The Autumnal Nerd: Trader Joe's Butternut Squash and Creamed Spinach Gratin

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

For the record, I am a nerd.  A nerd for all seasons, in fact.  For today, I am an autumnal nerd.  I just returned home from a wonderful family reunion in honor of my father's birthday in Chicago, Illinois.  

Upon returning home, my refrigerator and cupboards were bare.  A trip to my beloved Trader Joe's was required!  This is my favorite time of year at Trader Joe's - PUMPKIN SEASON.  When Trader Joe's brings out everything and anything in PUMPKIN FLAVOR.  

I decided that everything I would buy at Trader Joe's would need to have a pumpkin or autumnal theme.  I am such a nerd!  But I have been having a blast trying all these new pumpkin products!  So stay tuned to LilyOnTheLam.com because I will be posting several Trader Joe's product reviews in the next couple weeks!

My first Trader Joe's product reviews is one of my absolute favorite autumnal products:  The Butternut Squash and Creamed Spinach Gratin.  The package describes it as a spinach lasagna but with butternut squash instead of noodles.

The refrigerated food item does not look as pretty as the picture on the box, but the taste is delicious.  Al dente, fresh tasting butternut squash cut into long ribbons with a tasty, creamy spinach filling inbetween with a hint of nutmeg.  It is perfect hearty food for cold weather (or in my case 70 degree weather in Florida).  Like the packaging says, it is good for both a vegetarian entree or a side dish.  I could eat pans and pans of this delicious, hearty stuff!  

Well done, Trader Joe's!  You've made this autumnal nerd's stomach very happy!  This product may get a C for looks but an A+ for flavor!

Teachable Moments

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

I hope you have been enjoying the plethora of blog posts I have been writing lately.  After avoiding my blog for a good part of 2015, I am trying to make up for it before the holiday season begins.  

Now if you're a regular LilyOnTheLam.com reader, you may know that I tend to be cynical, sarcastic, tongue in cheek, self-deprecating and yet egomaniacally egocentric at the same time ... and basically a bit whacky with a side of goofy and a dollop of nerd with a sprinkle of elderly, crazy cat lady.  I might also be somewhat delusional, but the medical community has not issued an official diagnosis at this time.  (By the way, when I am sitting in my Senate confirmation hearing for US Supreme Court Justice, I am going to regret writing the above.)  

Also, if you're a viewer of my LilyOnTheLam Instagram account (or a reader of my blog); you will know that I love RuPaul's Drag Race - the reality television competition show on Logo TV.  

Well one day I was listening to RuPaul's podcast on my iPhone.  I was very excited because RuPaul's Drag Race Season 6 winner, Bianca Del Rio was on the podcast.  I have seen Bianca Del Rio twice - once in the touring show "RuPaul's Battle of the Stars" at the Ritz Ybor in Ybor City (Tampa), Florida.  The other time I saw Bianca in his one-drag queen show "Rolodex of Hate" in Provincetown, Massachusetts.  Bianca Del Rio is a bit of an insult comic drag queen, but the "secret" is that Bianca Del Rio also has a heart of gold.  

I was very excited to see Bianca Del Rio (a.k.a. Roy Haylock) and he did not disappoint!  It was a FANTASTIC show!

Now as I was listening to the RuPaul podcast, a person who I will not name asked me what I was listening to.  This particular person is a business person who provides services and I was her client.  Now I should have been given a heads up when the person (who is 4 years younger than me) didn't know what a podcast was.  (Clue #1 that this person is clueless).

Next, this person didn't know RuPaul had done anything with his life past his 1993 song "Supermodel of the World."  (OK so you're not into drag queens, many are not.)

Needless to say this person had never heard of Bianca Del Rio.  (No shade to Bianca but if RuPaul's not on your personal radar, Bianca probably is not either.)  So I whipped out my Instagram account and showed this person the following picture ...

Bianca Del Rio and Yours Truly

The person looked at this picture of a drag queen with me and sputtered "Wait, are you a drag queen too?"  

OK SERIOUSLY?  This is an educated professional with an advanced degree and she is asking me - IN ALL SERIOUSNESS AND SINCERITY- if I am a drag queen.

A million smart ass remarks went flying through my head.

I like convertibles.  It doesn't mean I am a car.

I thought about RuPaul's quote: "We're all born naked and the rest is drag."  But I thought this particular person would not understand the quote and would then take it as an affirmation that I am a drag queen.

Finally, I decided that this was a teachable moment.  And instead of insulting or shaming the person, I should educate.

OK and maybe shame her just a little.

I adopted a curt tone and said "No, I am not a drag queen. I am a biological female.  So I can't be a drag queen.  If I was a drag performer, I'd be a drag king."

She gasped and started to speak - I quickly cut her off and said "I AM NOT A DRAG KING!"  She quickly snapped her mouth shut, understanding that the Question and Answer portion of the day was now over.  

Seriously, how is this person a professional?  

I know many of my friends may find my love of RuPaul's Drag Race to be bizarre - but I also have friends who obsess over "American Idol" or "The Voice" or cults dedicated to worshipping escargot (OK I may have made that last one up).  I may not see the value or have any interest but I respect their passion.  

This particular person then went on to talk for 20 minutes about how she believes Caitlyn Jenner is not transgender and is only adopting a female persona (and plastic surgery) to make money.  I found it particularly amusing as she made some narrow-minded comments about transgendered people that I was wearing a Human Rights Campaign t-shirt (which advocates for equal rights) that says "Love Conquers Hate."  She was talking very loudly and there were other clients in ear shot.  I wondered if any of her clients had friends or family members who were transgendered.

I am heterosexual but this person did not know that.  I found it curious that she was spewing so many awkward, potentially offensive statements.  But then she started talking about how she wished she didn't get married.  So I figured she had much bigger issues than not knowing about RuPaul's Drag Race.

At times like this, I actually think the biggest teachable moment is what I personally take away from the interaction.  I felt awkward and uncomfortable with her tone and attitudes.  But I also saw it as an opportunity to practice tolerance and compassion.  Not everyone is going to share my views.  Better to approach such situations with compassion versus judgment.

(Oh but it is SO EASY for me to be snippy and judgmental!  It takes stamina to NOT be judgmental!)  

I really want to dismiss this person as an uneducated crack pot but I think that adds to the "us vs. them" mentality that seems to be running center in American politics.  I'd like to think that the world is not so black and white, all or nothing.  And if that is how I want my world to be - tolerant and compassionate - change starts from within.  I need to be more tolerant and compassionate.  Which is NOT easy, but it is a challenge I should embrace.

As always, thank you for reading! 

If It's Good Enough For The President, It's Good Enough For Me

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

I love dim sum - the Chinese mini appetizers brunch - to put an American definition on it.  One of my favorite places for dim sum (or yum cha, as it is also called) is East Ocean Restaurant in Sydney, Australia.  However because I live in Florida, USA - it's not like I can just hop on down to Sydney whenever a dim sum craving hits.  Or at least not until I win a very large lottery!

So when I was traveling in San Francisco, I knew I needed to take advantage of the plethora of Asian residents and the proximity of a quality Chinatown for some authentic dim sum.  I researched all of the restaurants that were located in the city center.  (I was without a car and didn't want to Lyft or Uber my way to the far suburbs where some very notable dim sum restaurants are located.)  

I finally decided to try Great Eastern Restaurant.

When President Obama was in town, he had dim sum at Great Eastern.

And if a dim sum restaurant is good enough for President Obama, it is definitely good enough for me!

The restaurant is large with good, fast, efficient service.  The dim sum is ordered via paper menus like you would order sushi.  I like when restaurants have the carts of dim sum and you order off the cart, but as long as the dim sum tastes good I am OK with ordering off the menu.

I am a creature of habit when it comes to dim sum.  I tend to order the same things over and over again.  I choose to think of this as "Classic Lily" versus "Boring Lily."

I like to order hot tea, of course.

Barbecued pork buns - soft and fluffy with a sweet, zesty pork filling.

I ALWAYS order radish cakes - gelatinous slices, studded with radish or turnip or taro bits and tiny shrimp, which are pan-fried.  I also usually order some kind of dumpling or shu mei.  In this case, pork and chive panfried dumplings.

And I prefer soy sauce and red vinegar on my radish cakes.

In tribute to my Grandmother, I love steamed sticky rice wrapped in a leaf.  It usually contains chicken or pork and egg.

On this particular occasion, my eyes were bigger than my stomach.  I ordered pineapple buns - which in 97% of all cases, do NOT contain any pineapple at all.  Sometimes they are custard-filled and sometimes they are plain.  The name "pineapple bun" refers to the crunchy coating on top of the bun which is supposed to resemble the outside of a pineapple.  I know some places actually started serving these buns stuffed with pineapple jelly because they were probably sick of people complaining that the pineapple bun had no pineapple.

In dim sum, most orders contain 2-4 items - so I did not have the option to get just one pineapple bun.  My stomach surrendered and I took these 3 little darlings to go.  I ate them in my hotel room later that night when my stomach was in a happier state!

I very much enjoyed the dim sum at Great Eastern restaurant.  I may not be the President, but the waitstaff treated me very well.  It was affordable, tasty, authentic and delicious in a relaxed, lovely atmosphere.  It was very much a "Chinatown experience."

If you're looking for quality dim sum in Chinatown, San Francisco - check out Great Eastern!

Use Your Powers Wisely: The Curse of the Monkey's Paw

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

In keeping with my current theme of blogging from coffee and tea houses in the Tampa Bay area, I am at Kaleisia Tea Lounge on East Fletcher Avenue.  

The atmosphere is very Japanese modern.  They even have a Japanese shoji screened area where you sit on cushions on the floor, without shoes.  A little bit of Japan in Tampa Bay!  

Their "large size" tea is called the Teatanic - which makes me hum Celine Dion songs as I slurp lychee flavored boba out of a ginormous mason jar.

In the picture above is a Thai iced tea, medium sweetness (because I am sweet enough!) with "lychee poppin' boba" and Kaleisia's wild tuna pasta salad.  The pasta salad is CRAZY good.  Very light tasting but with a fresh herby punch of flavor.  The menu at Kaleisia has many yummy sounding items, some vegan and some gluten-free.  Check it out here.  

But I'm not here to talk about tea, I am here to talk about THE CURSE OF THE MONKEY'S PAW!

(Insert sinister music here!)  

Years ago, I watched an episode of "The Simpsons" where Homer buys a Monkey's Paw and is granted three wishes.

But like anything that comes too easy in life, there are challenges too.  Each wish that Homer makes does not turn out to be a blessing.  So finally he decides to just wish for a turkey sandwich - not a possessed evil zombie turkey, just a regular turkey sandwich.  

And when he eats it, he at first enjoys it but then realizes it's a little dry.  Once again, even his simple wish does not come true.  The Monkey's Paw couldn't even deliver a good turkey sandwich.

Well somewhere in my hoarder's condo, I must have a Monkey's Paw laying around because my wishes are coming true -- but not in the way I would want them to.  I keep screaming out "Be more specific in your wishes!"

For example, I went out with a 6'4" guy - but either I'm growing or he's shrinking because I swear he wasn't taller than 6'2".  So I said to myself "Hmmm, maybe I need to find a 6'5" guy."  

THE NEXT DAY - I met a 6'5" guy!  The Universe delivered!  But here's the Monkey's Paw in action because the guy was crazy!  (He of the "You  Need to Tighten the Lid on Your Box of Crazy" LilyOnTheLam blog post.)

I chastised myself "You should have specified - 6'5" guy who is NOT crazy when you made your wish to the universe!"  Come on, get it together sister!

So then later in the week, I started work at 6 a.m. and had some tough conference calls.  I had a one hour break in my schedule and I decided to go out for breakfast to clear my head.  Ever since I had the amazingly delicious basil pesto pressed Cuban bread sandwich at DI Coffee Bar (check it out here), I have been craving Cuban toast and Cuban cheese toast.  

(Side note:  Lily's favorite place for Cuban cheese toast in Tampa Bay?  La Teresita Cafeteria - which is open 24 hours a day on the weekends so I can get Tostada con queso any time I want it!)

I asked the universe to please, please, please make sure that the local diner had Cuban toast on their menu.  I hadn't been to this diner in years - it's in walking distance from my home but I always forget it's there.  Which is odd because I love all places that serve breakfast.  I hold them in high esteem, close to my heart!  

I opened the diner's menu and I saw ... wheat, white and rye as their bread selections.  Sigh.  Even English Muffins!  But no Cuban toast.

But then I looked at the side dish menu AND THERE IT WAS!  CUBAN TOAST!  I ordered it with a very giddy tone.  (Carbs make me happy!)

Cuban Toast

It arrived pressed in true Cuban toast fashion.  I took a bite ... and damn that Monkey's Paw!  

It was just ... OK.  

It tasted old, not fresh.  And instead of butter it tasted like it had been pressed with one of those artificial cafeteria margarine-style spreads ... but even worse than margarine - more like the stuff that doubles for WD-40.  SIGH.  

Damn you, Monkey's Paw!  Once again my lack of specificity had screwed me!  I should have wished for GOOD-TASTING Cuban toast versus just Cuban Toast!

Last night, I was looking online at some job listings on a career website where I did not log in or in any way share my personal information.  I was just checking what's out there in the universe.  

Today, in a very odd coincidence - the internal recruiter for the company I was looking at contacted me on LinkedIn.  But the job he is hiring for is about 3 steps backward in my career.  Damn you, Monkey's Paw!  

Once again I screamed at myself:  "BE MORE SPECIFIC IN YOUR WISHES TO THE UNIVERSE!"

Still, I must say that this "Cosmic ATM" where I think of something and it appears quickly is pretty crazy cool.  Yeah, the "blessing" is a bit off the mark but still the fact that it's even materializing at all is pretty awesome in my book.  Homer Simpson may agree that even a dry turkey sandwich is better than no turkey sandwich.

I just need to be MORE specific in my wishes!  I will beat you one day, Monkey's Paw!

As always, thank you for reading!  

Your Inner Child Is Talking: Are You Listening?

Dear LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

Have you seen this viral video where a 6 year old Canadian girl asks her mom to try to be friends with her divorced dad?  It is hard to believe a 6 year old is so eloquent.  It's worth watching.  Check it out.  Definitely some good life lessons to be learned here.

I must admit I have watched this viral video several times.  Now first of all, being half-Asian I stereotypically love Asian babies and Hello Kitty.  When my little sister was young, we had a layover at Amsterdam's Schiphol Airport.  It was there we discovered a little female rabbit cartoon character known as Miffy.  

Now in an odd coincidence, one of the many nicknames that I had for my sister was pronounced Meefeee.  So seeing a rabbit named "Miffy" was like a weird omen.  I quickly purchased my sister two of the Miffy toys and we boarded our plane.  I don't remember where we were going, I just remember Miffy.    

Hello Kitty and Miffy - a win-win

So when the viral video started and I saw the 6 year old was wearing a Miffy shirt, I knew that this was a 6 year old who was wise beyond her years!

OK maybe a Miffy shirt does not equal wisdom, but listening to the 6 year old made my jaw drop.  I seriously want to hire her to be my therapist.  Was this little girl raised by Zen Buddhist monks?  Her talking about just wanting everyone around her smiling was so earnest and sincere.  I will admit I was tearing up watching the video.

I have since seen this video popping up all over the place.  I wonder if every person who has seen the video performs one act of kindness - imagine the butterfly impact of just that?  

Although as I write this, a very hyper and I suspect drunk woman is screeching behind me in the tea lounge where I am typing - so I am trying not to turn around and hit her.  Not exactly the best act of kindness!  Baby steps!  Baby steps!

I love this viral video.  Each time I watch it, I hope that some of its zen messages pierces my cynical soul and inspires me to do better and to be better.

While I personally am not a fan of Kanye West the individual.  I do like his music.  His song "Only One" - his imagining of what his departed mother would say to him from beyond the grave - is beautiful and haunting.  I listen to it while I go for walks along the water.  It is soothing and has a zen peace to it.  There is a line in the song that says "You're not perfect, but you're not your mistakes."  The statement is very comforting to me.  

I was in Bradenton, Florida a couple weeks ago.  There is a "mystical bookstore" where "Shaman Jeff" gives tarot card readings.  Now "Shaman Jeff" looks like an older version of "The Dude" (Jeff Bridges) in the movie "The Big Lebowski."  Now I am 97% sure I wouldn't take spiritual advice from :The Dude" but I have to say that "Shaman Jeff" had a peaceful, calm air about him.  He didn't tell me anything I didn't already know deep in my heart, but sometimes it's good to be reminded of things.  

I do believe that if we take a step back from the mental noise, we can hear the messages the universe has for us.  This may sound a little too new age trippy, but it is what I believe.  I think there are life lessons all around us - we just need to slow down and listen.

When I first watched the viral video of Tiana - the 6 year old Canadian girl.  I thought "This is important.  You should really absorb what she is saying."  Which by the way, I have NEVER said that about any speech from a 6 year old.  (Sorry 6 year olds!)  Maybe I need to buy a Miffy t-shirt too to be as zen as Tiana.  

So for today, I will practice smiling more and try to keep things "steady" and keep my mean thoughts at short heights.  Thank you Tiana, for leading the way.  

As always, thank you for reading!          

Material Girl in a Material World

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

After a summer with limited blog posts, I am on a roll.  I locked myself in a coffee house and wrote several blog posts.  There should be a parade or something ...   So I hope you have been enjoying the daily Lilyisms!  I am sure I will fall back into a silent slump for awhile - but not today!

I have realized that I have the impulse control of a toddler.  Every thing is just one giant shopportunity ... for instance I saw these coffee mugs on my Instagram feed:

"Dr. Bad Jen" on Instagram - founder of the "now on hiatus" Atomic Cosmetics - posted this picture. 

I have 9 billion coffee mugs ... which by the way, I NEVER use - as I usually use my iced coffee tumblers instead.  (I live in Florida, I prefer all of beverages ICED.)  So needless to say, I don't have any freaking need to purchase more coffee mugs.  BUT COME ON -- it's the mother from "Bewitched" (Endora - Agnes Moorehead) and Meryl Streep's character in "The Devil Wears Prada."  These are PERFECTION.  

I hope I can con one of my sassy gay male friends who love TV and movies as much as I do to purchase these mugs so I can come visit them.  Thereby saving my kitchen cupboards from one more superfluous purchase and yet still being able to breathe the rarified air of these fabulous mugs.  If I owned a coffee house, I would have one hundred of these mugs ... but then again maybe not because they would absolutely be stolen in seven seconds flat! 

I am staying strong and not giving in to my material urges to purchase these mugs that I do NOT need.  (And no, this is NOT a shout out to my friends to buy them for me!  If you're going to give me a gift, give me a box of cash - preferably $100's.  Love ya!).  

I once read in one of those "Your birthday means ..." books that people born on my birthday (like Jennifer Lopez and Amelia Earhart and Bindi Irwin) face an ongoing struggle of when to feed hunger and when to deny hunger.  I seriously almost dropped the book when I read that.  I am glad I didn't drop the book however since it was bigger than a phone book!  I could have lost a toe!  

The page might as well "An ongoing struggle of when to feed hunger and when to deny hunger, ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION LILY?"  I mean seriously - what a story of my life ... physical hunger, material hunger, hunger for love and respect (from myself and also from others) ... THE HUNGER IS REAL.  So in keeping with the massive astrology book, I am going to take this moment to DENY hunger and not purchase these amazing coffee mugs.  I hope this earns me extra points in heaven because restraint sucks. 

(If you don't practice the same level of personal restraint as I do, you can find these FABULOUS coffee mugs at Huntees.com https://huntees.com/mugs/.  They also have an Angela Lansbury "Murder She Wrote" and a Divine mug!  Oh the campy wonderfulness of it all!  I can hardly bear it!)  

As always, thanks for reading!    

Be Conscious and Live in the Moment

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

Yesterday, I had a great conversation over afternoon tea at Anise Global Gastrobar about the need to be mindful and conscious in the moment.

However later that evening, I ate a Tootsie Roll absent-mindedly.  Now you may ask why it's important to be "present" and "conscious" in the moment while eating a piece of candy.  Well when you have a temporary crown on your back molar and you hit a hard, sticky piece of candy - you need to be extremely mindful of which side of your mouth you are chewing it on.  

And yep, I ripped out the temporary crown and broke it into pieces!  Did the Universe need to send me a louder message reaffirming my need to be mindful?

Then today I took a late lunch to run an errand but had to do a call with an attorney on behalf of my condo board.  I was multitasking trying to do several things at once.  I walked into a parking lot and watched a woman back her car smack dab into a mini van that was perpendicular to her parked car.  

I thought to myself: "This is the universe telling you to stop juggling so many things and focus on one thing - driving."

But my attorney call had run over and I had to take a business conference call as I drove home.  I called in to the meeting and was about to back up when I realized the woman in the mini van was now parked directly behind me.

What the heck?  Is she trying to get hit by every person in the parking lot?  I thanked my lucky stars that I had seen her sitting behind me, because seriously I could have hit the mini van quite easily.  Is this some sort of scam?

Luckily there was no one in front of me so I was able to leave the parking lot despite being boxed in from behind by the dented van.  Despite my gratitude that I had not hit the van too, I felt like the universe was screaming at me to pay attention, focus and not be distracted.

There is a quote from Maya Angelou that I love and have to remind myself of many times when dealing with people:

Being mindful is not only important in candy eating, but in really hearing people through their words and actions.  I do believe that when people are bitchy and snide, it says a lot about why they are as a person.  I saw this quote today and it is definitely going to be part of my quote library in the future!

    
I read an article on mindfulness by TinyBuddha.com - I think I am going to try their recommendations and see if I become more centered and more focused.  And perhaps I should eat less candy too!

Thanks for reading!

Alice's Adventures in Boozy Land - The Boozy Tea at Anise Global Gastrobar - Tampa, FL

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

It is a rainy Sunday evening in Tampa, Florida.  As I drove home, I passed by a three car pile up.  The owners and passengers of the three cars standing without umbrellas in the pouring rain, were looking very unhappy.  

The "glass half full" bright side of the picture is that none of them looked hurt.  However standing in the heavy rain while staring at your mangled car is probably not the best way to spend a Sunday afternoon either.  I said a "thank you" to the universe that I made it home safe and sound.  

This weekend has been chock full of fun events, but I especially wanted to tell you about the "Boozy Tea" at Anise Global Gastrobar in Tampa, Florida.  

I love a proper afternoon tea.  My favorite tea room is Podunk in New York City.  So when I saw on Anise Global Gastrobar's Facebook page that they were planning an afternoon "tea" but with cocktails instead of "tea" and a gift bag for each participant, I knew I needed to sign up for tickets for this event!  (Who doesn't love a gift bag??) 

I also knew immediately who I wanted to attend the event with - Ms. Seminole Heights.  Now don't take it the wrong way - I'm not saying that an event titled "Boozy" made me think of Ms. Seminole Heights!  But Anise Global Gastrobar is a swank place (I love, love, love their decor).  So a leisurely afternoon of quality edibles, exotic cocktails and great conversation in a swanky place, that sounded like something right up Ms. Seminole Heights' alley.  So I asked her if she would be interested - and call me a psychic, but she was!

I've been trying to lead a healthier lifestyle on many levels.  I am trying to make sure that what I bring into my headspace and my stomach are quality products.  Instead of mindlessly eating crap food, I want it to be good quality and of good taste.  And I try my best to limit the portion size.  

I also decided I would try to give up alcohol for a year (for calories and health reasons not for addiction ones) but with the exception of a sailing trip I will be taking in November and I'd give myself a "free pass" if there was a really good cocktail event.  After 8 months of no drinking (except for a sip of a Caipirinha in Brazil and a couple of sips from friends' cocktails at new places- I have not had a "full glass" since January), I thought that the Boozy Tea would be a good "free pass."  

In addition to trying to eat and drink better, I have been trying to spend time with people who lead their lives from a place of optimism versus cynicism.  Those who see the glass (or tea cup) as half-full versus half-empty.  Those who see themselves as the Captain of their lives versus a victim.  

Like my collection of fitness DVDs that I hope will get me into shape through osmosis by sitting on my bookshelf, I hope that if I surround myself with quality, respectful people I can embody more of their positive spirit.  I feel like the people we surround ourselves with are just as important as the air we breathe and the food and liquids we eat and drink.  If you breathe in polluted air, day after day; your lungs will suffer from the pollution.  So if I spend the majority of my time with healthy, upbeat, respectful people- my hope is that I will embody their healthy, upbeat attitudes as well.  

Ms. Seminole Heights is one of those healthy, upbeat people.  No, her life is not perfect (no one has a perfect life, well maybe Oprah?); but she is not bitter, in denial, angry or a crying victim.  Or at least she doesn't appear so to me.  I find her to be positive and optimistic, but level-headed as well.  She sees the silver lining and the gray cloud - even-keeled I guess is how I see her.  And I find our conversations very thought-provoking and emotionally nourishing.  

I think it is good to step out of our own heads from time to time and see the world through another person's eyes.  Sometimes the key to having a better relationship with our day to day world is just changing the perspective.

So on a gray Sunday afternoon, I met Ms. Seminole Heights at Anise Global Gastrobar for their first "Boozy Tea" event.  In addition to the swank, chic surroundings - the staff working the "Boozy Tea" were in lovely dresses and hats.  It was like a high end, fancy Alice in Wonderland tea party.  It was the perfect touch of glamour.  

We sat at the bar while the staff put the finishing touches on the table.  The event would have four cocktails and a wide variety of savory and sweet edibles.  Some of the food was set before us on a three tier tray and other items would be brought to our table throughout the tea.  I felt very pampered by the very friendly and courteous waitstaff.

We started with Cocktail #1: "Mumm's Champagne Spritzer" - which I am renaming "Little Green Martian."  It is matcha tea, starfruit juice, ginger and GH Mumm Cordon Rouge champagne.

Mumm's Champagne Spritzer

Which by the way, as I type this I am in my living room with The Body Shop green tea tree oil face mask on.  Perhaps I am the Little Green Martian too!

Cocktail #1 was my favorite cocktail of the whole night.  The starfruit juice really hit the spot.  

Next, we were seated at our tables.  Take a look at this amazing three tier tray of deliciousness!  I have been to many terrific afternoon teas and sadly several not so good ones.  The Boozy Tea at Anise Global Gastrobar had one of the best food selections and food quality of any tea I have attended.  Everything was fresh and flavorful.

On the bottom tier, there was a smoked salmon pumpernickel crostini.  The salmon had a nice smoky, briny flavor to it with a lush white sauce that tasted of creme fraiche and a sprig of fresh dill.  It was fantastic.  Next to it on a cucumber slice is a lovely, fresh and not overly mayonnaise-y Chicken Waldorf salad.  At Anise, we not only had these plated appetizers, plus passed appetizers - but then they came back around several times with extras.  I had more of the chicken salad because it was so tasty.  There is also a cucumber sandwich with herbed cream cheese.  It was very fresh, crisp and the cream cheese was extra rich and lush.  (OK I had two of those too!)  And next to the sandwiches was a cinnamon sugar palmier - crisp, sweet, flaky and delicious.

On the middle tier: a deviled egg topped with perfectly cooked lobster.  Talk about luxury!  Two more cinnamon sugar palmiers.  Three zucchini parmesan mini madeleines (one of the best tasting items overall - and I did not say "no" when the waitstaff brought us another dish of five more madeleines hot out of the oven.)  The combination of zucchini with aged Parmesan was fantastic.  Then there was a huge seasonal fruit tart with pasty cream.  The crust was buttery and delicious.  The "creme patissiere" was light but velvety.  The fruit fantastic.  

On the top tier: blackberries, starfruit, chocolate dipped petit fours with jam filling and two of the moistest, most delicious blueberry scones.  I usually do not like scones because they tend to be dry, flavorless and crumbly.  But these scones were amazing - bright, big blueberries popping juicy deliciousness with each soft, moist bite.  When the waitstaff came around with a platter of more scones, I had to physically restrain myself.

The chocolate on the petit fours was so amazing.  I had to slow myself down to truly appreciate each chocolatey bite.  So divinely good!

In addition to the plated appetizers.  We were also given Rosemary Russian tea cookies.  These were the perfect combination of savory and sweet.

And served on a soup spoon was a savory, complex tasting tomato bisque with a grilled cheese crouton.  The grilled cheese crouton had an aged cheese flavor - perhaps Gouda?  

The tomato bisque with grilled cheese crouton was my favorite.  The zucchini parmesan madeleines my second favorite.  OK seriously there wasn't a bad bite in the batch.  I loved it all!!

Cocktail #2 was a Green Tea Sour - Jasmine Green Tea, Jameson whiskey and creme de peche.  This drink was strong but good!  I had to sip it very slowly!  Anise Global Gastrobar may want to consider smaller versions of their cocktails for the next Boozy Tea, because I was feeling pretty boozy by drink #2 and I purposely didn't fully finish any of the cocktails.  Bring a designated driver or call a taxi!  Drink responsibly!

Cocktail #3 was my 2nd favorite which was a surprise.  Now I am not the most sophisticated of people, so when the waitstaff put a tea cup with two little dried roses in it in front of me - I had a slight moment of social panic.  What was I supposed to do with this??  Seriously I would be the girl drinking from the finger bowl at a fancy dinner party.  Trust me, it would happen.

I decided not to do anything with the tea cup.  And then the waitstaff came out with steaming pots and filled our dried rose tea cups.  Ah-ha ... now it all made sense!  Cocktail # 3 was a Rose Oolong Toddy.

Now I am not a big oolong fan nor am I a big hot toddy fan, but wow this drink was great.  The fragrance was amazing.  It contains rose oolong tea, Jameson black barrel and honey.  It was smooth, soft and subtle.  And it made my stomach feel like it was getting a gentle hug from Brad Pitt.  Talk about a boozy, warm feeling!

Cocktail #4 wins for best looking drink of the Boozy Tea.  If you're a regular LilyOnTheLam.com reader (or viewer of my Instagram account @LilyOnTheLam), you will know that I have been boba-crazy lately at Naga Tea, Latte Luna and Kaleisia Tea Lounge.  

Well Cocktail #4 is Thai Tea - but with Thai Tea, Jameson Caskmates and black boba pearls.  I think there was either Star Anise, Cardamom or Chinese Five Spice in it as well.  It was lighter than traditional Thai Tea - which I appreciated.  I hate when Thai Tea is too cloyingly sweet.  But in true Lily fashion, I enjoyed slurping up the black boba tapioca pearls.

The Anise Global Gastrobar waitstaff came around with platters and platters of extras of each of the plated appetizers.  No one left hungry.  I was extremely happily satisfied with both the food and cocktails!

In addition to the quality food and high end cocktails, Ms. Seminole Heights and I had a quality conversation on many different topics - life, personal histories, shared philosophies, addiction, denial, personal growth ... Not only did our afternoon tea come with adult beverages, we shared interesting adult, intelligent conversation topics as well.  It was the perfect way to spend a rainy Sunday afternoon.

I hope Anise Global Gastrobar does more events like this in the future.  (Watch their Facebook page, where they post their events.)  The quality and quantity of the food and cocktails was well worth the ticket price per person.  It was a high-end, incredibly tasty spread.  I enjoyed every single morsel.

And to top it off, at the end of the event we were given a tea cup and saucer and a gift bag.  In the gift bag was either a chai soap or sugar face scrub.  (Ms. Seminole Heights and I each received the chai soap) and a vanilla bean macaron with the most amazing chocolate filling (an Earl Grey ganache).  Which I may have possibly greedily eaten on the drive home.    

Regularly, Anise Global Gastrobar serves a wide variety of gourmet small plates.  I love their steamed bao buns and their dessert sweet buns.  But being a Midwesterner at heart, I also love their amazing Tater Tots.  

If you're a regular LilyOnTheLam.com reader you will know that in one of my previous posts about "dueling Tater Tots" I chose Anise Global Gastrobar's tots over some pretty amazing Nashville tater tots.  There is plenty of reason to check out Anise Global Gastrobar whether its for lunch, dinner or a special event like their Boozy Tea.

I am striving to see my world as a "tea cup half full" versus "tea cup half empty" place.  The delicious cocktails and amazing food at Anise Global Gastrobar's Boozy Tea definitely filled my belly and soul with happiness.  Thank you, Anise!

And to you all, as always, thank you for reading! 

You Had Me At Sticky Buns

Happy Friday, LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

And if you're reading this on a day other than Friday, Happy (Insert Day here) to you!

I am ashamed to admit than in the eleven plus years I have lived in Florida, I have spent more time exploring places outside of Florida than inside the state.  For example:  I drive through Bradenton all the time to go to Sarasota but I never stop to actually experience Bradenton.

So a couple weeks ago, I decided to rectify that.  I spent a lovely afternoon visiting various places in Bradenton and then on my way out of town, I spotted THIS sign ...

Latte Luna - Home of the Ham and Cheese Sticky Buns.

WHAT??

WHAT IS A HAM AND CHEESE STICKY BUN?

AND WHY IS IT NOT IN MY BELLY?

I quickly pulled over.  

An investigation needed to be made.  

And NOW.

Latte Luna is a lovely coffee lounge.  If I lived in Bradenton, I would be there all the time.  It is a large house with a multitude of rooms.  There is one room with video games and three other main rooms.  There were all ages of guests when I was there.  

Main counter to order your drinks and food

An older man, who I am pretty sure was Santa Claus on vacation, sat at the table across from me.  He had also ordered the ham and cheese sticky buns before I did.  He gave me his review of them while I waited for my order of boba tea and sticky buns.  Thanks Santa - please don't bring me another lump of coal this year.

Santa said the sticky buns were sweet, savory, a bit different but good.  

Who am I to argue with Santa Claus?  

My order arrived ...

Iced tea with passion-fruit flavored boba!

My iced tea was fantastic.  I have never had flavored boba in my tea before.  I'm used to the flavorless regular black boba.  Each tiny, clear, gelatinous ball exploded with a passionfruit gelee when popped in my mouth.  DELICIOUS!

The ham and cheese sticky buns were mini Hawaiian rolls with ham, cheese, mustard, some sort of sugary glaze and poppy seeds.  I liked them a lot but they were a bit too mustardy for me.  I would like to try these again without the mustard.  But overall they were hearty and satisfied my need for combination foods of savory and sweet.  Well done, Latte Luna!

I love stumbling upon new places.  This discovery was totally random and extremely fantastic.  I will definitely back to Latte Luna in the future!  

What is your favorite coffee house or tea room?  Tell me in the comments section!
  

Jesus Is A Biscuit

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

I have a massive bout of cabin fever lately.  Since for my "day job" I work from home, every now and again I feel the need to be out and about amongst "the people."  So for the past several nights I have been writing from coffee and tea houses around Tampa Bay.  Sunday night was Naga Tea near USF.  Monday night was DI Coffee Bar (Click on their Facebook link here).  Tuesday night was going to be Blind Tiger Cafe in Ybor City, but I ended up at the  much less impressive but large venue Starbucks.  Perhaps you have heard of it?  But don't fear Blind Tiger - I love, love, love your coffee drinks and atmosphere so I will be back soon.

Of course karma kicked me in the teeth for not supporting a fine local business like Blind Tiger Cafe.  About 2 minutes after I sat down at my table - getting myself all situated - plugged in my ancient MacBook Air, charging my cell phone, attaching my external hard drive because I don't have enough memory on the internal hard drive ... I basically looked like I was setting up a command center at Starbucks.  

After I got all "comfortable" with my various cords tethering me to the wall and lap top, a guy walks up to me and makes a sour face.  (Compliments on your resting bitch face, sir!)  On the table next to me is 3 napkins and the paper wrapper to a straw.  Now on my table is a venti cappuccino - hot coffee and a couple napkins.  There is no plastic straw in my hot coffee.  Resting bitch face scowls at me, points to the 3 napkins and paper straw wrapper and says "Are these yours?"

I wanted to say "Seriously?  Do you think I deposit my trash amongst the Starbucks tables like some sort of rabid badger marking my territory?  I mean, come ON!"  But no, I just smiled sweetly and said "Um, no" in a tone that implied that I thought that Resting Bitch Face might be mentally challenged.  

RBF cleared off the table by moving the 3 napkins and paper straw wrapper to another table.  (Way to mark your territory, RBF!)  Then he plopped down basically 2 feet away from me and has spent a ridiculous amount of time making loud slurping sounds as he tries to suck up nonexistent fluids from his empty plastic Starbucks cup.

I should have gone to Blind Tiger Cafe and now Jesus is punishing me ... sigh.  Karmic retribution, party of one.

While this blog post will appear on September 24, 2015, I actually wrote this on September 22nd.  (Blog magic!)  According to my Facebook, today is "Buddha's Return From Heaven Day."  To which I have to first say, none of you bastards got me a Hallmark card for this occasion.  HANG YOUR HEADS IN SHAME!

I frankly had never heard of Buddha's Return from Heaven Day.  I hoped that the occasion would be marked with ice cream cake.  It seems appropriate, right?  Again, according to the Facebook post I was reading - supposedly if you engage in a virtuous action on Buddha's Return from Heaven Day, the act becomes especially powerful and our merit greatly increases.  So on this Buddha's Return From Heaven Day, I am choosing not to smack Resting Bitch Face in the head.  And in return, I think I should win a billion dollar lottery.  Law of attraction, people!  Cosmic ATM.  Winner, winner, karmic dinner!  Let's make this happen!

It was interesting to hear that my good acts would be rewarded on this day, but I am pragmatic enough to know that in this life I need to make my own magic.  And by magic, I mean biscuits.

Yes, you heard me.  Biscuits.

My younger sister lives in Chicago and took me for brunch at a place called "Bang Bang Pie and Biscuits."  Which is the best name for a restaurant EVER.  It has pie.  It has biscuits. What more do you need?  Because I have self-diagnosed early onset Alzheimer's (I'm only 947 years old!), for some reason my neural pathways think the name of the restaurant is "Faster Pussycat, Kill Kill and Biscuits."  (A bastardization of the name of a 1965 movie.)  Sigh.  It's a wonder I can tie my own shoes.

I remember sitting in front of my sister with a giant biscuit on my plate and love in my heart, feeling sad that Tampa Bay did not have a great biscuit restaurant.  Well Tampa has come through for me once again.  I have found a restaurant in Seminole Heights (Tampa), Florida that has better biscuits than Bang Bang Pie and Biscuits- which is a huge compliment because Bang Bang's biscuits and pie are pretty crazy delicious.

In a massive fit of cabin fever, after several agonizing conference calls I decided my Buddha reward was to have an early dinner at Fodder and Shine restaurant in Seminole Heights.  I love Seminole Heights and the recent surge of new fabulous places popping up left and right has only made me love it more.  (Side note:  my beloved Cleanse Apothecary is moving locations November 1, 2015 next to the hip mecca "Rooster and the Till Restaurant" in Seminole Heights.  Check them out!)  

As I am on month 8 of a 13 month sobriety goal, I could not indulge in the fantastic array of cocktails at Fodder and Shine.  So I made due with unsweetened iced tea in a mason jar.  (Is there a better vessel for my beverage?  NO.)

I already knew what I was ordering before I arrived.  The "Cornmeal Fried Chicken Biscuit" which is a thin slice of cornmeal breaded chicken on a "Cathead Biscuit" with house made jam and mahonesa.  Which I later discovered is just a fancy way of saying mayonnaise!  It was a very lovely mayonnaise.  This wasn't Hellman's out of a jar, people!  

I said a quick prayer that a "Cathead Biscuit" does not contain actual cat heads.  (Southern lore says the name came about because the biscuits are the side of a cat's head.  And I will admit the biscuits are super huge.)  At $6 for this giant biscuit with fried chicken, I thought I was getting a tremendous bargain!

Fodder and Shine Fried Chicken Biscuit

I love Southern side dishes, so I also ordered the bacon braised greens.  I find that it's the apple cider vinegar that really sets proper greens apart.  Fodder and Shine's greens were al dente and not cooked to death like most places.  I would have liked maybe about 30 seconds more of cooking, but I quickly became accustomed to their greens and gobbled them up with their housemade hot sauce and lemon juice concoction.

Seasonal bacon-braised greens

Housemade hot sauce and preserved lemon juice - tastiness!

Fodder and Shine does not currently sell these sauces.  They make them only for use in the restaurant.  I hope in the future this will change.  On this particular occasion, I had a very large purse with me.  Like a middle school shoplifter, I contemplated how many bottles of sauce I could smuggle into my purse.  But then I weighed that thought against never having access to the hearty, flaky, buttery, amazing deliciousness of Fodder and Shine's Cathead Biscuits ... and I decided not to pursue a life of crime.  What a waste of a big purse.  Sigh.

In addition to the fried chicken biscuit and the bacon-braised greens, I also had the Cheddar Cheese Sofkee.  I had never heard of "sofkee" before but the menu description said "Florida native porridge of fermented rice grits, cheddar, cream and butter."  Now the menu could have said "Your shoe with cheddar, cream and butter" and I would have said "Yes, let's order that."  I was all aboard the sofkee train!  

For an extra dollar, you can have your sofkee topped with bacon tomato gravy.  Trust me, it is worth spending the extra dollar.  The "bacon tomato gravy" is like a bright, flavorful, freshly made tomato sauce.  It reminded me of trips to Tuscany.  Get it.  Do it. 

Sofkee with bacon tomato gravy

Iced tea in mason jars

I am a rabid fan of the reality television competition show RuPaul's Drag Race.  I am an even more rabid fan of Floridian drag queen Latrice Royale.  On the show, Latrice Royale said his now infamous catchphrase: "Jesus is a biscuit.  Let Him sop you up!"  (Order Latrice's catchphrase t-shirt here!)  Because of my love for Latrice Royale and also love of carbs, my Instagram feed is usually rife with biscuits of all kinds.  The other day, THIS fabulous picture popped up ...

  
I have to say that all of the food at Fodder and Shine was great, but their Cathead biscuit puts all other biscuits to shame.  It is THAT good.  I am putting it out to the universe, that I want to have biscuits at Fodder and Shine with Latrice Royale.  (Law of Attraction, The Secret, Magic Eight Ball, Kickstarter campaign ... whatever it takes, let's make this happen!)

Now as if my delicious Southern meal wasn't enough, I just could not leave Fodder and Shine without trying their Moon Pie Trifle.  (Who doesn't love a good Moon Pie?)  The menu description says it is house made marshmallow fluff, graham cracker crumble and a Cheerwine (soda)-chocolate ganache.  

This dessert was very good - it truly had all the flavors of a fresh Moon Pie.  But it was crazy rich with so much marshmallow fluff.  Now my inner sugar lover is screaming "Shut up, there can never be TOO MUCH marshmallow fluff!"  But trust me, it was very rich and very sweet.  I would have served this trifle with a couple Honey Graham crackers on the side.  Spreading this intoxicating mixture on the crackers would have cut some of the rich sweetness and hey, everybody loves an interactive dessert.  (Or is that just me?)

Now beyond the food - I love the chill, modern decor of Fodder and Shine.  My server was super courteous and attentive.  Better than the service at higher end restaurants, so I especially appreciated the quality of care shown.  The menu had items of various prices.  Some items are surprisingly inexpensive and other items are comparable to other Seminole Heights restaurants.   

I would definitely return (and return and return) to Fodder and Shine restaurant in Seminole Heights, Florida.  If you love a good biscuit or quality Southern food, check them out!
  
P.S. For more tales of biscuits, check out my ham and pimento cheese biscuit at DI Coffee Bar in Tampa, Florida!