Ohhhhhh America: The Joy of Foam

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

It is Day Three of "Ohhhhhh America" week - where I detail items that make me say "Ohhhhhh America" and make me shake my head in disbelief, sorrow, shame or all of the above.  I usually have "New Product Wednesday" posts on Wednesdays where I review a product that is new or at least new to me.  However since I have many product reviews this week, I am going to skip it for this week.  (Gasp!)

Instead, I have a tale about psychics, foam and friends who take you to see foam.

Over the last year or even longer, I have been re-evaluating various relationships.  Unfortunately there are some people in my life who make zero effort and are quite happy for me to carry the full load.  I'm not too keen on this situation, so I have been expending energy only on relationships with people who have not adopted this Lily 100%, them 0% philosophy.  

Last I checked, cell phones work both ways ... is it so hard to press H - I and then press "send" on a cell phone to text or email?  Or better yet, how about a phone call?  I think if someone has made zero effort to contact me, they have no right to complain about me not talking with them.  It's a two way street, people!  

Sadly, I was disappointed and shocked to learn that a couple people who I considered friends disappeared from sight when I was not the one driving 100% all communication.  People I had helped when they were sick, hospitalized or in trouble.  People I had bought gifts for and went out of my way to see.  People I had hosted parties for, at my expense.  But in the end, the clear knowledge of who is willing to put in effort and who is not is a gift.  No need to look back in anger.  Life is short.  Better to spend time and energy on those who spend time and energy in return.  No need to waste energy on those who do not appreciate or reciprocate.

I have decided that in the future, I need to put people/acquaintances/friends in one of two camps ... those who would drive me out to the middle of nowhere to look at foam and those who would not.  I am pretty sure this will become the new litmus tests for all friendships.  "The Lily/Foam Friendship Corollary" is sure to be the buzz term for all future psychology conferences from now until the end of time.

I was visiting FLL (the woman affectionately referred to as "The First Lady of Lynchburg, Virginia" in past LilyOnTheLam posts.)  FLL had taken me to a cute little shopping area in Charlottesville, Virginia.  I purchased a fabulous ring from a street vendor that I just adore, even though it quickly turned my finger a gray-green.  I heard if you paint the inside of a cheap metal ring with clear nail polish, this can help stop this from happening.  (Also buying better quality jewelry helps too!)

After much shopping, FLL and I sought refuge in a quaint coffeehouse.  Our last stop had been this mystical ethereal shop that sold tarot cards, crystals, etc. and had a cute male cashier.  I told FLL about a psychic I went to while on holiday in Portland, Maine (as it has become a vacation hobby to throw away money on silly pursuits like this).  The psychic had told me that I was an alien.  (My step-father will enjoy that he's been proven correct on this one.)  

Apparently I came to Earth to help "tune up" alien souls to survive here.  The psychic plucked at the air to demonstrate how I rearranged souls' molecules.  (Souls have molecules?)  Evidently I was like the TSA agent at Stonehenge telling the alien souls to make sure their shampoo was in three ounce bottles or less.  

I was not surprised to "learn" that even a millennia ago, I was working annoying jobs.  

Evidently my soul is really, really old.  (A fact that many people will concur on ...)  I sat across from this Earth Mama psychic, taking in her weirdness.  (She told me my aura is also supposedly a blue rose slowly opening in the light.  Whatever that means!)  Then the psychic told me she watched a fascinating special on TV about Stonehenge.  

At this point I had to hold back a snort.  Um yeah what are the odds that this "psychic" watches a TV show on Stonehenge and then surprise, surprise her next client was someone who was supposedly at Stonehenge?  Use a little imagination, woman!  And don't TELL ME about your inspiration for your bogus reading!  Try a little harder, Psychic Lady!  

I do feel like I am an old soul, but I have my doubts whether I was working "the gate" at Stonehenge.  As I told this story to FLL, she metaphorically slapped her head and said "Ohhh I forgot, I want to take you to FOAMHENGE!"

I just stared at FLL.  None of those words strung together seemed to make sense to me.  Evidently my hearing was going.  "Foamhenge???"

FLL said "Yes, there's a Stonehenge in Virginia made out of foam and I want to take you to it."

FLL said this with a perfectly straight face.

I did what any old soul/possible alien gatekeeper would do in my situation when faced upon hearing that someone wanted to drive me out to rural Virginia to show me foam.

I said:  "LET'S DO IT!"

I have never been to the real Stonehenge - the prehistoric monument located in England.  No one knows exactly how these gigantic stones were raised in a semi-circle or what it was used for.  Some think druid burial ground.  Some think alien portal.  Some just revel in the mysteries of the unknown.

Apparently back on April Fool's Day 2004, Mark Cline of Enchanted Castle Studios erected a Stonehenge like replica made entirely of foam near Natural Bridge, Virginia.  I'm not really sure why and I suspect the answer might be "Sounded like a good idea at the time!"

Now Natural Bridge, Virginia is known for its "natural bridge" rock formation.  So I think it is an interesting twist that it is now known for two items - one nature made and one man-made ... rock and foam.

With me navigating by iPhone GPS, FLL and I took off to see "Foamhenge."  I'd like to say there was a kicky theme song playing in the background as we traveled ... I'm thinking like Dolly Parton or Daft Punk.  But I actually don't even recall if we had music on, as we were so determined to see FOAM.

After what seemed like forever, we pulled up into a gravelly makeshift parking lot.  I had been reading Yelp reviews that had complained about the climb from the quasi parking lot to the actual "Henge of Foam."  I looked up the hill and was like "Yelpers, are you a bunch of wussies?"  (I kid, I kid - please don't send me hate mail!)  The climb did not seem bad at all - but if it had been winter, yes it probably would have been somewhat difficult or at least slippery.  (See Foamhenge in summer, people!)

There was actually a large branch to the side of the "entrance" of Foamhenge that I think was a walking stick for those who may have issues getting up the hill.

We met a very nice man at the base of "Foamhenge" who talked to us for awhile and gave us a preview of what we would see at the top of the hill.  (Um, foam?)  Large blocks of foam seem to inspire friendliness.

There was a sign with an ominous warning against defacing "Foamhenge."  Creator Mark Cline says that he is watching and will scratch up your car if you scratch up his foam.  I looked around me to see if I could spot Mark Cline hiding in the foliage, about to pounce.  I am paranoid by nature, I don't need to be told that someone is watching me!  I did appreciate that the sign said "I'm nuts enough to do it!"  I feel like all my work e-mails should have a similar sign-off.

Foamhenge was meant to be a one time April Fool's joke, but it's now been over ten years and people are still coming to see it.  Time and the elements have not been kind to the Henge o' Foam, but I think the exposed foam looks like aged rock from a distance.

In addition to the foam structure, there are signs with theories on how Stonehenge came to be constructed.  (So yes, you're not only looking at foam but learning some nifty fun theories while you're at it!)

The theory that makes me smile is the one where they propose that Merlin of King Arthur's court levitated the large stones into place.  To demonstrate the theory, there is a replica of Merlin (in foam, I think?) looking like he's commanding something or another.  His hand is missing, but his fierceness remains.  Mark Cline modeled the face of Merlin after a friend who has since passed away.  In my book that's a pretty cool piece of immortality - to be reigning over Foamhenge after one has passed.

There is something very Americana about stopping during a road trip to see the biggest ball of twine, a giant thermometer or a two-headed snake in a jar.  I'd like to pretend that I am "above" all this - but I have to admit, I revel in it.  There was no deep thought about "Do I really want to see some foam in the middle of nowhere?"  You just do it!  

On a gorgeous day in May with a very good friend, my eyes feasted upon foam resting in the Virginia countryside.  It was just as inexplicable as the real Stonehenge ... and perhaps may be the closest I get to the real one.  I didn't have any deja vu about "working the gate" at the henge, rearranging alien souls.  But hey, you never know ...

After FLL and I got our fill of the Henge o' Foam, we headed back down the hill.  I turned for one last look and saw a plane streaking the sky like a giant arrow pointing at the Merlin statue next to the Stonehenge replica.  I take this as a sign that of all the theories about how Stonehenge was created, we should put our "faith" in magic.   

When we returned to the car, a family of four were getting out of their car with such excitement to see the Henge o' Foam.  Now I tend to be a cynic who is dead inside (LOL), but I had to smile at just how excited this family was.  It was like they were going to meet Santa Claus, Jesus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy!  I stopped to think when was the last time I was THAT excited about anything?

For me, the "beauty" of Foamhenge was that it reminded me to experience joy in the weird, wacky and wonderful.  I never knew I needed to see some big slabs of foam on a hill, but I am glad that I did!  

I hope you all are filled with as much excitement as that family of four on their way to Foamhenge.  It's important to hold such happiness close to our hearts and be grateful for the moment.  Ohhhh America!

An Omnipotent Mind, A Rude Fur-Wearer, Lucky Guy and Courtney B Vance - A Day in New York City

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

I'm still feeling blue about the passing of Roger Ebert (see my blog post "Goodbye and Thank You Roger Ebert" here).  I was very fortunate to spend my Thursday, April 4, 2013 evening at the Broadhurst Theatre seeing Tom Hanks in the very first week of his Broadway debut in Nora Ephron's "Lucky Guy."  But thinking about the loss of great writers Nora Ephron, Mike McAlary and now Roger Ebert, it's just a sad day.

I am in New York to see my Broadway shows, shop and as my pal Miss Brandy would say "eat my way through the city."  I go to NYC at least twice a year and when I was in management consulting, I was in NYC up to 12 times a year.  But until February 2012, I had never ventured off the island of Manhattan to truly see Brooklyn.  

(A walk across the Brooklyn Bridge where I then turned around doesn't count.  Neither does the time "Little Jen" and I got on the wrong train, ended up in Brooklyn and jumped on the first train headed back to Manhattan.)  

In February 2012, the magnetic pull of actor Kevin Spacey got me to cross over and see Brooklyn.  (Read about it here in:  "A Space in My Heart for Kevin Spacey and Charo - Part One" and "A Space in My Heart for Kevin Spacey and Charo - Part Two."

Now in April 2013, another magnetic force was pulling me back to Brooklyn - Williamsburg, to be exact.  The magnetic attraction of Southern cuisine.  I have had "Eat at Pies 'N Thighs" on my "Must Do" list for quite some time now.  But for this trip, I was ready to make it a reality!

I'll be writing about my lunch experience at Pies 'N Thighs in a future blog post, so stay tuned!  Before and after lunch, I window shopped around Williamsburg.  Seeing that it was 88 degrees when I left Tampa Bay for New York City, I had no idea what to pack.  I ditched my flip-flops for new boots I bought just for the NYC trip.  I had ordered them online and hadn't even tried them on.  I knew it was a risk, but I was willing to gamble with my feet.  (Do you hear my toes screaming "Say what now??") 

These boots were NOT made for walking!

After four miles of walking around Williamsburg (yes, I was wearing my Fitbit pedometer so that is an accurate measurement!), my right pinky toe was in horrific pain and I hadn't seen any taxis at all during my entire shopping afternoon.  Seriously, are there no cabs in Williamsburg?  Someone needs to warn a girl! 

Seeing that I am staying in Midtown East, there was no way I could walk all the way back without doing a battlefield amputation of several toes.  I started praying to Jesus to send me a taxi cab.  But Jesus wasn't amused.  I could distinctly heard a "Get your arse to church more often and then let's talk" whispered in the wind.  Sorry Jesus!

I kept hobbling down the sidewalks with my huge parka coat slowly roasting me as the sun beat down harder.  When I was in Portland, Maine in September 2012, I went to a psychic named Jackie Major (@MajorMeditation on Twitter).  Jackie told me something along the lines of we can use our minds to bend energy (or something like that) and make things happen.  She used the example of thinking really hard about wanting a parking spot close to the mall and then arriving at the mall and finding the first parking spot open. 

 (Hey Jackie, I'd do a better job of remembering what you said if you had sent me that recorded CD of our session that you were supposed to send me!  Not that I'm bitter or anything ...)

My aching right foot needed some energy bending, pronto.  I stopped walking, stood up straight and focused my brain on one thought "I will get a taxi - it will arrive very soon and it will not be occupied.  I will get a taxi NOW."  I started walking and less than 30 seconds later, a taxi appeared.  

HOLY COW!  Jackie Major's mind-bending energy thang really works!  My toes screamed "THANK YOU!" as I literally crawled into the SUV taxi.  I mentally patted myself on my back.  

Evidently, I am all powerful.  

Said with all humility, I am pretty much the Wizard of Oz. 

Just don't look behind the curtain.         

I went back to my hotel, rested my toes and before going out for the evening I changed into much more comfortable ballerina flats.  I had a third row ticket to "Lucky Guy" and I could not wait!  

I am a huge Nora Ephron fan and a huge Tom Hanks fan.  However, I didn't know that Peter Scolari was also in the play.  I kept hoping that at the end curtain, Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari would run out in their cross-dressing Buffy and Hildegard from TV show "Bosom Buddies" costumes.   

Spoiler alert - it did not happen.  I should have used my mind-bending energy thang to make it happen.  Sigh ... hindsight is 20/20.

I also didn't realize that the uber-talented Courtney B. Vance, Maura Tierney and Christopher McDonald were also in the cast!  Wow, this show was going to be amazing!

I dropped my coat off at the downstairs coat check (hallelujah, my parka is too huge for those little Broadway seats).  I stood in line at a bottleneck while people waited for the ushers to give them Playbills and escort them to their chairs.  There was a 50-something, skinny, redheaded woman in a big fur-collared coat who reminded me of Danny DeVito's character's mistress in the movie "Ruthless People" (see clip of the actress here).  The fur-laden woman reached out toward my waist with long, bony fingers.  I was holding a small black sequined clutch purse in front of my waist.   

My brain was thinking "What the hell is this bony, pasty woman doing?"  She looked at me as her hands were reaching at me and asked "Do you have any Playbills?"  My head snapped to attention.  

"WTF?"  

I looked at her and said "No ... because I - DON'T - WORK - HERE."  She just blinked at me as if she couldn't understand why I would be at the theater if it were not to wait on her.  Evidently there was no way I could be a patron of the theater.  

The woman's husband, who was wearing a track jacket; started chuckling.  He may have been amused, but I was not.

I looked at all the ushers - they were generally older, Caucasian, wore tuxedo-style shirts with bow ties and wore big red buttons saying "no cell phones."  I was in a black shirt and skirt and was holding a sequined clutch and no Playbill - but evidently in this hare-brained, fur-wearing lady's mind, I looked like "The Help."  

I grew up in the Midwest and have had more than my share of people confusing me with "The Help" because I'm not 100% Caucasian.  Although I am 1/2 Asian and 1/2 Caucasian, some crack-smokers think I look Latina.  I've had people loudly enunciate "Por Favor" or "Muchos Gracias" when trying to ask me to go fetch them something in a store.  "Um, queso caliente Motherfrickers, I don't work here.  Dos caminos!"  

I walked down to my third row stage left seat, second in from the center aisle.  The fur-wearer was also in my row, but the furthest seat practically sitting in the exit.  Sorry hare-brained lady, this "theater help" apparently has a better seat than you for the play.  

Normally I would attribute an interaction like this to subtle (or not so subtle racism) but seeing that all the ushers I saw were white, does this count as racism to my 1/2 Caucasian side?  Regardless which half the woman was consciously or subconsciously attacking, I was 100% annoyed and offended.  I know it may sound thin-skinned, but when it happens over and over again it can be difficult not to get a bit of bitterness over it.

However the show must go on!  I set aside my prickly annoyance once the play "Lucky Guy" started.  The first scene has all the major actors, except for Tom Hanks.  I was excited to see Courtney B. Vance.  I think he is absolutely the unsung talent of his generation.  He is under-utilized.  I would love to see him in more roles as a serious dramatic lead.  He has such gravitas and yet such subtle, smooth transitions between joy, anger, sadness and happiness.  He is a consummate actor. 

When my sister was twelve years old, I took her on her first trip to New York City and to four Broadway shows.  I let her in on a game I have been playing for years.  Whenever I go to a Broadway show, I search the Playbill to see if anyone in the cast has starred in one of the "Law and Order" television series.  I guarantee you that as long as it's an ensemble piece (no one-person shows), there will be at least one actor who has been on "Law and Order."

"Lucky Guy" was no exception - Courtney B. Vance actually starred in "Law and Order: Criminal Intent" as well as appeared in the original "Law and Order."  Cast members Brian Dykstra, Michael Gaston and Danny Mastrogiorgio as well as three of the understudies had all been on "Law and Order" as well.  Lily's Theater Game wins again!

I knew Tom Hanks would be good in "Lucky Guy."  He's a two-time Oscar winner, for heaven's sake.  Even though this was his first week of performances, I knew he would wow the audience.  Just like in his movies, he took me on an emotional rollercoaster with Nora Ephron's dialogue.  

But it was Courtney B. Vance, who was like a conductor on a train or to stick with the analogy, the calming older brother who sat next to us on the emotional rollercoaster.  He wove the seams of the play and pulled it all together.  Like the Narrator in the play "Old Town," Courtney B. Vance was the nurturing presence and the heartbeat of the play. 

Plus the scene where Tom Hanks and Courtney B. Vance's characters are on a morphine high together brings down the house.  Courtney B. Vance brought as many emotional highs and lows to the party, as Tom Hanks did.  If you're in New York City, I strongly urge you to see "Lucky Guy." 

After the play, once again I was left thinking that Courtney B. Vance needs to star in many, many more roles.  More people need to see the depth and expanse of his creative range.  It is a moral imperative!  I need to do some mind-bending, energy-bending mojo mantra magic on that task.  

Nora Ephron's last play reminded me not only of what a true talent she was, but what a great void we have in her passing.   

After the show, I tweeted: 
 

Loved seeing #LuckyGuy tonight -Tom Hanks was superb and it's always a great delight to see true talent @CourtneyBVance in action! #broadway

     
Well, the Twitter account of Courtney B. Vance (appropriately titled @CourtneyBVance on Twitter.com) favorited my Tweet and re-Tweeted it!  Now I am sure Courtney B. Vance has some social media intern who runs his Twitter account, but in my energy-bending mind I like to think that Courtney B. Vance was kicking back in his chauffeur-driven car checking his Tweets.  I also like to think that he thought "Well damn, that LilyOnTheLam (@SouthTampaLily) is one smart Tweeter!" and promptly favorited and reTweeted my Tweet.  

And if that scenario didn't happen, I like to think that Courtney B. Vance's also uber-talented spouse, the gorgeous Angela Bassett was at home with their twins and retweeting on her husband's behalf.  I see her in my mind's eye spotting my Tweet and knowing that LilyOnTheLam needs to be retweeted to the universe!  

 I suddenly have the urge to watch a double feature of "What's Love Got To Do With It?" and "Waiting to Exhale."

(Side Note:  Angela Bassett, Morgan Freeman and the one sole shot of Gerard Butler's chest were the only reason to see the movie "Olympus Has Fallen.")

I think Courtney B. Vance's Twitter account re-Tweeting my Tweet basically makes me a Broadway star too, right?  Right?  (Just agree with me!)

So what have I learned today as I pranced around Brooklyn and New York City?  

I learned that I should have gone with unfashionable athletic shoes instead of sassy boots.  

I learned that when your toes are about to drop off, my mind can bend energy to make taxis appear out of thin air.

I learned that even though I have a law degree, a good job and a sexy BMW convertible, ignorant people are still going to mistake me for "the help" - and that that is their issue not mine.  

I learned that while some of our great writing talents have been silenced recently, that their voices can still be heard through the talents of others.  Their contributions have immortalized them and they will not be forgotten.

I re-learned that Courtney B. Vance is amazing.

And I re-learned that New York City never fails to disappoint. 

Thanks for reading!