Watching Top Chef in Slovakia

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

I thought I had written my last post for 2014, but I guess I had another post in me!

For better or for worse, I try not to stop to think whether something scares me - I just do it.  Because if you allow yourself a moment to let self-doubt and fear into your heart, you may never do what you know you need to do.  I credit my Mother for this.  Growing up poor, you don't have the luxury of kindly demurring when things get rough.  You just have to jump in and hope for the best.

When I was nineteen, I backpacked around Western Europe on a shoestring budget with the woman who is now known as Mrs. BKJ of Minnesota.  To save money on youth hostels, we would occasionally travel by night and sleep on trains.  This made for such adventures as: (1) waking up to find a swarthy pickpocket trying to steal our luggage as the train made a late night stop in Avignon, France; (2) watching a man urinate in the middle of the Rome train station and (3) having "gentleman" after "gentleman" try to con us out of our money or virtue.  But two girls from Minnesota are FARM STRONG! and we made it through the experience unscathed.  

(Fact Checker Alert:  OK OK neither Mrs. BKJ or I lived on a  farm, but my Great-Aunt did have a farm - check out my post as The Strawberry Queen "Pink Was The Color of My Itchy Discontent" here.)

So when I was in Budapest, Hungary for work; I decided to hop a train to Slovakia to check out Bratislava.  Why?  WHY NOT!  

Do I know where Slovakia is on a map?  Nope.  
Do I speak Slovak?  No.  
Do I speak Czech?  No.  
Do I speak Hungarian?  No.  
Do I speak German?  No.  
Have I ever been on a train in Hungary or Slovakia?  No.  
Do I know what currency they use in Slovakia?  Nope.  
Do I know anything about Slovakia?  No.  

These are questions a normal, rational person might ask themselves before starting a train trip between Hungary and Slovakia.  But if you are a regular reader of LilyOnTheLam - you may be aware that I am not a normal, rational person!

My preparation for a trip to Slovakia was 1) checking the train times, 2) checking a map to see where the Budapest train station was, 3) checking to see what currency they use in Slovakia (the Euro!), 4) checking a map to see where the Bratislava train station was and where the "Old Town" area was located and 5) double-checking that US citizens did not need visas to enter Slovakia.  (That last one is kind of important!)

I did look for a Bratislava city guide - but fat chance, neither the internet, online bookstores or Budapest bookstores had anything on Bratislava.  I wondered if Bratislava was a mythical city that did not exist.

I shrugged my shoulders and said a very famous Lily line "I'll figure it out when I get there."

Seriously, if I had stopped to really think about hopping a train and just showing up in a country where I had absolutely no familiarity with the language and except for a short stay in Prague (now Czech Republic) a million years ago, had no clue about Slovak history ... I would have never seen this ...

The interior of the Bratislava Train Station

Don't get me wrong - I'm a big believer in rational thinking, looking before you leap and not dying on a train to a country you have never been to before.  BUT I also strongly subscribe to the James Russell Lowell quote: "FATE LOVES THE FEARLESS."  Sometimes you just have to hop on that train and see where life takes you.  This line of (somewhat warped) thinking has served me well in my life and as I think about my 2015 goals, I know I need to embrace this even more!  

So on a Saturday in November, I loaded up on a highly caloric buffet breakfast at the Sofitel Chain Bridge Hotel in Budapest, Hungary.  Each month, the hotel has a special pastry and this particular month it was "Strudels of the Monarchy" - an array of different flavored fruit strudels at the breakfast buffet.  It will also be the name of my future all-girl, one-cat punk band.  Watch for our album in 2016.  

Judging by a Budapest city map it looked like I could take a long walk and get to the train station, but I am not the finest of cartographers so I took a taxi.  The ride was quick and yet surprisingly expensive.  (I walked home from the train station when I returned, proving that it indeed was walkable in the right shoes.)  

I entered the Budapest train station looking for a ticket booth - but none was to be found.  I was stumped!  I have been on trains all over Europe, parts of Asia and America - where are they hiding the ticket booths??  

Finally against a wall I saw these mini travel agency offices.  One marked domestic and one marked international.  There was a ginormous long line at the domestic travel agency office.  I stood in this line for about three minutes until I realized that Slovakia is not a domestic part of Hungary.  (Not the smartest girl in the world!)  I tried to subtly step out of line without drawing any attention to myself before sprinting over to the international office.

I sat in a chair in front of a glass encased booth inside another glass encased office.  In America, so much is fast-serve, self-serve, automated - you stand in line to get everything.  I must admit I felt very weird getting a train ticket by sitting down in front of the travel agent.  She quickly sold me a 2nd class round-trip ticket for Bratislava good for one month.  

I hopped out of the office with my very old school, slightly Soviet looking, 3 attached pieces of paper ticket and went to find my train!

The 2nd class train compartments had individual compartments with 6 seats each.  The seats were faded and threadbare in spots, but comfortable.

I found an empty compartment, kicked back and pulled out my iPad.  I had two episodes of Bravo TV's "Top Chef: Boston" that were just begging to be watched.

It was a gray cold day, but the scenery between Budapest and Bratislava (about a 2 1/2 hour train ride) was still lovely.

I had an uneventful trip, caught up on my American TV and before I knew it I had arrived in Slovakia.

Bratislava's Hlavna Train Station

I hopped off the train - no apprehension, no self-doubt, no raging fear of Slovaks ... just excitement (and gratitude that it wasn't raining).  I was ready for my Slovakian adventure to begin!

The purpose of writing this blog post was not so much to talk about the trip between Hungary and Slovakia but to talk about the spirit in which the trip was taken.  As we say "goodbye" to the remainder of 2014, I hope everyone who reads this is living their lives to their full potential, hopping trains (literal or metaphorical) to new lands and have hearts full of excitement and gratitude!

P.S.  Long story short - walked 13 miles around Bratislava, had a great day, saw lovely sights in the Old Town of Bratislava, had some bad pierogi, had a good beer, some awesome cake, delicious coffee, found a tiny pamphlet on Bratislava history, bought some souvenirs and then went back to Budapest.  It was an excellent day!  It was definitely a nothing ventured, nothing gained adventure!

Foiled By The Hungarians and Why Michelle Pfeiffer is An Alien

Hello My Wonderful LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

I am back!  I have been in Austria, Hungary and Slovakia - working, eating EVERY pastry in sight and carrying on conversations in part German, part Italian, part French, part Hungarian, part Russian and for some reason really broken English!

Between working and eating, I hopped a train and spent a day in Bratislava.  Being in Central Florida, it takes me a good five hours to leave the state - so watching 2 episodes of Scandal and 1 episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta on my iPad and I go from Budapest to Bratislava?  Sounds pretty good to me!  

By the way, my fellow passengers were intrigued as I watched Nene Leakes preparing for her Cirque Du Soleil Zumanity emcee role in Las Vegas.  I was like "People, Apollo Nida is being sentenced to jail!  I have to watch!  And why are you watching over my shoulder?"  (I could throw in a piece about why did Apollo get 8 years and Joe Giudice of Real Housewives of New Jersey get like half of that ... but I don't want to start a war with any Bravo TV reality fans!)

Anyway, reality TV watching aside ...  I am happy to be back on U.S. soil - and my 900 cats are happy I am home as well.  The first night I slept 10 hours straight without stirring.  I woke up to find myself completely surrounded by cats.  If I had slowly stood up there would have been a perfect body outline of me done in cats.  OH MY GOD:  "CSI: Cats" has been born!  Forensic kittens solving crimes!  Mid-season TV replacement Spring 2015.  Watch for it!

I actually tried to post on my blog from Hungary but my computer kept picking up Google: Magyarorszag (a.k.a. Google Hungary - Hungarians are actually known as Magyars, which I prefer name-wise.  There's something very Genghis Khan about it.)  Anyway Google kept turning my Blogger links into Hungarian and with a belly full of Palinka (Hungarian fruit brandy) and pastry, I just had no patience to be blogging in Hungarian!

So with an almost three week lag, I am BACK to blogging American-style.  No more foreign Googles, googling up my links!  

I have so much to write about - and let's be honest here, I still haven't written much about my LAST trip to Hungary.  Nor my trip to Minnesota before that.  I have been busy, people!  But I needed to "break the ice" and make sure I had some posts for November 2014.  Can't miss an entire month!

So I dedicate this first post back from Europe #2 to the blog Pfeiffer Pfilms and Meg Movies.  I do this because as I received 2 weeks worth of held mail, I had Entertainment Weekly's Reunion issue and this picture was inside ...

From Entertainment Weekly

A reunion photo for the cast of the movie The Fabulous Baker Boys - Beau and Jeff Bridges and of course Michelle Pfeiffer.  I dropped the magazine and said out loud to my 900 cats: "Good lord, how does Michelle Pfeiffer still look so good?  She has to be like 80 now.  What the hell?"  (OK she's 56 years old, but jeez she doesn't look it at all.  Is she killing young virgins and bathing in their blood?  Impressive!)

Which looking at the picture reminds me of the one and only time I have ever met Michelle Pfeiffer.  And by "meet" I mean sat 3 rows ahead of her at Baz Luhrmann's "La Boheme" on Broadway.  I was discreetly posting Facebook status updates before the show began when I kept noticing patrons popping up like Prairie Dogs with excited looks on their faces.  (Don't ask me why I capitalized prairie dog - it just seemed appropriate.)

Finally after the 800th Prairie Dog popped up, I turned around to see what everyone was staring at.  Three rows behind me (6th row) were Steven Spielberg and his wife Kate Capshaw, Bruce Springsteen and his wife Patty and David E. Kelley and his wife ... Michelle Pfeiffer - who had slunked down in her seat and was hiding behind her program.  (My spell check says slunked is not a word - well it is now.)

Now I loves me some Michelle Pfeiffer, but I wanted to say "Honey, you're sitting next to Bruce Springsteen and Steven Spielberg - there's no need to hide behind your program!  Not all of the eyes are on you!"  (Which by the way, Bruce Springsteen was standing up without a care in the world.  He might as well have held a sign that said "Hey, I'm Bruce.")  

But I have to say in Entertainment Weekly's reunion photo for The Fabulous Baker Boys - definitely all eyes are on Michelle ... just like they were for the movie (in my opinion!)  So maybe hiding behind her Playbill program keeps wrinkles from forming on her face.  Whatever you're doing Michelle, just keep doing it!  (Young virgins, beware!)

With winter approaching, it has actually become quite chilly in Tampa.  I am nursing two blisters on my right foot that I received from wearing super cute tall boots for 12 miles as I tromped around Slovakia.  (Yes, I sacrifice my feet for fashion.  I'm female!)  

And it rained yesterday in Tampa, so instead of going for a long walk to burn off all the European pastry calories-- I headed to the Casino and won $144 on The Walking Dead slots.  (I gave part to the Salvation Army, part to Publix's Thanksgiving feeding people in need campaign and I kept some of the winnings for myself because hey, I'm not a saint!)  

As I inhaled cartons' worth of second hand smoke in the casino, I felt like the klassiest dame in the joint!  Oh gambling and people in stretched out polyester, so glamourous!

Before I went on my latest European odyssey - I ran into a friend of a friend who was with some other people.  I was talking about my European and Asian work trips and one of the people I did not know looked at me and said, without sarcasm or bitchiness: "You are amazing and have a fascinating life!"  

As I try not to pop my blisters and am surrounded by snoozing, content cats; I laugh and say - "Yes, I am amazing and have a fascinating life!"

Thank you for stopping by, my amazing readers!

It's International Pig Week! Be A Friend of Ham in Budapest!

Happy Monday, LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

I was watching TV the other day and the announcer said that it was "National Pumpkin Cheesecake Day."  This took me by surprise.  It was not in my calendar and I had spent the entire day without anyone wishing me a Happy National Pumpkin Cheesecake Day.  And just learning this fact at 11 p.m. was also disconcerting - where the heck was I going to get a pumpkin cheesecake in the next sixty minutes?  I felt like I missed out on the festivities!  

Who decides these "National" food holidays anyway?  Is there a committee?  Is it like the triumvirate of witches on American Horror Story: Coven?  Are there secret meetings where everyone wears a hooded robe and they throw darts at a board to determine that Tuesday will be National Foie Gras Day?  

Hopefully the Secret Society of National Food Holiday Namers will not come after me with pitchforks and darts when they hear that I am announcing that it is INTERNATIONAL PIG WEEK on LilyOnTheLam.Com!  Yes, I am going rogue and declaring this week of Monday, October 27, 2014 - Friday, October 31, 2014 on LilyOnTheLam.com to be filled with Porcine-themed blog posts.  I am drunk with power and no one can stop me!

In honor of the FIRST blog post of International Pig Week, I take you to the hauntingly beautiful streets of Budapest, Hungary.

I love Budapest.  It is like Austria by way of Moscow.  The old world European culture cut with a dash of Communist regime.  As we get further and further from the fall of Communism in Hungary, I suspect in maybe another 10 years you may not even feel the traces of the former life under Communist rule.  But for now it is an interesting mix.  

I was walking around Budapest, about a block in from the gorgeous Danube.  I had been woefully behind in my Million Step Challenge (10,000 steps a day for 100 days) and was grateful for this work trip to Budapest where I was averaging 10 miles a day of walking before the actual work started.  When I stumbled upon this sign at a restaurant behind the Danube facing Budapest Marriott Hotel.

Divin Porcello - FRIENDS OF HAM with a cute little pig silhouette with a curly tail.  WHAT?  I want to be a friend of ham!  

Later back in my hotel, resting my tired feet, I looked up the reviews of Divin Porcello.  Evidently there were a lot of friends of ham and they all loved Divin Porcello!  I was determined to join the club!

So when my one of my staff from the UK said "Where should we do dinner tonight?"  I screamed out "DIVIN PORCELLO - FRIENDS OF HAM!" in an overly enthusiastic voice that probably shattered any managerial credibility I may have once had.  Sigh ... we're talking about pork here- it's hard to stifle my enthusiasm.

I did a fantastic food tour with the amazing food and wine tour company Taste Hungary when I was in Budapest.  Our tour guide said that when the Turks ruled Hungary, the Hungarians' diet included a lot of pork because that was the only food supply that the Muslim Turks would not take from the Hungarians.  Even though the Turkish occupation ended in 1699, you can still see the heavy pork-based diet in menus in the city.  

In fact, Hungary has made it a mission to revive the once rare Grey Cattle and the hairy Mangalitsa Pig and elevate them to high gourmet foodie-loving popularity.  I had my first taste of Mangalitsa pig at a local Tampa restaurant who did an awful job of it.  When I went to Budapest, I had a "steak" of Mangalitsa pig that was stuffed with ham (Pork stuffed with pork!), cheese and onions and it was AMAZING.  I'm glad I gave it a second chance.  Darn you, Tampa restaurant for spoiling my first try of Mangalitsa pork!  

(Side note:  The pig is actually called a Mangalica but you pronounce it Mangalitsa, so the Americans said "screw it" and spell it phonetically.  So if you're looking for this delicious gourmet pork in Hungary, look for the Mangalica.)  

With pork on my mind, I dragged my UK team member to Divin Porcello.  I had very high expectations.  The restaurant didn't bill itself as "Casual Acquaintances of Ham" or "Former School Chums of Ham;" it said FRIENDS of Ham.  

Upon walking in, I was already impressed.  Although the restaurant was relatively new it was designed like an old school wine cave but with modern art work.  Plus the restaurant had little rooms adjoining each other so you could have a lot of people dining but still have a small cozy feel in each room.  I loved the crisp, clean, modern decor in an old world feel setting.

The menu arrived - attached to a mini cutting board- and we were overwhelmed with all the great choices.

There were ham and wine from various geographic locations as well as salads and entrees.  We were given a free bruschetta starter.

  
As I have learned in Spain and Italy, you can do a lot with just tomato and bread.  The Divin Porcello's starter was in line with the great European tradition of making something amazing out of simple ingredients.  The fine bread had a nice crunch and the smooth olive oil and tomato had so much flavor.  It was a promising first start for a Friend of Ham!

Next came a loaf of bread in a cute little paper bag.

Again taking something so simple - a folded over paper bag - and yet it was so cute!  The bread inside was amazing too.  I usually try to stay away from the bread course as my diet is too carb-laden as it is, but this bread was worth the extra starch and calories!

As I had made it my mission to try gulyas (a.k.a. goulash) in as many places as possible, I started with DiVin Porcello's gulyas.

It arrived in a Friends of Ham cup that I wanted to steal.  ("Is that a goulash cup in your purse or are you just happy to see me?")  The gulyas was hot and peppery with melt in your mouth bits of beef and vegetables.  It was very good.

My UK dining companion started with the foie gras.  As I was still trying to maintain some managerial composure, I did not shove my iPhone into her food and take a picture like I do with my friends when we dine out.  So sadly I have no picture of the foie gras, but Mrs. UK said that it was amazing.  The French may never tell you this, but Hungary is known for their foie gras.  In fact, Hungary is the second largest producer of foie gras in the world and the largest exporter of it.  If you do not have an ethical issues regarding foie gras, you must try Hungarian foie gras because it is really top notch.

I had already been in Budapest for six days before Mrs. UK and I had dinner.  I admitted that I had barely eaten any vegetables and my body was revolting from the veal porkolt (stew) and sheep's curd noodle diet I had been feasting on for days.  I decided to go for a salad, but of course being from the Midwestern United States originally; the salad had to have cheese on it.  I picked this lovely Burrata salad.  (Side note: my favorite place to get house made burrata in Tampa Bay is Cafe Ponte in Clearwater.  It is overwhelmingly good.) 

This salad of apples, vegetables, fresh bell peppers and a creamy luscious orb of burrata cheese on top was to the moon fantastic.  My body thanked me for forgoing veal for one night in Budapest!

But you can't be a Friend of Ham without indulging in some ham, so I had this delicious buttery prosciutto with Divin Porcello's fantastic bread.  You can see a bit of Mrs. UK's steak in the background of the picture.  She felt like she was missing out on the pork by having foie gras and beef, but I said maybe she was being a Friend of Ham by not eating the pork!

We had a lovely Hungarian Pinot Noir with our dinner.  I have to say that Hungary has come a long way in a short time to restore a more artisanal methodology to their wine-making.  When Communism came into power in Hungary, the wine business was changed from quality to quantity.  Mass production of cheap, less flavorful wines was the only way to make wine under the Communist rule.  After the fall of Communism in Hungary, the wine producers went back to their former ways of producing smaller batch, higher quality wine.  The fruits of their labor are now readily tasted in the fine Hungarian wines being produced.

After our wonderful meal in the cozy Divin Porcello, Mrs. UK and I went for a walk along the Danube.  With pork in my belly, a song in my heart and the gorgeous bridges of the Danube as my backdrop; I can't think of a more perfect way to spend a night in Budapest.  

Stay tuned to LilyOnTheLam.Com as International Pig Week continues!

Austria vs. Croatia: The Chocolate Banana Candy Bar Battle Continues

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

In true LilyOnTheLam style, I have been on the lam to various parts of the world recently - and have been quite amiss at blogging about it.  Although I have been journaling, so the thought is that eventually (emphasis on eventually) I will be able to share my adventures in various humorous blog posts ... or at least that's the hope!

I was in Houston, visiting the Museum of Funeral History (Yes, that is a real place!) and dining at a restaurant called the BRC Gastropub (BRC stands for "Big Red Cock" naturally!)  

I was in New York City, partaking in my THIRD viewing of "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" on Broadway - but this time starring Andrew Rannells instead of Neil Patrick Harris.  

And now I have left America behind and meandered my way over to Budapest.  Because why not? 

Since my body still has not adjusted to the time zone change (it is 4:43 a.m. Budapest time as I write this), I thought I'd give you a sneak peak into some of my Budapest product finds.  So yes, I am declaring "New Product Wednesday" on a Monday (US Time), Tuesday (Budapest Time)!  How's that for screwing up one's calendar?

My last blog post was on a Croatian chocolate banana candy bar I discovered at a relatively new Polish deli in Largo, Florida.  Although I salute having a Polish deli in Largo, Florida; I found the banana chocolate Croatian candy bar to be lacking.  (Extremely lacking!)  Do Croatians make good candy?  If they do, I hope it is better than what I tried.  (Read my Croatian candy bar post here.)

I was in a mini mart near my hotel in Budapest, stocking up on bottled water and random snacks when I spotted this candy bar ...

THE BIG BANANA.  How can anyone say "no" to a candy bar named THE BIG BANANA?  I certainly am not made of steel or diamonds or any other ridiculously hard, impervious material that would make me turn a blind eye to THE BIG BANANA.  

Bam, it went straight into my shopping basket.  I rationalized/justified that since the last LilyOnTheLam post had been about a Croatian chocolate banana candy bar; this was fate telling me I had at least one more chocolate banana candy bar themed blog post in me!  

Side note:  I'd rather fate give me some winning mega millions lottery numbers than throw another chocolate banana European candy bar in my path ... just throwing that message out there, universe.  I hope you're listening, fate!

Just like when I found a candy bar in a Polish deli, I first assumed the candy bar was Polish (wrong: Croatian).  I thought this candy bar from a Hungarian mini mart was Hungarian.  Wrong.  Austrian.  

On a side note, I have been starting to think random thoughts in German.  Which is bizarre because I don't speak German.  This morning I looked at a table filled with pitchers of various juices and thought "I wonder what kind of saft is in this pitcher?"  Saft is the German word for juice.  

Then after I ate, I thought "that was a pretty good fruhstuck (breakfast)" (which by the way, I can't figure out how to add the umlaut, dots over the U's, so just imagine they are there).  I have no clue why I am starting to think in German words in Hungary, other than some sort of misplaced nod to the prior Austro-Hungarian empire?  Perhaps I spoke Deutsch in a past life?  Or perhaps I am having some sort of seizure/stroke?  Anything is possible!

Or maybe eating an Austrian candy bar has somehow imparted the Austrian national language of German into my head?  Hmm ... it's a puzzle, I tell you!

But enough about my linguistical weirdness and on to a review of the aforementioned schokoriegel (candy bar).  The "Big Banana" is everything I had wanted the Croatian Chocolate Banana candy bar to be.  It had a soft, creamy center with a rich, non-artificial tasting banana flavor and a rich, smooth chocolate coating.  It was actually a little too sweet, but it tasted very natural unlike the whipped air chemical taste of the Croatian treat.

Because I am a big nerd, I actually had this epiphany moment as I ate "The Big Banana" and thought "Austrians have perfected what the Croatians were attempting!"  Which is probably a compliment to Austria and an insult to Croatia ... and I am probably being diplomatically insensitive ... sorry Croatia!

So if you have to choose one chocolate banana candy bar and your choices are between a Croatian candy bar and an Austrian candy bar; sorry Croatia I am going to have to advocate that my readers go with THE BIG BANANA - which I can only assume is the National Chocolate Banana Candy Bar of Austria.  And if it's not, it should be.  Nice work, Austria!

Stay tuned to LilyOnTheLam for more adventures, product reviews and language brain seizures ...  Thanks for reading!