Tuesday, September 2, 2014

A Shopportunity For Everyone and Anyone

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

For my US readers, this is the first day back to work after the Labor Day holiday weekend.  Or as some people refer to it as "Memorial Day weekend."  Those people tend to be ones with short attention spans or calendars frozen on the month of May.  Seriously, I have had like six (OK three?) people tell me "Happy Memorial Day."  Maybe they're just really, really late on their holiday greetings?  To them I say "Happy Easter!"

I will be gradually easing back into the work day after a holiday weekend by only working half a day.  The ever tasky Kiki Von Vellum (who now suddenly has decided he is my personal assistant as well as the Lofty Cardamom Monroe's assistant) has scheduled my appearance at a house inspection for Cardamom Monroe's anticipated new purchase.  Evidently my appearances cutting ribbons at new grocery stores and shopping malls were NOT enough.  My "Boat Show Spokesmodel" skills are also now required at house inspections.  Oh how the fabulous have fallen!  And yes, by "fabulous" I am referring to myself.

This particular house that will be a-inspectin' is a house I fondly have named "Lily East."  Cardamom Monroe thinks I am joking when I say that I am ordering monogrammed towels with "Lily East" emblazoned on them.  Cardamom Monroe is in for a rude awakening.  

Side Note:  I don't really see this as the opportunity to help Cardamom Monroe with his new Floridian home purchase as much as I see it as an opportunity to flirt with more waitstaff in Orlando.  A girl has to have her priorities.  

And if that my mad flirting doesn't turn out, Orlando has different "shop-portunities" than Tampa does (like Cost Plus World Market!) so there's always that.

I was recently in the Twin Cities - that's Minneapolis and St. Paul, Minnesota - to those of you not familiar with the American Midwest.  One of my favorite shopportunistic places there is the deluge of stores along Grand Avenue in St. Paul.  I spent a lovely day with the cool blondie internationally known as "Little Jen" and her newly produced offspring, a young infant boy I have named "Ja'Lily."  

Don't be surprised when "Ja'Lily" becomes the hottest baby boy name of 2015.  You heard it here first!  (Side note:  the baby actually does have a respectable "normal" name, but why be normal?)  

Ja'Lily likes the outdoors and constant movement, so I took on the role of "young mother" (I'm only 987 years old!) and pushed him around in his stroller to keep him from fussing.  People kept smiling at me as I walked around talking to Ja'Lily.  I may need to borrow a baby so strangers will be nice to me.  Just a thought.  

My Fitbit pedometer/activity monitor registered 2.4 miles from my stroller-tastic attempts to create "Ja'Lily Non-Fussy Time," so I was pretty pleased with that since after Ja'Lily fell asleep I ate and drank up a storm while chatting with Little Jen.  Calories galore!

One of the stores, Little Jen, Ja'Lily and I visited is Bibelot - a store I stayed away from as a child because I had the misconceived notion that it was a Christian store.  Bibel, Bible ... yeah maybe I am a dyslexic heathen!  (Not to be confused with Minnesotan singer-songwriter Paul Westerberg's song "Dyslexic Heart.")


After I returned to Tampa, I went to Bibelot's website to check to see if they sold a product I wished I had bought while shopping in the Twin Cities.  (I love to shop ... sigh.)  But they did not (my wallet is happy).  However I did see this product:  a box of matches that says "I think I'll just be happy today."

Now I am all for people being happy.  I think we spend way too little time focusing on our own personal happiness.  (Unless you're me and then you spend a great deal of time and money focusing on your own personal happiness - two vacations booked for 2015, yay!)  

But I am confused what a box of matches paired with a slogan about choosing happiness has in common?  Is this the perfect gift for the sad arsonist in your life?  Today choose happiness AND burning down that vacant barn on the corner?  Is there a gasoline can with the same slogan too?  I mean seriously, what's next?  A prescription vial "cozy" that says "Today, I choose to black out unhappiness"? It just goes to show you that there is a shopportunity for everyone and every occasion!

I hope this Tuesday finds you being the best "You" that you can be ... and I hope that "Best You" is incredibly, over the top happy ... but maybe leave the matches at home!

Happy Tuesday, LilyOnTheLam.com Readers!

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