Happy Tuesday, LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!
It's only Tuesday and this week is already kicking my arse. Monday started at 5:30 a.m. with conference calls until 6 p.m. and then 8 p.m. - 10 p.m. Only to turn around and start my day at 5:15 a.m. today with more calls. Seriously people, just because there are 24 hours in a day does not mean I need to be doing conference calls every minute of every hour of said day!
However maybe it's the lack of sleep talking (OK most likely it is the lack of sleep talking), but I have felt such joy lately.
There have been several events that could be seen as discouraging but yet each day I manage to get back up again (at an ungodly hour), stare my challenges in the face and say "Bring it!"
In my new job it is like learning surgery in German (a metaphor I keep using over and over again) ... and here's a secret between you and me ... I absolutely, positively HATE feeling stupid. I derive a great deal of my confidence and "perceived power" in being smart, capable and dependable. So to be put in a situation where everything is new, strange and hard to comprehend, it is like mental warfare on the highest level.
However I am like a rubber band, you can only hold me down so long before I snap back and jump up higher. (Please, no one look up the symptoms for manic depression - PUH-LEASE, PUH-LEASE!)
So I am trying to "roll with it" - to embrace my lack of knowledge and applaud the slowly more frequent moments when I am truly getting and understanding "it."
And I am trying to see the situations I am being thrown into as challenges to grab onto and opportunities to shine versus a less positive attitude of "Stop throwing work on me when I am already drowning!"
Attitude for me is like setting your on-board NAV system and pointing your car in the correct direction ... the road might be bumpy, but at least you're starting off on the right foot ... or wheel ... or rickshaw?
When I recently saw Mary Lambert in concert, I snapped the following picture with my iPhone ...
It's a blurry picture and there's a hand in the middle of it ... but if I were going to title this picture I would name it "Joy."
I actually think in this particular moment Mary Lambert was laughing because the offstage fan kept blowing wisps of hair into her mouth as she tried to sing; but when I look at the picture all I see is JOY.
No self-consciousness. No annoyance with the drunken patrons at the back of the club talking much too loudly for a concert where a woman sings about crying on Sundays. No fear. No living in the past. No waiting for tomorrow. Just a pure expression of happiness and joy in the current moment. Present. Focused. Laughing. Experiencing.
Joy.
When I look at this picture, I also think of the Omar Khayyam quote: "Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life."
I am doing some very heavy lifting in my new job - spiritually, emotionally and it's oh so physically tiring. But it also reminds me how strong I am, how determined, how focused and how resilient. As Eleanor Roosevelt said "A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water."
Every day I feel pressured, stressed and challenged. But also every day, I stop and take a moment to feel grateful for the opportunities that have literally fallen at my feet like rose petals.
I didn't ask to take this new role, but I know many people who would have killed to have had my promotion.
I don't enjoy feeling dumb and out of the loop, but I appreciate the opportunity to learn and grow.
I really really wish I could sleep in again as I once used to ... starting my day during "Farmers' Hours" is a hard adjustment.
But I am proud that I keep doing it day after day, trying to stay positive and focused.
And knowing that these challenges cannot, will not, defeat me; brings me great joy and pride in myself. Laughing at adversity and rising above it is what helps me feel true joy in every single moment.
And this moment is my life.
It's only Tuesday and this week is already kicking my arse. Monday started at 5:30 a.m. with conference calls until 6 p.m. and then 8 p.m. - 10 p.m. Only to turn around and start my day at 5:15 a.m. today with more calls. Seriously people, just because there are 24 hours in a day does not mean I need to be doing conference calls every minute of every hour of said day!
However maybe it's the lack of sleep talking (OK most likely it is the lack of sleep talking), but I have felt such joy lately.
There have been several events that could be seen as discouraging but yet each day I manage to get back up again (at an ungodly hour), stare my challenges in the face and say "Bring it!"
In my new job it is like learning surgery in German (a metaphor I keep using over and over again) ... and here's a secret between you and me ... I absolutely, positively HATE feeling stupid. I derive a great deal of my confidence and "perceived power" in being smart, capable and dependable. So to be put in a situation where everything is new, strange and hard to comprehend, it is like mental warfare on the highest level.
However I am like a rubber band, you can only hold me down so long before I snap back and jump up higher. (Please, no one look up the symptoms for manic depression - PUH-LEASE, PUH-LEASE!)
So I am trying to "roll with it" - to embrace my lack of knowledge and applaud the slowly more frequent moments when I am truly getting and understanding "it."
And I am trying to see the situations I am being thrown into as challenges to grab onto and opportunities to shine versus a less positive attitude of "Stop throwing work on me when I am already drowning!"
Attitude for me is like setting your on-board NAV system and pointing your car in the correct direction ... the road might be bumpy, but at least you're starting off on the right foot ... or wheel ... or rickshaw?
When I recently saw Mary Lambert in concert, I snapped the following picture with my iPhone ...
It's a blurry picture and there's a hand in the middle of it ... but if I were going to title this picture I would name it "Joy."
I actually think in this particular moment Mary Lambert was laughing because the offstage fan kept blowing wisps of hair into her mouth as she tried to sing; but when I look at the picture all I see is JOY.
No self-consciousness. No annoyance with the drunken patrons at the back of the club talking much too loudly for a concert where a woman sings about crying on Sundays. No fear. No living in the past. No waiting for tomorrow. Just a pure expression of happiness and joy in the current moment. Present. Focused. Laughing. Experiencing.
Joy.
When I look at this picture, I also think of the Omar Khayyam quote: "Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life."
I am doing some very heavy lifting in my new job - spiritually, emotionally and it's oh so physically tiring. But it also reminds me how strong I am, how determined, how focused and how resilient. As Eleanor Roosevelt said "A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water."
Every day I feel pressured, stressed and challenged. But also every day, I stop and take a moment to feel grateful for the opportunities that have literally fallen at my feet like rose petals.
I didn't ask to take this new role, but I know many people who would have killed to have had my promotion.
I don't enjoy feeling dumb and out of the loop, but I appreciate the opportunity to learn and grow.
I really really wish I could sleep in again as I once used to ... starting my day during "Farmers' Hours" is a hard adjustment.
But I am proud that I keep doing it day after day, trying to stay positive and focused.
And knowing that these challenges cannot, will not, defeat me; brings me great joy and pride in myself. Laughing at adversity and rising above it is what helps me feel true joy in every single moment.
And this moment is my life.
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