Hello LilyOnTheLam.com Readers!
If you're a frequent reader of Lily On The Lam, you may recall my blog post: "Canada, You're On Notice!" In this blog post, I mentioned that as part of Blogger.com, I receive statistics on my LilyOnTheLam.com readership. One of the stat reports are readers by country.
In "Canada, You're On Notice," I complained that I was shocked that my neighbor to the North was only 7th in top country readership of Lily On The Lam (1- US, 2- UK, 3- Germany, 4 - Ukraine, 5 - Russia, 6 - China, 7 - Canada.) I informed Canada that sometime this summer I would be popping up in an undisclosed location to make sure the cold-hearted Canucks start loving some Lily On The Lam. I will be invading Canada!! I warned Canada that they needed to increase their readership ASAP or suffer my LilyOnTheLam.com wrath!
Since my June 2nd announcement, China has taken the #5 top readers by country spot from Russia and the Netherlands are coming very close to taking the #7 spot from Canada. I have been to the Netherlands four times, so it is no wonder their great people are reading Lily On The Lam. I am practically a Netherlands icon. Tulips, windmills, wooden shoes, Anne Frank and ... Lily On The Lam! Amsterdam is the Venice of the North and one of my favorite cities. Love you, Netherlands!
But Canada - tsk tsk, you are my neighbor - shouldn't you be #2 in overall top readership of LilyOnTheLam.com next to America? (And don't even get me started on you, MEXICO!) Canada, you are about to lose your 7th place ranking to the Netherlands! Was my cautionary blog post not enough for you? I am very disappointed!
A ray of Canadian hope arrived this week via my Twitter feed (@SouthTampaLily). The guitar player (a Godin Archtop guitar, to be exact) for the Toronto, Canada three piece band Ginger Grey, Philip Porado, tweeted me - and I quote - "Your blog is a riot!" A riot. Yes, yes indeed ... LilyOnTheLam.com is a riot. No truer words have ever been Tweeted.
Hmmm ... so I tell Canada it better step up its readership and then a talented Canadian guitar player joins the ranks of my readership. Coincidence? I THINK NOT! Obviously Canada has started listening ...
This is a good start Canada, but the Netherlands is hot on your trail. I expect you to be in the top FOUR countries by readership by the end of 2012. That is your challenge! And in exchange, I will post a minimum of six Canadian blog posts based on my upcoming spy mission/invasion/vacation to an undisclosed city in Canada at an unannounced time this summer. (Stalkers are everywhere, so I cannot give out too many details!) YOU ARE ON NOTICE ONCE AGAIN, CANADA!
Canada, thank you for offering up one of your talented musicians to read my blog - but I am greedy. I want ALL of your citizens reading LilyOnTheLam.com. I also want your inexpensive prescription drugs, your universal healthcare system, your native son Ryan Reynolds and I want to know why I should like poutine. But first, I'll start with having all Canadian citizens reading LilyOnTheLam.com and then Ryan Reynolds ... just wanted to make sure you knew my priorities, Canada.
While you are mulling over my proposition (a.k.a. DEMANDS), Canada - you can download Ginger Grey's song "Slip Away" and "Now It's Time" for FREE by clicking the song title links. Singer Martha Porado's voice reminds me of a jazzier, kickier version of Maude Maggart (who may be better known for her more famous sister, Fiona Apple.)
Side Note: I am crazy excited that after 7 years, Fiona Apple has a new album and a tour. I already have my ticket!
Canada, don't settle for your current ranking of 7th place in readership by country. The Ukraine is beating you, Canada! And you're about to get pushed to 8th place by the Netherlands! The Netherlands! You have Maple Syrup and Hot Hockey Players - don't let the Netherlands beat you!
It is time to summon your national pride and read some LilyOnTheLam.com blog posts. Be a Canuck patriot!
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