Dessert- Detox Style! Baked Cinnamon Pear with Coconut Chai Chia "Faux Caviar" Pudding

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

I am back from a long birthday weekend in New Orleans where I ate and drank everything and anything I wanted!  By the last day my stomach and liver were screaming "Why?  Why do you hate us?"

So now that the vacation is over, I am looking to detox my diet and bring in some fresh healthy food that is low in refined sugars, sodium and chemicals.  

But I still get dessert, right? Right?

I love dessert so any healthy eating plan has to include room for some dessert!

When my little sister was in college, I would send her gift boxes of Harry and David's pears.  So this year for my birthday, my sister sent me a Harry and David's gift basket.  Ohhh those juicy pears!  So delicious but so many pears for one person.  I decided to bake a pear sprinkled in cinnamon for dessert.  No sugar, no fatty crumble topping, no whipped cream, no ice cream ... sigh this healthy dessert is sounding kind of boring.

But no ... wait ... I definitely could jazz up this dessert without feeling too unhealthy.  One of my friends has been adding chia seeds - a seed in the mint family - to her food to promote better digestive health (due to its fiber content) and Omega-3 benefits.  

I have read articles online claiming chia seeds are also an appetite suppressant and can help you lose weight, but a 12 week study did not show that either claim is true.

However I'm always in for trying new food fads, so I thought I would try making "chia pudding" which next to Chia Pets seems to be the top use of chia seeds.

I love chai flavors so I wanted to give "chai chia" a try.  I whipped up a batch of chia seeds, chai spices and coconut milk and let it sit in the refrigerator for about 6 hours.  The result?  A creamy, rich, coconut and chai spice flavored topping that really went well with my baked pears.    

It was a very satisfying dessert without loads of guilt.  Plus it is SUPER EASY to make.  Try it yourself and let me know what you think!

Not the world's best food stylist but it tastes super yummy!

LilyOnTheLam's Baked Cinnamon Pears with Coconut Chai Chia "Faux Caviar" Pudding
(Four servings)

1/2 of a 14.5 ounce can of light coconut milk 
2 Tbsp. Chia seeds (I buy mine from Whole Foods)
1 dropperful of liquid Stevia (or 1-2 Tbsp. maple syrup, honey or agave nectar)
cardamom
nutmeg
cinnamon

2 pears (I used Comice Pears)
1/2 c. water


First: prepare the "Faux Caviar" Coconut Chai Chia Pudding.  Take 1 c. of light coconut milk (or approximately 1/2 of a 14.5 oz. can) and pour into a mixing bowl.  

Note:  You can substitute 1 c. of Blue Diamond Unsweetened Almond Breeze Almond & Coconut Milk Blend for the coconut milk- it will not be as rich tasting but will be lower in calories.  You may want to add 1/2 tsp. vanilla if using Almond Breeze.  

To the coconut milk, add 2 Tbsp. of chia seeds and whisk well.  The chia seeds will instantly begin to soak in the coconut milk and clump together.  Add 1 dropperful of liquid stevia, a dash of cardamom and a dash of nutmeg.  Add 2-3 dashes of cinnamon.  Whisk again well.  Cover the mixing bowl with plastic wrap and let sit in refrigerator for at least two hours or even overnight.  You may wish to whisk the chia pudding every couple of hours to help the thickening process.  However this is not absolutely necessary.  Whisk the chia pudding again before serving.

After sitting in the refrigerator, the chia seeds will plump up and the coconut milk mixture will thicken.  The chai scent is intoxicating!  To me, the pudding looks like it is studded with tapioca pearls or caviar.  It may look somewhat odd, but it tastes ultra rich, creamy and delicious.

Second: Prepare the pears!

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.  Slice each pear into 8 slices length-wise.  (I keep the skin on, but you can peel them if you would like.)  In a glass baking pan, add 1/2 cup water and lay the sliced pears in a single layer.  Sprinkle cinnamon on top and bake for 20-35 minutes, until tender but not falling apart.

Place 4 slices of baked pear on four individual serving dishes and top with several spoonfuls of coconut chai chia pudding.  Serve, eat and enjoy!      

The warm pear will heat up the pudding, so if you'd rather preserve the cold and hot temperatures you could also serve the pudding in its own bowl next to the warm pear.

This dessert is like summer and autumn in a bowl - rich, creamy, thick coconut and chai flavors with the warm, luscious baked pear.  It's delicious!

Because Sometimes You Just Want Booze In Your Cupcake - Three Olives Loopy Vodka Cupcakes

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

It's cupcake time!  Today's blog post is about "The Loopy Jason Cupcake - a double-frosted cupcake consisting of an almond and Three Olives Loopy vodka flavored cupcake with Three Olives Loopy vodka glaze and then topped with a Cream Cheese and Three Olives Loopy vodka butter cream frosting."  Excited? 

Today's blog post could not have happened without inspiration from three gentlemen - F&G who bought me my very first taste of Three Olives Loopy (like Kellogg's Froot Loop cereal-flavored) vodka and Mr. Jason - who when I whined that I wanted a cupcake, sent me a link to a cupcake recipe containing vodka.

Being half-Polish, I frankly am surprised that I haven't put vodka in my cupcakes a long time ago.  I have used Bailey's Irish Cream in frosting and I drink copious amounts of vodka in a mad variety of flavors.  How did I not ever think of putting together vodka and cupcakes?  (Maybe because I drink too much and my creative brain cells have long since left the playground.)

But perhaps one creative brain cell stuck around because when I looked at the link Mr. Jason sent me, I thought "sure vodka in a cupcake would be good (why not?), but LOOPY VODKA in a cupcake - now THAT would be really something!"  Like MacGyver with a paper clip and some bubble gum, I set off searching the internet for various boozy cupcake recipes and any recipe imitating a Kellogg's Froot Loops cereal flavor.  I was on a MISSION!

I posted on Facebook that I would not only perfect a cupcake with Three Olives Loopy Vodka but that I would name it in honor of Mr. Jason, my cupcake muse.  And ladies and gentlemen, that was how the LOOPY JASON CUPCAKE was born!

Now before I give you the details on how to make Loopy Jason cupcakes, let me tell you a little about the man behind the inspiration for this cupcake.  

I have known Mr. Jason for many, many years. (and no, he doesn't require anyone to call him Mr. Jason, nor do I refer to him to his face as Mr. Jason - but for some reason [perhaps too many vodka cupcakes] I feel like calling him Mr. Jason today.  And no, he's not a dog groomer or a hairstylist in Beverly Hills.)  I first met Jason (ahem - Mr. Jason) in La La Land -- yes, Los Angeles, California.  Jason was splitting his time between an apartment in New York City and a house near Venice Beach.  I was living in a one bedroom apartment in Hollywood that had nightly transvestite hooker action in the alley.  I split my time between horror and dodging crackheads.

Jason has one of those personalities where everyone just wants to hang out with him.  I'm pretty sure he was a priest or cult leader in a former life as I instantly feel calm and zen when I am around him.  Kind of a beatnik, modern day laid back just cool dude.  And he can cook!  I, like many people, just think that Jason is the bees' elbows.  People just want to be around him.

Oh and by the way ... do you want to know something else about Jason?

I hate him.

Yes, don't tell Jason, but I hate him.  

Why, you ask?  

After such praise and insect appendages and cult leader status?  

Yes, yes and yes.  I hate him.  

And lean in closer, because I'll tell you the two reasons I absolutely hate Jason.

Number one -- he's a savant.  Do you know how on occasion you may get an itch to try something new?  Like you decide you want to try pottery, so you take some clay and after much concerted effort you make ... ta da, a round ball!  

Well with Jason, when he gets an itch to try something he goes from amateur to masterpiece creator in about 1.3 seconds.  

Oh Jason wants to try sculpting?  How did that go?  Oh a garage full of museum-quality pieces on the first try.

Oh, Jason wants to try his hand at woodworking?  I did woodworking in 6th grade.  Do you know what I made?  A cutting board - 2 pieces of wood fused together.  And a bookstand - 3 pieces of wood fused together.  

Do you know what Jason made for his very first woodworking project?  A gigantic king-sized bed frame - reminiscent of something you would see at some ridiculously ritzy $1000 a night eco-lodge in the middle of a rainforest.  

Jason is so good at everything he decides to try on a whim that I just want to choke the life out of him.  

After he makes me a house full of furniture, that is.

Number Two --  The second reason why I hate Jason is because he works in New York City at an office where they have every beverage known to man or beast.  My company won't even pay for my internet and Jason has 900,000 beverages at his disposal each and every day.  

People, beverages are important.  And I'm not just talking about "Oh you have BOTH Pepsi and Coke products?"  No, I am talking about: 

"Hey Jason, I had this wild peyote-induced hallucination where I rode a pegasus to a forest inhabited by gnomes and they served this crystal clear nectar that they plucked from giant Avatar the movie-like flowers, fermented for 100 years and then served lightly carbonated.  Do you have any of that on hand?"

"Sure Lily, do you want the soursop flavor or the jackfruit flavor?"

"WHAAAAAT?  I thought they discontinued the soursop flavor because it causes seizures in giraffes?"

"No, they just told uncool people that so the cool people would have an ample supply."

"I KNEW IT!  Wait, does this mean I'm not one of the cool people?"

"Ummm... uhhhh... hey, did you want this drink on ice?  We have crushed, shaved, cubed and a guy in the back who will carve little ice heads shaped like the members of The New Kids On The Block."

I hate you, Jason.  I hate you and your savant ways and your unlimited supply of magical drinks.  Beverages are important and in this life Jason obviously has an incredible store of beverage karma.  While I, on the other hand, get giddy if I have a Smartwater every now and again.

Now some of you out there may be thinking: "Hmmm Lily, your `hatred' actually sounds like textbook jealousy."  To which I would respond "Shut up, Dr. Freud- nobody asked you!"

Is it no wonder that Jason the savant would also be the ultimate cupcake muse?  So while I hate Jason, I love that he inspired me to actually use my oven ... In Florida ... In the summer.  That takes a lot of chutzpah, moxie and a lot of desire to have booze in my food.

Jason had sent me the link to the Chocolate Vodka Raspberry Rock Star Cupcake.  I took one look at the recipe and knew it was too much work for a lazy baker like me.  I needed something much easier and this is what I came up with ...

(P.S. Three Olives Vodka sent a blogger a bottle of S'mores vodka and she made cupcakes with it.  I want Three Olives Vodka to know that they can send me free vodka any time they want ... I am here, ready willing and able to accept free vodka.  My absolute favorites are the Loopy vodka, of course - but I also keep a bottle of Three Olives root beer vodka in my freezer at all times.  The darling little Ybor City bar Fume Bella [Beautiful Smoke] turned me on to Three Olives root beer vodka in their root beer highballs and I have been a fan ever since!)

Loopy Jason Double Frosted Vodka Cupcakes:
Makes 24 cupcakes

For my base cupcake recipe, I started with a modified version of TheBakingRobot.com's Cake Vodka Cupcakes.  I am not going to repost his/her/robot's recipe here in my blog because I don't own it and I do believe in blogger etiquette.  And I hope anyone who wants to try my Loopy Jason cupcake recipes will credit LilyOnTheLam.com appropriately.  (Thanks!)

- Cake Vodka Cupcake recipe

Lily's modifications - I followed the recipe except I put in 2/3 of a cup of Three Olives Loopy Vodka instead of the 1/2 cup of cake-flavored vodka and 1 1/4 tsp. almond extract instead of the vanilla extract.  I used Hello Kitty cupcake wrappers, because they're incredibly cute.  

TheBakingRobot.com says to mix the batter until it is just combined.  I totally overmixed and had dense cupcakes because of it.  So next time I am paying better attention to TheBakingRobot.com!  Live and learn!

My recipe made 24 cupcakes, TheBakingRobot.com's makes only 16, so not sure how that happened.  I use a standard size cupcake pan.

After filling the cupcake tins 2/3 full I sprinkled each cupcake with either True Lime or True Lemon crystallized juice.  (So 12 of my cupcakes had lime topping and 12 had lemon.)  If you are using the packets (versus the shaker bottles) of True Lime and True Lemon, I used about 1/2 a packet per cupcake.  It makes a slight crunchy cupcake top with a burst of citrus that adds to the Froot Loop-like taste.

I baked the cupcakes for about 21 minutes - I should have only baked them for about 18 minutes.  The browning of the True Lemon and True Lime is a bit deceptive, so test with a toothpick in the center of a cupcake to see if the cake is fully cooked.    

The lightly browned True Lemon or True Lime crystals made a bit of a crust on top.  I should have taken a toothpick and poked holes about 3/4 inch deep into each of the cupcakes before I did this next step.

Loopy Vodka Glaze:

I took two cups of powdered sugar, three True Lime packets, one True Lemon packet and 1/2 a cup of Three Olives Loopy vodka and mixed well to make a vodka and sugar glaze.  I drizzled a small spoonful of glaze over each cupcake while it was still slightly warm.

I did this for two reasons - my cupcakes were overcooked, so I wanted to add some moisture back in to the cupcake.  This is to give it a kind of rum cake feel where the cake is saturated with alcohol.  

I also wanted to replicate that sugar-sweet citrus POW! of flavor that kids' sugar-frosted cereals give.  

If you are watching your calories, stop eating cupcakes.

Ooops, I mean if you are watching your calories, just brush the tops of the warm cupcakes with Three Olives Loopy Vodka instead of the sugar glaze.

I then let the cupcakes completely cool and let the glaze harden.  

Loopy Vodka Cream Cheese Butter Cream Frosting:

While the cupcakes were cooling,  I took a recipe for White Russian Cream Cheese Frosting from CulinaryConcoctionsbyPeabody.Com.  I swapped out the 2 Tbsp of Kahula and 2 Tbsp of Vanilla vodka with 5 Tbsp of Three Olives Loopy Vodka.  I also added 2 packets of True Lime.  

I put the finished buttercream frosting in the refrigerator for about two hours before using to let the flavors develop and the butter cream to set.  I also tried my best to not stop by the refrigerator frequently to stick my finger in the frosting bowl.

Please note - while supposedly the alcohol content of the vodka cooks out of the cupcake as it is baking, the glaze and butter cream frosting have straight vodka in them with all of its lovely alcohol content in tact.  In other words, 21 years old and up age limit for these cupcakes.  Don't give them to your children, please!

After frosting the glazed cupcakes with the cream cheese butter cream, I tried my hand at decorating.  I smashed some Kellogg's Froot Loops cereal and dusted the top of a cupcake with the crumbs.  I found however that this made a giant mess when I tried biting in to the cupcake.  So I prefer just a couple Froot Loops on top for style purposes and a cleaner looking cupcake.  Just because your cupcake is boozy, doesn't mean it needs to be sloppy.  Or at least that has always been my life's motto.

So how did it taste?  Really sweet and citrus-y with a Loopy vodka kick.  It's like you put a splash of vodka in your morning breakfast cereal.  (Frankly something I consider from time to time ...)

The almond cupcake balanced the rich sweetness of the glaze and the cream cheese butter cream.  It definitely had that "This is too sweet to be a part of my balanced morning breakfast" feeling that I get when I eat sugared cereals.  If I had not over-mixed and over-baked the cupcake batter, this would have been an A+ recipe!

And there you have it - LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers - The Loopy Jason Cupcake - a Three Olives Loopy Vodka cupcake!  Try out the recipe and let me know what you think in the comments section!

P.S. Three Olives, I'm serious - send me some free vodka.  ;)

Superb Sundae: Trader Joe's Fleur de Sel Caramel Sauce

Hello LilyOnTheLam.com Readers:

If you're in the Tampa Bay area, you may have been among the anxious awaiters of the new Trader Joe's grocery store in Sarasota, Florida.  For years, we Floridians went without a Trader Joe's grocery store.  To me it was like going without oxygen or sunlight.  (OK maybe not THAT dramatic!)

Then finally, finally, finally a Trader Joe's store opened in Naples, Florida.  And yes, I was one of the insane Tampanians (I refuse to be called a Tampan - sounds like tampon) who drove three hours down to Naples with a gigantic cooler on a regular basis.  (Read about my adventures by selecting "Trader Joes" on the index in the left-hand column of this blog!)

But finally the Sarasota Trader Joe's store opened!  Less than an hour away from my home was all my wonderful Trader Joe's delights.  (Read about my absolute favorite Trader Joe's product here.)  I had heard that the first few weeks were a mad crush of excited pandemonium.  I decided to wait awhile before going, but then 2 weekends ago it was a bright, sunny day.  After weeks of rain, my convertible was begging to be driven.  I started driving with no particular destination and found myself at the Sarasota Trader Joe's.  Evidently, my convertible's auto pilot setting ends up at Trader Joe's versus my home!  

The store was insanely crowded with Floridians who were just bursting with wild excitement.  One gentleman had 12 boxes of Trader Joe's frozen steamer clams in his cart.  Evidently the steamer clams must be good!  Another gentleman in the check-out line had 2 cases of wine and a bag on banana chips.  I wanted to approach him and say "Sir, judging by the alcohol to food ratio in your cart I am pretty sure you are my future ex-husband."  The store was so packed, I decided to get some "staples" and then head out.  

A huge rainstorm suddenly broke out and I was impressed by the Trader Joe's employees who walked some elderly patrons out to their cars, while sheltering them with big umbrellas.  Great customer service, Trader Joe's - just another reason I like your stores!

I was sprinting past the crowds of people when a small glass jar caught my eye ... it was "Trader Jacques' (the French-ified Trader Joe's line) Fleur de Sel Caramel Sauce."  In other words:  SALTED CARAMEL SAUCE.  Oooooooh ... I had no idea what to do with a jar of salted caramel sauce, but I knew I had to get it.  I would figure out what to do with it later.

The jar of salted caramel sauce stayed in my pantry for a few days before inspiration suddenly struck me.  Now I suppose I could have used it to bake an amazing turtle cheesecake.  Or maybe coated pecans and baked the sauce into them like a candy shell.  But no, my idea was something much more simple and quicker to make.  I'm all about fast and easy recipes!  I also love sweet and salty combinations.  I decided to make a salted caramel sundae.  But not just any sundae ...

I took 1/2 a banana, split in half and placed it in a bowl.  I then placed a generous scoop of light vanilla ice cream on top of the banana and drizzled half a tablespoon of the salted caramel sauce on the ice cream.  I then crushed five pretzels and a square of Lindt's "A Touch of Sea Salt" dark chocolate and sprinkled them on top of the sundae.  

The combination of salty pretzels with salty caramel sauce with the rich ice cream, chocolate and velvety banana was perfect.  Crunchy, smooth, salty, sweet - a rollercoaster ride for my taste buds!  I'm going to dub it "Lily's Pretzel Caramel Fabulousness."

The Trader Jacques' Fleur de Sel Caramel Sauce on its own is buttery and rich with a salt undertone that brings out the lush feel of the caramel.  It tastes very decadent and would complement a number of dishes.  (Drizzled on hot apple pie with vanilla ice cream perhaps?  Dipping sauce for Granny Smith apples and pretzel rods - fondue without the fuss?  Filling between brown sugar cake layers?  So many things you could do with this lush sauce!)

If you're a regular "Lily On The Lam" reader, you'll know that I am the world's worst photo stylist ... so here is the Lily's Pretzel Caramel Fabulousness Sundae with a little bit of bling to "style the picture." (FYI- My cat's name is Diva ... it's not a reflection of my personality at all.  Whatsoever.  In no way, shape or form.  Trust me.)

OK it's not pretty, but it was delicious!!

If you're looking for a quick and easy dessert with a complex taste, check out my Pretzel Caramel Fabulousness sundae and Trader Joe's salted caramel sauce!  

Also if you have any recipe ideas for what to do with salted caramel sauce, please add them in the comments section below - I'd love to hear your feedback!


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RECIPE FAIL! Low Carb Chai Infused Mock Rice Pudding

Hi LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers-- 


If you're a frequent reader to my website you will know that I like to talk of myself in lofty, exalted terms -- I am basically the world's best everything!  (Yeah, you heard me.)  


Of course I am joking, but boy did life hand me a big dose of "Guess again, Sister!" when I tried to "improve" upon the low carb mock rice pudding recipe that I had reviewed in a previous post (click here for the recipe review that I loved, loved, loved making and even loved more in consuming!)


Now if you have read the previous post, you'll know that the reason the "rice" pudding is low carb is because it is mock rice pudding ... there is no rice in it at all.  The mock rice is actually cottage cheese.  Before you start saying "ewwww" and clicking shut this blog post (stick with me, people!), I have to tell you that the mock rice pudding was pretty darn tasty.  Honest.  Scout's honor.  Although actually I was a Camp Fire Girl ... 


The low carb mock rice pudding was so tasty that I thought of ways I could vary the recipe and make it my own.  I had a mad crush on a man who loves chai, so perhaps my thoughts have been centered on chai because of that ... or perhaps my thoughts have been centered on sexy men and chai just happens to pop into the picture every now and again too.  Regardless of the birth of the idea, I had thought about doing a chai flavored low carb mock rice pudding.  Unfortunately as you may have gathered from the blog post title; this was a RECIPE FAIL!  I should have known that when the dish inspired by my crush was horrifically inedible that it would be some crazy precursor to the withering and dying of my crush.  As goes the crappy chai mock rice pudding, there goes the crush as well.  I believe Buddha said that.


But let's pretend you don't know that this is a RECIPE FAIL ... come back with me in time ... to a kinder, gentler world... a land of chai and romantic crushes ...


When trying to infuse chai-type flavors into a recipe, it is usually done in one of two ways -- steeping chai tea bags into a cooking liquid or adding elements that taste like chai - cinnamon, etc. into the recipe and having no actual chai tea in the recipe at all.


(Side Note on Chai:  My sister Squidge and I were in Delhi, India in December 2011 - January 2012.  We both love chai, but in India all tea is referred to as "chai" - it reminded me of parts of the South where all soda is referred to as "Coke."  It made for some hysterical beverage confusion in the ordering department.  I finally started ordering lattes!) 


I was shopping at the Target Super Center when I saw this chai tea - Stash brand Double Spice Chai Black Tea.  (Or if you are French [or a Francophile like me]: the noir chai aux epices doublees - sorry I can't figure out how to get the accent marks into Blogger.com because I am a Blogger.com idiot.)  

(Side Note on "Stash":  One of my favorite books when I was in college was Tama Janowitz's collection of stories: "Slaves of New York."  The lead character was this quirky but well-meaning, aspiring hat designer woman named Eleanor and her boyfriend was this lout of a pissy man-child named Stash.  I hated Stash's treatment of Eleanor, but I loved his name.  


The collection of stories eventually became a wacky film of the same name starring Bernadette Peters.  I was pretty floored by the choice of Bernadette Peters as Eleanor -- I thought she was completely wrong (although she tried her best).  But ohhh Adam Coleman Howard as Stash ... was just perfect casting.  Dark, brooding, pouty and annoyingly whiny.  I always thought I'd someday name a pet "Stash" because I love the name so much ... but maybe I'm still waiting for a boyfriend named Stash.  Preferably someone who is mature.  Adam Coleman Howard is Abigail Van Buren ("Dear Abby")'s grand-nephew, so maybe I just need to date him instead.  ;-) 


Ugh, now I am going to need to buy the DVD of the film - just talking about it has made me want to see it again.  If you're in the Tampa area, stop by for some popcorn and to watch the movie.  Otherwise it's available for rental on Amazon.com for $2.99 or purchase for $9.99.  Anyway, because I loved the name "Stash" when I was in college I made sure to buy Stash teas for my dorm room.  Yes, I was broke but would you like a cup of Stash tea?  So elegant and refined I was at the University of Wisconsin dorms.)


BUT I DIGRESS ... Anyway, I haven't bought Stash Tea in years - so when I saw the "Double Chai" flavor I thought "ah-ha" - I could steep the double chai tea bags in cream and make the mock rice pudding.  INFUSING THE CREAM WITH LUSCIOUS CHAI FLAVOR - EUREKA!  I was a little excited.  OK a LOT excited!


I bought a box of the double chai tea bags and brought them home.  I had the keys to the kingdom of quality chai flavor,  I just knew it!  Chai-infused low carb mock rice pudding, I will create you and make you mine, all mine!  However I didn't have a lot of heavy whipping cream in my house ... for the same reason I don't keep large amounts of candy in the house ... I have no impulse control.  I'd be whipping up cream left and right and dolloping it on everything.  


Scoop of fresh whipped cream on top of my coffee?  Well sure!  Scoop of fresh whipped cream on my berries?  Tasty!  
Scoop of fresh whipped cream on top of my steamed fish?  Ummm... well, uhhh OK.
Scoop of fresh whipped cream on my cats?  Uhhh... well maybe it will make their coats shiny? 
It would be mayhem, I tell you; pure mayhem.  Pure whipped cream dolloped mayhem.  
And my cats would be pissed.  Really pissed. 


I had enough heavy whipping cream to whip up to garnish the chai infused mock rice pudding, but not enough to make the pudding.  However, I did have a pint of half and half that KRG had brought me when I threw a brunch at my house, however none of my guests drank coffee - instead opting for my newly acquired Paradise passion fruit tropical iced tea (same iced tea they sell at Cheesecake Factory restaurant).  I decided that since this was low carb mock rice pudding, what harm could substituting heavy cream with half and half do?  (Let's call this Failure Point #1.) 


The original recipe called for Splenda.  I usually prefer stevia, but I had heard that stevia tastes bitter when baked.  However I had found Pure Via and it said "cup for cup" you could use it like sugar and it had a piece of pie on the label.  I thought "Hmm, maybe this is formulated to not taste bitter?"  So I bought it and instead of using Splenda like I had done in the earlier recipe, I used Pure Via.  (Let's call this Failure Point #2).

I had decided to make a double batch of the low carb mock rice pudding recipe.  (Failure Point #3).  Unfortunately my "Soviet Publix" grocery store only had small curd cottage cheese instead of large curd, which using large curd makes the mock rice pudding taste more like rice pudding.  (Failure Point #4).  


I gently heated the half and half with eight double chai spiced tea bags.

Now if you're going to infuse any liquid with tea bags, do yourself a favor and trim the strings from the tea bags - otherwise you get this result pictured below.  A potential fire hazard.  (That would be a real recipe fail!)

I steeped the tea bags in the gently warmed half and half for about 15 minutes - giving the liquid a nice tawny color.  I let the half and half cool before incorporating it slowly into the eggs.

I proceeded to make the low carb mock rice pudding recipe per the instructions, except subbing the chai-infused half and half for the heavy cream and the Pure Via for Splenda.  I baked it according to the directions.  


The result looked great ...

Puffed and golden and smelling lovely ... I thought "OK I am a Dessert Genius!"  I pulled out a Moroccan-inspired bowl that I purchased from Pier 1 years and years ago.  An excellent chai dessert had to be in an excellent bowl.

I whipped up some heavy whipping cream with some Stevia in the Raw and a splash of vanilla extract.

I took a generous square of the warm mock rice pudding and put in the bowl.  (Yes, that's Paula Deen Stoneware from Walmart.com - oh Paula, you are everywhere.)

I went a little super-size dollop crazy with the whipped cream ... there's chai infused mock rice pudding under there, I swear!

The Result:  AWFUL.  RECIPE FAIL.  BAD, BAD, SUPER SUCKY BAD!


OK from whatever source I learned that baking with stevia gives a bitter taste - they were right!  Instead of the creamy, custardy texture I had had before; I had made dusky (not chai flavored) water-laden scrambled eggs that had a very bitter artificial taste.  The small curd cottage cheese had completely melted into the bad "scrambled eggs" like mix.  It did not have the mock feel of the previous recipe where I had used large curd cottage cheese.


It was like I had cremated my grandfather and sprinkled him on top of over-cooked scrambled eggs and then dumped a bunch of whipped cream on top.  In case you're wondering, I consider that a RECIPE FAIL.


Ohhhh it was so wrong and so disgusting ... I do think if I had used Splenda, only made a single batch and maybe used a blend of Chai Concentrate with Heavy Whipping Cream with large curd cottage cheese that this dish could have had potential.  I did try it when it was completely cooled and it was less bitter than before, but still had a very nasty chemical aftertaste and still no recognizable chai flavor - just dusky, ashy, dirty, old sock taste.  Ugh.


Like my once sweet crush, my vision for a chai-infused low carb mock rice pudding disintegrated before my eyes.  Recipe fail, my friends.


I guess not even I - the great Lily On The Lam - can be perfect all of the time.  Chock this one up to "you live, you learn."  Thank you, Alanis Morrisette. 


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Don't Mock Me - I'm Eating Low Carb Mock Rice Pudding!

Hello LilyOnTheLam.com Readers:

In my low carb cooking and baking recipe research, I have found a lot of "mock" recipes - using zucchini or tofu noodles instead of pasta, using zucchini instead of apples, using cauliflower instead of potatoes and even using it as the crust of a pizza.  

I like black bean "burgers" and portobello mushrooms instead of an English muffin for a crab melt, but I don't think the "burger" tastes like meat and mushrooms don't taste like bread to me.  I like zucchini "noodles" with a raw pasta sauce (like a fresh tomato salsa), but I'll never think it's a plate of fresh semolina noodles.  

So when I saw a "mock" rice pudding recipe online where the author claimed that it was better than real rice pudding, I put on my skeptic's hat.  I put on an even bigger skeptic's hat when I saw that the "mock rice" was cottage cheese.  How was that going to taste like rice pudding?

But I love, love, love desserts - and a good, hot rice pudding filled with cinnamon and topped with fresh whipped cream is definitely a comfort food dessert that I crave now and again.  I have been avoiding sugar which means I have been avoiding my beloved desserts too.  A truly sad state of affairs.  Could this mock rice pudding give me the same homey, delicious satisfaction of a real rice pudding?  I thought it was worth a shot, but I was a Doubting Thomas ... um, a Doubting Lily? 

I saw a recipe for "Nancy's Mock Rice Pudding" on the website "Linda's Low Carb Menus & Recipes."  I wasn't sure who Nancy was, but I hoped it wasn't "Nancy who likes to fool internet readers - the mock means she's mocking you!"

I reviewed the recipe - eggs, heavy cream (remember low carb does not necessarily equal low calorie!), cinnamon ... basic elements of a rice pudding, but no rice.  The recipe also said you could add 1/2 teaspoon of blackstrap molasses to add flavor without too many added carbs.  I did not have molasses, so I left this out.  I prefer to use Stevia as my sweetener, the recipe calls for Splenda.  I have heard that Stevia gets bitter-tasting when baked, so I decided to just follow the recipe.  I only used about half the amount of Splenda though.  I prefer a less sweet rice pudding and I knew I'd be topping it with full fat fresh whipped cream.  

I would like to try using a different sweetener - perhaps erythritol- instead of Splenda, the next time I make this recipe.  I like golden raisins in my rice pudding.  I added a few tablespoons to the recipe.  This increases the carb count, so if you're strictly watching your carbs you may want to leave the raisins out.  I also added a healthy dash of fresh ground nutmeg and ground ginger in addition to the cinnamon listed in the recipe.

The recipe lists baking the mock rice pudding in large or small casserole rounds (ramekins).  However I purchased an aqua speckle 9 inch x 9 inch Paula Deen stoneware casserole baking pan from Walmart.com that I wanted to try out.  What's more homey and Paula Deen-style than a dessert chock full of heavy whipping cream?  This 9x9 stoneware casserole is HUGE.  I seriously wonder if the 9 inch x 9 inch is measured the same way Paula Deen measures butter - generously!  I need to break out the measuring tape and see if it really is truly 9 inches x 9 inches.  It seems much larger.  

I poured the mock rice pudding "batter" into the greased stoneware casserole.  The pudding was very shallow because of my huge pan, but I was determined to use my new Paula Deen stoneware!  For best results, use a smaller baking dish than I did for a thicker pudding.  Unless you too have a Paula Deen stoneware dish you want to break in - then by all means, use it!  

I baked the mock rice pudding for 70 minutes as indicated in the recipe.  The recipe also suggests stirring the pudding halfway through the baking process to evenly distribute the cottage cheese.  However my pudding was baking in such a thin layer that I didn't think the cottage cheese and raisins falling to the bottom of the dish would be a big deal.

The house smelled wonderful while this dessert was baking - cinnamon is such a great aroma.  I have not used my regular sized oven (I'm a toaster oven girl) in months ... maybe even longer.  I wanted to run up and down the halls of my condo screaming "Hey, I'm using the BIG OVEN - not the toaster oven!  Look at me!  I'm BAKING!  No eating Greek yogurt over the kitchen sink!  I'm a CHEF!"  However, my neighbors (most of whom are on the high end of geriatric ... um that means they are really old, not that they are high on marijuana) already think I am a man-crazy, crazy-crazy floozy gal.  Running down the halls screaming about cottage cheese as rice would probably not elevate their opinion of me.    

After 70 minutes, I pulled out the baked mock rice pudding.  It puffed up and had a nice golden color.

Feel free to "ooh" and "aah" over my gorgeous aqua speckle Paula Deen Stoneware

The mock rice pudding certainly smelled like the real thing.  My home smelled wonderful-- cozy, comfort food nirvana!  A good dessert (or one that I hoped was good) deserves a fancy dish.  So voila, my dragonfly bowl from Oahu, Hawaii.  (LilyOnTheLam trivia - Lily's favorite Hawaiian island?  Kaua'i.)  

I cut the thin pudding into nine squares.  The recipe gives the calorie count for 4 or 6 servings.  I used two squares as my serving.  

I stacked the two pieces of mock rice pudding on top of each other.  You can see the large curd cottage cheese bits in the picture below.  No, large curd cottage cheese does not look like rice!

About five minutes before the mock rice pudding was done baking, I poured 1/2 cup of heavy whipping cream in my stand mixer.  This will make around 1 cup of whipped cream - a generous amount to top the rice pudding squares.  To the whipping cream, you could add vanilla or almond extract (about 1/8 tsp if you're using almond extract or 1/4 tsp. if using vanilla extract) and 1-3 packets of sweetener.  

I personally prefer to whip the cream without any flavoring or sweetener.  I place the unflavored whipped cream on top of a dessert and then sprinkle 1/3 - 1/2 of a packet of Stevia in the Raw on top of the unflavored, unsweetened whipped cream.  This is just my preference - I don't like overly sweetened whipped cream.  Sprinkling the Stevia on top of the whipped cream adds the right amount of sweetness for me. 

I also like to whip the cream until it is very thick and solid - a few minutes away from butter!  (See below)

I topped the warm mock rice pudding with a generous scoop of unflavored, unsweetened whipped cream and then sprinkled some Stevia in the Raw on the cream.  Ahhhh it smelled so good, I could not wait to take the first bite!

          
The Verdict?:  Is there such a thing as Rice Pudding-flavored cheesecake?  This warm mock rice pudding did really taste like rice pudding with a cheesecake like twist.  OK rice pudding where the rice had been blended until smooth.  I agree with Linda of Linda's Low Carb Menus & Recipes - this really is better tasting than rice pudding.  Sometimes rice pudding is made with a starchier variety of rice and the rice pudding can have a wallpaper paste like texture.  You won't find that taste here.  The golden raisins really did make this mock rice pudding taste like real rice pudding.  Had I left out the golden raisins I think this would have tasted more like hot cheesecake.  It was very rich - especially with the fresh whipped cream topping.  

Linda says she prefers to eat this rice pudding cold.  I ate it both ways (I'm doing it all for you, LilyOnTheLam.com readers!)  I like it both ways, but my preference is eating it warm with the whipping cream starting to melt down the sides.  Very rich.  Very delicious.

I tip my hat to you "Mock Rice Pudding Recipe," you really do taste like rice pudding.  A+++ recipe.  I would make you all the time, except as I said above "Low carb does not equal low calorie."  With one cup of heavy whipping cream in the recipe (plus extra for topping), this is definitely a once in awhile dessert.  I walked eight miles today, so I don't feel too bad eating it though.  Who would have guessed a mock recipe really does taste better than the real thing?

Maybe it's time I try that cauliflower for pizza crust recipe from YourLighterSide.com after all ...         

P.S. There is such a thing as rice pudding cheesecake!  Check out a recipe from Kraft Foods here and a recipe for a pretty awesome looking one on Free Spirit Eater. 

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I love my Paula Deen stoneware - good quality and attractive.