would have preferred a shot glass of strawberries dolloped with whipped cream and dusted with pistachio crumbles than this tart as the crust adds nothing flavorwise and everything calorie-wise.  

I watched something recently (most likely Real Housewives of Atlanta) where they served small glasses (martini glasses perhaps) of strawberries dolloped with whipped cream.  Thinking of doing this with small plastic cups at my next party -- who doesn't like berries and cream?

Last but maybe not least on the 2nd tier-- a four layer cream and cake mini slice ... kind of like a spongy baked cream with a subtle tasting thin slice of chocolate cake in between each laye, with mini chocolate chips between the 2nd and 3rd layer.  Not bad at all.

As if the three tier server was not enough, I also received a regular scone and chocolate chip scone with clotted cream, apple sauce and some sort of preserves.  They were a bit heavy, but the applesauce was lovely.

For the top tier, there was another puff pastry straw except this one was dry, not buttery tasting, no taste of cheese... a brush of butter and some aged Parmesan could turn this straw around!

There was also an olive straw - it's a whole green olive with pimento stuffed inbetween puff pastry - I'm used to seeing black olive flecks kneaded throughout - this one looks like a Muppets character!  It was quite nice - a good combo of rich and buttery with tangy and briny.  I guess I shouldnt have mocked the whole green olive approach!

There was also a shortbread cookie round.  It was dry and tasteless - but that's how I find all shortbread - am I the only one who doesnt appreciate shortbread?

There was a piece of biscotti.  Instead of being rock hard like most biscotti, it was soft.   I suspect humidity is to blame.  However I cannot blame humidity for the lack of anise taste.  It is palatable because it tastes like an almond cookie, but I never would guess it is biscotti by taste alone.

You may look like biscotti, but you don't taste like it!

There was also a chocolate chip studded chocolate cookie- very dry and surprisingly unchocolatey.  However I'm American and we waaaay overdo things in the sugar department, so as an accompaniment to a hot milky tea, it works quite well because it wasn't too sweet.

Last but not least, there was some sort of studded cookie stick.  It was a buttery puff pastry with some sort of unknown topping.  Nuts?  Cheese?  Who knew?  Despite the mustery, it was pretty darn tasty.

Overall, this was a crazy amount of food and tea in a luxe setting for a pretty decent price (by American standards).  Since I was staying at the hotel and I think I belonged to some favored travel club or just some "I'm cool so give me freebies" club, I received 20% off of all food at the hotel's restaurants.  My bill was 650 rupees minus 130 rupees - plus 81 rupees VAT - so 601 rupees total.  Cool beans - best deal of the day!  

While not every treat with this tea was spectacular, there were enough delights that for the price and the atmosphere I very much enjoyed afternoon tea at the Emperor's Lounge at the Taj Mahal Hotel in New Delhi, India.  If you're in New Delhi, check it out!

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40,179 Reasons To Be Thankful

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

Last November, I hit 5,000 page views for LilyOnTheLam.com (Happy 5000! Dim Sum, Stubble Burn and a Happy, Happy Lily!)  One year later, I am now past 40,125 page views.  Now I know that many websites out there may get 40,000+ page views a day (or an hour - or a minute, if you're Oprah.)  But I'm not Oprah, so to go from 5,000 page views to over 40,000 page views in one year (I think that's like a 700% increase, right?  I'm bad at math!) is pretty amazing in my book.  Now on Blogger.com there is a setting so your own personal page views do not get included in the page counter-- so if my own page views were included, I'd probably be celebrating 100,000 page views by now ... but it would be less significant!  (And I'm all about significance).

Today, I was opening a pack of pre-cut celery sticks.  Evidently I didn't know my own superhuman strength as the bag exploded as I tried to rip it open.  This caused a rain of celery sticks to come thundering down upon my youngest cat, Oshi.  Poor Oshi went running from the kitchen, trying to avoid the hail of big green sticks.  Oshi spent the rest of the day peering into the kitchen cautiously.  The experience has now made him realize that his own personal reality includes the dangers of unexpected storms of celery raining down with no forewarning.  Life is crazy, you never know when a bunch of celery will take you down.

Oshi - in happier days - before he was tormented by celery

So the theme of this blog post is be thankful for what you have because you never know when a vegetable will decide to attack you.

Thank you so much for your readership and support.  Stay tuned as future blog posts will feature the best dessert in NYC and the best dessert in Vancouver, Canada (in my humble opinion, of course-- oh who am I kidding?  I'm never humble!)

Feel free to click on some ads while you're visiting LilyOnTheLam.com - I will need the ad revenue to fund Oshi's therapy bills - "The celery is coming!  The celery is coming!"

Again many thanks to my loyal readers and those who stumble upon me as well.  I'd like to be at 150,000 page views by this time 2013.  Aim high!

P.S.  As my gift to you - an oldie but a goodie - Pink was the color of my itchy discontent.  Read it and enjoy!

OK Cheryl, This One Is For You - Tirosalata Recipes

As part of being the Top Diva, Author and Hostess Supreme of LilyOnTheLam.com, I receive a large amount of fan mail.  Basically the equivalent of four hundred semi trucks worth an hour - give or take a ton.  

The other day I received this email:

Subject:  Tirosalata
Hello I was looking for this Acropolis recipe online and every time I put it in your name comes up. Do you have a recipe similar or identical to Acropolis's recipe. I want to serve it at a party this year.  Thank. You, Cheryl   

Now my first thought was "Cheryl, if you put in the words `gorgeous, fabulous and innovator' in your favorite search engine, you'll get my name too.  What's your point?"

My second thought was "OK, I'll send you some tirosalata recipes ... eventually ... cause I'm kinda lazy."

By the way, the blog post Cheryl is referring to is "You May Be Good, But You Sir Are No Tzatziki."

I don't have the actual recipe that the Acropolis Restaurant uses, but here are some links of recipes that I think make a pretty good tirosalata.  I do hope Cheryl and the rest of the Tirosalata lovers out there check out these recipes and leave comments on this blog.  Well I hope you leave me positive comments.  ;-)

Authentic-style Tirosalata Recipe from FoodGeeks

Vegetarilin's Tirosalata Recipe (yummy)

Rumbamel's Spicy Greek Cheese Dip from SparkPeople

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Introduction To The Brandy Chronicles - Touristy Tips and Lily's Favorite Things To Do In New York City

Hello from the Tampa, Florida International Airport.  Thanks to Murphy's Law (which I have redubbed Lily's Law, naturally), my airport gate always seems to be near the children's play area.  There are 3 little girls who are generating a noise level equivalent to 3000 girls.  It's 9 a.m. and I have had 4 hours of sleep and only 1 cup of coffee.  I am stifling the urge to grab the little girls by the neck and hiss "For the love of God, shut your little mouths or get me a Bloody Mary STAT!"  

The girls, unaware of my bleeding ear drums, are trying to decide what game to play.  The smallest one (who inverse-proportionately is also the loudest one) keeps saying "Let's play Puppy Memory.  Let's play Puppy Memory.  Let's play Puppy Memory."  Finally her older sister explodes with Hera-like fury and shrieks: "NO SHIRLEY, WE'RE NOT PLAYING PUPPY MEMORY!"  Shirley then starts crying ... loudly.  I want to go over and say: "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND MY EARS, LET SHIRLEY PLAY PUPPY MEMORY!"  

I have no clue what "Puppy Memory" is - maybe it is some gladiator style game where young girls fight to the death.  (Only one will emerge victorious!)  And maybe that's why the older sister is so anti-Puppy Memory.  But as I type this, I hear young Shirley barking like a dog -- evidently incessant repeating and crying works.  Good job, Shirley.  

But this blog post is not supposed to be about Shirley.  (Way to Bogart my blog, Shirley.  Woof woof.)  This blog post is about Brandy - a woman who has never asked me to play Puppy Memory (yet).  Brandy will be going to New York City for the first time in her life.  She has asked me for some tips.  Which frankly is like saying "Hey Oprah, do you have any life lessons for me?"  Little did Brandy know that she was waving the proverbial red flag in front of me.  Do I have NYC tips?  Does Shirley like to bark?  I have a zillion and one tips!  Woof woof.

Awhile back another friend, LC, had asked me for my NYC tips (evidently putting several life-size cut outs of me in the NY tourism office works in cementing my reputation as "Girl with NYC tourism tips" - or maybe it's just because I wear a tiara and sash with "Miss NYC Tourism Tips 2012-2013" written on it.  Who's to say?)  

I had sent LC an email with my suggestions and recommendations, but then when Brandy then asked me for NYC tips I decided that I needed to share my knowledge with THE WORLD.  (Yes, yes I know - I am selfless ... practically Mother Teresa - but even more so ...  No time for humility for myself or Shirley.)

Little did Brandy know that her question would inspire a series of blog posts which I am now calling "The Brandy Chronicles."    I suspect other friends will become jealous and start asking me questions worthy of multiple blog-posts.  Such as "Lily, why are you so beautiful?"  That question alone is worth like 47 blog posts just to answer in vague generalities.  

So whether you are a regular LilyOnTheLam.com reader, a person looking for NYC touristy tips, a person looking for the history of the Puppy Memory Game, Brandy or members of the Shirley Fan Club - get ready for "The Brandy Chronicles." I'll be posting my favorite things to do in New York City over several blog posts.

If you cannot wait, check out the New York blog posts I have already written:

Chef Mario Batali vs. "Biggest Loser" Trainer Bob Harper - Eataly - New York City

Second Installment of My Top Chef 2012 Trilogy - My Lunch at Chef Floyd Cardoz's new North End Grill - New York City

Broadway and Me: NYC Fall 2012

The Importance of Friends and A Tasty Belgian Wafel (about NYC's Wafels and Dinges Food Truck)

This Post is Dedicated To My Ukrainian Fans! (Ukrainian Restaurant Review - NYC)

Best NYC Tea Room - My 100th Blog Post - The Love Song of J. Alfred Podunk

My Favorite Ice Cream Cookie Sandwich in NYC - Happy Fourth of July!  Now Eat A Cookie!

Cheesecake and More - A Space in My Heart for (Kevin) Spacey and Charo - Part Two (Part One is pretty good too)

Man, I have written a lot of New York blog posts and thanks to Brandy, I will be writing a lot more.  While you're reading all the above blog posts, I'll be having breakfast at my favorite restaurant in the Tampa International Airport - the Columbia Cafe at the Delta Terminal.  I love traveling in the afternoon or evening so I can get a bowl of Spanish garbanzo bean soup and a large piece of authentically delicious Cuban bread (made locally at La Segunda Central Bakery for the Columbia restaurants).  The Cuban bread in Tampa is slightly different from the Cuban bread sold in Miami (and in my opinion, its much better)-- so check it out.

This is the first time I have had breakfast at the airport Columbia Cafe.  While the Eggs Malaguena sounded really interesting (see picture above), my stomach was craving a "sure thing" so I went with the huevos al gusto - "eggs my way" with bacon, buttered Cuban toast and spiced home fries.  Delicious!  Buttered Cuban toast is just the most amazing thing ever.  Cuban Cheese Toast is my absolute favorite, end of the night, had too many drinks, sop up the alcohol snack.  You can find me at La Teresita Cafeteria gobbling it up!  

Stay tuned to LilyOnTheLam.Com for "The Brandy Chronicles" - coming to an internet near you!  Woof woof.  (That one is for you, Shirley.)