Thanks a lot, Sheraton!

On a business trip outside of Baltimore, I stayed at one of the Sheratons in the area.  I have stayed at this hotel before and find it pretty comfortable plus they have a nice breakfast buffet with an egg station.  I loves me a good egg station.  The rest of my business team was arriving later in the day, so I went to the hotel restaurant by myself for breakfast.  I do not have a problem eating by myself - my own independent spirit combined with an insane business travel schedule makes me fairly OK with being my only dining companion.  The waitress-- a starched vest wearing, gray pompadour sporting older woman - asked: "And who will be joining you?"  I said "It's just me."  She replied "Oh, so no body loves you" and she squeezed my arm in some sort of mock sympathy.


Seriously?  I didn't realize I ordered a side of shame and pity with my eggs!  Thanks a lot, Sheraton!  What a great way to start the day!  And she added a 15% tip to the check, even though the receipt clearly states that tip is only added for parties of 5 or more.  I thought about protesting the mandatory 15%.  When I was in grad school, I dated a Marine and his favorite saying was "Is this the hill you want to die on?" when contemplating whether he should make a big deal out of something.  Well I didn't want to die on gray pompadour butch waitress hill, so I just let the 15% go.


There is something about me that makes waitstaff want to touch me.  It is a bit of a joke among my close friends.  Whenever we go out to dinner, they watch to see how long before the waiter/waitress squeezes my arm, my shoulder or rubs my back.  Strangers like to touch me for some reason.  I find it disconcerting but am somewhat used to it by now.  But at least normally waitstaff don't accompany the squeeze/rub/pat with a statement that no one loves me!  I am hoping this is not the new trend. 


The evening desk clerk at the Sheraton was a very nice man with a fun personality and very courteous demeanor, so what the Columbia, MD Sheraton lacks in restaurant waitstaff etiquette their night desk staff makes up for it. 

Destination: Baltimore, MD

I watched a man get a pat down from the TSA as I stood in the very slow moving security check line at the airport.  I rarely get pulled out of line for the full body scan - and haven't been subjected to it since the whole "Don't touch my junk" debacle reared its ugly head.  While I don't necessarily relish anyone seeing an invasive body scan (especially after all the holiday sweets I have gobbled up!), I don't get on the soapbox screaming about my liberty in peril. 

Perhaps these thoughts of liberty and junk and pat downs kept me so preoccupied that I didn't realize my car keys were in my pants pocket.  I walked through the metal detector with no problem and no beeping.  It wasn't until I was re-packing my lap top and putting my shoes back on that I realized the big wad of metal in my pocket had somehow gone undetected.  Had the extra holiday pounds somehow created a flesh shield in which metal could no longer be detected? 

I'm always torn when things like this happen with the TSA.  Like when my computer bag went through the X-ray with a one liter bottle of water in it without being stopped.  Part of me wants to go back and say "Hey TSA screener, wake up!"  But the other part of me feels like I got away with something ... a secret thrill.  Or maybe it's just the cosmos' way of making up for the time when the TSA screener confiscated my half-full 4 ounce bottle of lotion because it was one ounce over the 3 ounce allowance.  Or as some sort of cosmic apology for when some airports scream at me to put my shoes on the belt and other airports scream at me to put my shoes in the bin.  Make up your mind already people, I fly too much to deal with all your nonsense!

My latest destination for Lily on the Lam is Baltimore, Maryland.  I'd like to say I had a late dinner in a quaint bistro that reminds me why Baltimore is a colorful melting pot of history.  But nope - I had a burger from room service.  It was pretty darn tasty, though.  And the room has complimentary Starbucks coffee and Tazo teas - extra points for that. So way to go, Baltimore!  I'm Lily on the Lam with a belly full of red meat and quality beverages at my disposal.  Overall, not a bad way to start a trip in a new city.