The Things We Take For Granted: Happy Parents' Day!

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

This morning when I logged on to my Instagram account, I saw that one of the MANY Hello Kitty accounts that I follow was celebrating "Parents' Day."  My first thought was "Um hello, we already had Mother's Day in May and Father's Day in June - now it's Parents' Day in July?  Those greedy bastards!  What will August bring?  Parents' Day - Part 2?"

Little did I realize when I woke this morning that I would be thinking a lot about my parents today.  And not just because the fine folks at Sanrio implanted it in my brain.

It is my birthday weekend (I am now 987 years old!) and I have been celebrating in "Golden Girls" style with a weekend in Boca Raton, Florida.  It is my first visit to Boca Raton and as I had guessed - it's much nicer than Tampa with better Jewish deli options.  I love a good Jewish deli.  When I visit New York, I always make sure there is time for some matzo ball soup.  

Amidst the "celebration of me," I have also taken some time to catch up on my own personal journal writing.  For about 3 months straight I wrote in my journal every day.  Then in May, I fell off the wagon and have been very bad about writing.  I am trying to get back in the habit.  

My brain functions so much better when I give it the chance to "offload" all the junk in my head via journal writing.  In keeping with this "deep thoughts" mood, a couple things happened this weekend that have me thinking about life and the things we take for granted.

Today I read a sad story about a 29 year old woman, Faigy Mayer, in the tech field who committed suicide.  According to the story, five years prior she had left her ultra-Orthodox Hasidic community.  In doing so, her family severed all ties with her.  Although in leaving the community, she - as a woman - was now free to pursue a career in technology without religious oppression (some ultra-Orthodox communities do not allow women to have access to smartphones), the price of losing most of her family seemed to weigh heavily on her.  

In Boca Raton, I visited the Morikami Museum and Japanese Gardens and the so delicious, it hurts Kapow Noodle Bar.  It was a very "Asian" birthday celebration for me.  I thought a lot about my parents during my birthday celebration - how they would both very much enjoy the lovely Japanese gardens and the amazingly delicious noodle bar.  

I read about the first Japanese farming settlement in Florida - "Yamato."  According to the Morikami Museum, almost all of the Japanese settlers returned to Japan after frustrated farming in Florida.  (And no, I didn't mean for that to have an alliterative air - it just happened.)  My mother was an immigrant to America and I wonder how many times in her first early years here did she perhaps wish she was back in her homeland.  

When I spent a month in Malaysia, after two weeks I went to a Western grocery store and purchased diet Coke, a baguette and some Brie.  I was so tired of fish and noodles for most of my meals.  I wanted to embrace my Western heritage - and evidently my Western heritage is chemical-laden soft drinks and French food.  ;-)

With these thoughts of family and cultural struggles, I read the sad story about Faigy Mayer.  It really hit home for me just how much I take my parents' support and encouragement for granted.  They fully support the career choices my sister and I make and have never put restrictions on what we can or cannot do as women.  (And yes, we both have smartphones.)  

To think that there are people who are ending their lives because they do not have the support that I, myself, take for granted - there are no words for that depth of sadness.  I will say that the human race may not always get the family we need and so for those who do not have support and acceptance, they should build their own family of friends who love and nurture them.  Faigy Mayer reportedly echoed this in her Facebook post.  

There's a saying that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  I finally saw the documentary "Amy" about singer Amy Winehouse - who died of acute alcohol poisoning (and it has been speculated that her death may also have occurred due to weakened condition from the effects of alleged long term bulimia) four years ago this past weekend.  She had so much talent, I wanted to reach through the screen and somehow bring her back to life.  With people who commit suicide, I have the same hopeless feeling - like I want to turn back the clock and save them from themselves.

But I can't.  

No one can.  

Instead on this "Parents' Day" (who decides these holidays??), I am thinking about all the consistent love, support and encouragement I take for granted from my parents - and wish to thank them for always being there.  My sister and I are truly lucky - and so many others do not have what we have.

Deep thoughts for a Sunday!  I hope you are having a great weekend, LilyOnTheLam readers!  And as always, thank you for reading!        

P.S.  Hours after posting this, I watched the season premiere "I Am Cait" about Caitlyn Jenner, formerly known as Bruce Jenner.  She also talked about suicide being a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  I realized that the post I had written earlier today could also ring true for issues in the transgender community.  I read this opinion article on CNN.com about an internet meme Director Peter Berg posted.  I like Peter Berg's work very much, so the opinion article made me sad but I absolutely agree with the author's statements.

The World Is Your Oyster

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

Well I am planning my next big international adventure, so check back in a few weeks to see where I end up next. 

The other day I posted a very short blurb referencing an old post I wrote about "Thoughts having power."  I didn't have time to write more on this theme (hence the reference back to an older blog post.)  What I should have written about was that both positive and negative things running through my head have suddenly materialized into reality after I had the thought.  Not to sound too witchy or crazy, but at times in my life I have thought about someone or something and they just appear within 24 hours of the thought being thrown out in the universe.  I guess it's like The Secret or Law of Attraction ... I guess, I've never read anything on either.

Now I will say that this phenomenon usually is really a Murphy's Law jinx.  I will think of someone who is horrible and then BAM! the next day I will run into them.  I'd prefer if my thoughts could make winning lottery numbers and not arseholes appear in my life.  

BUT with the bad always comes some good and as I said above, recently both positive thoughts as well as negative thoughts have been manifesting themselves.

Since I didn't have time/energy to write about this fully in my previous blog post, the universe threw me another curve ball as a reminder that I should have written the post in the first place.

(Side note:  I live near a playground with the world's noisiest children.  As I type this I can hear what I assume is a small girl but maybe a bratty adult with a super high voice, screeching "ENTERTAIN US!  ENTERTAIN US!"  I don't think she's quoting a Nirvana song.  I live in a world where there are too many Veruca Salts and not enough Mother Teresas.  Although if I am to be brutally honest, I myself am the patron saint of the Veruca Salt camp.)

About a week or two ago, I was in a gift shop (a.k.a. "stuff I don't need but really want" shop).  One of the items in the shop was the cute book "I Could Pee On This ... and Other Poems By Cats."

If you are a frequent LilyOnTheLam.com reader, you will know that I am 900 years old and have 47,324 cats.  And no, I don't see this as a problem.  I also have an obsession with all things Hello Kitty and plan to create a church around the blessed teachings of Sanrio.com.  You might as well start calling me "Your Holiness" right now.  (Side Note: I was on the phone with British Airlines today and the very nice gentleman representative kept calling me "Mum" which I think he was just saying "Ma'am" versus calling me his Mommy.  However either way I was tickled and had to stifle a laugh.)

Being a 900 year old crazy cat lady, I will not admit how many times I have looked at "I Could Pee On This" in stores and almost bought it.  It's practically a medical necessity for someone like me.  But up until now, I have avoided using my precious cat food money to buy this adorable book of kitty wonderfulness.

So yesterday I find a small box from Amazon.com in my mailbox.  I open the box and there is "I Could Pee On This."  My heart dropped to my stomach.  What the heck?  Did I get drunk and go crazy with the "one click" button (the devil) on Amazon.com?  I would like to say I have never drunken shopped online before but I would be a big fat liar if I did.  But I generally have some memory of the shopping experience.  Standing with the book in my hand, I had absolutely no memory of ordering it.  Oh great, now I am not only a compulsive shopper but a blackout drunk too!  So many new "healthy" items to add to my resume!    

Then I saw in the box was a gift message from my father.  The book was a gift!  I let out a giant cheer (scaring several neighbors) that I was not a blackout drunk shopaholic (... well at least not yet)!  And then I had to chuckle that a week or so ago I was standing in front of this very book wishing to buy it myself and then voila it magically shows up in my mailbox.  It was like my blog post "A Miracle At Starbucks" - the universe provides!  Or in this case, my father and his generosity provides!

Of course, my gut reaction when these types of wishes come true is always "I should have wished for something BIGGER!"  I'm not only a crazy cat lady but a demanding one at that!  

I have been extremely blessed in my life and I try not to take anything for granted.  We are having a lot of changes at my work and it would be easy to be a Chicken Little running around declaring the end of the world, but why?  Life is good.  Sometimes it sucks, but overall it's pretty darn awesome.  

I am so excited for my next upcoming trip.  I'll be spending a very short time in a place I have always wanted to visit (tacking the trip on to the end of a work trip).  Whenever I accomplish a goal or satisfy a bucket list item, I get a Cheshire Cat high.  Or perhaps a Mad Hatter high!

Seize the day, LilyOnTheLam.com readers!  The world is your oyster and if you're lucky enough, someone awesome may just give you a book of cat poetry.  And THAT is something truly special!    

A Miracle At Starbucks

Happy Friday, LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

I am so ridiculously happy that the weekend is almost here, I could do a Happy Snoopy Dance from Tampa, Florida to Quebec, Canada.  

I work primarily from home and as such, I live the life of Wagyu beef or veal.  Large animal in small pen with minimal movement.  I basically walk from my desk to the bathroom or to the kitchen.  I wear a Fitbit activity tracker, so I know that on a typical workday I barely move.  You would think seeing only a few hundred or maybe 1000 steps would motivate me to be super active as soon as work is over.  But I'm lazy.  

I have a big round chair from Z Gallerie.  It's called "The Cuddler" (see it here).  The chair spins.  It can hold me and all of my 827 cats and we watch a scary amount of television and movies from the aforementioned chair. 

So about fifty days ago, I decided to challenge myself with one of these "Hundred Day" things that people on social media seem to be doing everywhere.  Hundred Days of Happiness.  Hundred Days of Gratitude.  Hundred Instagram Pictures of My Cat (um or is that just me doing that one?)  Well I like being happy.  I like to show gratitude.  And who doesn't love one hundred pictures of my cats?  But I decided to put my own spin on it.  I wanted to walk one million steps.  

One million to me sounds like a lot, but basically it's 10,000 steps each day for 100 days.  Although there's no hard science behind it, the common mythology is that each person should walk 10,000 steps a day.  (Which by the way, after I started this journey I read an article saying 7,000 - 8,000 steps is good enough.  There's also an article saying walking 10,000 steps a day won't make you thin.  The joy and pain of the internet is you can find "an article" backing up anything and everything.)

Anyway, when faced with my current "veal-like" existence I figured my one million steps in one hundred day challenge is better for me than what I am doing now (which is a whole lot of sitting on my butt).  So I embarked on the million steps in one hundred days journey.  

Lucky for me, trips to New York City and Budapest where I walked 8-14 miles a day helped keep my step count high.  But now that I am back from my travels, I have wanted to lay on the couch and stare at the TV.  Back to a Wagyu-like existence.    

Fortunately for me, my friend Ms. Wisconsin also has a Fitbit and we are linked as "Friends" on our Fitbit dashboard so she could see when my step count started taking a nose dive.  Wednesday and Thursday, she helped get me off the couch and raising my step count again.  And for that I am very grateful.  

On Thursday, I did two walks.  The first one while listening to Cary Elwes' "As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales From The Making Of The Princess Bride" on audiobook.  Call me schmaltzy, but I just love the movie "The Princess Bride."  I was very interested in reading the book but then when I found out many of the actors involved with the movie narrated the audiobook, I chose to buy that instead.  I believe it is seven hours long - which equates to seven hours of walking for me. Win-win!  I am determined to get my million steps in one hundred days in!

My Thursday was off to a good start.  I hit 10,000 steps before 1 p.m.  Which for me is pretty darn amazing.  I had a lot of conference calls and as usual, I didn't have a break in my schedule for lunch.  I have a global job and so the team members from various time zones book up every single minute in my calendar.  Lunch generally consists of inhaling something fast while on mute and hoping no one on the conference call asks me a question mid-chew.

I started craving Chinese take-out food.  I looked at my calendar - nope, booked solid until 4:30 p.m.  My 1 p.m. call was with two of my team members.  I sighed and wished that the meeting would cancel so I could walk down the street and get some take out Chinese.  One second after I wished this, I received an instant message.  My team members needed to reschedule our call.

I did a little "yay, now I can get Chinese food" dance in triumph!  

Wish granted!  

But then after I called in my order for "House Special Fried Rice" and sautéed vegetables, I thought "Uh oh, what if this was my ONE WISH in the world?"  I could have wished for world peace or a billion dollars ... but no, instead I wished for a break in my schedule to get Chinese take-out!  OH NO!  My life suddenly seemed like The Simpsons' episode where Homer buys the cursed Monkey's Paw! 

I will say that the House Special Fried Rice was pretty darn tasty.  It's not world peace or all the riches in the world, but in the pantheon of low cost Chinese take-out food it was pretty high up there.  Thank you, Plum Tree!  

However I did expect my fortune cookie fortune to say something like "You wasted your one wish, SUCKER!"  Never have I held my breath before opening a fortune cookie before today!

Now a side note before I continue with this story "A Miracle At Starbucks."  Back in early Spring, I was in Las Vegas.  I have  a rule of thumb where I believe that new slot machines based on recent movies/TV shows never pay out.  Even with this theory, I still stuck a $5 bill into "The Walking Dead" slot machine at The Bellagio.  

And I won.  

Over $350 dollars.  

So much for my rule of thumb!

When I giddily took my cash voucher to the redemption machine, out came three crisp hundred dollar bills.  And on one of them was stamped a tiny Hello Kitty.

I'm not sure who "LMC" is and why he/she is rolling around stamping hundred dollar bills with Hello Kitty, but I have already determined that this person is "super awesome amazing cool."

If you are a regular reader of LilyOnTheLam, you may know that I am 952 years old and I am obsessed with Sanrio's Hello Kitty.  I proudly own this dysfunction.  I am single, geriatric and have 847 cats.  I am a walking cliche.

So needless to say a hundred dollar bill with a stamp of Hello Kitty on it was like my version of seeing Jesus' face in my grilled cheese sandwich.  

I vowed that I would not spend the "Kitty Benjamin" hundred dollar bill.  I took it with me to New York, Budapest and Raleigh-Durham ... and each time, I chose not to use it.

When I returned from Raleigh, I was scared I would accidentally give the one hundred dollar bill to someone thinking it was a $10 or even worse a $1.  I am not a high roller and if I have a bill as big as a $20 in my wallet, it's a good day.  I am also absent-minded, so handing out a $100 instead of a $1 is sadly highly plausible in my universe.  Because of my real fear, I pulled the $100 out of my wallet and left it in my car before shopping one day - and kept forgetting to take it out of the car.

OK now back to my main story ... 

My last conference call of the day was with two Executives and it was warm-fuzzy-wonderfulness.  Lots of kudos for me and great motivational discussion.  I was very happy. 

After the work day was done, I set out for Walk #2 of the day with Ms. Wisconsin.  I was determined to make up for several days of laziness and get my step count nice and high for the day.  We had a good walk with good conversation and by the time we said goodbye, I had over 11 miles on my Fitbit for the day.  Not too shabby!

I decided to reward myself with a Trenta (i.e. huge huge huge 31 ounce cup) unsweetened Passion iced tea from Starbucks.  I pulled into the drive thru and placed my order, then I drove forward.  The drive thru has cement curbs on either side - kind of like bowling bumpers, but taller ... and I guess in this scenario, I am the bowling ball.  

Well as I navigated between the bumpers, I came to a stomach-dropping realization.  I didn't bring my wallet with me!  I just had my cell phone, keys and ear buds in my wristlet for my walk with Ms. Wisconsin.  I hadn't brought any money!  OH NO!

My mind raced - I had pretty much cleared out all my quarters I had in the car weeks before.  There were cement bumpers so I couldn't drive off with a "Ha ha, sorry Starbucks!"  What the heck was I going to do to pay for my monster-sized iced tea?

Then I remembered the Hello Kitty Hundred.  I winced.  NOOOO!  I have held on to this hundred dollar bill for seven months!  I couldn't blow it on a $3 iced tea!  Argh!  I turned on the light in my car and started ransacking for change.  I had a handful of coins from my center console.  I started picking through them.  "God, WHY SO MANY PENNIES?"  I was fishing out dimes and carefully counting them ... argh, I had like $2.30 max.  Why did I order the Trenta like some high roller?  Was I too good for the Venti or the Grande?  Damn me and my champagne tastes!

I looked at the SUV in front of me.  The guy was paying with the Starbucks mobile app.  WHY, WHY DON'T I HAVE THE STARBUCKS MOBILE APP?  I can tell you why - because if I had a loaded Starbucks card on my phone, I would be stopping at Starbucks every day.  And seriously, I don't want to be the crazy old cat lady who says "I can't go on my sailing vacation because I paid $6 for coffee every day for the past year."  That stuff adds up quick!  

But frankly in a moment like this where I'm about to lose my beloved Hello Kitty stamped one hundred dollar bill, I really wish I had the Starbucks app with a loaded payment card.  I grabbed a few more pennies and drove up to the drive thru payment window with a wincing sheepish look on my face.  "Ummm, how much is it for my iced tea?"  I asked like a big loser.

The incredibly cheerful Starbucks lady said "The guy in the car ahead of you paid for your drink order!"

My jaw dropped open and hit the pavement.

"WHAT?  You're kidding me - is this a joke?"  I asked, my hands still cupping all the coins.

"Nope, he paid for your drink."

I broke into the biggest smile ever.  The Hello Kitty hundred was safe!  I took a big sip of my free iced tea and drove home.  

Free iced tea from a stranger tastes really good.

I have heard of people paying for other people before, but I don't think I have ever been a recipient of this type of stranger kindness.  And frankly, I really don't deserve it.  Yes, I was scrounging for coins to buy my iced tea and I was in grubby workout clothes.  But I was also driving in a BMW.  I wasn't projecting "Homeless, please help me!"  However the timing was crazy fortuitous - so to the kind man in the SUV who drove off before I knew he paid for my drink, I have to extend a BIG THANK YOU!  You really made my day.

And now of course, I need to pay it forward.  Maybe I'll go downtown and feed quarters into parking meters for people who have run out of time.  I volunteered twice last weekend and I will be volunteering twice this weekend, so maybe I'll run into someone who really needs $3.  

Of course with guilt and Monkey's Paw thinking, I also thought "Argh, another wish wasted!  Chinese take-out and a free iced tea - I should have wished for billions ... oh and an end to all wars too!"     

But I do believe that sometimes the best things are the little unexpected things ... a break in the day when you could really use it.  The kindness of a stranger to save a Hello Kitty hundred dollar bill.  

Ms. Wisconsin had texted me to make sure I got home OK - I called her and said "You'll never believe what happened after our walk."

My fortune cookie fortune did not call me a sucker who wasted my magical Monkey Paw (Hello Kitty Cat Paw?) wishes.  Instead it said "The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does."  Which is similar to one of my favorite adages: "Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have."  

On Thursday, I had time to actually have a lunch break with some pretty tasty Chinese take-out.  I had a good day at work, a friend who helped me out of my veal-like existence and a free iced tea from a stranger.  

It may not be glamorous or cool, but all in all I think it was a pretty awesome Thursday.  But best of all, it reminded me that there are good people all around me - even people I don't know who want to make sure I have a great day.  That's a really great world to live in.    

Now it's time to pay that forward.

Have an amazing, awesome, terrific weekend, LilyOnTheLam Readers!  I hope the universe you inhabit is filled with free iced tea from strangers and people who pull you off the couch to inspire you to do better.  

And as always ... thank you for reading!

The Perfect Saturday: Living in the Moment, Enjoying The Moment

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

Happy Monday!  How was your weekend?  Mine was absolutely fantastic.

When I was sixteen, my paternal Grandfather was suffering from Alzheimer’s.  In the mornings, it was like his memory had been wiped clean.  I only visited my grandparents one to three times a year so I did not take it personally that my Grandfather had no idea who I was.  But it broke my heart that he had zero recognition of my Aunt – his daughter – who lovingly and faithfully cared for him day in and day out.  

However in the evenings, it was like someone turned on a flashlight in the darkness.  My Grandfather would look at me with full recognition.  He had absolute and complete total recall of all of my and my mother’s major life events.  He would even ask me about things I had long forgotten about, which made me wonder how much our brain retains of our lives even when we are unaware,  He died less than six months after I had last seen him, but I hold those rare lucid discussions near to my heart. 

My maternal Grandfather had suffered a similar fate.  As he lived in Taiwan, I did not get a chance to see him often during my childhood.  On my last trip to see him before he passed away, I spent a week with him.  However he was in a complete fog to all around him.  He did not speak and did not appear to be cognizant of the world.  We took him to his favorite Japanese restaurant and he seemed to enjoy eating chawan mushi.  It made me very happy to see him happy.  

However, next we had to stop him when he quickly used his chopsticks to pick up a golfball size of wasabi and tried to eat it.  The look of pity mixed with sadness on my mother’s face as she saw her father intellectually and spiritually wasting away in front of her is a look I wish I could erase from my own memory. 

Fifteen minutes before my mother and I were leaving to go to the airport to fly from Taiwan back to the United States, my maternal Grandfather looked up from his wheelchair and focused on my face.  The fog had been lifted and he said to me in English “thank you.”  

I was overjoyed that the veil of darkness had lifted even for a precious moment and that he could truly see me, know who I was and know that I was there for him.  However I was  overcome that it was right before I was leaving.  I had spent over a week there and before I leave, he finally “wakes”?  It didn't seem fair.  

But I told myself that this moment - however short - was a gift.  Better to have one moment than no moment at all.  

Within five minutes, the fog had returned and my maternal Grandfather was staring off into space again.  I stopped feeling sad about that the lucid moment came right before I was leaving.  Instead I offered a thank you to the universe for this very brief moment with my Grandfather and then I headed to the airport.  It was the last time I saw my Grandfather before he passed away. 

This weekend has made me think a lot about living in the moment and appreciating moments for what they are versus wishing for more.  

Friday night, the infamous Cardamom Monroe drove from Orlando to Tampa to take me out to dinner.  His new home purchase – a grandiose estate that he insists on calling “Lily East” in deference, reverence and homage to yours truly – has successfully passed the appraisal and home inspection stages.  The pathway to house closing is near.  Very exciting!  

Unfortunately as a soon to be new resident of Florida, Cardamom Monroe does not know that driving from Orlando to Tampa on a Friday during rush hour is hell on Earth.  It took him almost 3 hours to drive what usually takes 1.5 hours.  I bided my time waiting for Mr. Cardamom Monroe by doing some major clothes shopping.  My convertible trunk was fully packed by the time Mr. Monroe entered Tampa air space.  Ca-ching!

In his ever present need to “Keep up with La Lily,” Cardamom made some exquisite purchases of his own.  Everyone coast to coast knows that Cardamom Monroe has got style for kilometers and his purchases were excellent.  

After our shopportunities, Mr. Monroe and I went for bad sushi at Zen Bistro Grill + Sushi at International Plaza Mall.  The service was terrible, the food was mediocre to inedible but the Tito’s vodka pineapple jalapeno infusion was TO DIE FOR – so lesson learned that I will only be drinking at this particular sushi restaurant.  

BUT who was later seated at the table next to me, doing some late night sushi dining?  It was Miss Spokesmodel herself!  One of my friends is a model for the Home Shopping Network (I am ALL ABOUT SHOPPING in all forms and mediums).  I haven’t seen her in ages but all of a sudden, Miss Gorgeous Thang gets seated next to me.  Her date was a stunningly hot man.  Two fabulous women having late night sushi with two gorgeous men – it was like we were twins for the evening!  So while the restaurant sucked, I was glad for a killer cocktail and a chance to catch up with a knockout model friend.

Given the late Friday night start, I didn’t go to bed until past 2 a.m. which was unfortunate because I had agreed to do the Tampa Bay AIDS Walk with Ms. Kentucky on Saturday.  This is the second time in two years that we have participated.  When my alarm went off Saturday morning, I let out a shriek of “WHY GOD WHY?” and cursed a blue streak against Ms. Kentucky and her devious ways making me do a charity walk.

I may have been extremely tired but I looked ADORABLE.  Camouflage hat, Prada sunglasses, cute little black and green spandex-y capris and a hot pink extremely flattering top.  One never knows whom one will run into at a charity walk in St. Petersburg, you gotta look cute!  And I was bringing it! 

The actual walk itself is very short – 2.5 miles and the year prior it had only been 1.2 miles while frankly felt like 0.7 miles.  Last year, Ms. Kentucky had declared that this physical activity had earned us brunch.  In my best Jillian Michaels impersonation I scoffed that this “walk” had barely earned the parsley garnish on the lackluster brunch we would later have at Birch and Vine at the Birchwood Hotel.  

So this year I told Ms. Kentucky that in addition to the 2.5 mile walk for charity, we would be doing an additional 2.5 miles before she could eat brunch.  We had to do better at “earning” the right to eat.

Because Ms. Kentucky is a trooper with a positive attitude and a heart of gold, she agreed to do the five miles … but I suspect somewhere in her home is a voodoo doll with my picture taped to it and a hundred pins stabbed into it.

Before the walk, we stopped at the The Hooker Tea Company in St. Pete to hydrate.  I ordered a ginger peach tea which I mistakenly thought would be super yummy like the Republic of Tea’s ginger peach black tea blend.  

BUT OH NO ... OH GRANDMOTHER BEULAH, THIS TEA SUCKED DONKEY BUTT.  It tasted like dirty bark and made me want to cry!  

I dumped two stevia packets in it and that just made it taste like dirty bark with stevia.  But I was extremely thirsty, so I kept drinking it and then fervently complaining to Ms. Kentucky after each and every tastebud-destroying sip.  Did I mention that Ms. Kentucky has the best attitude ever? 

We did the Tampa AIDS Walk and talked with several fabulous people along the way.  In homage to my mother, I acquired a Walgreens backpack full of swag from all the vendors at the start line.  If you need a pill box or a floppy visor, I have eight hundred of them!  

I then made Ms. Kentucky walk further and further.  At about 6 miles, she flopped down on the ground in temporary defeat.  As a good friend, I rushed to her side, snapped a picture of her and texted it to Ms. Toledo who instantly responded with “Is she OK?”  I responded back “I haven’t had a chance to check yet, too busy texting pictures of her dead body to people.” 

Ahhh, it’s a wonder I have any friends at all!

I inspired Ms. Kentucky to get up by doing a Happy Dance of “Do it for brunch! I promise we’ll go to the first restaurant we see!  Get up!  Get Up!” which was the follow up song to my “You gotta REV IT UP” which I said ad nauseam to Ms. Kentucky the last mile of our walk.  The fellow charity walkers found this hysterical as I hopped like a bunny shouting “REV IT UP!  REV IT UP!” – and like a toddler with an audience, I sashayed, shimmied and gave my all for cheap applause.  

Seriously it’s a wonder that Ms. Kentucky didn’t turn around and just leave me there.  But she didn’t – and we had brunch, raised money for charity and walked almost seven miles together by the time we were done, so I call that a WIN-WIN-WIN! 

After I returned home, I showered and lost all motivation to do anything.  I answered some emails and found out that the nicest, older gentleman who I volunteer with had passed away that morning.  He truly was the sweetest man, very unassuming and just content to be of any help he could when we volunteered.  I volunteered with his wife a lot and I said a prayer that she had support around her during this sad time.

I felt like the news about the death just sucked up the little energy I had left in me.  Lack of sleep + too many cocktails + early charity walk + sad news = sleepy Lily.  That’s “New Math” for you oldsters.  I decided a long nap was needed.

When I arose from my coma – ahem nap – I spent an hour on the phone with the man who will be now known as Mr. Crushable – as it is very easy to have a crush on him and he can very easily crush me.  Which is gag-tastic to admit to because I like to pretend I am SuperLily – impervious to all hurts!  But evidently I left my cape of invincibility at the dry cleaners.  

Mr. Crushable is awesome but he’s also like 3 steps forward, 4 steps back.  He tends to be this super cool guy and then after awhile he has to be a douchebag just to remind you not to depend on him or rely on him.  It’s really sad.  

Growing up in a low rent transient apartment complex filled with drunks, addicts and the mentally ill; I have a very low tolerance for inconsistent personalities.  If you are nice one moment, then a raging loon the next; I am going to have my own personal freak out.  I’d rather someone be an ass 100% of the time then be nice 60% of the time and a mean arsehole 40% of the time.  I don’t like to constantly guess if I am with Dr. Jeckyl or Mr. Hyde.  Patiently waiting for the other shoe to drop was never my forte.

But Mr. Crushable was Dr. Jeckyl for the moment and we had a really lovely talk that I enjoyed very much.  

Next on my “Perfect Saturday” agenda was driving down to Madeira Beach to see the man known as “Malibu Ken Doll” ‘s new beach house.  MKD used to live very close by so having to drive 45 minutes to visit him is a slight pain, BUT the reward of being so close to the beach is awesome. 

As I drove out to Madeira Beach, I thought about my phone call with Mr. Crushable.  I thought about my time with my two grandfathers and how I had to focus on the good times versus the overall sadness of the situation.  I wondered if I needed to take that approach with Mr. Crushable – just enjoy the good moments in the actual moment and expect nothing more than that.  But for me that is probably much easier said than done.  

MKD and I hung out at a fabulous dive bar called Screwie Louie’s – which might as well be called Screwie Lily’s.  I watched a silicone blond order a side salad (who is having a side salad at 10:30 p.m.?) as a Sopranos extra older man stared at her, hoping he’d get a kiss or a fondle after she finished her side salad.  But the look on the plastic lady’s face was telling me that the Sopranos extra wasn’t even going to get a hug at the end of this night!  Side salads are rarely ever the prelude to a hot and heavy make out session.  

After cocktails and fun chatter with Joe the Bartender, MKD and I went for a moonlit walk along the beach.  The water was warm and the air was slightly cool – in other words, perfection.  The sand was sooooo fluffy soft.  I enjoyed feeling the tide splash my feet as we walked along the beach carefree and happy.

When I lived in Los Angeles, I dated a guy (a.k.a. Steve the Criminal – because his name was Steve and I found out later on that he was a criminal).  Steve the Criminal lived in a tiny beach cottage in Manhattan Beach.  I loved his little cottage because everything was multi-functional.  The kitchen table folded up into the wall.  He had a futon for both his bed and couch.  Everything in the home could be folded up for quick storage.  The entire house was less than 300 square feet and yet it had everything one would need.

Steve the Criminal and I used to hang out at Hermosa Beach, watch the sunset and go for night walks along the beach.  Although I have lived in Florida for 1000 years, I rarely go walking on the beach at night.  It tends to be beach days – or even sunset watching, but then leave.  Walking along the beach at night with MKD, I was shocked to really realize how little in my entire time in Florida that I had spent at the beach at night.  I really need to take advantage of living in an area with such great beaches.  Life is too short, seize the moment! 

MKD and I sat on the beach after our walk.  There is something so peaceful about hearing waves crashing on the beach.  It was like perfect meditation.  Complete bliss.

And to end my Saturday, before I went to bed I saw pictures from my friend Jason (a.k.a. theinspiration behind my Loopy Vodka cupcake)’s wedding in New York.  Guests had started posting pictures during the reception and it looked like a gorgeous event.  Seeing all the happy faces, I felt like it balanced out hearing about the death earlier in the day.  A reminder that "yes there are endings, but then there are new beginnings too."

I feel like my Saturday was filled with all these great little moments.  It was absolute perfection.  I felt like the entire day was reinforcing my earlier thought about how I should just enjoy the moment in the moment versus thinking too much of tomorrows, the future and “what ifs.”

Sunday morning I woke up and had to pack for my next trip.  Mr. Crushable sent me a text message – Mr. Hyde must now have control of his phone because it was a douchebag text.  I just shook my head – whenever things are good with Mr. Crushable, he has to follow it up with ridiculousness.  Really truly sad, but predictable.

The rest of my Sunday was absolutely spectacular (I’ll blog about my wacky Sunday another time!).  I am going to hold dear to my heart all the wonderful little moments I had this weekend.  So much unbelievable loveliness for one weekend.  I feel truly blessed!  I hope you all had a great weekend as well!  Thank you for reading!      

Every Single Moment

Happy Tuesday, LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!  

It's only Tuesday and this week is already kicking my arse.  Monday started at 5:30 a.m. with conference calls until 6 p.m. and then 8 p.m. - 10 p.m.  Only to turn around and start my day at 5:15 a.m. today with more calls.  Seriously people, just because there are 24 hours in a day does not mean I need to be doing conference calls every minute of every hour of said day!

However maybe it's the lack of sleep talking (OK most likely it is the lack of sleep talking), but I have felt such joy lately.  

There have been several events that could be seen as discouraging but yet each day I manage to get back up again (at an ungodly hour), stare my challenges in the face and say "Bring it!"  

In my new job it is like learning surgery in German (a metaphor I keep using over and over again) ... and here's a secret between you and me ... I absolutely, positively HATE feeling stupid.  I derive a great deal of my confidence and "perceived power" in being smart, capable and dependable.  So to be put in a situation where everything is new, strange and hard to comprehend, it is like mental warfare on the highest level.  

However I am like a rubber band, you can only hold me down so long before I snap back and jump up higher.   (Please, no one look up the symptoms for manic depression - PUH-LEASE, PUH-LEASE!)  

So I am trying to "roll with it" - to embrace my lack of knowledge and applaud the slowly more frequent moments when I am truly getting and understanding "it."

And I am trying to see the situations I am being thrown into as challenges to grab onto and opportunities to shine versus a less positive attitude of "Stop throwing work on me when I am already drowning!"

Attitude for me is like setting your on-board NAV system and pointing your car in the correct direction ... the road might be bumpy, but at least you're starting off on the right foot ... or wheel ... or rickshaw?  

When I recently saw Mary Lambert in concert, I snapped the following picture with my iPhone ...

     
It's a blurry picture and there's a hand in the middle of it ... but if I were going to title this picture I would name it "Joy."  

I actually think in this particular moment Mary Lambert was laughing because the offstage fan kept blowing wisps of hair into her mouth as she tried to sing; but when I look at the picture all I see is JOY.  

No self-consciousness.  No annoyance with the drunken patrons at the back of the club talking much too loudly for a concert where a woman sings about crying on Sundays.  No fear.  No living in the past.  No waiting for tomorrow.  Just a pure expression of happiness and joy in the current moment.  Present.  Focused.  Laughing.  Experiencing.

Joy.

When I look at this picture, I also think of the Omar Khayyam quote: "Be happy for this moment.  This moment is your life."

I am doing some very heavy lifting in my new job - spiritually, emotionally and it's oh so physically tiring.  But it also reminds me how strong I am, how determined, how focused and how resilient.  As Eleanor Roosevelt said "A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water."

Every day I feel pressured, stressed and challenged.  But also every day, I stop and take a moment to feel grateful for the opportunities that have literally fallen at my feet like rose petals.  

I didn't ask to take this new role, but I know many people who would have killed to have had my promotion.  

I don't enjoy feeling dumb and out of the loop, but I appreciate the opportunity to learn and grow.  

I really really wish I could sleep in again as I once used to ... starting my day during "Farmers' Hours" is a hard adjustment.  

But I am proud that I keep doing it day after day, trying to stay positive and focused.

And knowing that these challenges cannot, will not, defeat me; brings me great joy and pride in myself.  Laughing at adversity and rising above it is what helps me feel true joy in every single moment.

And this moment is my life.