Wild About the Wayans Brothers and How Urkel Broke My Heart - Tampa Improv

A truly, hysterical and amazing show with Chaunte Wayans, Marlon Wayans and Shawn Wayans at the Tampa Improv tonight! The Wayans Brothers are playing several shows at the Tampa Improv so if you're near Tampa Bay, snatch up tickets while you can!  We went for the VIP tickets (only $10 extra) which gives you priority seating in the first two rows of tables.  (We had a front row table, which was perfect!)


Unbeknownst to us, our VIP tickets also gave us a photo op with the handsome Wayans Brothers and front of the line access.  Because there were two shows per night, the photo ops had to go very quickly - so unless you had VIP tickets you were not going to be able to get your picture taken with the Wayans Brothers and yes, the Improv staff was checking.


The couple ahead of us either didn't have VIP tickets or were trying to find their yellow vouchers so my pal, Miss LBB and I were the first two in the line for photos.  I had had several cocktails at the show so I tipsily screamed out: "Wait, wait, I need to get in the middle - I need to be in the Wayans Brothers Sandwich for this picture!"  (And in this case "tipsily" means downright intoxicated - I was not the designated driver and oooh those Sweet Tea Vodka Lemonades went down waaaay too smoothly.)  Ummm, NOT my finest hour but I did get a big, happy "Hey There!!" full body contact hug from super sexy Shawn Wayans.  And I am pretty sure that was a "Hey there, Foxy Mama" versus a "Hey there, oh crap this is going to be a long night talking to drunk a$$ fans!"  In my boozy recollection, I am going to classify this night as an amazing success.  I also think that hug entitles me to be Shawn Wayans' new girlfriend.  That's how it works, right?  Right? 

For the early show, ONLY VIP ticket holders were allowed a photo op - sooo glad we got the VIP seats!  They give you these yellow slips and you have to take them with you and surrender them at the photo op - so don't lose them! 

Now, I always hate the way I look in my "brushes with celebrities" photo ops, so I've cut out myself and Miss LBB and here you just have the absolutely delightful Shawn Wayans and Marlon Wayans.  Which if you have found my blog while Googling for Wayans info, you're not here to see a picture of me anyway.  (Check out my Twitter @SouthTampaLily, if you're that curious to see a pic of me.)  By the way "Googling for Wayans" sounds like an amateur sport that should be considered for the next Summer Olympics.  

I spent years "Googling for Wayans" and then a freak ferry boat versus jet ski accident dashed my chances of winning Gold at the Summer Olympics in Des Moines, Iowa.  Oh the tragedy!  

In the cropped pictures below are the very sexy Shawn Wayans and the very foxy Marlon Wayans (who in his act said he was not fine, he was f*ckable - to which all the ladies in the crowd vehemently disagreed - they shouted that he was both FINE AND F*CKABLE.)  I think their 2nd niece Chaunte Wayans should introduce Marlon Wayans with that line for all future shows: "You know him from the movie `White Chicks' - he's fine, he's f*ckable, he's MARLON WAYANS!"  

Side note:  Marlon Wayans' birthday is the day before mine.  I think this also makes me an honorary Wayans.  I am 97% sure that is how it works.  Can a sister get some love, Keenan Ivory Wayans?     

Sexy, sexy, sexy Shawn Wayans!

Yep, that's my breast pressed against super sassy Marlon Wayans and
Shawn Wayans' hand on my shoulder - all in all, a good night!

Miss LBB and I were surprised to see actor Jaleel White (a.k.a. Urkel from Family Matters) at the Tampa show as well.  What the heck is Urkel doing in Tampa Bay?  Is he a Wayans entourage member?  And if so, how do I sign up for that gig?


Side Note:  After I published this blog post, I was reminded by one of my UK readers that not everyone may know who the Wayans Brothers are and definitely not everyone across the globe knows who "Urkel" is ... so here's some clips to get you up to speed ...    


Marlon and Shawn Wayans in their movie "White Chicks" -

Jaleel White as "Urkel" on "Family Matters" ...

Back to Urkel:  Unfortunately, Jaleel White would not do a photo op with Miss LBB and myself.  Um hello, I just got a full body contact hug from Mr. Sexy Shawn Wayans and I totally mashed my body against Mr. Marlon Wayans and Shawn Wayans for a photo op - and now Jaleel White is saying "no" to a picture with me?  


Sweetheart, do you know who I am?  I am freaking Lily On The Lam - an international sensation in my OWN mind.  I have over 23,500 blog hits ... I think that makes me basically better than Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt combined, right?  Now get your Urkel ass over here, wrap yourself around my tipsy body and say "CHEESE!"  Um, why are you calling Security?


I told Jaleel White that he broke my heart with his refusal to do a picture with Miss LBB and I.  Yes, you heard it here first - Urkel broke my heart.  I am pretty sure that is the 10th level of hell - like in Greek Mythology where every day Urkel breaks my heart and then overnight my heart repairs itself, only to have Urkel break my heart again the next day.  It's like Prometheus a la Urkel.  (And I'm talking about the mythological character not the recent Ridley Scott movie.)  By the way, I'll be pitching "Prometheus a la Urkel" as the next sequel to the Liam Neeson Titans movies.  Clash of the Titans.  Wrath of the Titans.  And now ... "Heartbreak of the Urkels, oh and some Titans too."  I predict it will be the Feel Good Hit of 2013.      


Miss LBB told Jaleel White that she watched every episode of his season of "Dancing with the Stars."  I stood there mute because I had no clue that Jaleel White had been on "Dancing with the Stars."  I had a moral dilemma - do I try to kiss up to Jaleel and LIE and say I too had watched "Dancing with the Stars"?  Would this help butter him up and perhaps coax a photo op out of him?  Could I really lie to Urkel?  


The answer, my friends, is "no."  I am simply not one who could lie to Jaleel White and I absolutely could not, would not, must not lie to Urkel!  So instead I told him I had never seen a single episode but hopefully he respects my honesty in saying that.  Jaleel White looked at me with honesty and trustworthy eyes and he said he did (respect me for my honesty).  And I am going to take Mr. Jaleel White (a.k.a. Urkel) at his word - and I am not going to assume that he was saying whatever he could to shut up the inebriated chick in front of him.  (That chick?  Me, of course.)  


I am also going to give Mr. Jaleel White the benefit of the doubt by assuming he didn't want to do a picture with us because then the large crowd around us would also want to do pictures.  Or maybe he did not want to hog the Wayans Brothers' spotlight.  Or perhaps I was just too sexy for Urkel ... perhaps Jaleel knew that if he took a picture with Miss LBB and I that he would fall hopelessly under the spell that is Lily On The Lam - international megastar and then it would be his heart - and Urkel's heart - that would get broken.  Wise move, Mr. White.  As the absolutely amazing band Augustana sings: "Either way, I'll break your heart some day."  And if you don't believe me, I have the Augustana tour t-shirt that says those exact words.  I'll wear it for you.  Consider yourself warned of future heart break, Mr. White.  I bet you're regretting missing that photo op now, aren't you?


I must give major thanks to Miss Chaunte Wayans who had Marlon and Shawn Wayans individually personalize an autograph for me.  It was very sweet of her to do and much, much, much appreciated.  Although I feel slightly guilty that whenever I heard Chaunte's name, the little insane voice in my head started singing "Sashay, Shaunte  ... Shaunte, Shaunte, Shaunte ..." from RuPaul's song "Supermodel - You Better Work."  I was wearing 6 inch cheetah print wedge heels to the Wayans Brothers show, so I was feeling a bit RuPaul Amazonian-esque anyway.  Supermodel of the world!    


The Wayans Brothers' Autographs:  Hopefully these are their actual autographs ... or who knows, maybe Jaleel White is in their entourage to give counterfeit Wayans' Brothers autographs?  Ohhhh I'm on to you now, Urkel!

Who knew the Wayans Brothers had a comic book? $20 at the Merch Table

My name plus a heart and a smiley face?  I think that makes me an honorary Wayans!

OK one of the Wayans Brothers misspelled my name, but I still adore you!  ;-)

So here are the lessons learned from this evening at the Wayans Brothers' Show at the fantastic Tampa Improv:


1)  Get your a$$ to a Wayans Brothers show.  They were 10,000%, freaking absolutely fantastic.  I know the entire Wayans Family are comedic geniuses, but holy cow man - this show just grabbed me and said "You thought you knew how freaking funny we were, well you didn't know jack!  Soak up that Wayans' Wonderfulness and laugh your freaking arse off!!"  While I think Shawn is incredibly sexy, I think Marlon's comedy set was the best of the three tonight.  He just brings it, brings it hard, brings it even harder and leaves you wondering what comedy freight train just ran over you 12,000 times.  I was gasping for air for most of the night.  There is nothing like an evening of tremendous belly-aching, face-hurting laughter.  The Wayans Brothers brought the house down!


2)  Don't lie to Jaleel White.  You'll only hate yourself and you still probably won't get a photo op.


3)  Keep your eye on Chaunte Wayans.  She is tremendously funny and you'll get to say "I saw her in a small club before she was wildly famous."  (Just try to resist from singing RuPaul at her.)


4)  Last but most important - Urkel - Either way, I'll break your heart someday.  And until then, I am going to Photoshop you in every picture I am in.    


To my Lily On the Lam readers, while you're chewing on the above amazing life lessons, here's some RuPaul and Augustana for you.  Consider it my gift to you in lieu of money or sexual favors.   And to quote Miss Ru herself: "You better work!"