The Perfect Saturday: Living in the Moment, Enjoying The Moment

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

Happy Monday!  How was your weekend?  Mine was absolutely fantastic.

When I was sixteen, my paternal Grandfather was suffering from Alzheimer’s.  In the mornings, it was like his memory had been wiped clean.  I only visited my grandparents one to three times a year so I did not take it personally that my Grandfather had no idea who I was.  But it broke my heart that he had zero recognition of my Aunt – his daughter – who lovingly and faithfully cared for him day in and day out.  

However in the evenings, it was like someone turned on a flashlight in the darkness.  My Grandfather would look at me with full recognition.  He had absolute and complete total recall of all of my and my mother’s major life events.  He would even ask me about things I had long forgotten about, which made me wonder how much our brain retains of our lives even when we are unaware,  He died less than six months after I had last seen him, but I hold those rare lucid discussions near to my heart. 

My maternal Grandfather had suffered a similar fate.  As he lived in Taiwan, I did not get a chance to see him often during my childhood.  On my last trip to see him before he passed away, I spent a week with him.  However he was in a complete fog to all around him.  He did not speak and did not appear to be cognizant of the world.  We took him to his favorite Japanese restaurant and he seemed to enjoy eating chawan mushi.  It made me very happy to see him happy.  

However, next we had to stop him when he quickly used his chopsticks to pick up a golfball size of wasabi and tried to eat it.  The look of pity mixed with sadness on my mother’s face as she saw her father intellectually and spiritually wasting away in front of her is a look I wish I could erase from my own memory. 

Fifteen minutes before my mother and I were leaving to go to the airport to fly from Taiwan back to the United States, my maternal Grandfather looked up from his wheelchair and focused on my face.  The fog had been lifted and he said to me in English “thank you.”  

I was overjoyed that the veil of darkness had lifted even for a precious moment and that he could truly see me, know who I was and know that I was there for him.  However I was  overcome that it was right before I was leaving.  I had spent over a week there and before I leave, he finally “wakes”?  It didn't seem fair.  

But I told myself that this moment - however short - was a gift.  Better to have one moment than no moment at all.  

Within five minutes, the fog had returned and my maternal Grandfather was staring off into space again.  I stopped feeling sad about that the lucid moment came right before I was leaving.  Instead I offered a thank you to the universe for this very brief moment with my Grandfather and then I headed to the airport.  It was the last time I saw my Grandfather before he passed away. 

This weekend has made me think a lot about living in the moment and appreciating moments for what they are versus wishing for more.  

Friday night, the infamous Cardamom Monroe drove from Orlando to Tampa to take me out to dinner.  His new home purchase – a grandiose estate that he insists on calling “Lily East” in deference, reverence and homage to yours truly – has successfully passed the appraisal and home inspection stages.  The pathway to house closing is near.  Very exciting!  

Unfortunately as a soon to be new resident of Florida, Cardamom Monroe does not know that driving from Orlando to Tampa on a Friday during rush hour is hell on Earth.  It took him almost 3 hours to drive what usually takes 1.5 hours.  I bided my time waiting for Mr. Cardamom Monroe by doing some major clothes shopping.  My convertible trunk was fully packed by the time Mr. Monroe entered Tampa air space.  Ca-ching!

In his ever present need to “Keep up with La Lily,” Cardamom made some exquisite purchases of his own.  Everyone coast to coast knows that Cardamom Monroe has got style for kilometers and his purchases were excellent.  

After our shopportunities, Mr. Monroe and I went for bad sushi at Zen Bistro Grill + Sushi at International Plaza Mall.  The service was terrible, the food was mediocre to inedible but the Tito’s vodka pineapple jalapeno infusion was TO DIE FOR – so lesson learned that I will only be drinking at this particular sushi restaurant.  

BUT who was later seated at the table next to me, doing some late night sushi dining?  It was Miss Spokesmodel herself!  One of my friends is a model for the Home Shopping Network (I am ALL ABOUT SHOPPING in all forms and mediums).  I haven’t seen her in ages but all of a sudden, Miss Gorgeous Thang gets seated next to me.  Her date was a stunningly hot man.  Two fabulous women having late night sushi with two gorgeous men – it was like we were twins for the evening!  So while the restaurant sucked, I was glad for a killer cocktail and a chance to catch up with a knockout model friend.

Given the late Friday night start, I didn’t go to bed until past 2 a.m. which was unfortunate because I had agreed to do the Tampa Bay AIDS Walk with Ms. Kentucky on Saturday.  This is the second time in two years that we have participated.  When my alarm went off Saturday morning, I let out a shriek of “WHY GOD WHY?” and cursed a blue streak against Ms. Kentucky and her devious ways making me do a charity walk.

I may have been extremely tired but I looked ADORABLE.  Camouflage hat, Prada sunglasses, cute little black and green spandex-y capris and a hot pink extremely flattering top.  One never knows whom one will run into at a charity walk in St. Petersburg, you gotta look cute!  And I was bringing it! 

The actual walk itself is very short – 2.5 miles and the year prior it had only been 1.2 miles while frankly felt like 0.7 miles.  Last year, Ms. Kentucky had declared that this physical activity had earned us brunch.  In my best Jillian Michaels impersonation I scoffed that this “walk” had barely earned the parsley garnish on the lackluster brunch we would later have at Birch and Vine at the Birchwood Hotel.  

So this year I told Ms. Kentucky that in addition to the 2.5 mile walk for charity, we would be doing an additional 2.5 miles before she could eat brunch.  We had to do better at “earning” the right to eat.

Because Ms. Kentucky is a trooper with a positive attitude and a heart of gold, she agreed to do the five miles … but I suspect somewhere in her home is a voodoo doll with my picture taped to it and a hundred pins stabbed into it.

Before the walk, we stopped at the The Hooker Tea Company in St. Pete to hydrate.  I ordered a ginger peach tea which I mistakenly thought would be super yummy like the Republic of Tea’s ginger peach black tea blend.  

BUT OH NO ... OH GRANDMOTHER BEULAH, THIS TEA SUCKED DONKEY BUTT.  It tasted like dirty bark and made me want to cry!  

I dumped two stevia packets in it and that just made it taste like dirty bark with stevia.  But I was extremely thirsty, so I kept drinking it and then fervently complaining to Ms. Kentucky after each and every tastebud-destroying sip.  Did I mention that Ms. Kentucky has the best attitude ever? 

We did the Tampa AIDS Walk and talked with several fabulous people along the way.  In homage to my mother, I acquired a Walgreens backpack full of swag from all the vendors at the start line.  If you need a pill box or a floppy visor, I have eight hundred of them!  

I then made Ms. Kentucky walk further and further.  At about 6 miles, she flopped down on the ground in temporary defeat.  As a good friend, I rushed to her side, snapped a picture of her and texted it to Ms. Toledo who instantly responded with “Is she OK?”  I responded back “I haven’t had a chance to check yet, too busy texting pictures of her dead body to people.” 

Ahhh, it’s a wonder I have any friends at all!

I inspired Ms. Kentucky to get up by doing a Happy Dance of “Do it for brunch! I promise we’ll go to the first restaurant we see!  Get up!  Get Up!” which was the follow up song to my “You gotta REV IT UP” which I said ad nauseam to Ms. Kentucky the last mile of our walk.  The fellow charity walkers found this hysterical as I hopped like a bunny shouting “REV IT UP!  REV IT UP!” – and like a toddler with an audience, I sashayed, shimmied and gave my all for cheap applause.  

Seriously it’s a wonder that Ms. Kentucky didn’t turn around and just leave me there.  But she didn’t – and we had brunch, raised money for charity and walked almost seven miles together by the time we were done, so I call that a WIN-WIN-WIN! 

After I returned home, I showered and lost all motivation to do anything.  I answered some emails and found out that the nicest, older gentleman who I volunteer with had passed away that morning.  He truly was the sweetest man, very unassuming and just content to be of any help he could when we volunteered.  I volunteered with his wife a lot and I said a prayer that she had support around her during this sad time.

I felt like the news about the death just sucked up the little energy I had left in me.  Lack of sleep + too many cocktails + early charity walk + sad news = sleepy Lily.  That’s “New Math” for you oldsters.  I decided a long nap was needed.

When I arose from my coma – ahem nap – I spent an hour on the phone with the man who will be now known as Mr. Crushable – as it is very easy to have a crush on him and he can very easily crush me.  Which is gag-tastic to admit to because I like to pretend I am SuperLily – impervious to all hurts!  But evidently I left my cape of invincibility at the dry cleaners.  

Mr. Crushable is awesome but he’s also like 3 steps forward, 4 steps back.  He tends to be this super cool guy and then after awhile he has to be a douchebag just to remind you not to depend on him or rely on him.  It’s really sad.  

Growing up in a low rent transient apartment complex filled with drunks, addicts and the mentally ill; I have a very low tolerance for inconsistent personalities.  If you are nice one moment, then a raging loon the next; I am going to have my own personal freak out.  I’d rather someone be an ass 100% of the time then be nice 60% of the time and a mean arsehole 40% of the time.  I don’t like to constantly guess if I am with Dr. Jeckyl or Mr. Hyde.  Patiently waiting for the other shoe to drop was never my forte.

But Mr. Crushable was Dr. Jeckyl for the moment and we had a really lovely talk that I enjoyed very much.  

Next on my “Perfect Saturday” agenda was driving down to Madeira Beach to see the man known as “Malibu Ken Doll” ‘s new beach house.  MKD used to live very close by so having to drive 45 minutes to visit him is a slight pain, BUT the reward of being so close to the beach is awesome. 

As I drove out to Madeira Beach, I thought about my phone call with Mr. Crushable.  I thought about my time with my two grandfathers and how I had to focus on the good times versus the overall sadness of the situation.  I wondered if I needed to take that approach with Mr. Crushable – just enjoy the good moments in the actual moment and expect nothing more than that.  But for me that is probably much easier said than done.  

MKD and I hung out at a fabulous dive bar called Screwie Louie’s – which might as well be called Screwie Lily’s.  I watched a silicone blond order a side salad (who is having a side salad at 10:30 p.m.?) as a Sopranos extra older man stared at her, hoping he’d get a kiss or a fondle after she finished her side salad.  But the look on the plastic lady’s face was telling me that the Sopranos extra wasn’t even going to get a hug at the end of this night!  Side salads are rarely ever the prelude to a hot and heavy make out session.  

After cocktails and fun chatter with Joe the Bartender, MKD and I went for a moonlit walk along the beach.  The water was warm and the air was slightly cool – in other words, perfection.  The sand was sooooo fluffy soft.  I enjoyed feeling the tide splash my feet as we walked along the beach carefree and happy.

When I lived in Los Angeles, I dated a guy (a.k.a. Steve the Criminal – because his name was Steve and I found out later on that he was a criminal).  Steve the Criminal lived in a tiny beach cottage in Manhattan Beach.  I loved his little cottage because everything was multi-functional.  The kitchen table folded up into the wall.  He had a futon for both his bed and couch.  Everything in the home could be folded up for quick storage.  The entire house was less than 300 square feet and yet it had everything one would need.

Steve the Criminal and I used to hang out at Hermosa Beach, watch the sunset and go for night walks along the beach.  Although I have lived in Florida for 1000 years, I rarely go walking on the beach at night.  It tends to be beach days – or even sunset watching, but then leave.  Walking along the beach at night with MKD, I was shocked to really realize how little in my entire time in Florida that I had spent at the beach at night.  I really need to take advantage of living in an area with such great beaches.  Life is too short, seize the moment! 

MKD and I sat on the beach after our walk.  There is something so peaceful about hearing waves crashing on the beach.  It was like perfect meditation.  Complete bliss.

And to end my Saturday, before I went to bed I saw pictures from my friend Jason (a.k.a. theinspiration behind my Loopy Vodka cupcake)’s wedding in New York.  Guests had started posting pictures during the reception and it looked like a gorgeous event.  Seeing all the happy faces, I felt like it balanced out hearing about the death earlier in the day.  A reminder that "yes there are endings, but then there are new beginnings too."

I feel like my Saturday was filled with all these great little moments.  It was absolute perfection.  I felt like the entire day was reinforcing my earlier thought about how I should just enjoy the moment in the moment versus thinking too much of tomorrows, the future and “what ifs.”

Sunday morning I woke up and had to pack for my next trip.  Mr. Crushable sent me a text message – Mr. Hyde must now have control of his phone because it was a douchebag text.  I just shook my head – whenever things are good with Mr. Crushable, he has to follow it up with ridiculousness.  Really truly sad, but predictable.

The rest of my Sunday was absolutely spectacular (I’ll blog about my wacky Sunday another time!).  I am going to hold dear to my heart all the wonderful little moments I had this weekend.  So much unbelievable loveliness for one weekend.  I feel truly blessed!  I hope you all had a great weekend as well!  Thank you for reading!