Teachable Moments

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

I hope you have been enjoying the plethora of blog posts I have been writing lately.  After avoiding my blog for a good part of 2015, I am trying to make up for it before the holiday season begins.  

Now if you're a regular LilyOnTheLam.com reader, you may know that I tend to be cynical, sarcastic, tongue in cheek, self-deprecating and yet egomaniacally egocentric at the same time ... and basically a bit whacky with a side of goofy and a dollop of nerd with a sprinkle of elderly, crazy cat lady.  I might also be somewhat delusional, but the medical community has not issued an official diagnosis at this time.  (By the way, when I am sitting in my Senate confirmation hearing for US Supreme Court Justice, I am going to regret writing the above.)  

Also, if you're a viewer of my LilyOnTheLam Instagram account (or a reader of my blog); you will know that I love RuPaul's Drag Race - the reality television competition show on Logo TV.  

Well one day I was listening to RuPaul's podcast on my iPhone.  I was very excited because RuPaul's Drag Race Season 6 winner, Bianca Del Rio was on the podcast.  I have seen Bianca Del Rio twice - once in the touring show "RuPaul's Battle of the Stars" at the Ritz Ybor in Ybor City (Tampa), Florida.  The other time I saw Bianca in his one-drag queen show "Rolodex of Hate" in Provincetown, Massachusetts.  Bianca Del Rio is a bit of an insult comic drag queen, but the "secret" is that Bianca Del Rio also has a heart of gold.  

I was very excited to see Bianca Del Rio (a.k.a. Roy Haylock) and he did not disappoint!  It was a FANTASTIC show!

Now as I was listening to the RuPaul podcast, a person who I will not name asked me what I was listening to.  This particular person is a business person who provides services and I was her client.  Now I should have been given a heads up when the person (who is 4 years younger than me) didn't know what a podcast was.  (Clue #1 that this person is clueless).

Next, this person didn't know RuPaul had done anything with his life past his 1993 song "Supermodel of the World."  (OK so you're not into drag queens, many are not.)

Needless to say this person had never heard of Bianca Del Rio.  (No shade to Bianca but if RuPaul's not on your personal radar, Bianca probably is not either.)  So I whipped out my Instagram account and showed this person the following picture ...

Bianca Del Rio and Yours Truly

The person looked at this picture of a drag queen with me and sputtered "Wait, are you a drag queen too?"  

OK SERIOUSLY?  This is an educated professional with an advanced degree and she is asking me - IN ALL SERIOUSNESS AND SINCERITY- if I am a drag queen.

A million smart ass remarks went flying through my head.

I like convertibles.  It doesn't mean I am a car.

I thought about RuPaul's quote: "We're all born naked and the rest is drag."  But I thought this particular person would not understand the quote and would then take it as an affirmation that I am a drag queen.

Finally, I decided that this was a teachable moment.  And instead of insulting or shaming the person, I should educate.

OK and maybe shame her just a little.

I adopted a curt tone and said "No, I am not a drag queen. I am a biological female.  So I can't be a drag queen.  If I was a drag performer, I'd be a drag king."

She gasped and started to speak - I quickly cut her off and said "I AM NOT A DRAG KING!"  She quickly snapped her mouth shut, understanding that the Question and Answer portion of the day was now over.  

Seriously, how is this person a professional?  

I know many of my friends may find my love of RuPaul's Drag Race to be bizarre - but I also have friends who obsess over "American Idol" or "The Voice" or cults dedicated to worshipping escargot (OK I may have made that last one up).  I may not see the value or have any interest but I respect their passion.  

This particular person then went on to talk for 20 minutes about how she believes Caitlyn Jenner is not transgender and is only adopting a female persona (and plastic surgery) to make money.  I found it particularly amusing as she made some narrow-minded comments about transgendered people that I was wearing a Human Rights Campaign t-shirt (which advocates for equal rights) that says "Love Conquers Hate."  She was talking very loudly and there were other clients in ear shot.  I wondered if any of her clients had friends or family members who were transgendered.

I am heterosexual but this person did not know that.  I found it curious that she was spewing so many awkward, potentially offensive statements.  But then she started talking about how she wished she didn't get married.  So I figured she had much bigger issues than not knowing about RuPaul's Drag Race.

At times like this, I actually think the biggest teachable moment is what I personally take away from the interaction.  I felt awkward and uncomfortable with her tone and attitudes.  But I also saw it as an opportunity to practice tolerance and compassion.  Not everyone is going to share my views.  Better to approach such situations with compassion versus judgment.

(Oh but it is SO EASY for me to be snippy and judgmental!  It takes stamina to NOT be judgmental!)  

I really want to dismiss this person as an uneducated crack pot but I think that adds to the "us vs. them" mentality that seems to be running center in American politics.  I'd like to think that the world is not so black and white, all or nothing.  And if that is how I want my world to be - tolerant and compassionate - change starts from within.  I need to be more tolerant and compassionate.  Which is NOT easy, but it is a challenge I should embrace.

As always, thank you for reading! 

Jesus Is A Biscuit

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

I have a massive bout of cabin fever lately.  Since for my "day job" I work from home, every now and again I feel the need to be out and about amongst "the people."  So for the past several nights I have been writing from coffee and tea houses around Tampa Bay.  Sunday night was Naga Tea near USF.  Monday night was DI Coffee Bar (Click on their Facebook link here).  Tuesday night was going to be Blind Tiger Cafe in Ybor City, but I ended up at the  much less impressive but large venue Starbucks.  Perhaps you have heard of it?  But don't fear Blind Tiger - I love, love, love your coffee drinks and atmosphere so I will be back soon.

Of course karma kicked me in the teeth for not supporting a fine local business like Blind Tiger Cafe.  About 2 minutes after I sat down at my table - getting myself all situated - plugged in my ancient MacBook Air, charging my cell phone, attaching my external hard drive because I don't have enough memory on the internal hard drive ... I basically looked like I was setting up a command center at Starbucks.  

After I got all "comfortable" with my various cords tethering me to the wall and lap top, a guy walks up to me and makes a sour face.  (Compliments on your resting bitch face, sir!)  On the table next to me is 3 napkins and the paper wrapper to a straw.  Now on my table is a venti cappuccino - hot coffee and a couple napkins.  There is no plastic straw in my hot coffee.  Resting bitch face scowls at me, points to the 3 napkins and paper straw wrapper and says "Are these yours?"

I wanted to say "Seriously?  Do you think I deposit my trash amongst the Starbucks tables like some sort of rabid badger marking my territory?  I mean, come ON!"  But no, I just smiled sweetly and said "Um, no" in a tone that implied that I thought that Resting Bitch Face might be mentally challenged.  

RBF cleared off the table by moving the 3 napkins and paper straw wrapper to another table.  (Way to mark your territory, RBF!)  Then he plopped down basically 2 feet away from me and has spent a ridiculous amount of time making loud slurping sounds as he tries to suck up nonexistent fluids from his empty plastic Starbucks cup.

I should have gone to Blind Tiger Cafe and now Jesus is punishing me ... sigh.  Karmic retribution, party of one.

While this blog post will appear on September 24, 2015, I actually wrote this on September 22nd.  (Blog magic!)  According to my Facebook, today is "Buddha's Return From Heaven Day."  To which I have to first say, none of you bastards got me a Hallmark card for this occasion.  HANG YOUR HEADS IN SHAME!

I frankly had never heard of Buddha's Return from Heaven Day.  I hoped that the occasion would be marked with ice cream cake.  It seems appropriate, right?  Again, according to the Facebook post I was reading - supposedly if you engage in a virtuous action on Buddha's Return from Heaven Day, the act becomes especially powerful and our merit greatly increases.  So on this Buddha's Return From Heaven Day, I am choosing not to smack Resting Bitch Face in the head.  And in return, I think I should win a billion dollar lottery.  Law of attraction, people!  Cosmic ATM.  Winner, winner, karmic dinner!  Let's make this happen!

It was interesting to hear that my good acts would be rewarded on this day, but I am pragmatic enough to know that in this life I need to make my own magic.  And by magic, I mean biscuits.

Yes, you heard me.  Biscuits.

My younger sister lives in Chicago and took me for brunch at a place called "Bang Bang Pie and Biscuits."  Which is the best name for a restaurant EVER.  It has pie.  It has biscuits. What more do you need?  Because I have self-diagnosed early onset Alzheimer's (I'm only 947 years old!), for some reason my neural pathways think the name of the restaurant is "Faster Pussycat, Kill Kill and Biscuits."  (A bastardization of the name of a 1965 movie.)  Sigh.  It's a wonder I can tie my own shoes.

I remember sitting in front of my sister with a giant biscuit on my plate and love in my heart, feeling sad that Tampa Bay did not have a great biscuit restaurant.  Well Tampa has come through for me once again.  I have found a restaurant in Seminole Heights (Tampa), Florida that has better biscuits than Bang Bang Pie and Biscuits- which is a huge compliment because Bang Bang's biscuits and pie are pretty crazy delicious.

In a massive fit of cabin fever, after several agonizing conference calls I decided my Buddha reward was to have an early dinner at Fodder and Shine restaurant in Seminole Heights.  I love Seminole Heights and the recent surge of new fabulous places popping up left and right has only made me love it more.  (Side note:  my beloved Cleanse Apothecary is moving locations November 1, 2015 next to the hip mecca "Rooster and the Till Restaurant" in Seminole Heights.  Check them out!)  

As I am on month 8 of a 13 month sobriety goal, I could not indulge in the fantastic array of cocktails at Fodder and Shine.  So I made due with unsweetened iced tea in a mason jar.  (Is there a better vessel for my beverage?  NO.)

I already knew what I was ordering before I arrived.  The "Cornmeal Fried Chicken Biscuit" which is a thin slice of cornmeal breaded chicken on a "Cathead Biscuit" with house made jam and mahonesa.  Which I later discovered is just a fancy way of saying mayonnaise!  It was a very lovely mayonnaise.  This wasn't Hellman's out of a jar, people!  

I said a quick prayer that a "Cathead Biscuit" does not contain actual cat heads.  (Southern lore says the name came about because the biscuits are the side of a cat's head.  And I will admit the biscuits are super huge.)  At $6 for this giant biscuit with fried chicken, I thought I was getting a tremendous bargain!

Fodder and Shine Fried Chicken Biscuit

I love Southern side dishes, so I also ordered the bacon braised greens.  I find that it's the apple cider vinegar that really sets proper greens apart.  Fodder and Shine's greens were al dente and not cooked to death like most places.  I would have liked maybe about 30 seconds more of cooking, but I quickly became accustomed to their greens and gobbled them up with their housemade hot sauce and lemon juice concoction.

Seasonal bacon-braised greens

Housemade hot sauce and preserved lemon juice - tastiness!

Fodder and Shine does not currently sell these sauces.  They make them only for use in the restaurant.  I hope in the future this will change.  On this particular occasion, I had a very large purse with me.  Like a middle school shoplifter, I contemplated how many bottles of sauce I could smuggle into my purse.  But then I weighed that thought against never having access to the hearty, flaky, buttery, amazing deliciousness of Fodder and Shine's Cathead Biscuits ... and I decided not to pursue a life of crime.  What a waste of a big purse.  Sigh.

In addition to the fried chicken biscuit and the bacon-braised greens, I also had the Cheddar Cheese Sofkee.  I had never heard of "sofkee" before but the menu description said "Florida native porridge of fermented rice grits, cheddar, cream and butter."  Now the menu could have said "Your shoe with cheddar, cream and butter" and I would have said "Yes, let's order that."  I was all aboard the sofkee train!  

For an extra dollar, you can have your sofkee topped with bacon tomato gravy.  Trust me, it is worth spending the extra dollar.  The "bacon tomato gravy" is like a bright, flavorful, freshly made tomato sauce.  It reminded me of trips to Tuscany.  Get it.  Do it. 

Sofkee with bacon tomato gravy

Iced tea in mason jars

I am a rabid fan of the reality television competition show RuPaul's Drag Race.  I am an even more rabid fan of Floridian drag queen Latrice Royale.  On the show, Latrice Royale said his now infamous catchphrase: "Jesus is a biscuit.  Let Him sop you up!"  (Order Latrice's catchphrase t-shirt here!)  Because of my love for Latrice Royale and also love of carbs, my Instagram feed is usually rife with biscuits of all kinds.  The other day, THIS fabulous picture popped up ...

  
I have to say that all of the food at Fodder and Shine was great, but their Cathead biscuit puts all other biscuits to shame.  It is THAT good.  I am putting it out to the universe, that I want to have biscuits at Fodder and Shine with Latrice Royale.  (Law of Attraction, The Secret, Magic Eight Ball, Kickstarter campaign ... whatever it takes, let's make this happen!)

Now as if my delicious Southern meal wasn't enough, I just could not leave Fodder and Shine without trying their Moon Pie Trifle.  (Who doesn't love a good Moon Pie?)  The menu description says it is house made marshmallow fluff, graham cracker crumble and a Cheerwine (soda)-chocolate ganache.  

This dessert was very good - it truly had all the flavors of a fresh Moon Pie.  But it was crazy rich with so much marshmallow fluff.  Now my inner sugar lover is screaming "Shut up, there can never be TOO MUCH marshmallow fluff!"  But trust me, it was very rich and very sweet.  I would have served this trifle with a couple Honey Graham crackers on the side.  Spreading this intoxicating mixture on the crackers would have cut some of the rich sweetness and hey, everybody loves an interactive dessert.  (Or is that just me?)

Now beyond the food - I love the chill, modern decor of Fodder and Shine.  My server was super courteous and attentive.  Better than the service at higher end restaurants, so I especially appreciated the quality of care shown.  The menu had items of various prices.  Some items are surprisingly inexpensive and other items are comparable to other Seminole Heights restaurants.   

I would definitely return (and return and return) to Fodder and Shine restaurant in Seminole Heights, Florida.  If you love a good biscuit or quality Southern food, check them out!
  
P.S. For more tales of biscuits, check out my ham and pimento cheese biscuit at DI Coffee Bar in Tampa, Florida!
     

The Girl From Ipanema Loves Coffee and Potatoes

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

Yesterday, I wrote my Top Tampa Recommendations for September 2015 blog post from Naga Tea near the USF campus in Temple Terrace, Tampa, FL.  Today, I am writing my blog from DI Coffee Bar on Davis Islands, Tampa, Florida.  For those of you outside of Tampa, the "DI" stands for "Davis Islands" and not some homage to Princess Di.  (Just an FYI!)

I like the decor and atmosphere of DI Coffee Bar, but the prices are on the super luxe side.  Is this Paris?  Monaco?  But to DI Coffee Bar's credit, they started offering items that you cannot get on the island which keeps me coming back even if the prices cause me to twitch a little.  

For example, this awesome pressed basil pesto sandwich with prosciutto and mozzarella on Cuban bread.  

Pressed sandwich and an iced cafe con leche

The very nice barista told me that people go INSANE for this sandwich.  Well, (1) I am already self-diagnosed clinically insane.  (2)  Really?  I think you're a little too enthusiastic.  But true to her word, this sandwich rocks!  Melty, pressed, savory goodness!  I had to humbly admit to the barista that she was absolutely, 100% right about this crazy good sandwich.  And as a true Leo, I only like to talk about times when I am right.  (Which is 99.93% of the time, for the record!) 

Another time I was at DI Coffee Bar, they had biscuits with excellent country ham and pimento cheese.  I can't just pick up something like this at Starbucks!  

My inner Paula Deen was very happy with this biscuit
with ham and pimento cheese!

Some of the Yelp reviews question the acidity/bitterness of the coffee at DI Coffee Bar.  I enjoy the cold brew coffee, but I have found that at times the Miami-based Panther Coffee DI Coffee Bar uses is on the high acid/sharp/bitter side.  I think I am used to more mellow local coffees like Buddy Brew and my favorite Kahwa coffee.  But if you enjoy a hearty punch of coffee, then I think you will enjoy DI Coffee Bar's beverages.  

They also sell a selection of some types of TeBella tea (which has a full retail store located across the street from DI Coffee Bar).  I love TeBella teas, so when I am not in a strong coffee mood I can still enjoy hanging out at DI Coffee Bar with a tea.  (They also sell juices and alcohol beverages too!)  And for those who want food on the go, DI Coffee Bar offers a cold case with prepared foods for a quick grab and go meal.  (Or better yet for a wider selection, go next door to the new Tasty Roots - healthy prepared takeaway food store and peruse their to go items.) 

So now that I have acquainted you to the latest place my MacBook Air and I are hanging out, let's talk about the true star of today's blog post:  POTATOES.  As in Mrs. Potato.  Let me elaborate ...

In July, I was working in Hortolandia and Campinas in the Sao Paulo region of Brazil.  Which by the way, Hortolandia while nice is also known for its five prisons ... so as soon as my work was done, I high-tailed it to Rio De Janeiro to see the Brazil that I have seen in movies all my life.  I was NOT disappointed.  Rio is wonderful with a side of beautiful with a heaping dollop of amazing.  I can't wait to go back again.

I spent my days walking along Copacabana Beach and Ipanema Beach ... and yes, I had the song "The Girl From Ipanema" running on a constant loop in my head the entire time I was in Brazil.   

I have a rudimentary knowledge of Spanish, French and Italian and a highly limited understanding of Portuguese.  All this means that when I was in Rio, I would basically repeat everything I said in English, Spanish, French, Italian and then I would jam it all together to make a faux-Portuguese sentence.  I am sure I was highly annoying, but I think I deserve an A for effort!

Until I was on a tour to Corcovado to see the Christ the Redeemer statue up close and personal, I never really thought about what "Rio de Janeiro" meant.  January River.  It hardly describes the beauty of this place.

In my travels in Brazil, I basically ate my way through several cities.  There were several Brazilian buffet restaurants, so I enjoyed being able to pick and choose small servings of EVERYTHING and then pay by the weight of the food.  I felt this was the best culinary tour possible and I was able to try so many dishes this way.  Gluttony on a budget!  

About 1 1/2 weeks ago, I went to Orlando to see Katya and Trixie Mattel from Season Seven of RuPaul's Drag Race.  Katya is sober after his own struggles with addiction.  

Katya!

Even upside down, Katya is AMAZING

I was going through a particularly trying time and I watched an episode of RuPaul Drag Race where Katya spoke of his struggles with addiction and sobriety.  His words spoke directly to me through the screen and I felt renewed and hopeful.  If Katya could do it, so could I.  

So when I met him in person - even though we were being rushed through the photo line -  I gave him a hug and told him that his sobriety inspires me.  He grabbed my arms, looked me right in the eye and gave me the most wonderful, sincere thank you.  I was very touched by his candor.  I wish him the best in parlaying his 15 minutes of reality TV show fame into a profitable career.  

But BEFORE my heartwarming meeting with Katya, I had dinner in Orlando ... not just any dinner.  A Brazilian inspired meal.  While I have been to Orlando many times and have many local favorite places (The Ravenous Pig, The Tasting Room at Chef's Table at the Edgewater Hotel, Briarpatch Restaurant, Bosphorous Turkish Cuisine, etc., etc.), I wanted to try some place new for this Orlando visit.  

Now before I continue, I must tell you that of my many sordid addictions - my carb and sugar addiction is the biggest monkey on my back.  It whispers to me daily with a siren's song of freshly baked bread and pastries.  I have made a concerted effort to stay away as much as I can from these animalistic urges for the past six months, but it has not been easy.  If I had my way, I'd swan dive into a vat of cream puffs and eat my way out.  (And I'd love every single second of it!)  

It is with this insane love of all things starchy carb that led me to one day Google "rosti potatoes" and Orlando.  It's my equivalent of shooting up in an alley.  The struggle is REAL, people.  The struggle is real!  

To my surprise, Orlando has a Brazilian restaurant called Mrs. Potato where they serve baked potatoes AND ... get this ... discs of rosti potatoes stuffed with a wide variety of fillings!  I'm sorry, but did Jesus just answer my carb-laden prayers?  

How is it possible such a wonderful restaurant exists and WHY have I not heard of it before??  With my love of potatoes, you would have thought I just would have psychically just known about such a splendid restaurant!  Like a dog who can smell fear and crazy, I should be able to just automatically smell potatoes within a 200 mile radius.  

So I drove to Orlando and my first stop was the Brazilian restaurant, Mrs. Potato.  It is at the end of a long strip mall, which is true for many places in Florida.  I swear our state bird is a strip mall.  Or a stripper.  God bless Florida. 

Mrs. Potato is decorated with Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head toys, which made me feel very homey - especially in theme park-laden Orlando, Florida.  

The restaurant has a few tables in front of a counter where you order, however they also have a side atrium with many more tables.  You order up front and they bring your food to your table.  Easy peasy.  The staff is very nice.  The restaurant clean.  The prices inexpensive.  Win - win - win.

When I walked into Mrs. Potato, I saw that in true Brazilian fashion they had a small buffet of Brazilian foods that you pay for by what your plate weighs.  I felt like I was back in Campinas!  They had such traditional food as pastiles (also spelled pastel) which are like deep fried meat or cheese stuffed ravioli.  A traditional Brazilian street food of which I ate probably forty while I was in Brazil!  But I was on a mission - I wanted POTATOES!

In addition to baked potatoes, baked sweet potatoes and stuffed rosti potatoes, you can also up your potato quotient by getting the Catupiry Rosti which looked like a disc of stuffed rosti potatoes with a lattice design of mashed potatoes.  Potatoes on top of potatoes?  I am in love!  They also sell hamburgers, but come on - who goes to Mrs. Potato and doesn't get a potato?  Not this potato-lovin' gal!

  
The two most popular rosti potatoes at Mrs. Potato are the Brazilian beef jerky and cream cheese stuffed rosti potatoes and the Calabresa Brazilian sausage and cheese stuffed rosti potatoes.  I decided to go for the sausage rosti potatoes.  Now the big disc of shredded stuffed potatoes can take 20-25 minutes to cook, so be prepared to wait when you order.  I sat at a table and enjoyed my Brazilian passion fruit nectar.

While I waited for my golden disc of rosti potatoes, I noticed that I was the only one in the restaurant not speaking Portuguese!  I took this as a very good sign of Brazilian authenticity right there in Orlando.  A very handsome waiter brought me my dinner ... look at it's loveliness.

Now this is an individual serving, but let's be honest - a family of four could have enjoyed this massive wheel o' potatoes.  It was HUGE.  Another server asked if I would like garlic sauce with my rosti potatoes.  Um, sure?

An ice cold squeeze bottle of a mayo-like garlic sauce was brought to my table.  It was very pungent but delicious!

The rosti potato disc was stuffed with slices of sausage and lots of cheese.  If you are a potato addict, this is your drug.  I was in potato heaven with this deliciousness from Mrs. Potato.  The outside was crispy and crunchy.  The inside was hot potato goodness laden with strings of melted cheese and the very slightly spicy sausage that had a deliciously fatty mouth feel.  Yum, yum, yum.  

I am very glad that Mrs. Potato is located in Orlando and not in my backyard in Tampa, Florida.  Because if it was reasonably close by, I'd be eating rosti potatoes every single night.  I would like to bring a bunch of friends to Mrs. Potato and make them each order a different kind of rosti potatoes so that I can try a bunch of different varieties!  (Seriously, this is what friendship with Lily is like - forced marches to starch-laden restaurants where I tell you what food you're going to order!  Don't you want to be my BFF?)

If you are in Orlando, you have to check out either the Brazilian buffet or the wide variety of heavenly potato options at Mrs. Potato!  And if you're in Tampa, check out the pressed sandwiches at DI Coffee Bar.  Dress nice and look cute, because you never know if the potato-lovin' coffee drinker sitting next to you typing furiously on a MacBook is yours truly!  

As always, thank you for reading!     

A Song To Come Home To ... And Intense Hydration (A.K.A. Jackfruit Smoothies and Jackasses)

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

It has been an amazing summer with lots of trips including Turks and Caicos, Rio De Janeiro, San Francisco, New York City, Hortolandia, Raleigh, Boca Raton, Miami, Chicago, Cape Cod ... and more!  I have thousands of pictures that hopefully will make it to some blog posts.  (Including a picture of actress Reese Witherspoon who was standing next to me at the Boston Airport, waiting for her flight to Nantucket and a picture of Top Chef Contestant Kevin Gillespie who was staying at the same hotel as me in Chicago.  All these people are stalking me!  Ha ha!) 

Unfortunately, I have been concentrating more on work, fitness and reading than writing lately.  I think everything is cyclical - so I expect I will be writing more this Fall.  (Fingers crossed!)

It has been an extremely rainy summer in Tampa Bay, so this weekend with Tropical Storm Erika fizzling out I decided to take full advantage of the sunny weather by walking the gorgeous linear parkway that is Bayshore Boulevard.  On both Saturday and today (Sunday), I walked over ten miles each morning.  I have been walking a lot as I am in constant Fitbit competitions with friends and friends of friends ... and I have a freakish competitive streak when it comes to step counts.  (I think I have won all but one of the competitions I have been involved in on Fitbit.  I am a nerd.  But a nerd with calves of steel!)

This summer, I had the distinct pleasure of seeing the winner of Logo TV's reality competition show RuPaul Drag Race Season Five, Seattle drag queen Jinkx Monsoon in two shows:  "The Vaudevillians: Bringing Up Baby" in New York City and "The Inevitable Concert" in Provincetown, Massachusetts.  Check out a reel of Jinkx Monsoon moments on RuPaul Drag Race here or click below. 

In Provincetown, MA; I also saw RuPaul Drag Race Season Six winner Bianca Del Rio's show Rolodex of Hate, the best drag queen from my hometown: Miss Richfield 1981's show Cone of Silence, RuPaul Drag Race contestant Ben De La Creme and the Atomic Bombshells in a fantastic burlesque show and last but not least: Neil Patrick Harris and his husband David Burtka doing a great show of half-interviews, half-songs. (And I sat two rows ahead of the famed Harris-Burtka twins, Gideon and Harper.  Yes- Miss VIP that I am, was in 2nd row and the twin young children were in the 4th row.  Until they left the show early for their bedtime, that is.  Gideon had a gigantic smile on his face as he watched his two fathers singing on stage.)  It was an excellent show weekend in P-Town!  

Check out my Instagram @LilyOnTheLam for pictures of me with Jinkx, Bianca, Ben De La Creme and Miss Richfield 1981 ... as well as a ridiculous number of pictures of desserts that have made their way into my belly!

In my Fitbit fervor, I have been walking 5-14 miles a day at least 3-5 times a week.  Because I have the attention span of a gnat (at times), I entertain myself on my walks by taking nature pictures (see some of my pics below) and listening to podcasts.  But for my ten mile walks over the past 2 days, I was so ADHD that I could only handle listening to music. 

Bayshore Boulevard - Tampa, FL

These gorgeous flowers were at the five mile mark of my ten mile walk

I titled this picture "Little Bird in the Big City" on my Instagram

I think drag queen Jinkx Monsoon is ridiculously talented and I listened to his album "The Inevitable Album" several times on my long distance walks this weekend.  My favorite song off the entire album is called "A Song To Come Home To."  I sat in the 2nd row at The Art House in Provincetown, just knocked over by the song.  There is a live version of the song on YouTube, but the quality is not as magnificent as when I saw it in concert - so I am including links to both the recorded version (which I adore) as well as the live version.  

This haunting beautiful song has now become synonymous with me pushing through even when I wanted to turn around and end my ten mile walk early.  It makes me think of strength, resolve and the determination to make smart choices and have a better life. 

After my second of two-ten mile walks, I must have been very dehydrated because I went to the wonderful Pho Quyen Vietnamese Restaurant in Tampa and had: 1) a jackfruit smoothie, 2) a Vietnamese Arnold Palmer - half limeade and half tea and 3) a gigantic bowl of pho with a heavy amount of hoisin sauce and sriracha sauce.

Jackfruit smoothie & a Vietnamese Arnold Palmer!

Pho Quyen also gives a giant plate of bean sprouts for their pho, but I hate bean sprouts - so no go for my pho!

Lots of Hoisin and Sriracha in my Beef Flank Pho!

After rehydrating with all sorts of Asian liquids, I drove to Starbucks for MORE liquids while I finished reading my latest book.  Seriously, I am waterlogged ... or actually iced tea-logged.  I listened to Jinkx Monsoon's "A Song To Come Home To" as I drove to Starbucks. 

A couple days ago, a toxic guy I once was interested in but then wised up and had given the boot many, many, many months ago texted me.  His birthday was two days away so perhaps he was having some sort of aging crisis where he felt the sadistic need to reconnect to women who wanted nothing to do with him.  My eyes rolled so far back in my head at his "Oh, I just wanted to say `hi'" text that I was afraid they were going to get stuck back there! 

It was like "Dude, you were self-absorbed, vapid, misogynistic and unkind when I gave you the boot and from what I can see nothing has changed!  Why are you contacting me?"  If someone tells you they no longer want to talk to you anymore- why would you try to reconnect many, many months afterward?  It's sad.  I wanted to tell the guy to get some self-respect.  iPhone's and Gmail's blocking capability to the rescue! 

I follow "Prince EA" on Instagram and Facebook.  I find his motivational messages and videos to be inspiring and they always seem to be on topic for what is going on in my life at just the right times.  Today he posted these two internet memes which again had really amazing timing for what I have been thinking about recently.  

In trying to make healthy decisions for myself, it has been refreshingly easy to "walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy."  I listen to Jinkx Monsoon's "A Song To Come Home To" and I smile because just as the song helped me push through a ten mile walk (two days in a row!) when I would have rather been sleeping or laying by the pool; the song also serves as my anthem for taking overall care of myself - emotionally as well as physically.

It is good to respect yourself enough to make the best decisions for yourself ... and it's also good to be extremely hydrated.  Ha ha!  This summer has not only been a time of some amazing travel, but also a time of focusing on what is important and leaving all the rest behind.  I hope your summer has been amazing too, dear readers!

As always, thank you for reading!

Just A Little Obsessed ... Extending My Birthday Into December 2015

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

If you are a regular reader of LilyOnTheLam.com, you may have your suspicions that I may be a little unhinged.  Off kilter.  Nuts.  Insane.  Narcissistic.  Egomaniacal.  To paraphrase Billy Joel, you may be wrong but you may be right.

Last year, the super fantastic bakery Sweet Tweets Cakery in Tampa, Florida made my birthday cake.  I modeled it off Angelina Jolie's birthday cake because you know, she and I are so much alike.  It was a purple cake with the cutest figure of Maleficent the witch from Sleeping Beauty on it.  Dare I say that Sweet Tweets' replica was even better than Angelina's.  (Hey she has Brad Pitt, so I at least can get a better looking cake - RIGHT?)  See the GORGEOUS cake by clicking here.    

This year I wanted to do something equally as wacky and wonderful with Sweet Tweets Cakery for my birthday.  But I have family coming to visit at Christmas and I thought if I am going to do a big, over the top, gorgeously decorated cake - I should do it when the people I love most in the world are with me to enjoy it.  And to celebrate all things me.  

Plus my family's birthdays are all within a few months of Christmas, so basically it's like a joint birthday celebration.  Except I'm the star.  All about me.  Got it?  I'll let my family have some cake, but let's not forget who it really is all about ... me.  YES, ME!

So basically I issued a royal proclamation extending my summer birthday all the way into December 2015.  Doesn't everybody do this at one time or another?  

Next, I needed an idea to top the Maleficent cake of last year.  But what to do ... what to do ...

Photo from Sweet Tweets Cakery

I am half-Asian and my maternal family lives in Taiwan.  If you go to the Taipei airport, one of the many "Made in Taiwan" products they offer for you to take home as a souvenir gift is Taiwanese pineapple cakes.  Think a bigger "Fig Newton" cookie stuffed with a pineapple jelly-type substance.  When they are fresh and good quality, they are pretty tasty.

Also one of my Aunts worked in a Taiwanese factory that canned pineapple in the summer and mushrooms in the winter.  I was maybe 4 or 5 years old when I went to visit the factory.  I remember they gave me a cup of hot chocolate when all I wanted was to fill my greedy little hands with as much pineapple and mushrooms as I could get.  It's amazing what weird things I remember from my weird youth.

Now perhaps this love for pineapple drove my decision on what my next birthday cake will be.  Or perhaps it was really my love of drag queens ...

You see, I am an ardent watcher of RuPaul Drag Race.  On one of the seasons, there was an Asian drag queen from Minnesota named Manila Luzon.  I was instantly obsessed.  I too am from Minnesota and am Asian.  Plus Manila Luzon's real name is Karl ... and um that has four letters and Lily also has four letters, so basically Manila Luzon should be my new BFF, right?  OK maybe I'm not THAT obsessed, but I love his work.  I am definitely a "Manila Fanila."  

Plus I absolutely died when Manila Luzon came out on RuPaul Drag Race wearing THIS number ...

It's a PINEAPPLE DRESS ... with pineapple ring earrings and a PINEAPPLE PURSE!  Seriously, is there anything better than that?  It's so camp and yet Manila made it look high fashion!  I instantly began following Manila on Instagram.  Then one day, this was posted ... a reference photo of a Manila Luzon doll on Etsy from Monoped Creations.

A gentleman in Australia sells "amigurumi" - which I have no idea what that means but I consider it to mean "awesome little dolls that look like drag queens from RuPaul Drag Race."  I love the ones of Raja, Pearl, Gia Gunn ... I love them all too much.  I knew I had to have the Manila Luzon one AND I suddenly knew what I wanted on my next birthday cake!

Yes, I am 987 years old and I ordered this little doll of a drag queen all the way from Australia.  I'm obsessed.  And weird.  But when we're talking about inspiration for a cake, doesn't the end justify the means?  Come on, people!

Manila Luzon Pineapple Dress by Monoped Creations

So Sweet Tweets Cakery, I am putting you on NOTICE!  This December, I'll be contacting you to make me a Manila Luzon topped birthday cake.  Are you up for the challenge?

Now Here's The Problem ... My Big Gay Theatre Weekend in New York City

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

I just returned from a theater weekend in New York City which also coincided with Gay Pride weekend.  So you might say it was a gay theater weekend!  I was very happy to hear of the SCOTUS decision on marriage equality - emphasis on the word "equality."  I don't know how one can justify a legal system where not all citizens are given equal rights and protections under the law.  So score one for equality for the LGBTQ community.  

I joked that for the start of my theater weekend that I spent "Gay Pride Weekend with a Front Row Seat with a Queen!"  I indeed was in the front row for the spectacular Dame Helen Mirren as Queen Elizabeth in "The Audience."   

Since I am woefully ignorant of British Prime Minister History other than Churchill and Thatcher, I was very excited that in my Playbill was a card with the background information on all the Prime Ministers under Queen Elizabeth.  In case there is a test later, I will be prepared!  (Prepared to get a D+.)

I highly recommend the play "The Audience."  There was actually one moment where I had a tear in my eye - but I am also overly emotional at times too. 

The next night I was supposed to see Vanessa Hudgens star in the musical "Gigi."  I'm not a Vanessa Hudgens fan and I have never seen any of the "High School Musical" franchise, but I haven't seen the musical "Gigi" in decades and that is why I bought my ticket.  Sadly the reviews were not good and the show closed early.  I received a refund and I believe it was God telling me a better show was in my future.

And God was correct because in my eyes, a much better opportunity did come along!

For the record, one of my many ridiculous obsessions is the reality competition show "RuPaul's Drag Race."  Ever since a childhood friend introduced me to the glamazon once known as "Starbooty" many decades ago, I have been in love with all things RuPaul Charles.  However my real obsession didn't kick in until I forcibly invited myself to accompany a fellow #RPDR fan to a live show at Ritz Ybor for RuPaul's Battle of the Seasons.  In this show, I was able to see several "RuPaul Drag Race" contestants up close and personal.  

To add more fuel to the fire of my obsession: I have been trying to exercise more since I have an overwhelming love of all things sugar, fat and starch.  

(And as I type this, my youngest cat - Rufus T. "Chibby" Chibs is giving me a shady side eye with a "Um yeah, that's an understatement, Tubby!" sneer.  WHY ARE CATS SO MEAN?  And yes, I am eating instant mac and cheese processed food stuffs as I type this - but what does that have to do with anything?)  

OK back to the topic ... due to my love of all things terrible for me, I started working out more.  As part of my increased exercise program, I have been trying to walk 5 - 13 miles a day.  

Newsflash:  Walking this much is incredibly boring for me.  I do see some lovely water views and floral arrangements, but I could do without the overly friendly senior citizens who want to stop and chat me up with their life story.  I will say that since I started wearing my "RuPaul Drag Race Season 6 Winner" Bianca Del Rio's "NOT TODAY SATAN" t-shirt, a lot less seniors want to chat me up.  But I have a feeling they are making the sign of the cross as they walk past me.  To entertain myself I have been listening to RuPaul's Podcast while I walk, which has made me even more OBSESSIVE about all things RuPaul and all things RuPaul Drag Race.  Yes, I know I have ISSUES.

Of all the drag queens on RuPaul Drag Race, one of my absolute favorites is Jinkx Monsoon - season five winner.  Well when Gigi the Musical fell through, I discovered that my beloved Jinkx was putting on a sequel to his/her previous show "The Vaudevillians."  This one was called "The Vaudevillians: Bringing Up Baby" with Jinkx Monson as a pregnant Kitty Witless and Major Scales as her husband.

What's more comical than a funny musical drag queen?  A funny, musical, PREGNANT drag queen.  I ordered a VIP ticket faster than you can say "more mac and cheese please!"

The show - at the Laurie Beeckman Theatre- was beyond fantastic.  Any show where you get to see a drag queen give birth on top of a piano while you're eating peppered shrimp with a side of risotto balls is a GOOD SHOW in my book!

Now I will admit that I may have possibly mentioned on social media that I love Jinkx Monsoon so much I want to skin her and wear her as a coat ... but when my "in person meet and greet" occurred, I was a BABBLING IDIOT!  I gave up drinking for a year (actually 13 months, but who is keeping track?) so I cannot even blame a cocktail for acting so bizarre.  I gave Jinkx my STALKER EYES and both Jinkx and his real life self Jerick Hofer, gave me a look of fear in return. But God bless that talented drag queen, he wrapped an arm around me (have you ever been pressed up against the bosom of a pregnant drag queen?) and posed for several pictures.  LOVE, LOVE, LOVE YOU Jinkx Monsoon!  (Season Four- RuPaul Drag Race Contestant Latrice Royale, you're next on my bucket list!)

Latrice Royale

Last, but NOT least, for my big gay theatre weekend in NYC was my SIXTH (yes, SIXTH) time seeing my favorite musical of ALL TIME -- "Hedwig and the Angry Inch."  This time starring Glee's Darren Criss.  Ms. Toledo and I had first seen Darren Criss in "How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying."  He was good in that show but he really brought it home in Hedwig.  

Because I was also in the front row for Hedwig, I had some very up close and personal moments with Darren Criss as he dropped to the stage and did the worm - as he faced me - a mere 2 inches from my face.  I also received a high five from him.  Another patron was "motorboated" by Darren Criss in his role as Hedwig.  Her name was Brie and Darren Criss referred to her as a stinky cheese and left her with a chestful of glittery eye makeup.  

My absolute favorite Hedwig is still the creator and originator - John Cameron Mitchell.  

I have seen 4 of the 5 Hedwigs - sorry Dexter's Michael C. Hall - I missed ya!

On July 22 2015, Taye Diggs takes over the role from Darren Criss.  Another one of my favorite RuPaul Drag Race contestants Alaska Thunderf*ck 5000 will also be doing a show in the city around the same time.  I'd like to see both shows but I am a bit burnt out on NYC weekends.  This has been the summer of travel for work and for fun and frankly it's nice to stay home once in awhile!  

But the one thing that NEVER lets me down whenever I travel to New York City is the BIZARRE overheard conversations.  I was staying at The Cassa Hotel and Residences - which was fabulous.  I highly recommend!  The staff was so friendly.  The room clean and modern.  The location could NOT be beat.  Win-win-win!  And it's near The Sofitel Hotel, so my deep desire to always eat French-style meals was satisfied by the Restaurant Gaby there.  Plus Alex Guarnaschelli (or however you spell it)'s restaurant BUTTER is in The Cassa (midtown location).  Any restaurant named Butter is good by me!  (My inner Paula Deen is SO HAPPY!)

Side Note:  Butter Midtown just opened a really gorgeous outdoor "secret garden."  Check it out and have their lobster roll while you're out there soaking up the sun!

Anyway, I was walking from The Cassa to Gaby Restaurant to start my day with an infusion of decaf cappuccino, French bread, ham and brie.

My perfect breakfast!

As I was walking, I heard two gentlemen talking as they walked past me.

Guy One (who I assume was commiserating about a recent woman he dated) said: "I mean, she has nice tits and all ... it's just the third one that is the problem."

Guy Two diplomatically frowned with an appearance of empathy and just shook his head in response.

New York City, you never fail to disappoint me with those eye-popping overheard conversations!  Thank you for another great theater weekend - and a happy belated Pride weekend to all my readers!