Jesus Is A Biscuit

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

I have a massive bout of cabin fever lately.  Since for my "day job" I work from home, every now and again I feel the need to be out and about amongst "the people."  So for the past several nights I have been writing from coffee and tea houses around Tampa Bay.  Sunday night was Naga Tea near USF.  Monday night was DI Coffee Bar (Click on their Facebook link here).  Tuesday night was going to be Blind Tiger Cafe in Ybor City, but I ended up at the  much less impressive but large venue Starbucks.  Perhaps you have heard of it?  But don't fear Blind Tiger - I love, love, love your coffee drinks and atmosphere so I will be back soon.

Of course karma kicked me in the teeth for not supporting a fine local business like Blind Tiger Cafe.  About 2 minutes after I sat down at my table - getting myself all situated - plugged in my ancient MacBook Air, charging my cell phone, attaching my external hard drive because I don't have enough memory on the internal hard drive ... I basically looked like I was setting up a command center at Starbucks.  

After I got all "comfortable" with my various cords tethering me to the wall and lap top, a guy walks up to me and makes a sour face.  (Compliments on your resting bitch face, sir!)  On the table next to me is 3 napkins and the paper wrapper to a straw.  Now on my table is a venti cappuccino - hot coffee and a couple napkins.  There is no plastic straw in my hot coffee.  Resting bitch face scowls at me, points to the 3 napkins and paper straw wrapper and says "Are these yours?"

I wanted to say "Seriously?  Do you think I deposit my trash amongst the Starbucks tables like some sort of rabid badger marking my territory?  I mean, come ON!"  But no, I just smiled sweetly and said "Um, no" in a tone that implied that I thought that Resting Bitch Face might be mentally challenged.  

RBF cleared off the table by moving the 3 napkins and paper straw wrapper to another table.  (Way to mark your territory, RBF!)  Then he plopped down basically 2 feet away from me and has spent a ridiculous amount of time making loud slurping sounds as he tries to suck up nonexistent fluids from his empty plastic Starbucks cup.

I should have gone to Blind Tiger Cafe and now Jesus is punishing me ... sigh.  Karmic retribution, party of one.

While this blog post will appear on September 24, 2015, I actually wrote this on September 22nd.  (Blog magic!)  According to my Facebook, today is "Buddha's Return From Heaven Day."  To which I have to first say, none of you bastards got me a Hallmark card for this occasion.  HANG YOUR HEADS IN SHAME!

I frankly had never heard of Buddha's Return from Heaven Day.  I hoped that the occasion would be marked with ice cream cake.  It seems appropriate, right?  Again, according to the Facebook post I was reading - supposedly if you engage in a virtuous action on Buddha's Return from Heaven Day, the act becomes especially powerful and our merit greatly increases.  So on this Buddha's Return From Heaven Day, I am choosing not to smack Resting Bitch Face in the head.  And in return, I think I should win a billion dollar lottery.  Law of attraction, people!  Cosmic ATM.  Winner, winner, karmic dinner!  Let's make this happen!

It was interesting to hear that my good acts would be rewarded on this day, but I am pragmatic enough to know that in this life I need to make my own magic.  And by magic, I mean biscuits.

Yes, you heard me.  Biscuits.

My younger sister lives in Chicago and took me for brunch at a place called "Bang Bang Pie and Biscuits."  Which is the best name for a restaurant EVER.  It has pie.  It has biscuits. What more do you need?  Because I have self-diagnosed early onset Alzheimer's (I'm only 947 years old!), for some reason my neural pathways think the name of the restaurant is "Faster Pussycat, Kill Kill and Biscuits."  (A bastardization of the name of a 1965 movie.)  Sigh.  It's a wonder I can tie my own shoes.

I remember sitting in front of my sister with a giant biscuit on my plate and love in my heart, feeling sad that Tampa Bay did not have a great biscuit restaurant.  Well Tampa has come through for me once again.  I have found a restaurant in Seminole Heights (Tampa), Florida that has better biscuits than Bang Bang Pie and Biscuits- which is a huge compliment because Bang Bang's biscuits and pie are pretty crazy delicious.

In a massive fit of cabin fever, after several agonizing conference calls I decided my Buddha reward was to have an early dinner at Fodder and Shine restaurant in Seminole Heights.  I love Seminole Heights and the recent surge of new fabulous places popping up left and right has only made me love it more.  (Side note:  my beloved Cleanse Apothecary is moving locations November 1, 2015 next to the hip mecca "Rooster and the Till Restaurant" in Seminole Heights.  Check them out!)  

As I am on month 8 of a 13 month sobriety goal, I could not indulge in the fantastic array of cocktails at Fodder and Shine.  So I made due with unsweetened iced tea in a mason jar.  (Is there a better vessel for my beverage?  NO.)

I already knew what I was ordering before I arrived.  The "Cornmeal Fried Chicken Biscuit" which is a thin slice of cornmeal breaded chicken on a "Cathead Biscuit" with house made jam and mahonesa.  Which I later discovered is just a fancy way of saying mayonnaise!  It was a very lovely mayonnaise.  This wasn't Hellman's out of a jar, people!  

I said a quick prayer that a "Cathead Biscuit" does not contain actual cat heads.  (Southern lore says the name came about because the biscuits are the side of a cat's head.  And I will admit the biscuits are super huge.)  At $6 for this giant biscuit with fried chicken, I thought I was getting a tremendous bargain!

Fodder and Shine Fried Chicken Biscuit

I love Southern side dishes, so I also ordered the bacon braised greens.  I find that it's the apple cider vinegar that really sets proper greens apart.  Fodder and Shine's greens were al dente and not cooked to death like most places.  I would have liked maybe about 30 seconds more of cooking, but I quickly became accustomed to their greens and gobbled them up with their housemade hot sauce and lemon juice concoction.

Seasonal bacon-braised greens

Housemade hot sauce and preserved lemon juice - tastiness!

Fodder and Shine does not currently sell these sauces.  They make them only for use in the restaurant.  I hope in the future this will change.  On this particular occasion, I had a very large purse with me.  Like a middle school shoplifter, I contemplated how many bottles of sauce I could smuggle into my purse.  But then I weighed that thought against never having access to the hearty, flaky, buttery, amazing deliciousness of Fodder and Shine's Cathead Biscuits ... and I decided not to pursue a life of crime.  What a waste of a big purse.  Sigh.

In addition to the fried chicken biscuit and the bacon-braised greens, I also had the Cheddar Cheese Sofkee.  I had never heard of "sofkee" before but the menu description said "Florida native porridge of fermented rice grits, cheddar, cream and butter."  Now the menu could have said "Your shoe with cheddar, cream and butter" and I would have said "Yes, let's order that."  I was all aboard the sofkee train!  

For an extra dollar, you can have your sofkee topped with bacon tomato gravy.  Trust me, it is worth spending the extra dollar.  The "bacon tomato gravy" is like a bright, flavorful, freshly made tomato sauce.  It reminded me of trips to Tuscany.  Get it.  Do it. 

Sofkee with bacon tomato gravy

Iced tea in mason jars

I am a rabid fan of the reality television competition show RuPaul's Drag Race.  I am an even more rabid fan of Floridian drag queen Latrice Royale.  On the show, Latrice Royale said his now infamous catchphrase: "Jesus is a biscuit.  Let Him sop you up!"  (Order Latrice's catchphrase t-shirt here!)  Because of my love for Latrice Royale and also love of carbs, my Instagram feed is usually rife with biscuits of all kinds.  The other day, THIS fabulous picture popped up ...

  
I have to say that all of the food at Fodder and Shine was great, but their Cathead biscuit puts all other biscuits to shame.  It is THAT good.  I am putting it out to the universe, that I want to have biscuits at Fodder and Shine with Latrice Royale.  (Law of Attraction, The Secret, Magic Eight Ball, Kickstarter campaign ... whatever it takes, let's make this happen!)

Now as if my delicious Southern meal wasn't enough, I just could not leave Fodder and Shine without trying their Moon Pie Trifle.  (Who doesn't love a good Moon Pie?)  The menu description says it is house made marshmallow fluff, graham cracker crumble and a Cheerwine (soda)-chocolate ganache.  

This dessert was very good - it truly had all the flavors of a fresh Moon Pie.  But it was crazy rich with so much marshmallow fluff.  Now my inner sugar lover is screaming "Shut up, there can never be TOO MUCH marshmallow fluff!"  But trust me, it was very rich and very sweet.  I would have served this trifle with a couple Honey Graham crackers on the side.  Spreading this intoxicating mixture on the crackers would have cut some of the rich sweetness and hey, everybody loves an interactive dessert.  (Or is that just me?)

Now beyond the food - I love the chill, modern decor of Fodder and Shine.  My server was super courteous and attentive.  Better than the service at higher end restaurants, so I especially appreciated the quality of care shown.  The menu had items of various prices.  Some items are surprisingly inexpensive and other items are comparable to other Seminole Heights restaurants.   

I would definitely return (and return and return) to Fodder and Shine restaurant in Seminole Heights, Florida.  If you love a good biscuit or quality Southern food, check them out!
  
P.S. For more tales of biscuits, check out my ham and pimento cheese biscuit at DI Coffee Bar in Tampa, Florida!