Happy Thursday, LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!
It is Day Four of "Ohhhhhh America" week - places and things that make me shake my head in shame, sorrow or disappointment (and an occasional thing that makes me smile - like yesterday's post on FOAMHENGE.) I am shaking it up by having a "New Product Wednesday" product review on a THURSDAY instead of a Wednesday. (Can you handle it?)
I am crazy exhausted from my new job. I feel like I am running my own personal sleep deprivation study. I was supposed to start conference calls at 5:30 a.m. today and I just could not do it. I got up and rescheduled the call with my European counterparts and then went back to bed. I had hit the wall and I needed sleep.
Tuesday night, I met Ms. Wrigleyville for yet another awesome restaurant she had recommended to me - The Green Mint Asian Grill in Clearwater. I will write a post about this super terrific place to get a Bahn Mi sandwich another time. It is in the same strip mall as "The Fresh Market" grocery store. This is important to note for the following reason ...
On Sunday, I had made the absolute sacrifice and woke up early (on a weekend!) to drive to Orlando to meet Mr. Cardamom Monroe for breakfast. Mr. CM's realtor had mentioned that the Las Vegas restaurant Hash House A Go Go had opened in Orlando. I convinced Mr. CM that we needed to go there and see just how big "monster portions" is ("Ohhhhhhhh America"). I will be blogging about this restaurant in a post I will title "Hash House A NO NO."
When I set off to drive from Tampa Bay to Orlando, I was sniffling like crazy. When I don't get enough sleep, my nose starts running. (LilyOnTheLam Fun Fact!) I knew it was a bad idea, but I popped a blue Benadryl to combat my nasal drip. (In Australia, Benadryl is only cough syrup not allergy pills. I learned this while traveling around Turkey with a bunch of Aussies. Australian Fun Fact!)
Benadryl makes me very groggy.
Do you know what's not smart to take when you're driving? Something that makes you groggy! (Not So Fun Fact!)
I met up with Mr. Cardamom Monroe and we "a-went went" to Hash House A Go Go. The portions were basically 900 pounds of food each. ("Ohhhhhh America!") I picked at the carb-tastic platter, but it was overly spicy and not so good ... although I am quite sure I probably still ate 2000 calories worth before I put down the fork.
Then Mr. CM and I walked around Lake Ivanhoe, trying to burn off the caloric gluttony. It was very hot. I was feeling bloated, stuffed and sweaty. Sooooo not sexy!
Mr. CM then had to head to the airport and I was back in the car to head home to Tampa Bay. The combination of Benadryl, fatty food and the hot sun was NOT good. When I had about 35 minutes left of my drive to go, my eyes started fluttering.
I was literally falling asleep behind the wheel in the middle of the day.
If I had more than 35 minutes to go, I would have pulled over and slept in my teeny tiny backseat.
Frankly, I should have pulled over anyway. The last leg of the drive was the slowest, most painful part! I kept slapping my face. I am sure I was quite the crazy sight for other people on the road.
What was worse was that not only was I falling asleep while driving but I was also intensely craving brownie pillow cookies.
Like my blog post about cake in a pie crust, The Fresh Market grocery store sells sugar cookies that have a layer of brownie inside. (Ohhhhhh America!) I hadn't had a brownie pillow cookie in years, but as I was close to driving off the road I was seriously jonesin' for some cookies.
Need for sleep outweighed need for cookies however. I drove straight home and it was immediately nap time for LilyOnTheLam.
So on Tuesday night after having a lovely dinner with Ms. Wrigleyville, I couldn't just drive home when I was steps away from The Fresh Market grocery store.
Nooooo .... I needed to buy some BROWNIE PILLOW COOKIES.
Well karma smacked me in the face for wanting some sweet, sweet, brownie inside a cookie, sugar cookies.
While I was in the grocery store, a four car accident happened down the road. So by the time I was driving home, I was at a dead stop in traffic. I drove three blocks in 45 minutes. I was getting road rage!
I had an evening conference call scheduled with my China team member and I just watched the clock slowly tick by. Luckily some cops started directing traffic and I off-roaded over a median (probably not a good idea in a low convertible!). I made it home right before my conference call started. Success!
I paid a high price for wanting cookies! (And between you and me, they weren't as good as I remembered! I still ate some anyway!)
The lesson to be learned here is "stay away from cookies!" If being stuck in traffic for want of cookies did not teach me this lesson, this following horrific tale will.
I was shopping at Whole Foods grocery store for ingredients for a cooking contest/Bourbon party. (Did I happen to mention I won second place?) I loaded up my cart with all the fancy ingredients but then I spotted something surprising on the shelf ...
Lemon Broccoli cookies.
What the what?
Bitsy's Brainfood Lemon Broccoli Smart Cookies.
Um, they don't sound so smart to me.
Lemon BROCCOLI cookies? I like lemon. I like broccoli. I like cookies. I like lemon cookies. I like lemon and broccoli. But Lemon Broccoli Cookies?
Next to these cookies were Orange Chocolate Beet "Smart" cookies.
And then Zucchini Gingerbread Carrot Smart Cookies.
I don't know what you're thinking, but I am thinking about a TASTE OFF COOKIE COMPETITION. Tell Bitsy my brain is thinking a taste test is needed!
One particularly rough day at work, I decided to alleviate my stress with the smart cookie taste test. I whipped out the lemon broccoli cookies first. Might as well go big or go home. Time to taste the scariest sounding one.
The lemon broccoli cookies were beige-gray-brownish sadness in alphabet shapes. I wanted to spell out "U-G-H."
I put one piece in my mouth and cried out "WHY GOD, WHY?"
I seriously thought I had accidentally put a cat treat in my mouth. It was dry. It was mealy. And it tasted like hell.
The first bite was very lemony. The after taste was pure dirt and broccoli. If misery and shame had a flavor, this would be it. I threw out the rest of the small bag. I wouldn't wish these cookies on my worst frenemy.
I really didn't know if I could finish this three cookie taste test. That was how bad the first bite of lemon broccoli cookies was ... it zapped my will to live (or even worse, my will to eat!)
I went next to the Orange Chocolate Beet cookies. These were better but still had the "what the heck is wrong with these cookies?" aftertaste. If stuck on a desert island with the choice of eating these cookies or sand, I would eat these cookies first.
I still threw out the rest of the bag. Blech.
On to cookie #3 - the zucchini gingerbread carrot cookies. I actually had high hopes for these. I like zucchini bread. I like gingerbread. I like carrot cake. These are all good flavors. Certainly cookie #3 had to be the winner, right?
Ohhhh how wrong, wrong, wrong I was. These didn't taste like zucchini. These didn't taste like gingerbread. These didn't taste like carrot. These tasted like betrayal, anger and insanity. I wanted to spit them out. They were not as noxious as the lemon broccoli cookies, but they still made me want to cry.
I'm all about trying to sneak in some health into a snack. I love a Greek yogurt or cottage cheese based dip versus a fatty sour cream or mayo-laden one. I like a turkey meatloaf chock full of grated vegetables. But these darn cookies were hellishness in alphabet form!
So if you're keeping score, full sugar cookies caused me to get stuck in traffic and "smart" cookies made me want to hurl.
Cookies are evil.
Better to stick with pie.
(Or my step-father would say stick with Trader Joe's Cat-shaped Cookies for People.)
But avoid the cake in a pie crust.
These are the important life lessons I have learned while creating my "Ohhhhhh America" series of blog posts.
I hope you enjoyed Day Four, there will be three more "Ohhhhhh America posts" for your head-shaking enjoyment this week!
As always, thank you for reading!
It is Day Four of "Ohhhhhh America" week - places and things that make me shake my head in shame, sorrow or disappointment (and an occasional thing that makes me smile - like yesterday's post on FOAMHENGE.) I am shaking it up by having a "New Product Wednesday" product review on a THURSDAY instead of a Wednesday. (Can you handle it?)
I am crazy exhausted from my new job. I feel like I am running my own personal sleep deprivation study. I was supposed to start conference calls at 5:30 a.m. today and I just could not do it. I got up and rescheduled the call with my European counterparts and then went back to bed. I had hit the wall and I needed sleep.
Tuesday night, I met Ms. Wrigleyville for yet another awesome restaurant she had recommended to me - The Green Mint Asian Grill in Clearwater. I will write a post about this super terrific place to get a Bahn Mi sandwich another time. It is in the same strip mall as "The Fresh Market" grocery store. This is important to note for the following reason ...
On Sunday, I had made the absolute sacrifice and woke up early (on a weekend!) to drive to Orlando to meet Mr. Cardamom Monroe for breakfast. Mr. CM's realtor had mentioned that the Las Vegas restaurant Hash House A Go Go had opened in Orlando. I convinced Mr. CM that we needed to go there and see just how big "monster portions" is ("Ohhhhhhhh America"). I will be blogging about this restaurant in a post I will title "Hash House A NO NO."
When I set off to drive from Tampa Bay to Orlando, I was sniffling like crazy. When I don't get enough sleep, my nose starts running. (LilyOnTheLam Fun Fact!) I knew it was a bad idea, but I popped a blue Benadryl to combat my nasal drip. (In Australia, Benadryl is only cough syrup not allergy pills. I learned this while traveling around Turkey with a bunch of Aussies. Australian Fun Fact!)
Benadryl makes me very groggy.
Do you know what's not smart to take when you're driving? Something that makes you groggy! (Not So Fun Fact!)
I met up with Mr. Cardamom Monroe and we "a-went went" to Hash House A Go Go. The portions were basically 900 pounds of food each. ("Ohhhhhh America!") I picked at the carb-tastic platter, but it was overly spicy and not so good ... although I am quite sure I probably still ate 2000 calories worth before I put down the fork.
Then Mr. CM and I walked around Lake Ivanhoe, trying to burn off the caloric gluttony. It was very hot. I was feeling bloated, stuffed and sweaty. Sooooo not sexy!
Mr. CM then had to head to the airport and I was back in the car to head home to Tampa Bay. The combination of Benadryl, fatty food and the hot sun was NOT good. When I had about 35 minutes left of my drive to go, my eyes started fluttering.
I was literally falling asleep behind the wheel in the middle of the day.
If I had more than 35 minutes to go, I would have pulled over and slept in my teeny tiny backseat.
Frankly, I should have pulled over anyway. The last leg of the drive was the slowest, most painful part! I kept slapping my face. I am sure I was quite the crazy sight for other people on the road.
What was worse was that not only was I falling asleep while driving but I was also intensely craving brownie pillow cookies.
Like my blog post about cake in a pie crust, The Fresh Market grocery store sells sugar cookies that have a layer of brownie inside. (Ohhhhhh America!) I hadn't had a brownie pillow cookie in years, but as I was close to driving off the road I was seriously jonesin' for some cookies.
Need for sleep outweighed need for cookies however. I drove straight home and it was immediately nap time for LilyOnTheLam.
So on Tuesday night after having a lovely dinner with Ms. Wrigleyville, I couldn't just drive home when I was steps away from The Fresh Market grocery store.
Nooooo .... I needed to buy some BROWNIE PILLOW COOKIES.
Well karma smacked me in the face for wanting some sweet, sweet, brownie inside a cookie, sugar cookies.
While I was in the grocery store, a four car accident happened down the road. So by the time I was driving home, I was at a dead stop in traffic. I drove three blocks in 45 minutes. I was getting road rage!
I had an evening conference call scheduled with my China team member and I just watched the clock slowly tick by. Luckily some cops started directing traffic and I off-roaded over a median (probably not a good idea in a low convertible!). I made it home right before my conference call started. Success!
I paid a high price for wanting cookies! (And between you and me, they weren't as good as I remembered! I still ate some anyway!)
The lesson to be learned here is "stay away from cookies!" If being stuck in traffic for want of cookies did not teach me this lesson, this following horrific tale will.
I was shopping at Whole Foods grocery store for ingredients for a cooking contest/Bourbon party. (Did I happen to mention I won second place?) I loaded up my cart with all the fancy ingredients but then I spotted something surprising on the shelf ...
Lemon Broccoli cookies.
What the what?
Bitsy's Brainfood Lemon Broccoli Smart Cookies.
Um, they don't sound so smart to me.
Lemon BROCCOLI cookies? I like lemon. I like broccoli. I like cookies. I like lemon cookies. I like lemon and broccoli. But Lemon Broccoli Cookies?
Next to these cookies were Orange Chocolate Beet "Smart" cookies.
And then Zucchini Gingerbread Carrot Smart Cookies.
I don't know what you're thinking, but I am thinking about a TASTE OFF COOKIE COMPETITION. Tell Bitsy my brain is thinking a taste test is needed!
One particularly rough day at work, I decided to alleviate my stress with the smart cookie taste test. I whipped out the lemon broccoli cookies first. Might as well go big or go home. Time to taste the scariest sounding one.
The lemon broccoli cookies were beige-gray-brownish sadness in alphabet shapes. I wanted to spell out "U-G-H."
I put one piece in my mouth and cried out "WHY GOD, WHY?"
I seriously thought I had accidentally put a cat treat in my mouth. It was dry. It was mealy. And it tasted like hell.
The first bite was very lemony. The after taste was pure dirt and broccoli. If misery and shame had a flavor, this would be it. I threw out the rest of the small bag. I wouldn't wish these cookies on my worst frenemy.
I really didn't know if I could finish this three cookie taste test. That was how bad the first bite of lemon broccoli cookies was ... it zapped my will to live (or even worse, my will to eat!)
I went next to the Orange Chocolate Beet cookies. These were better but still had the "what the heck is wrong with these cookies?" aftertaste. If stuck on a desert island with the choice of eating these cookies or sand, I would eat these cookies first.
I still threw out the rest of the bag. Blech.
On to cookie #3 - the zucchini gingerbread carrot cookies. I actually had high hopes for these. I like zucchini bread. I like gingerbread. I like carrot cake. These are all good flavors. Certainly cookie #3 had to be the winner, right?
Ohhhh how wrong, wrong, wrong I was. These didn't taste like zucchini. These didn't taste like gingerbread. These didn't taste like carrot. These tasted like betrayal, anger and insanity. I wanted to spit them out. They were not as noxious as the lemon broccoli cookies, but they still made me want to cry.
I'm all about trying to sneak in some health into a snack. I love a Greek yogurt or cottage cheese based dip versus a fatty sour cream or mayo-laden one. I like a turkey meatloaf chock full of grated vegetables. But these darn cookies were hellishness in alphabet form!
So if you're keeping score, full sugar cookies caused me to get stuck in traffic and "smart" cookies made me want to hurl.
Cookies are evil.
Better to stick with pie.
(Or my step-father would say stick with Trader Joe's Cat-shaped Cookies for People.)
But avoid the cake in a pie crust.
These are the important life lessons I have learned while creating my "Ohhhhhh America" series of blog posts.
I hope you enjoyed Day Four, there will be three more "Ohhhhhh America posts" for your head-shaking enjoyment this week!
As always, thank you for reading!
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