When I was a way more optimistic and way less jaded young lass in grad school, I dated an older man. OK he was three years older, but when you're 22 that gap seems much bigger than it is. It was an overly dramatic relationship worthy of reality TV.
I grew up watching the soap opera “The Young and The Restless” with my Grandmother, so I imagined that adult relationships were not great unless they came with a lot of sturm und drang. (“Turbulence and urgency” in German – or the less fancy sounding – “storm and stress.”) Until the day Grandma and I watched an episode where a man desperately in love with a woman broke into her apartment, opened her underwear drawer and started literally sniffing around. I think I was maybe 8 years old at the time. I looked at my Grandmother with horror. Is this what happens in adult relationships? If you love someone, do you really need to break into their home and sniff their underwear? My Grandmother wasn’t big on small talk, she just went back to her instant coffee and chain-smoking.
Needless to say, I grew up very confused about what constitutes a healthy relationship.
Back to my story … Older man … let’s call him “JP.” JP loved to be pampered. And really, what guy doesn’t? I told JP that when my mother was single she had a post-amour breakfast that she would make for her then current paramour. In my mother’s case, it was eggs Benedict. My mother is no great gourmand so the hollandaise sauce was made from a packet, but she’d squeeze in some fresh lemon juice and cayenne pepper and it would taste a lot closer to homemade.
JP straightened up with mock indignation and wanted to know why he did not have a post-coitus breakfast tradition with me. Oh what fresh hell, is this? My chatter had unwittingly signed me up to make fancy breakfasts. Isn’t sex with me, “treat” enough? Now I had to cook too? Argh!
Since I am a smidge more of a gourmand than my Mother but also an efficiency nut, I realized I could whip up cinnamon roll dough the day before. Then in the morning it would be minimum effort to bake off a nice breakfast. Success! The homemade cinnamon rolls stroked JP’s ego that his love-making skills were worth a culinary treat and I got to sleep in. Win-win!
But JP was greedy … and eventually the homemade breakfasts were not enough. He then wanted a pre-coitus fancy dinner as well. What?? Before and after gourmet delights? So much to ask from a 22 year old who was raised on “Young and the Restless”! I searched the internet for fancy sounding recipes. I would make grilled citrus salmon, okra-studded jambalaya or a super fatty lasagna with so much Italian sausage and cheese that I am surprised that JP didn’t keel over from a coronary. JP and his belly were in love with both me and my cooking skills.
I suppose I should thank JP for pushing the envelope on my culinary abilities. Before I dated JP, my signature dish was a knock off of Hamburger Helper. Mac and cheese with ground beef and vegetables. Hardly haute cuisine.
When I first started dating JP, I was on a two year streak of vegetarianism. JP was a full-on carnivore. By the time our relationship ended a year later, I was back to eating meat. I found that cooking meat for JP without being able to eat it was too much for my weak willpower. However by breaking up with JP, I apparently had broken his heart and his will to eat meat – he’s been a vegetarian ever since. Or maybe my super fatty sausage lasagna did him in once and for all. Or maybe he just needed to sniff my underwear.
Since then, I have tried to use my culinary powers for good and not evil when it comes to seduction. But the menu I utilize still tends to be on the heavier side of the caloric fence. My latest seduction fare has moved away from homemade cinnamon rolls and fatty lasagna to a more gourmet looking menu.
A couple weeks ago, I decided to try my hand at a culinary seduction dinner to rival the great meals of my crazed youth. But I needed a quick and easy menu that looked more elaborate than it was. My menu plan comes thanks to several awesome food bloggers.
I started with EvilShenanigans.com’s Thai Coconut Curry Braised Short Ribs. This is my go to dish because it can be made in a slow cooker. It also freezes beautifully. Efficiency is still my middle name when it comes to seduction dinners! The recipe says you can substitute lime juice and lime rind for Kaffir lime leaves, but do yourself a favor and find some Kaffir lime leaves. (I get mine at Whole Foods.) The finished product is a thousand times better with Kaffir lime leaves. I don’t have a picture of the finished product, but you can find a great picture of it on EvilShenanigans.com.
Next, I made Jaden Hair of SteamyKitchen.com’s stovetop coconut rice. This is the perfect recipe if you do not have a rice cooker ... or are afraid of rice cookers. Either way, it's a good one! I took a cooking class taught by Jaden Hair a few years ago. Jaden has these two gorgeous ½ Asian sons and I have an Asian baby fetish – they are like super cute kittens to me! Is that a racist statement? I’m sorry, but I love Buddha babies! They are so cute! I think my ravenous adoration of Jaden Hair, her recipes and her over-the-top cute kids put Ms. Hair on “stalker alert” during the cooking class. I think she held the ginger grater a little tighter when demonstrating Asian cooking techniques next to me. (Sorry Jaden!)
I added 1/2 a cup of sweetened flaked coconut to the rice while cooking to add additional coconut flavor. I sprinkle chopped green onions on top before serving. My friends have been known to request this rice. It is a major hit! Also on the efficiency meter, I made the rice ahead of time and reheated it in the microwave with a wet paper towel on top to steam the rice without drying it out.
I threw together a salad with sliced Persian cucumbers, red onion and halved grape tomatoes tossed in white balsamic vinaigrette. My standard go-to salad. Looks fancier than it is and takes 2 seconds to put together. (Sorry, no picture!)
And for dessert … an orange-chocolate torte. I took a flourless chocolate torte recipe courtesy of the back of the Ghirardelli ultimate fudge brownie mix box, added a teaspoon of orange zest to the batter before baking. Then after baking, I poked holes in the cake using a toothpick and poured in 1/3 of a cup of fresh squeezed orange juice while the cake was still in the baking pan.. I let the cake sit for 30 minutes, then flipped it over on to a plate and covered with the chocolate glaze packet from the Ghirardelli ultimate fudge brownie mix. I served the orange chocolate torte with Haagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream for an extra luxe touch!
This seduction dinner hit its intended mark. No underwear sniffing necessary! If you’re looking for an easy but great-looking dinner for your paramour, check out these great recipes.
P.S. I dedicate this blog post to JK - who loves Asian babies as much as I do!
I grew up watching the soap opera “The Young and The Restless” with my Grandmother, so I imagined that adult relationships were not great unless they came with a lot of sturm und drang. (“Turbulence and urgency” in German – or the less fancy sounding – “storm and stress.”) Until the day Grandma and I watched an episode where a man desperately in love with a woman broke into her apartment, opened her underwear drawer and started literally sniffing around. I think I was maybe 8 years old at the time. I looked at my Grandmother with horror. Is this what happens in adult relationships? If you love someone, do you really need to break into their home and sniff their underwear? My Grandmother wasn’t big on small talk, she just went back to her instant coffee and chain-smoking.
Needless to say, I grew up very confused about what constitutes a healthy relationship.
Back to my story … Older man … let’s call him “JP.” JP loved to be pampered. And really, what guy doesn’t? I told JP that when my mother was single she had a post-amour breakfast that she would make for her then current paramour. In my mother’s case, it was eggs Benedict. My mother is no great gourmand so the hollandaise sauce was made from a packet, but she’d squeeze in some fresh lemon juice and cayenne pepper and it would taste a lot closer to homemade.
JP straightened up with mock indignation and wanted to know why he did not have a post-coitus breakfast tradition with me. Oh what fresh hell, is this? My chatter had unwittingly signed me up to make fancy breakfasts. Isn’t sex with me, “treat” enough? Now I had to cook too? Argh!
Since I am a smidge more of a gourmand than my Mother but also an efficiency nut, I realized I could whip up cinnamon roll dough the day before. Then in the morning it would be minimum effort to bake off a nice breakfast. Success! The homemade cinnamon rolls stroked JP’s ego that his love-making skills were worth a culinary treat and I got to sleep in. Win-win!
But JP was greedy … and eventually the homemade breakfasts were not enough. He then wanted a pre-coitus fancy dinner as well. What?? Before and after gourmet delights? So much to ask from a 22 year old who was raised on “Young and the Restless”! I searched the internet for fancy sounding recipes. I would make grilled citrus salmon, okra-studded jambalaya or a super fatty lasagna with so much Italian sausage and cheese that I am surprised that JP didn’t keel over from a coronary. JP and his belly were in love with both me and my cooking skills.
I suppose I should thank JP for pushing the envelope on my culinary abilities. Before I dated JP, my signature dish was a knock off of Hamburger Helper. Mac and cheese with ground beef and vegetables. Hardly haute cuisine.
When I first started dating JP, I was on a two year streak of vegetarianism. JP was a full-on carnivore. By the time our relationship ended a year later, I was back to eating meat. I found that cooking meat for JP without being able to eat it was too much for my weak willpower. However by breaking up with JP, I apparently had broken his heart and his will to eat meat – he’s been a vegetarian ever since. Or maybe my super fatty sausage lasagna did him in once and for all. Or maybe he just needed to sniff my underwear.
Since then, I have tried to use my culinary powers for good and not evil when it comes to seduction. But the menu I utilize still tends to be on the heavier side of the caloric fence. My latest seduction fare has moved away from homemade cinnamon rolls and fatty lasagna to a more gourmet looking menu.
A couple weeks ago, I decided to try my hand at a culinary seduction dinner to rival the great meals of my crazed youth. But I needed a quick and easy menu that looked more elaborate than it was. My menu plan comes thanks to several awesome food bloggers.
I started with EvilShenanigans.com’s Thai Coconut Curry Braised Short Ribs. This is my go to dish because it can be made in a slow cooker. It also freezes beautifully. Efficiency is still my middle name when it comes to seduction dinners! The recipe says you can substitute lime juice and lime rind for Kaffir lime leaves, but do yourself a favor and find some Kaffir lime leaves. (I get mine at Whole Foods.) The finished product is a thousand times better with Kaffir lime leaves. I don’t have a picture of the finished product, but you can find a great picture of it on EvilShenanigans.com.
Seared short ribs in a braising liquid of coconut milk, lemongrass,
Kaffir limes, onions and other ingredients.
The braising liquid and short ribs after six hours of slow cooking.
Next, I made Jaden Hair of SteamyKitchen.com’s stovetop coconut rice. This is the perfect recipe if you do not have a rice cooker ... or are afraid of rice cookers. Either way, it's a good one! I took a cooking class taught by Jaden Hair a few years ago. Jaden has these two gorgeous ½ Asian sons and I have an Asian baby fetish – they are like super cute kittens to me! Is that a racist statement? I’m sorry, but I love Buddha babies! They are so cute! I think my ravenous adoration of Jaden Hair, her recipes and her over-the-top cute kids put Ms. Hair on “stalker alert” during the cooking class. I think she held the ginger grater a little tighter when demonstrating Asian cooking techniques next to me. (Sorry Jaden!)
I added 1/2 a cup of sweetened flaked coconut to the rice while cooking to add additional coconut flavor. I sprinkle chopped green onions on top before serving. My friends have been known to request this rice. It is a major hit! Also on the efficiency meter, I made the rice ahead of time and reheated it in the microwave with a wet paper towel on top to steam the rice without drying it out.
I threw together a salad with sliced Persian cucumbers, red onion and halved grape tomatoes tossed in white balsamic vinaigrette. My standard go-to salad. Looks fancier than it is and takes 2 seconds to put together. (Sorry, no picture!)
And for dessert … an orange-chocolate torte. I took a flourless chocolate torte recipe courtesy of the back of the Ghirardelli ultimate fudge brownie mix box, added a teaspoon of orange zest to the batter before baking. Then after baking, I poked holes in the cake using a toothpick and poured in 1/3 of a cup of fresh squeezed orange juice while the cake was still in the baking pan.. I let the cake sit for 30 minutes, then flipped it over on to a plate and covered with the chocolate glaze packet from the Ghirardelli ultimate fudge brownie mix. I served the orange chocolate torte with Haagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream for an extra luxe touch!
Ultimate orange chocolate torte!
Sergio is considering work as a hand model as he holds the dessert for the photo ...
This seduction dinner hit its intended mark. No underwear sniffing necessary! If you’re looking for an easy but great-looking dinner for your paramour, check out these great recipes.
P.S. I dedicate this blog post to JK - who loves Asian babies as much as I do!
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