Material Girl in a Material World

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

After a summer with limited blog posts, I am on a roll.  I locked myself in a coffee house and wrote several blog posts.  There should be a parade or something ...   So I hope you have been enjoying the daily Lilyisms!  I am sure I will fall back into a silent slump for awhile - but not today!

I have realized that I have the impulse control of a toddler.  Every thing is just one giant shopportunity ... for instance I saw these coffee mugs on my Instagram feed:

"Dr. Bad Jen" on Instagram - founder of the "now on hiatus" Atomic Cosmetics - posted this picture. 

I have 9 billion coffee mugs ... which by the way, I NEVER use - as I usually use my iced coffee tumblers instead.  (I live in Florida, I prefer all of beverages ICED.)  So needless to say, I don't have any freaking need to purchase more coffee mugs.  BUT COME ON -- it's the mother from "Bewitched" (Endora - Agnes Moorehead) and Meryl Streep's character in "The Devil Wears Prada."  These are PERFECTION.  

I hope I can con one of my sassy gay male friends who love TV and movies as much as I do to purchase these mugs so I can come visit them.  Thereby saving my kitchen cupboards from one more superfluous purchase and yet still being able to breathe the rarified air of these fabulous mugs.  If I owned a coffee house, I would have one hundred of these mugs ... but then again maybe not because they would absolutely be stolen in seven seconds flat! 

I am staying strong and not giving in to my material urges to purchase these mugs that I do NOT need.  (And no, this is NOT a shout out to my friends to buy them for me!  If you're going to give me a gift, give me a box of cash - preferably $100's.  Love ya!).  

I once read in one of those "Your birthday means ..." books that people born on my birthday (like Jennifer Lopez and Amelia Earhart and Bindi Irwin) face an ongoing struggle of when to feed hunger and when to deny hunger.  I seriously almost dropped the book when I read that.  I am glad I didn't drop the book however since it was bigger than a phone book!  I could have lost a toe!  

The page might as well "An ongoing struggle of when to feed hunger and when to deny hunger, ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION LILY?"  I mean seriously - what a story of my life ... physical hunger, material hunger, hunger for love and respect (from myself and also from others) ... THE HUNGER IS REAL.  So in keeping with the massive astrology book, I am going to take this moment to DENY hunger and not purchase these amazing coffee mugs.  I hope this earns me extra points in heaven because restraint sucks. 

(If you don't practice the same level of personal restraint as I do, you can find these FABULOUS coffee mugs at Huntees.com https://huntees.com/mugs/.  They also have an Angela Lansbury "Murder She Wrote" and a Divine mug!  Oh the campy wonderfulness of it all!  I can hardly bear it!)  

As always, thanks for reading!    

August 6: Buy a Burger, Make A Difference

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

A few weeks ago I posted a link to an article on "The Wise Guy Diaries" entitled "Next Time You Think `I Don't Like Cops.'"  I was incredibly moved by the well-written article about police officers who answer the call to help with bravery and heroism - and also those who have made the ultimate sacrifice.  

One story shared in "The Wise Guys Diaries" article was about Officer Jeremy Henwood, age 36.  He stopped at McDonald's on August 6th to purchase dinner before his night shift.  There was a young boy in the restaurant and Officer Henwood purchased food for him as well.  An act of kindness from a police officer to a member of the community he worked in.  

Later that evening six blocks from the McDonald's, a man pulled up along side Officer Henwood who was sitting in his vehicle.  Unprovoked, the man shot Officer Henwood with a shotgun at close range.  He died later that night from his injuries.

The story resonated with me because I do believe our lives, no matter how many years in length, are relatively short.  How do we wish to spend our lives?  How do we wish to be remembered?  What should we do while we are on Earth?  If we can help other people, shouldn't we?  I believe that even the smallest acts of kindness can make a difference in another person's life.  And frankly what is a small act to one person may be the whole world to another.

I was recently in New Orleans' French Quarter.  Each day while out shopping and sightseeing, I would walk by a young woman - maybe 19 years old at most.  She looked like an attractive suburban teenager of privilege, but she was dressed in rags, filthy and had a cardboard sign asking for food.  I would walk by her and wonder what brought her to the streets panhandling.  In my "lofty perch of judgment," I assumed it was drugs that led her on to the streets.  I didn't give her any money and I noticed no one else around me did either.  

By the third day in New Orleans, I was having an extremely delicious and quite expensive lunch at a very nice restaurant.  I sat near a window and watched talented street musicians singing in harmony with a little Motown-style twirly dance step.  A small crowd had gathered to watch the singers.  

From my window seat, I saw a tall, emaciated, older African-American man.  He looked at least sixty-five years old.  He did not have a shirt on, only a neon yellow construction vest.  I could see his rib bones prominently through his dehydrated skin.  It was 91 degrees and stifling outside.  The gentleman walked slowly through the crowd asking for money and every person turned away from him.  

After spending several days in the French Quarter, I quickly recognized most of the homeless who hung out near my hotel.  However I had never seen this man before.  I felt an overwhelming compulsion that I had to get this man some food and do it NOW.  I think it was because the gentleman looked "so close to the edge."  He didn't look like he could last long in the heat and the conditions.  I didn't know if he was an alcoholic, a drug addict, mentally ill or had simply fallen on financial devastation.  But what I did feel in my heart is that this man's time would run out soon without assistance.

I ordered some food to go from the restaurant and kept my eye on the gentleman through the window.  I paid my check as I watched him heading down the street.  I got up quickly and sprinted out the restaurant with the take out bag of food in hand.  I looked in the direction the gentleman had been walking in and did not see him.  Where did he go?  He was walking so slowly.  How could I have lost him?  I kept scanning the sidewalks, but no sign of the gentleman. 

The French Quarter is not a large place, so I started walking down the streets and checking at each corner for the homeless man.  I spent half an hour walking all around but he was gone - vanished.  I finally stopped back at the corner where I first started my search, food in hand.  I couldn't believe I couldn't find him.  I was so certain that I needed to help this man that I couldn't grasp that I had failed in my mission.

I then looked across the street and there was the young girl I had seen several times before in the previous days.  The girl I believed was probably begging money for drugs or was "slumming it" on the streets escaping a prior life of privilege.  But who was I to determine this?  Why was I compelled to give food to the older, emaciated gentleman but so determined not to assist the younger girl?

I know this will sound odd, but I felt like the older man had been an apparition leading me to someone who needed my help.  I had spent all this time searching for the older man and yet here was someone right in front of me who also needed my help.  Why was I reluctant to give it?  

I walked up to the girl and then kept walking.  I stopped about fifteen feet away from her and then turned around, walking directly toward her.  She was hunched over, sitting on a low ledge in front of the Louisiana Supreme Court building.  I wasn't sure if she was asleep or awake.  I approached her and she raised her head up so slowly I felt like she had invisible weights tied to her neck.  

I handed the bag with food from the restaurant to her in one hand and in the other hand, I held out a twenty dollar bill that I had wanted to give to the emaciated older gentleman.  I could see the layers of dirt caked on her hands and feet.  And I wondered how difficult it must be to be a young, attractive woman alone asking for money on the streets of the French Quarter when most of the passerby are intoxicated and in many cases, looking for debauchery.  

The young woman's eyes popped out as she stared at the money in my hand.  She looked at me speechless for a second.  The look said "Is this a joke?" and then sizing me up to see if there was some catch behind my offer.  I extended my hand and pushed the twenty dollar bill into her hand. 

She quickly thanked me.  Her voice was very formal, again making me think that she came from an educated, at least somewhat privileged background.  I said a prayer hoping that she would use the money for food or something productive - not drugs and alcohol and then I left.

I never saw the older, emaciated gentleman again on that day or on any of my remaining days in New Orleans.

After returning to Tampa, I received a very nice email from the author of "The Wise Guys Diaries."  He thanked me for posting a link to his website on LilyOnTheLam.com.  He also wanted to let me know that in honor of Officer Jeremy Henwood and all fallen Police Officers, this August 6th would be "Buy A Burger" day - asking people to buy a burger for a stranger in need like Officer Jeremy Henwood did on the last day of his life.  

I wanted to pass along this information and encourage readers to take part in this effort on August 6th to honor Officer Jeremy Henwood and other Police Officers and First Responders who have given their lives in service.

However, I also understand that people may be reluctant to buy a stranger a burger.  Or they may feel that this is not a tangible way to truly honor fallen police officers.  So with no offense intended toward "The Wise Guy Diaries," I also offer the following ways to consider helping if you do not want to buy a burger for a stranger on August 6th.

Donations to Officer Henwood's Memorial Fund

Feeding America Tampa Bay - donate or volunteer

Tampa Police Memorial Fund 

No Kid Hungry

Blessings In A Backpack


Life is short and the number of people who could use a helping hand is large.  Even the smallest act of kindness can help change a life.  Over half a million people have read the article on "The Wise Guy Diaries" and there have been social media clicks on the link from people in over 150 countries.  Could you imagine what a difference could be made if each person who read the article did something on August 6th to honor Officer Henwood?  Small acts of kindness from many people can create a tidal wave of change.

So whether you buy a stranger a hamburger, volunteer your time to your community or donate money to a worthwhile cause, I hope you will take part in the August 6th event to honor Officer Jeremy Henwood.  

Thank you for reading!