Teachable Moments

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

I hope you have been enjoying the plethora of blog posts I have been writing lately.  After avoiding my blog for a good part of 2015, I am trying to make up for it before the holiday season begins.  

Now if you're a regular LilyOnTheLam.com reader, you may know that I tend to be cynical, sarcastic, tongue in cheek, self-deprecating and yet egomaniacally egocentric at the same time ... and basically a bit whacky with a side of goofy and a dollop of nerd with a sprinkle of elderly, crazy cat lady.  I might also be somewhat delusional, but the medical community has not issued an official diagnosis at this time.  (By the way, when I am sitting in my Senate confirmation hearing for US Supreme Court Justice, I am going to regret writing the above.)  

Also, if you're a viewer of my LilyOnTheLam Instagram account (or a reader of my blog); you will know that I love RuPaul's Drag Race - the reality television competition show on Logo TV.  

Well one day I was listening to RuPaul's podcast on my iPhone.  I was very excited because RuPaul's Drag Race Season 6 winner, Bianca Del Rio was on the podcast.  I have seen Bianca Del Rio twice - once in the touring show "RuPaul's Battle of the Stars" at the Ritz Ybor in Ybor City (Tampa), Florida.  The other time I saw Bianca in his one-drag queen show "Rolodex of Hate" in Provincetown, Massachusetts.  Bianca Del Rio is a bit of an insult comic drag queen, but the "secret" is that Bianca Del Rio also has a heart of gold.  

I was very excited to see Bianca Del Rio (a.k.a. Roy Haylock) and he did not disappoint!  It was a FANTASTIC show!

Now as I was listening to the RuPaul podcast, a person who I will not name asked me what I was listening to.  This particular person is a business person who provides services and I was her client.  Now I should have been given a heads up when the person (who is 4 years younger than me) didn't know what a podcast was.  (Clue #1 that this person is clueless).

Next, this person didn't know RuPaul had done anything with his life past his 1993 song "Supermodel of the World."  (OK so you're not into drag queens, many are not.)

Needless to say this person had never heard of Bianca Del Rio.  (No shade to Bianca but if RuPaul's not on your personal radar, Bianca probably is not either.)  So I whipped out my Instagram account and showed this person the following picture ...

Bianca Del Rio and Yours Truly

The person looked at this picture of a drag queen with me and sputtered "Wait, are you a drag queen too?"  

OK SERIOUSLY?  This is an educated professional with an advanced degree and she is asking me - IN ALL SERIOUSNESS AND SINCERITY- if I am a drag queen.

A million smart ass remarks went flying through my head.

I like convertibles.  It doesn't mean I am a car.

I thought about RuPaul's quote: "We're all born naked and the rest is drag."  But I thought this particular person would not understand the quote and would then take it as an affirmation that I am a drag queen.

Finally, I decided that this was a teachable moment.  And instead of insulting or shaming the person, I should educate.

OK and maybe shame her just a little.

I adopted a curt tone and said "No, I am not a drag queen. I am a biological female.  So I can't be a drag queen.  If I was a drag performer, I'd be a drag king."

She gasped and started to speak - I quickly cut her off and said "I AM NOT A DRAG KING!"  She quickly snapped her mouth shut, understanding that the Question and Answer portion of the day was now over.  

Seriously, how is this person a professional?  

I know many of my friends may find my love of RuPaul's Drag Race to be bizarre - but I also have friends who obsess over "American Idol" or "The Voice" or cults dedicated to worshipping escargot (OK I may have made that last one up).  I may not see the value or have any interest but I respect their passion.  

This particular person then went on to talk for 20 minutes about how she believes Caitlyn Jenner is not transgender and is only adopting a female persona (and plastic surgery) to make money.  I found it particularly amusing as she made some narrow-minded comments about transgendered people that I was wearing a Human Rights Campaign t-shirt (which advocates for equal rights) that says "Love Conquers Hate."  She was talking very loudly and there were other clients in ear shot.  I wondered if any of her clients had friends or family members who were transgendered.

I am heterosexual but this person did not know that.  I found it curious that she was spewing so many awkward, potentially offensive statements.  But then she started talking about how she wished she didn't get married.  So I figured she had much bigger issues than not knowing about RuPaul's Drag Race.

At times like this, I actually think the biggest teachable moment is what I personally take away from the interaction.  I felt awkward and uncomfortable with her tone and attitudes.  But I also saw it as an opportunity to practice tolerance and compassion.  Not everyone is going to share my views.  Better to approach such situations with compassion versus judgment.

(Oh but it is SO EASY for me to be snippy and judgmental!  It takes stamina to NOT be judgmental!)  

I really want to dismiss this person as an uneducated crack pot but I think that adds to the "us vs. them" mentality that seems to be running center in American politics.  I'd like to think that the world is not so black and white, all or nothing.  And if that is how I want my world to be - tolerant and compassionate - change starts from within.  I need to be more tolerant and compassionate.  Which is NOT easy, but it is a challenge I should embrace.

As always, thank you for reading!