Happy Wednesday, LilyOnTheLam.com Readers!
Last weekend as part of my "get rid of the Los Angeles vacation weight" plan, I went to visit Cephas' Hot Shop (a.k.a. The Guru of My Colon) for an aloe shake - aloe vera gel, ice and water.
Aloe vera gel taken internally has a mild laxative effect. "Aloe latex" - extract from the outer lining of the aloe leaves has a larger amount of natural stimulant laxative in it. Supposedly repeated use of aloe latex can cause intestinal and liver issues, so you should research/consult with your physician before you start taking aloe in gel or latex forms.
It's been MONTHS since I have seen Cephas, so of course I got a huge scolding for being away. I explained I had been in Los Angeles - of course I didn't say it was only for an extended weekend! I was hoping just saying I was away would excuse my months-long absence.
There was a man, woman and their young (maybe 8 or 10 years old) son with them standing in front of the aloe stand in Ybor City. I watched as the man tried to down first a tamarind water drink mixed with baking soda and then the aloe shake. Cephas was giving his usual speech on how people are only using a small percentage of their small intestine and how aloe can help you use your body more efficiently. He plays a Dr. Oz video on a loop in the background. (Cephas is now on Facebook! Check him out here. He also has a new website.)
If you have read my previous post on Cephas, you may remember that Cephas is a big advocate of using aloe for health purposes. He also likes to tell people - whether they are fat, skinny or in-between - that they are unhealthy and fat! So I should not have been surprised that Cephas told the young boy- chubby-cheeked but otherwise reed-thin - that he was fat. But I was surprised! Luckily, the young man just laughed.
Being a repeat customer of Cephas, I know the drill on how to drink aloe shakes. I first had a tamarind water drink and then I quickly slammed down a large aloe shake before the older male patron could even choke down half of his aloe shake. There is no sweetener and no flavoring - so the aloe shake tastes pretty bitter. Cephas says it is bitter because you're tasting all the enzymes. I'm not sure about that. The best way to drink it is to gulp it down until it is all gone, trying not to taste it along the way. I could probably beat most frat guys in slamming drinks with my aloe shake practice.
As I was drinking my aloe shake, Cephas started yelling at me and said I needed to "quit with the shrooms." The female patron stared at me with wide, shocked eyes. Again Cephas barked that I had to quit the shrooms NOW!
Side Note: For the record, in the past 8 weeks I have had one drink with alcohol in it - total. At my elderly age, I'm not running around doing illegal drugs or copious amounts of alcohol. (Although good Lord, I spent most of my LA weekend with a contact high - medical marijuana dispensaries on every block! The "purple haze" was over the entire city! Each block I walked down, I was catching more pot smoke!) My drug of choice is the banana cream pie I had (TWICE) in Los Angeles and a bag of Twizzlers on the plane home (and every other gluttonous delight I devoured on my vacation!)
So despite the contact buzz in LA, I'm a pretty straight shooter. Thus, I was clueless why Cephas was telling me - and a small audience - that I needed to stop doing SHROOMS. I stammered a "WHAT?" as the female patron was eyeing me with disdain like I was an urban drug lord. I stared back at her with my eyes hidden behind big Prada aviator sunglasses. I then whipped them off and tried to give her my best innocent "I have no clue what he is talking about!" look. She wasn't buying it!
"SHROOMS! SHROOMS! YOU STOP DOING IT!" Cephas hollered out in his Jamaican accent.
All of a sudden it hit me-- SHRIMP. He was talking about eating shrimp!
Cephas is anti-shrimp, tuna and pork. He believes all shellfish are bottom feeders that are filled with mercury. He recommends aloe shakes every day and believes they are the remedy to everything.
I yelled out "OH SHRIMP! YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SHRIMP!" I looked at the female patron who I think was now shielding her young son from me and said "SHRIMP! SHRIMP! HE'S SAYING SHRIMP! SHRIMP!" She didn't look convinced.
Cephas said "YES, YES, NO SHRIMP, NO PORK, NO TUNA!"
Cephas said he could tell I had been eating shrimp because my thyroid was bulging and that he could see it in my eyes. I recently had lab work done and knew my thyroid was fine. So I had no idea what he was talking about. I declined to get into a discussion over whether I had a bulging thyroid or just a fat neck (um, yeah … for better or worse, it's the latter.) And as for my eyes - perhaps it was my contact lenses?
But I did say "You're silly, I haven't eaten shrimp in …" and then I went silent.
Normally I don't eat a lot of shrimp. Not because I am scared of the wrath of Cephas or the mercury or other toxins, but because when I cook shrimp I turn it into rubber. And who wants to eat rubber? Plus shrimp does not fill me up, so if I am at a restaurant I usually do not order it.
But the reason I went quiet was that I realized I had eaten shrimp recently! Not only once - but twice!
I had shared an amazing coconut shrimp appetizer with friends after Indian Rocks Beach Greenfest at JD's Restaurant & Lounge. We also had these insanely delicious fried pickle chips. I am not a fried pickle fan, but these were the best I have ever tried. I had also had shrimp in Los Angeles, but it was nowhere as good as JD's coconut shrimp.
I started stroking my neck. Yikes! Cephas was not only the Guru of my colon, but he could tell that I had had six measly shrimp total in the past two weeks! Eek!
The female patron still eyed me shiftily. Evidently I was a shrimp-eating shroom addict in her eyes. I paid for my tamarind water and aloe shake. Cephas yelled out to me as I was headed to my car that I had to come back more often. That it was hurting my health by not having aloe shakes regularly. I yelled back that I would try but I am off to Las Vegas and New York soon.
As I got into my car, I could hear the woman asking Cephas about me. I was pretty sure she thought I was the Floridian shroom gateway distributing drugs throughout my various travels. For the record, I brought back giant Peep marshmallow rabbits for my sister from Los Angeles. Peeps, not shrooms!
The aloe shake from Cephas' Hot Shop had the intended medicinal effect. Not to get too crude, but I was able to say goodbye to everything I ate in Los Angeles! I may now be (mistakenly) known as an urban drug lord, but I am an urban drug lord with a clean colon!
(P.S. Cephas' Hot Shop does amazing Jamaican food- if aloe is not your thing, check out the food available for take-out. I recommend the fish with vegetables, beans and rice.)
Last weekend as part of my "get rid of the Los Angeles vacation weight" plan, I went to visit Cephas' Hot Shop (a.k.a. The Guru of My Colon) for an aloe shake - aloe vera gel, ice and water.
Aloe vera gel taken internally has a mild laxative effect. "Aloe latex" - extract from the outer lining of the aloe leaves has a larger amount of natural stimulant laxative in it. Supposedly repeated use of aloe latex can cause intestinal and liver issues, so you should research/consult with your physician before you start taking aloe in gel or latex forms.
It's been MONTHS since I have seen Cephas, so of course I got a huge scolding for being away. I explained I had been in Los Angeles - of course I didn't say it was only for an extended weekend! I was hoping just saying I was away would excuse my months-long absence.
There was a man, woman and their young (maybe 8 or 10 years old) son with them standing in front of the aloe stand in Ybor City. I watched as the man tried to down first a tamarind water drink mixed with baking soda and then the aloe shake. Cephas was giving his usual speech on how people are only using a small percentage of their small intestine and how aloe can help you use your body more efficiently. He plays a Dr. Oz video on a loop in the background. (Cephas is now on Facebook! Check him out here. He also has a new website.)
If you have read my previous post on Cephas, you may remember that Cephas is a big advocate of using aloe for health purposes. He also likes to tell people - whether they are fat, skinny or in-between - that they are unhealthy and fat! So I should not have been surprised that Cephas told the young boy- chubby-cheeked but otherwise reed-thin - that he was fat. But I was surprised! Luckily, the young man just laughed.
Being a repeat customer of Cephas, I know the drill on how to drink aloe shakes. I first had a tamarind water drink and then I quickly slammed down a large aloe shake before the older male patron could even choke down half of his aloe shake. There is no sweetener and no flavoring - so the aloe shake tastes pretty bitter. Cephas says it is bitter because you're tasting all the enzymes. I'm not sure about that. The best way to drink it is to gulp it down until it is all gone, trying not to taste it along the way. I could probably beat most frat guys in slamming drinks with my aloe shake practice.
As I was drinking my aloe shake, Cephas started yelling at me and said I needed to "quit with the shrooms." The female patron stared at me with wide, shocked eyes. Again Cephas barked that I had to quit the shrooms NOW!
Side Note: For the record, in the past 8 weeks I have had one drink with alcohol in it - total. At my elderly age, I'm not running around doing illegal drugs or copious amounts of alcohol. (Although good Lord, I spent most of my LA weekend with a contact high - medical marijuana dispensaries on every block! The "purple haze" was over the entire city! Each block I walked down, I was catching more pot smoke!) My drug of choice is the banana cream pie I had (TWICE) in Los Angeles and a bag of Twizzlers on the plane home (and every other gluttonous delight I devoured on my vacation!)
So despite the contact buzz in LA, I'm a pretty straight shooter. Thus, I was clueless why Cephas was telling me - and a small audience - that I needed to stop doing SHROOMS. I stammered a "WHAT?" as the female patron was eyeing me with disdain like I was an urban drug lord. I stared back at her with my eyes hidden behind big Prada aviator sunglasses. I then whipped them off and tried to give her my best innocent "I have no clue what he is talking about!" look. She wasn't buying it!
"SHROOMS! SHROOMS! YOU STOP DOING IT!" Cephas hollered out in his Jamaican accent.
All of a sudden it hit me-- SHRIMP. He was talking about eating shrimp!
Cephas is anti-shrimp, tuna and pork. He believes all shellfish are bottom feeders that are filled with mercury. He recommends aloe shakes every day and believes they are the remedy to everything.
I yelled out "OH SHRIMP! YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SHRIMP!" I looked at the female patron who I think was now shielding her young son from me and said "SHRIMP! SHRIMP! HE'S SAYING SHRIMP! SHRIMP!" She didn't look convinced.
Cephas said "YES, YES, NO SHRIMP, NO PORK, NO TUNA!"
Cephas said he could tell I had been eating shrimp because my thyroid was bulging and that he could see it in my eyes. I recently had lab work done and knew my thyroid was fine. So I had no idea what he was talking about. I declined to get into a discussion over whether I had a bulging thyroid or just a fat neck (um, yeah … for better or worse, it's the latter.) And as for my eyes - perhaps it was my contact lenses?
But I did say "You're silly, I haven't eaten shrimp in …" and then I went silent.
Normally I don't eat a lot of shrimp. Not because I am scared of the wrath of Cephas or the mercury or other toxins, but because when I cook shrimp I turn it into rubber. And who wants to eat rubber? Plus shrimp does not fill me up, so if I am at a restaurant I usually do not order it.
But the reason I went quiet was that I realized I had eaten shrimp recently! Not only once - but twice!
I had shared an amazing coconut shrimp appetizer with friends after Indian Rocks Beach Greenfest at JD's Restaurant & Lounge. We also had these insanely delicious fried pickle chips. I am not a fried pickle fan, but these were the best I have ever tried. I had also had shrimp in Los Angeles, but it was nowhere as good as JD's coconut shrimp.
I started stroking my neck. Yikes! Cephas was not only the Guru of my colon, but he could tell that I had had six measly shrimp total in the past two weeks! Eek!
The female patron still eyed me shiftily. Evidently I was a shrimp-eating shroom addict in her eyes. I paid for my tamarind water and aloe shake. Cephas yelled out to me as I was headed to my car that I had to come back more often. That it was hurting my health by not having aloe shakes regularly. I yelled back that I would try but I am off to Las Vegas and New York soon.
As I got into my car, I could hear the woman asking Cephas about me. I was pretty sure she thought I was the Floridian shroom gateway distributing drugs throughout my various travels. For the record, I brought back giant Peep marshmallow rabbits for my sister from Los Angeles. Peeps, not shrooms!
The aloe shake from Cephas' Hot Shop had the intended medicinal effect. Not to get too crude, but I was able to say goodbye to everything I ate in Los Angeles! I may now be (mistakenly) known as an urban drug lord, but I am an urban drug lord with a clean colon!
(P.S. Cephas' Hot Shop does amazing Jamaican food- if aloe is not your thing, check out the food available for take-out. I recommend the fish with vegetables, beans and rice.)
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