New Product Wednesday on a Thursday: Tajin Clasico Seasoning

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

As it is a shortened holiday week in the United States, I am all screwed up on my days and as such I am doing my "New Product Review Wednesday" (products that are new or new to me) on a Thursday!  It's just CRAZY land, here at LilyOnTheLam!

Growing up glued to the television set, I am particularly susceptible to advertising of any kind.  On my Instagram account, one of the people I follow I swear is some sort of paid or unpaid brand ambassador for Tajin Clasico Seasoning.  Every day she would post a picture of whatever fruit she was eating that day, sprinkled lovingly with Tajin.  And each day, I would drool a little more.

I had no idea what Tajin Clasico Seasoning was, but I HAD TO HAVE IT.

A quick search on the internet explained that Tajin is a mix of dried chili peppers, sea salt and dehydrated lime juice.  It's supposed to add a spicy, citrus salt kick to fruit and other food stuffs.

In case Tajin needs a "Spokescat,"
Mr. Rufus T. "Chibby" Chibs
is on standby 

Now I am not actively seeking new ways to introduce salt into my diet ...

Hypocrisy check side note:  OK OK I will admit that at my last dinner party, I served vodka marinated grape tomatoes with four dipping salts - truffle, alderwood smoked, chipotle and black Hawaiian lava salt.  And these 24 hour vodka soaked drunken tomatoes with festive salt pairings were the HIT of the party.  Especially since I served them with 
Fred and Friends LIP SERVICE Mustache Toothpicks (which can be found at my Amazon Affiliate link).  

But in general, I am not trying to add more salt into my diet.  But the Instagram Tajin Lover's daily pictures were more than I could stand!  I went on to Amazon.com and found a ten pack of mini "purse-size" bottles of Tajin Clasico Seasoning.     

This Amazon affiliate link is actually for a 2 pack of 10 minis to go, so I assume that is 20 little bottles!  Tajin Seasoning with Lime 10 Minis to Go, 10/.35 Oz. Bottles (2 pack)

Did I need TEN mini bottles?  No, but they didn't sell them in packs of one.   

So yes, I had become THAT woman who carries condiments in her purse.  As if being an elderly, spinster cat lady wasn't appealing enough!  And if the product didn't taste good, well I knew what I would be handing out to the neighborhood kids at Halloween.  (Ohhh my reputation gets worse and worse!)

My tiny little bottles of pepper-lime-salt seasoning arrived from Amazon and after taking a few minutes to pretend I was a giant, I tried the Tajin on fresh cut watermelon.

Oooof I am in trouble because this stuff is TASTY on fruit!  Citrusy, spicy with a punch of salt - on fresh, cold, perfectly ripe and sweet watermelon ... it is my new snack obsession.  I try not to overdo it with the Tajin - as I said, I am not trying to invent new ways to add salt into my diet - but wow, is it good!  

If you're looking for some zip to your fresh fruit or other food items, check out Tajin Clasico Seasoning.  It's delicious!

P.S.  I have added Amazon Affiliate links to some of my blog posts.  If you like LilyOnTheLam and want to try some of the products I mention, please try them through my Amazon Affiliate links program to help me continue running LilyOnTheLam.  Thank you!

Oh The Crazy Excess! (Review of Ben and Jerry's Peanut Buttah Cookie Core Ice Cream)

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

Every now and again, you need to "Treat Yo' Self" to something great.  I usually do "new product reviews" (products that are new or new to me) on Wednesdays, but in the "Treat Yo' Self" theme I am switching it up to a Tuesday!  

I had an absolutely fun weekend with belly dancing, Persian food, pool parties, watching the sunset on the Intercostal and lunch from a British double-decker bus food truck.  But how do you top a weekend of fun activities?  I was relaxing in the air-conditioning when I spied an advertisement for what seemed like heaven sent nirvana OR gluttony fat fat shame in a bucket - depending how you look at it.

The advertisement was for Ben and Jerry's Peanut Buttah Cookie Core Ice Cream.

Peanut butter ice cream with crunchy peanut butter sugar bits, peanut butter cookies and a peanut butter cookie core.  

I was so intrigued by this advertisement that I literally jumped out of my chair and went to the store.  (Btw, thank you Ben and Jerry's website for having a locator showing which stores sell which flavors.  Technology is fabulous!)

Now to really savor the moment of this peanut laden ice cream, I had to set the mood.  And in my case, setting the mood means watching "RuPaul's Drag Race" while wearing my Team Bianca Del Rio "Really Queen?" tank top.  My inner drag queen-loving gay man loves his ice cream!

At first glance, I notice that this Ben and Jerry's ice cream has the most calories per serving than any other B&J's ice cream I have ever eaten - 320 calories.  And come on, how many of us actually only eat "one half cup serving" of Ben and Jerry's?  Evidently the "peanut buttah" is going to make people's butts expand exponentially. 

The peanut butter ice cream is very rich and decadent.  The "peanut butter sugar bits" were awesome and I wish there were more.  The "peanut butter cookie core" was a bit of a misnomer.  It reminded me more of peanut butter fudge versus a peanut butter cookie.  Back in grade school we made this deadly peanut butter fudge - if I recall the ingredients were powdered sugar, corn syrup and peanut butter.  I seriously have no clue why I didn't die of a diabetic coma from that PB fudge!

The one "off note" on this decadent ice cream is the "peanut butter cookie chunks."  They had absolutely no flavor whatsoever.  They could have been shortbread for all I knew.  (Which by the way Ben and Jerry's, I miss Cool Britannia ice cream and Pink Lemonade Sorbet - BRING THEM BACK!  Cool Britannia was vanilla ice cream with strawberries and fudge covered shortbread.  HEAVEN!)

This ice cream was very very rich and very very sweet.  If you are worried about portion control, perhaps this is the right Ben and Jerry's for you because I couldn't imagine eating a ton of this ultra rich ice cream in one sitting.

If you're having major peanut cravings, check out this ice cream.  But I think I would have been just as content eating a scoop of vanilla with some crushed honey roasted peanuts on top!

Have you tried any of Ben and Jerry's new cookie core ice creams?  Tell me what you thought of them in the comments section below!

    

Put A Cork In It: International Pig Week Continues

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

Happy National Cat Day!  Had I known before today that it was National Cat Day, I may have actually named this International Cat Week ... but nope instead it is DAY THREE of my self-proclaimed International Pig Week here at LilyOnTheLam.  

If you have been keeping up with the Porcine-themed posts, you will know that Day One was a restaurant review of the Divin Porcello in Budapest, Hungary and Day Two was a restaurant review of The Thirsty Pig in Portland, Maine.  

For Day Three, we are going back to traditional LilyOnTheLam posting with a "New Product Wednesday" - product reviews on products that are new or new to me.  But in keeping with the International Pig Week theme, I am reviewing:  Corkers Pork Sausage and English Mustard flavoured (or in the US- flavored) potato crisps (or in the US- potato chips).  

In my subscription box trial-mania, I recently checked out Escape Monthly's "vacation in a box."  I find these boxes to be a super cool idea - you get a guide book and items from the country you are "virtually visiting."  This month's box is London.  I received a cute British toy car, an elegant tin of tea and several other Brit items including these CORKERS.

Although I must admit that so far I have already traveled to every place that Escape Monthly has sent me boxes on - Paris, Puerto Rico and now London.  Next month's box is Hawaii - a place I love and have been to many times.  So instead of "Escape Monthly," I have been calling them "Travel Memory Box."  Which is probably a better title than "Places Lily Has Already Been Box."

I must have an Irish soul resting in me because when I looked at this package of chips (a.k.a. crisps) from the Escape Monthly box, I thought "Isn't a corker like a weirdo?"  I looked it up in UrbanDictionary and sure enough, in Irish slang it is.  

Now before you say "You are what you eat, Lily you weirdo;' I have to say "Hey, don't call me a weirdo."  ;-)

I will admit that I am not one to shy away from non-American flavored snack foods.  My sister Squidge and I tried Frito Lay's India Magic Masala potato chips when we were in Delhi.  (Verdict: pretty tasty!)  

I also tried peanut-flavored Cheetos when I was in Moscow.  (Verdict:  Why does God hate me with these awful tasting Cheetos?)  

I even tried soft shell crab Pringles in Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia.  (Verdict:  "These taste like crab butt."  To which my male Brazilian co-worker said: "How do you know what a crab's butt tastes like?"  Ahem.  No comment.)   

But even with my "gastronomical tourism" through snack foods around the world, my stomach wasn't sure if it was up for pork sausage and mustard flavored (or flavoured) potato chips.  I had had a particularly naughty weekend of eating a lot of junk food and my stomach was screaming for some fruit and vegetables that had not been deep-fried.  Sorry stomach, not today.  

I'm not sure why I was so wary.  I am a big fan of things cooked in animal fat.  It even says so on my curriculum vitae.  "Lily - friend of things fried in animal fat since 1734."  

Duck fat fries?  Yes, please.  Hash browns cooked in bacon grease?  Bring it on, baby.  Yorkshire pudding?  Cheerio and yes, yes!

But perhaps my wariness stems from the sad experience that generally food that is made to taste like other types of food can usually end up tasting only like chemicals.  

If these were homemade potato chips cooked in sausage fat and drizzled with mustard, I think I'd be more onboard.  But these are packaged crisps (a.k.a. chips) with a dusting of some sort of seasoning.  And maybe that seasoning tastes like pork sausage and mustard or maybe it tastes like soft shell crab butt.  Were my taste buds and stomach really wanting to get onboard this train?

Since it is International Pig Week and it is New Product Wednesday, I decided that this was no time for my stomach to wuss out.  So I tried the CORKERS ...

And ...

They tasted like pork sausage and mustard.

Not like a chemical, artificial version of a semblance of pork sausage and mustard, but they really did taste like pork sausage and mustard.

The question now becomes ... do I want potato chips that taste like pork sausage and mustard?

Ehhh ... I prefer a good old regular potato chip.  

Who knew that International Pig Week would be the defining point of my potato chip eating lifetime?  I've learned something new about myself!  

The Corkers were not bad, they were just not my taste.  Maybe one day I will be sitting on the couch, watching The Walking Dead on AMC and I will suddenly want a pork sausage flavored potato chip.  But so far that has not happened.

HOWEVER ... if you are craving a potato chip that tastes like pork sausage and mustard, this is the chip for you!

I have since learned that Corkers also makes a sea salt and cider vinegar flavor.  Now I have had salt and malted vinegar, but cider vinegar chips?  I am intrigued!  

They also make a red Leicester (like a cheddar cheese) and caramelized onion flavor as well as a Sweet Thai Chili flavor chip.  Traveling around Australia, I learned I am quite fond of Sweet Thai Chili flavored snack products.  Oh Corkers, you may make a convert out of me yet!  

(Sadly their website only ships Corkers to UK addresses - which is a reason to make friends with people in the UK.  I am quite content knowing I have at least ten people who I could hit up for an international potato crisp delivery if I ever had the urge!)

Tell me what your favorite potato chip flavor is in the comments section below!

Stay tuned tomorrow for the next International Pig Week blog post!  

And Now For The Contestant From Brazil!

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

If you are a regular reader, you may remember my post on the chocolate banana candy bar from Croatia which I found in a Polish deli in Largo, Florida and then my subsequent discovery in Budapest, Hungary of an Austrian chocolate banana candy bar.  Although I usually do my "new product reviews" on Wednesdays, I just had to post this a day early!

On Monday, I opened my front door and there was a box with three weeks of mail waiting for me.  Since I have been traveling the world, the good people at the USPS have been holding my mail for me.  

Note to self: pre-election time is a terrible time to have your mail held.  I swear half of my accumulated three weeks worth of mail was election flyers.  What a waste of paper, ink and money.  I'm glad the USPS has the business but every political campaign propaganda material went straight into the recycling bin without me reading a word.

A much brighter item in my mail hold box was my monthly subscription box from Love with Food - the snack box subscription service that donates meals to children for each snack box purchased.  

Now I must add a P.S. that for the past ten years, I have donated money (and every now and again my volunteer time) to local Florida charity Metropolitan Ministries.  I do believe that giving directly to the charity makes a greater impact than purchasing a snack box who then in turns buys a meal for a hungry child.  BUT if you're going to have a subscription to a snack box service, why not have one that has really amazing snacks AND helps feed hungry children?  

Love with Food and Nature Box are my two favorite snack box subscription services.  (With OishiiBox and Skoshbox being my favorite Asian candy monthly subscription services.)   

Another side note, I blame my new box of the month subscription addiction on my friend The First Lady of Lynchburg.  I went to visit her for Memorial Day weekend and she had all these different fun box of the month subscription boxes waiting for her.  For a new product lover like me, it was like materialistic nirvana!

I eagerly opened my Love with Food subscription box and then I gasped.  What is this?  A BRAZILIAN BANANA BAR!  Had my chocolate banana candy bar competition jumped to a new continent?  I scanned the package and then opened it.  Ahhh no, not a candy bar and not chocolate.  It was a cinnamon and sugar banana bar.  Sort of like a Lara bar but much better.  It's bananas, cinnamon and sugar blended into a soft delicious bar.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the Cinnamon and Sugar Banana Bananinha Bar from Nutryvitta ... 

While the Bananinha bar does not have chocolate in it, I would take it over the Austrian and Croatian banana chocolate bars I reviewed earlier because it tasted so good.  This is a gluten free fruit bar that doesn't taste overly processed or artificial.

If you're looking for a portable, gluten free snack bar with a real taste of banana; I would recommend you check out this fancy little Brazilian import.  You can buy them through the Love with Food website.  (Side note:  I receive no compensation in goods, services or money for writing about Love with Food and their box products.  But I'll gladly take any freebies if they want to send me some!)

Sorry Austria and Croatia, so far in the battle of the banana bars - Brazil/Brasil has beaten you!

P.S. One side effect of the Bananinha bar is that for some reason the name "Bananinha" reminds me of the Muppets doing the Mahna Mahna song ... and so now after eating the banana bar, I keep hearing this in my head ...

Austria vs. Croatia: The Chocolate Banana Candy Bar Battle Continues

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

In true LilyOnTheLam style, I have been on the lam to various parts of the world recently - and have been quite amiss at blogging about it.  Although I have been journaling, so the thought is that eventually (emphasis on eventually) I will be able to share my adventures in various humorous blog posts ... or at least that's the hope!

I was in Houston, visiting the Museum of Funeral History (Yes, that is a real place!) and dining at a restaurant called the BRC Gastropub (BRC stands for "Big Red Cock" naturally!)  

I was in New York City, partaking in my THIRD viewing of "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" on Broadway - but this time starring Andrew Rannells instead of Neil Patrick Harris.  

And now I have left America behind and meandered my way over to Budapest.  Because why not? 

Since my body still has not adjusted to the time zone change (it is 4:43 a.m. Budapest time as I write this), I thought I'd give you a sneak peak into some of my Budapest product finds.  So yes, I am declaring "New Product Wednesday" on a Monday (US Time), Tuesday (Budapest Time)!  How's that for screwing up one's calendar?

My last blog post was on a Croatian chocolate banana candy bar I discovered at a relatively new Polish deli in Largo, Florida.  Although I salute having a Polish deli in Largo, Florida; I found the banana chocolate Croatian candy bar to be lacking.  (Extremely lacking!)  Do Croatians make good candy?  If they do, I hope it is better than what I tried.  (Read my Croatian candy bar post here.)

I was in a mini mart near my hotel in Budapest, stocking up on bottled water and random snacks when I spotted this candy bar ...

THE BIG BANANA.  How can anyone say "no" to a candy bar named THE BIG BANANA?  I certainly am not made of steel or diamonds or any other ridiculously hard, impervious material that would make me turn a blind eye to THE BIG BANANA.  

Bam, it went straight into my shopping basket.  I rationalized/justified that since the last LilyOnTheLam post had been about a Croatian chocolate banana candy bar; this was fate telling me I had at least one more chocolate banana candy bar themed blog post in me!  

Side note:  I'd rather fate give me some winning mega millions lottery numbers than throw another chocolate banana European candy bar in my path ... just throwing that message out there, universe.  I hope you're listening, fate!

Just like when I found a candy bar in a Polish deli, I first assumed the candy bar was Polish (wrong: Croatian).  I thought this candy bar from a Hungarian mini mart was Hungarian.  Wrong.  Austrian.  

On a side note, I have been starting to think random thoughts in German.  Which is bizarre because I don't speak German.  This morning I looked at a table filled with pitchers of various juices and thought "I wonder what kind of saft is in this pitcher?"  Saft is the German word for juice.  

Then after I ate, I thought "that was a pretty good fruhstuck (breakfast)" (which by the way, I can't figure out how to add the umlaut, dots over the U's, so just imagine they are there).  I have no clue why I am starting to think in German words in Hungary, other than some sort of misplaced nod to the prior Austro-Hungarian empire?  Perhaps I spoke Deutsch in a past life?  Or perhaps I am having some sort of seizure/stroke?  Anything is possible!

Or maybe eating an Austrian candy bar has somehow imparted the Austrian national language of German into my head?  Hmm ... it's a puzzle, I tell you!

But enough about my linguistical weirdness and on to a review of the aforementioned schokoriegel (candy bar).  The "Big Banana" is everything I had wanted the Croatian Chocolate Banana candy bar to be.  It had a soft, creamy center with a rich, non-artificial tasting banana flavor and a rich, smooth chocolate coating.  It was actually a little too sweet, but it tasted very natural unlike the whipped air chemical taste of the Croatian treat.

Because I am a big nerd, I actually had this epiphany moment as I ate "The Big Banana" and thought "Austrians have perfected what the Croatians were attempting!"  Which is probably a compliment to Austria and an insult to Croatia ... and I am probably being diplomatically insensitive ... sorry Croatia!

So if you have to choose one chocolate banana candy bar and your choices are between a Croatian candy bar and an Austrian candy bar; sorry Croatia I am going to have to advocate that my readers go with THE BIG BANANA - which I can only assume is the National Chocolate Banana Candy Bar of Austria.  And if it's not, it should be.  Nice work, Austria!

Stay tuned to LilyOnTheLam for more adventures, product reviews and language brain seizures ...  Thanks for reading!      

Are The Croatians Known For Their Candy? Sikorski Deli and Fish Market Largo Florida

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

I have lived in Florida for ten years.  I think when you have lived in one place for a decent amount of time, you need to work a little harder to find new places.  It's really easy to fall into a rut and just go to the places you know you can depend on and enjoy, but where is the sense of adventure in that?  

One day I was driving to the beach, when I passed by a large sign for "Sikorski Deli and Fish Market."  Ethnically, I am half Polish - so a Polish deli along the road in Largo, Florida definitely caught my eye.  Plus my Mother always loved visiting fish markets, so the sign brought back some childhood nostalgia.  I decided to stop and check it out.

It is a decent size deli with an eating area/mini restaurant to the side.  There were large banners for pierogis decorating the eating area.  Up until now, I had only had pierogis in Tampa Bay at my beloved Pierogi Grill.  I was intrigued that I might have a new pierogi source.

I walked around the couple aisles of Polish and other Eastern European food products.  I was so excited to see the brands that I have rarely seen outside of Europe or New York City, right here in good old Tampa Bay.  The deli counter had a variety of meats and whole smoked fish.  I wish my Mother lived close by, I would have brought her one.  The lady loves smoked fish!

There were about six people in the deli when I was there - staff and customers.  They were all speaking Polish.  To myself I said wryly "Thanks a lot Grandma for never teaching me any Polish!"  But in my heart, I was really excited to have this very rich slice of Poland in my Floridian backyard.  On my bucket list is to travel to Poland, so I hope one day I can make it happen.  

I went to the deli counter and asked about ordering the pierogis that were advertised, but not to be found.  The woman behind the counter said you had to order them in advance.  I asked how much advance notice did I have to give.  She said "Ehh, maybe 15 minutes."  

I just blinked at her.  If it only takes 15 minutes, couldn't I just order some now?  I just looked at her confused and she didn't offer to help me with my pierogi needs.  So I just stood there, staring at her.  Evidently the deli counter lady was not too keen on helping a 1/2 Polish sister out with some pierogi, so eventually I broke down and just ordered some Black Forest Ham.  Which was terrific, by the way.  Smoky, salty, meaty deliciousness.  

After she handed me the small packed of sliced meat, I looked around me to see what else I might want to buy.  So many choices ... I was paralyzed.  Suddenly I saw this candy bar on a shelf.

  
A "Bananko" candy bar.  It appeared to be banana and chocolate flavored.  Two of my favorite tastes.  And it had a monkey on the wrapper ... and if you have read previous LilyOnTheLam.com posts, you'll know I will buy anything with a monkey on it.  Plus I haven't had Eastern European candy since I was traveling around Russia, so why not?

I paid for my weird shopping basket of ham and chocolate and then walked out to my car.  It was a very hot day and I figured that it was only fair to consume this candy bar before it melted.  I was putting the candy bar's structural integrity at the forefront.  ;-)  

I flipped over the packaging and discovered this was not a Polish candy bar.  WHAT?  OH NO!  WHAT IS IT?

This was a Croatian candy bar.  Are the Croatians known for their candy?  Only one way to find out ...  I opened the wrapper and took a bite.

A "Bananko" tastes like whipped artificial banana air covered in a weird chocolate-like substance.  Now being an American, I am used to our candy being so sweet and so rich that you instantly get diabetes - so I may not be the best judge of candy from other countries since my taste buds have been permanently mangled.  But that being said, I have to say that I am not a "Bananko" fan.  I took a couple bites and threw the rest away.  My apologies to Croatia.

I like candy, but this one is not going on my "must buy again" list.

However, I will definitely be back to Sikorski Deli - and I guess I'll call in advance to order some pierogis and see how they turn out!

I loved finding a new place in Tampa Bay that reminds me of New York City or Eastern Europe.  This was an unexpected road trip adventure that produced a Polish jewel.  Check it out!

It's A Triangular World and I Am A Triangular Girl - My Snack Obsession (Day Two)

Happy Wednesday LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

It's New Product Wednesday!  Reviews of products that are new or new to me!

The other week I wrote about my new favorite snack food, a.k.a. MY SNACK OBSESSION.  In keeping with the theme, I am going to write about another snack that I find crazy tasty.

I was on a Jet Blue flight to New York City and the flight attendant had a gigantic snack basket as big as the plane itself.  God bless an airline with a wide variety of snacks!  Now normally when I fly Jet Blue, I feel obligated to get the Terra Blue potato chips which are the first snack the airline ever offered.  (Little flight snack trivia for you, darlings!)  But on this particular flight I was feeling like throwing off the chains of convention and snacking recklessly!  I selected ...

  
Pop Corners White Cheddar Popped Corn Chips.  Now normally I don't like white cheddar-flavored snack bites because the "cheese dust" tastes way too artificial for me.  But I have to say these Pop Corners white cheddar chips were the exception to the rule - the cheese flavoring tasted authentic, real and non-chemical.  The chips had a satisfying crunch without a greasy taste.  I was a happy flyer with this lovely snack.

Later on the flight, the suave male flight attendant came back and offered me a second bag.  I didn't want to appear gluttonous - I mean you never know who you're going to meet on a plane.  What if my Prince Charming was on the flight?  What if he said "It was love at first sight until I saw you take a SECOND bag of Pop Corners!"  Instant trauma, people!  

But I have to say when the flight landed, I wish I had had a second free bag from JetBlue.  My life is full of triangular regrets! 

Sadly I don't think I would buy these, but only because I know I could NOT STOP EATING THEM.  They are delicious and definitely would be on my Snack Obsession list!  Thanks a lot JetBlue for giving me one more snack to add to my obsession list!  

New Product Wednesday: Lean Cuisine Monterey Jack Jalapeño Stuffed Pretzels

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

If you've been reading my posts this past week, you'll know that I have declared an anarchist state and have been posting "New Product Wednesday" reviews (reviews of products that are new or new to me) every day OTHER THAN WEDNESDAY.  Stop the madness and get this girl a calendar!

But TODAY is WEDNESDAY - and I have decided to honor "New Product Wednesday" on a Wednesday.  After all, I can be a traditionalist too.  As part of my sad and unhealthy "Summer of Processed Food" and search for comfort food while starting a new, stressful job; my eye spotted these little bad boys in my frozen food section!  Lean Cuisine Monterey Jack Jalapeño Stuffed Pretzels.

Now first check out the writing in the purple circle.  This small box has TWO servings of the 190 calorie pretzel bites each.  You get 4-5 pretzel bites per serving.  

I love a good pretzel.  I am an obsessed fan of jalapeños.  And I have been the President of the Cheese fan club since 1823.  I thought these pretzel bites would be amazing ... 

The verdict?  They're OK.  If I were on a strict diet and having a really intense comfort food craving, these pretzel bites might get me over the hump.  But in the taste and satisfaction department, ehhhh.  The pretzel crust was somewhat pretzel like. The cheese was a little spicy but didn't really taste like cheese.  It was bland and tasted watered down.  I ate four bites - 190 calories - and felt like I hadn't eaten anything.

I think I would have been more satisfied if I went to the mall, got an Auntie Anne's pretzel (340 calories each) and ate half of it with a half ounce slice of Pepper Jack cheese.  It'd be about 30 calories more than the Lean Cuisine pretzel bites, but I think my tastebuds and my stomach would be more satisfied.

Now that being said, if it's late at night and you want some lower calorie food that feels like higher calorie junk food; having a box of these in the freezer might be your answer.  But for me, it's just not bringing it in the taste department.  I most likely would not buy these again.

In The Land Of Comfort Foods, I Am Not Comforted!

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

If you read yesterday's blog post, you'll know that I spent most of this summer eating processed food and just trying to keep my head above water in my new job.  

Thankfully I have found that shortchanging myself on sleep, barely moving and eating all processed food was the surefire remedy to killing myself - and have since changed course direction.  

But I have a TON of product reviews to write about from my "Summer of Processed Food," so even though it's not Wednesday I am going to do a "New Product Wednesday" product review where I write about a product that is new or at least new to me.

As I was stressed with my new job, I could tell I was definitely seeking comfort from food.  And one of my comfort food faves is macaroni and cheese - it's starch, carbs, cheese, fatty goodness.  What's not to love?  Sadly, if you read my post from yesterday I haven't found a lot of "love" back from these frozen, processed comfort foods.  Yesterday's post on Stouffer's Cheeseburger Mac macaroni and cheese cup was a bomb - and not in a good way.  So today we stay with the macaroni and cheese genre with a review of "all natural" Evol Chipotle Chicken Mac & Cheese.

This darling little box looked healthier than the other processed mac and cheese frozen options.  And it's name is "Love" spelled backwards.  Surely that stands for quality and mondo deliciousness, right?  Well to my tastebuds, Evol spells "Not Tasty" or "ytsat ton."

I had high hopes for this trendy looking box of designer mac and cheese.  I have a love for anything with the word chipotle in it.  I followed the product cooking directions and came up with this ...

   
The entree has a crumb topping.  I mixed up the mac and cheese and tried it.  It did taste smoky, but I couldn't see or taste any chicken.  It also was dry as the Sahara.  I think of mac and cheese as lush and saucy.  This is not a reduced calorie entree, so where is the sauciness of this mac and cheese.

It was better than Stouffer's cheeseburger mac cups, but not by much.  I ate four bites and threw it away.  I wasn't going to waste my calories on this entree.

Sorry Evol - I didn't love or evol your product.  No comfort found in this comfort food dish!

Mucho Mustard: A Tale of Mac and Cheese Disappointment

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:  

I started a new job (same company, different group) early this summer.  I'm basically working three times harder for like 3 cents more a month.  Now I know I should be grateful that I have a job, but it's definitely been an adjustment because with triple work comes 100 times stress.  

At first, I was in survival mode - I stocked my freezer with microwaveable entrees that I could heat in 3 minutes and scarf down with my telephone on mute as I was on the 10th of 30 conference calls on any given day.  And I was constantly sitting from at least 6 a.m. - 3 p.m. straight.  I was lucky if I had a minute between conference calls to run to the bathroom.

Well as you may imagine, this processed food-no movement lifestyle quickly made me very sick.  I felt lethargic.  I started gaining weight.  Overall, I just felt unhealthy.  My first project manager I ever worked with at my company dropped dead at his work laptop, while he worked on a Saturday.  This is a sad fact that I had forgotten for several years, but it popped into my head lately.  Here's the deal - my company doesn't pay an extra bonus if you drop dead at your work computer on the weekend.  And frankly, my ghost is not going to have an upsurge of pride if I die "on the job."  In fact, my ghost will probably shriek "YOU DUMBASS!"  

So after several months of "just trying to keep it together" at the cost of my own health, I've turned the tide and am trying to keep a more balanced life.  My kitchen is filled with lots of produce from a farm stand in Plant City, Florida.  I wear my pedometer and I have a daily steps goal.  And I feel so much better.  Again a reminder that usually one needs to work smarter versus work harder.  

BUT from my triage/reactionary/just keep it together days, I have a ton of product reviews of processed food entrees!  So even though it is Sunday, let's declare it my "New Product Wednesday" day with a product review of Stouffer's Cheeseburger Mac flavor Mac Cups.  Portable, frozen, macaroni and cheese.

As my round belly will attest, I love comfort foods.  I love carbs, I love dairy, I love meat.  A cheeseburger mac macaroni and cheese cup sounded like heaven in plastic.

But ohhh, ohhhh I was WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.

Get a large spoon, fill it with French's plain yellow mustard, then insert it in your mouth and swallow the mustard.  This is what Stouffer's Cheeseburger Mac Cups taste like.  Now if you like plain yellow mustard, run to your store and buy as many of these mac cups as you want!  

BUT - if you're like me - who rarely ever likes plain yellow mustard (maybe on a really good hot dog, but otherwise fetch me some stoneground mustard or tarragon mustard or Grey Poupon, baby); then you're not going to like these cheeseburger mac cups.

They seriously had no flavor other than mustard.  It was not meaty.  It was not cheesy.  It was just mustardy.  The pack comes with two individual serving cups.  I took 2 bites and threw both cups away.  I wouldn't feed this to anyone I cared about.  

I had high hopes for these little cups of comfort food, but I was left sad and looking for something to wash out the mustard taste in my mouth.

Sorry Stouffer's, on this one I am going to pass!    

Loopy Again: My New Snack Obsession (Day One)

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

If you didn't get a chance to check out yesterday's post about helping rebuild Cephas' Hot Shop in Ybor City (Tampa), Florida - please take a moment to read it.  (Thank you!)

Happy Saturday!  I hope your weekend is going well.  Mine is social event central- lots of fun activities with lots of amazing people!  Even though it is Saturday, I am going to declare it Wednesday as in my "New Product Wednesday" blog posts where I review products that are new or new to me.  

When I was in Virginia visiting "The First Lady of Lynchburg," I enviously noticed that she belonged to many "box of the month" subscription services.  Boxes of goodies and fun products arriving on your doorstep every month?  It's like Christmas every month!  When I returned from Virginia, I started researching "box of the month" subscriptions and was shocked to learn that there are hundreds, maybe thousands even of these box subscriptions - socks of the month, fruit of the month, vacation of the month ... who knew?  I was mesmerized by all the options! 

My sister Squidge has relocated from Minneapolis to Chicago for a new job.  I like Chicago a lot but I don't care for the cold, windy winters!  However in support of Squidge's new move and new home city, I have sent her two "box of the month" subscriptions.  One is the Japanese candy gift box Skoshbox; which I will review in a later blog post.  The other is Naturebox where you pick 5 treats to have mailed to you each month.

Side Note:  I'm thinking of starting a Kickstarter donation campaign to fund my new business "CatBox" - where for an annual fee, I'll send you pictures of some of my 1200 cats each month.  Who could resist pictures like this?

This cat was so bored listening to my work conference call that he flipped over on his back.

After ordering a Skoshbox subscription for my sister, I decided my step-dad needed a subscription too.  Then I thought the two little donut-loving stars of my 400th Blog Post also needed a monthly box of Japanese candy to share.  I received the CUTEST picture of them extremely happy with their box of candy!  

My sister received news of her NatureBox subscription first because a gift subscription notice is emailed to the recipient and they can then choose five products for their first NatureBox.  Squidge was so excited by this gift and said there were so many good "natural" snack choices.  

Well as much as I like giving gifts, I also like RECEIVING gifts - and in an impulsive mood, I ordered my own six month NatureBox subscription.  (As if I need more snacks in the house!)

My first box arrived rather quickly and I enjoyed all of my items, but one of the snacks in particular has set off a new SNACK OBSESSION.  It is NatureBox's Salt and Pepper Lentil Loops.  

Now I must say I have been a fan of "all things in LOOP form" since I was a small child.  (Check out my blog post on my recipe for Loopy Vodka cupcakes!)  So call a snack food "Loops" and I am all over it.  But LENTIL loops?  Really?  Could they be any good?

  
In a word:  "Freaking YES!"  These salt and pepper lentil loops are savory, spicy, tangy, crisp, crunchy and absolutely addictive!  I've already selected the five items for my next month's NatureBox and they are ALL these darn tasty treats.  Yes, five bags of lentil loops are headed my way in the next delivery.  Each bag has three servings that are 130 calories.  It is very difficult to stop eating these delicious, spicy loops o' lentil and potato.  I'm going to have to hire a security guard to keep me away from my pantry once these delicious morsels arrive!

If you're looking for a good gift idea or a great snack source, check out NatureBox.com and these yum-a-licious lentil loops!  

P.S. I was not compensated for this blog post.  However, if you want me to get some freebies too, sign up for NatureBox at this link and I'll get referral credits!

To All My Real Housewives Friends and Twitter Friends

Happy Tuesday, LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

Yesterday, I declared it "New Product Wednesday on a Monday" and today I am declaring it "New Product Wednesday on a Tuesday!"  You are very lucky ... or I need to get a calendar.

If you are a regular reader of LilyOnTheLam, you will know that many times my posts are pretty much "what you see is what you get and what you get is crazy and wacky!"  I could write about myself in a self-aggrandizing light, but self-deprecating is a wee bit more true to form in a "why do these weird things always happen to me???" way.  

So in other words, why waste my breath or my fingers' typing away by trying to make myself sound better than I am?  It's better to just tell the truth and laugh along with everyone else ... who are laughing at me, hysterically laughing at me.  Sigh!  (LOL!)

In that viewpoint, I will admit to those of you who do not already know that I ... watch ... reality television.  

As in, my TV is permanently tuned to Bravo TV.  

(Side note: Hottie former Marine male Kelley from "Below Deck" favorited one of my tweets, which I think means he is in love with me.  Yep, pretty sure of that.)  

Now in my free time from being perma-glued to the reality TV line up, I also like to shop.  Yes, I am a walking stereotype. I know it.  I own it.

Now the reality TV stars of Bravo really do know that their audience loves to both shop and watch and there are all these side items they are constantly referencing on episodes.  

I feel like it is one part reality TV, one part HSN home shopping informercial.  I've never had a burning desire to buy Nene Leakes' clothing, Ramona Singer's Pinot Grigio, Vicki Gunvalson's vodka or have any of my pets buried and/or eulogized by Phaedra Parks or Sonja Morgan.  (I have tried Bethenny Frankel's Skinny Girl Margarita but found it too sweet.)  However, there is ONE product that has been touted AD NAUSEAM on "Real Housewives of New Jersey" that I was slightly curious about ...

I give you... the Manzo Boys' marketing company promoted BLK water!

  
It's water.  And it's black.  It is "alkaline fulvic trace mineral infused water" which basically to me sounds like the Swedish Chef talking.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where in most settings appearances count.  I know you should not judge a book by its cover, but I was really having a tough time looking at the BLK water,  When I look at a bottle of black liquid, I don't think "refreshing" or "hydrating."  I think "murky" and "swamp-like."  But I was also curious ...

So when I saw a bottle of BLK water on the shelves of Southern Season in Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina; I gave out a shriek of reality TV joy!  I may have to work 9000 hours in NC on a business trip, but there would be some BLK-water drinking time squeezed in there too!

I chilled the bottle to icy cold temps.  Not so much on purpose but because the refrigerator in my hotel room was straight outta Antarctica!  I opened the bottle and just stared at it.  Black water.  Hmmm.  I slowly raised the bottle to my lips and took a sip.

It tasted like water with an earthy aftertaste.  

It tasted like water from a really old house's kitchen sink.  

It was ice cold and yet tasted tepid.  How is that possible?

I have been in mud baths and thermal pools in Pamukkale, Turkey and hot springs in Taiwan and Malaysia, so I am not afraid of some minerals in my water.  But BLK water was not in the same vein.  It's hard to explain but I felt like it was anti-hydrating.  One sip and I didn't feel quenched or refreshed.  My mouth actually felt drier.  I have had alkaline waters before (I'm still looking for Shahs of Sunset's Asa Soltan's Diamond Water!) and have not had this sensation.

I forced myself to finish off the bottle.  When the bottle is empty, one sees that there had been black writing on the bottle that is only clearly visible once the bottle is empty.  It said "DEFY EXPECTATIONS" on the bottle.

Did BLK defy my expectations?  Sort of, but not in a good way.  I actually had high expectations for a mineral-infused water.  I was thinking that this might be a "good thing" for my body ... and maybe it was, but it certainly wasn't a treat for my taste buds.  Plus for some reason "DEFY EXPECTATIONS" made me think of "SURRENDER DOROTHY" from "The Wizard of Oz."  

Side note:  My Mother bought me Wizard of Oz bed sheets when I was little, a real life picture of the green Wicked Witch scared me so much that I ripped the sheets off my bed, balled them up and shoved them in the back of a drawer.  The life lesson there is: "Don't go to bed with things that scare you."  Which should be handed out on cards to people leaving bars at 3 a.m. with strangers.  Just sayin'.

Side Note #2:  I am pretty sure I think of "SURRENDER DOROTHY" when I see "Defy Expectations" because of the song "Defying Gravity" from the Wizard of Oz musical wicked.

I'll take Idina Menzel singing over drinking a bottle of BLK water ANY DAY OF THE WEEK.  Ms. Ohio and I saw her both in a one woman concert and in the pre-Broadway showings of her musical "If/Then" in Washington DC with a one Mr. Cardamom Monroe.  While I ADORED Idina Menzel in concert, I found "If/Then" to be rough, lackluster and uneven.  I hope it was polished more before it appeared on Broadway.  

Anyway, I found BLK water to be like my reality TV show watching.  Full of sturm und drang, signifying nothing.  Which also has been an appropriate metaphor for my dating life recently.  I had high hopes for "The Commissioner."  A man who kept telling me how honest, forthright, caring and compassionate he was.  Did I also happen to mention he works in sales?  Lots of words about how wonderful he was and little action to back it up.  You're a bottle of black water that tastes crappy and leaves me dehydrated!  So buh-bye Commissioner and on to the next one!   

Happy Tuesday, LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers - thanks for reading!