Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!
Happy Monday! How was your weekend? Mine was absolutely fantastic.
When I was sixteen, my
paternal Grandfather was suffering from Alzheimer’s. In the mornings, it was like his memory had
been wiped clean. I only visited my
grandparents one to three times a year so I did not take it personally that my
Grandfather had no idea who I was. But
it broke my heart that he had zero recognition of my Aunt – his daughter – who
lovingly and faithfully cared for him day in and day out.
However in the evenings, it
was like someone turned on a flashlight in the darkness. My Grandfather would look at me with full
recognition. He had absolute and complete total recall of all of my and my
mother’s major life events. He would
even ask me about things I had long forgotten about, which made me wonder how
much our brain retains of our lives even when we are unaware, He died less than six months after I had last
seen him, but I hold those rare lucid discussions near to my heart.
My maternal Grandfather had
suffered a similar fate. As he lived in
Taiwan, I did not get a chance to see him often during my childhood. On my last trip to see him before he passed
away, I spent a week with him. However he was in a complete fog to all around
him. He did not speak and did not appear
to be cognizant of the world. We took him to his favorite Japanese
restaurant and he seemed to enjoy eating chawan mushi. It made me very happy to see him happy.
However, next we had to stop him when he
quickly used his chopsticks to pick up a golfball size of wasabi and tried to
eat it. The look of pity mixed with
sadness on my mother’s face as she saw her father intellectually and
spiritually wasting away in front of her is a look I wish I could erase from my
own memory.
Fifteen minutes before my
mother and I were leaving to go to the airport to fly from Taiwan back to the United
States, my maternal Grandfather looked up from his wheelchair and focused on my
face. The fog had been lifted and he
said to me in English “thank you.”
I was
overjoyed that the veil of darkness had lifted even for a precious moment and that he could truly see me,
know who I was and know that I was there for him. However I was overcome that it was right before
I was leaving. I had spent over a week
there and before I leave, he finally “wakes”? It didn't seem fair.
But I told myself that this moment - however short - was a gift.
Better to have one moment than no moment at all.
Within five minutes, the fog
had returned and my maternal Grandfather was staring off into space again. I stopped feeling sad about that the lucid moment came right before I was leaving. Instead I offered a thank you to the universe for
this very brief moment with my Grandfather and then I headed to the
airport. It was the last time I saw my
Grandfather before he passed away.
This weekend has made me think a lot about living in the moment and appreciating moments for what they are versus wishing for more.
Friday night, the infamous
Cardamom Monroe drove from Orlando to Tampa to take me out to dinner. His new home purchase – a grandiose estate
that he insists on calling “Lily East” in deference, reverence and homage to
yours truly – has successfully passed the appraisal and home inspection
stages. The pathway to house closing is
near. Very exciting!
Unfortunately as a soon to be new
resident of Florida, Cardamom Monroe does not know that driving from Orlando to
Tampa on a Friday during rush hour is hell on Earth. It took him almost 3
hours to drive what usually takes 1.5 hours.
I bided my time waiting for Mr. Cardamom Monroe by doing some major
clothes shopping. My convertible trunk
was fully packed by the time Mr. Monroe entered Tampa air space. Ca-ching!
In his ever present need to
“Keep up with La Lily,” Cardamom made some exquisite purchases of his own. Everyone coast to coast knows that Cardamom
Monroe has got style for kilometers and his purchases were excellent.
After our shopportunities, Mr. Monroe and I went for bad sushi at Zen Bistro Grill + Sushi at International Plaza Mall. The service was
terrible, the food was mediocre to inedible but the Tito’s vodka pineapple
jalapeno infusion was TO DIE FOR – so lesson learned that I will only be
drinking at this particular sushi restaurant.
BUT who was later seated at the table next to me, doing some late night sushi
dining? It was Miss Spokesmodel herself! One of
my friends is a model for the Home Shopping Network (I am ALL ABOUT SHOPPING in
all forms and mediums). I haven’t seen
her in ages but all of a sudden, Miss Gorgeous Thang gets seated next to
me. Her date was a stunningly hot
man. Two fabulous women having late
night sushi with two gorgeous men – it was like we were twins for the
evening! So while the restaurant sucked,
I was glad for a killer cocktail and a chance to catch up with a knockout model
friend.
Given the late Friday night
start, I didn’t go to bed until past 2 a.m. which was unfortunate because I had
agreed to do the Tampa Bay AIDS Walk with Ms. Kentucky on Saturday. This is the second time in two years that we
have participated. When my alarm went
off Saturday morning, I let out a shriek of “WHY GOD WHY?” and cursed a blue
streak against Ms. Kentucky and her devious ways making me do a charity walk.
I may have been extremely
tired but I looked ADORABLE. Camouflage
hat, Prada sunglasses, cute little black and green spandex-y capris and a hot
pink extremely flattering top. One never
knows whom one will run into at a charity walk in St. Petersburg, you gotta
look cute! And I was bringing it!
The actual walk itself is
very short – 2.5 miles and the year prior it had only been 1.2 miles while
frankly felt like 0.7 miles. Last year, Ms.
Kentucky had declared that this physical activity had earned us brunch. In my best Jillian Michaels impersonation I
scoffed that this “walk” had barely earned the parsley garnish on the
lackluster brunch we would later have at Birch and Vine at the Birchwood
Hotel.
So this year I told Ms. Kentucky
that in addition to the 2.5 mile walk for charity, we would be doing an
additional 2.5 miles before she could eat brunch. We had to do better at “earning” the right to
eat.
Because Ms. Kentucky is a
trooper with a positive attitude and a heart of gold, she agreed to do the five
miles … but I suspect somewhere in her home is a voodoo doll with my picture
taped to it and a hundred pins stabbed into it.
BUT OH NO ... OH GRANDMOTHER BEULAH, THIS TEA
SUCKED DONKEY BUTT. It tasted like dirty
bark and made me want to cry!
I dumped
two stevia packets in it and that just made it taste like dirty bark with
stevia. But I was extremely thirsty, so
I kept drinking it and then fervently complaining to Ms. Kentucky after each
and every tastebud-destroying sip. Did I
mention that Ms. Kentucky has the best attitude ever?
We did the Tampa AIDS Walk and
talked with several fabulous people along the way. In homage to my mother, I acquired a
Walgreens backpack full of swag from all the vendors at the start line. If you need a pill box or a floppy visor, I
have eight hundred of them!
I then made
Ms. Kentucky walk further and further.
At about 6 miles, she flopped down on the ground in temporary
defeat. As a good friend, I rushed to
her side, snapped a picture of her and texted it to Ms. Toledo who instantly
responded with “Is she OK?” I responded
back “I haven’t had a chance to check yet, too busy texting pictures of her dead
body to people.”
Ahhh, it’s a wonder I have
any friends at all!
I inspired Ms. Kentucky to
get up by doing a Happy Dance of “Do it for brunch! I promise we’ll go to the
first restaurant we see! Get up! Get Up!” which was the follow up song to my
“You gotta REV IT UP” which I said ad nauseam to Ms. Kentucky the last mile of
our walk. The fellow charity walkers
found this hysterical as I hopped like a bunny shouting “REV IT UP! REV IT UP!” – and like a toddler with an
audience, I sashayed, shimmied and gave my all for cheap applause.
Seriously it’s a wonder that Ms. Kentucky
didn’t turn around and just leave me there.
But she didn’t – and we had brunch, raised money for charity and walked
almost seven miles together by the time we were done, so I call that a
WIN-WIN-WIN!
After I returned home, I
showered and lost all motivation to do anything. I answered some emails and found out that the
nicest, older gentleman who I volunteer with had passed away that morning. He truly was the sweetest man,
very unassuming and just content to be of any help he could when we
volunteered. I volunteered with his wife
a lot and I said a prayer that she had support around her during this sad time.
I felt like the news about
the death just sucked up the little energy I had left in me. Lack of sleep + too many cocktails + early
charity walk + sad news = sleepy Lily.
That’s “New Math” for you oldsters.
I decided a long nap was needed.
When I arose from my coma –
ahem nap – I spent an hour on the phone with the man who will be now known as Mr.
Crushable – as it is very easy to have a crush on him and he can very easily
crush me. Which is gag-tastic to admit
to because I like to pretend I am SuperLily – impervious to all hurts! But evidently I left my cape of invincibility
at the dry cleaners.
Mr. Crushable is
awesome but he’s also like 3 steps forward, 4 steps back. He tends to be this super cool guy and then
after awhile he has to be a douchebag just to remind you not to depend on him
or rely on him. It’s really sad.
Growing up in a low rent transient
apartment complex filled with drunks, addicts and the mentally ill; I have a
very low tolerance for inconsistent personalities. If you are nice one moment, then a raging loon
the next; I am going to have my own personal freak out. I’d rather someone be an ass 100% of the time
then be nice 60% of the time and a mean arsehole 40% of the time. I don’t like to constantly guess if I am with
Dr. Jeckyl or Mr. Hyde. Patiently
waiting for the other shoe to drop was never my forte.
But Mr. Crushable was Dr.
Jeckyl for the moment and we had a really lovely talk that I enjoyed very much.
Next on my “Perfect
Saturday” agenda was driving down to Madeira Beach to see the man known as
“Malibu Ken Doll” ‘s new beach house.
MKD used to live very close by so having to drive 45 minutes to visit
him is a slight pain, BUT the reward of being so close to the beach is awesome.
As I drove out to Madeira
Beach, I thought about my phone call with Mr. Crushable. I thought about my time with my two grandfathers
and how I had to focus on the good times versus the overall sadness of the situation. I
wondered if I needed to take that approach with Mr. Crushable – just enjoy the
good moments in the actual moment and expect nothing more than that. But for me that is probably much easier said
than done.
MKD and I hung out at a
fabulous dive bar called Screwie Louie’s – which might as well be called Screwie Lily’s. I watched a silicone blond order
a side salad (who is having a side salad at 10:30 p.m.?) as a Sopranos extra
older man stared at her, hoping he’d get a kiss or a fondle after she finished
her side salad. But the look on the
plastic lady’s face was telling me that the Sopranos extra wasn’t even going to
get a hug at the end of this night! Side salads are rarely ever the prelude to a hot and heavy make out session.
After cocktails and fun chatter with Joe the Bartender, MKD and I went for a moonlit
walk along the beach. The water was warm
and the air was slightly cool – in other words, perfection. The sand was sooooo fluffy soft. I enjoyed feeling the tide splash my feet as we walked along the beach carefree and happy.
When I lived in Los Angeles, I dated a guy
(a.k.a. Steve the Criminal – because his name was Steve and I found out later
on that he was a criminal). Steve the Criminal lived in a tiny beach cottage in Manhattan
Beach. I loved his little cottage
because everything was multi-functional.
The kitchen table folded up into the wall. He had a futon for both his bed and couch. Everything in the home could be folded up for quick storage. The entire house was less than 300 square
feet and yet it had everything one would need.
Steve the Criminal and I
used to hang out at Hermosa Beach, watch the sunset and go for night walks
along the beach. Although I have lived
in Florida for 1000 years, I rarely go walking on the beach at night. It tends to be beach days – or even sunset
watching, but then leave. Walking along
the beach at night with MKD, I was shocked to really realize how little in my
entire time in Florida that I had spent at the beach at night. I really need to take advantage of living in
an area with such great beaches. Life is too short, seize the moment!
MKD and I sat on the beach
after our walk. There is something so
peaceful about hearing waves crashing on the beach. It was like perfect meditation. Complete bliss.
And to end my Saturday,
before I went to bed I saw pictures from my friend Jason (a.k.a. theinspiration behind my Loopy Vodka cupcake)’s wedding in New York. Guests had started posting pictures during
the reception and it looked like a gorgeous event. Seeing all the happy faces, I felt like it
balanced out hearing about the death earlier in the day. A reminder that "yes there are endings, but
then there are new beginnings too."
I feel like my Saturday was
filled with all these great little moments.
It was absolute perfection. I felt
like the entire day was reinforcing my earlier thought about how I should just
enjoy the moment in the moment versus thinking too much of tomorrows, the
future and “what ifs.”
Sunday morning I woke up and
had to pack for my next trip. Mr.
Crushable sent me a text message – Mr. Hyde must now have control of his
phone because it was a douchebag text. I
just shook my head – whenever things are good with Mr. Crushable, he has to
follow it up with ridiculousness. Really
truly sad, but predictable.
The rest of my Sunday
was absolutely spectacular (I’ll blog about my wacky Sunday another time!). I am
going to hold dear to my heart all the wonderful little moments I had this
weekend. So much unbelievable loveliness for one
weekend. I feel truly blessed! I hope you all had a great weekend as well! Thank you for reading!
