You Have A Nice Day Now ...

Hi, my name is Lily and I am an online shopaholic.  I'm an eCommerce wet dream.  Girl with credit card and laptop - Go Shopaholic, Go!

This holiday season I have been running a 5 to 1 ratio on gift-buying ... for every present I buy friends, family or even strangers in my work's gifts for underprivileged kids program, I seem to be buying five presents for myself.  Evidently, I think I am underprivileged as well.

I prefer to shop while wearing striped fuzzy Uniqlo pajama pants and an Old Navy Hello Kitty t-shirt while sitting on my couch.  It is infinitely more pleasurable than braving the shopping malls during the holiday season.  Seriously at this time of the year, trying to park at a mall is like Death Race 2011.  SUVs and mini-vans all trying to get my parking spot, even if that means they have to steam roller over me and park directly on top of me.  NOT FUN!

The downside to eCommerce is that merchandise is rarely ever as good-looking as it appears to be online. This tiny little fact has led me to make several trips to the UPS Store, FedEx Office and the post office in the last two weeks; returning many online purchases.  I have been to the UPS Store so many times, I know the life history of several of the workers.  

Today's delivery was clothing - two items were great, the remaining items were blaaah.  I filled out the returns form and then taped up the box.  Luckily, this particular store gives a free return shipping label (all stores should!)  I was happy to note it was for the post office versus UPS - since I have a small post office in walking distance.  Box under my arm, I headed over to drop it off.  

My local post office is located inside a small convenience store.  I have to walk through aisles of greeting cards and every kind of candy known to man to drop off my package.  The greeting card section snagged me and in a blink of an eye, I had 7 birthday cards in my hand.  Did I happen to mention I am a shopaholic?

I walked up to the register.  There was an older woman standing in front of me, paying for her purchases. The cashier handed the woman her receipt and said: "You have a nice day now."

The older woman looked at the cashier and said flatly "I will, if I can get my dog to stop having diarrhea" and then walked away.

The cashier did not look phased, but my jaw was on the ground.  Did the older woman really say what I thought she said?

The cashier looked through my birthday cards to scan the UPC code on the back of each one.  She held up one of the cards and said "A man bought this one about a year ago.  He said it was the perfect card."

"Oh, uh ... cool."  I said.  

After I handed her the money, I expected the cashier to say what I am sure she had said a hundred times that day:  "You have a nice day now."  But evidently the older woman and her revelation about her dog's diarrhea had scarred the cashier, because she said to me: "You take care now."

I considered saying "I would take care now if my cats hadn't joined a cult and signed away the deed on my home!  I'm now living in a cardboard box while my cats hobnob with celebrity cult members.  So until I am no longer homeless, it's gonna be hard to "take care now."

But I had figured that such a response might render the cashier mute for all future customers - and who was I to ruin customer service levels for future patrons?

I said "Thanks" and left.

With 2012 approaching and New Year's Resolutions to be made, I ask myself whether I want to be polite or shocking in 2012.  Do I want to blend in with the masses or do I want to be memorable?  

The older woman's TMI (too much information) moment on her dog's gastrointestinal state was definitely memorable.  But am I a person who would prefer to be memorable even if it were for an off-putting topic?  

Do I wish to be the Lindsay Lohan/Kim Kardashian/Canine Diarrhea of the world just to make an impression?

I would like to ponder this deep philosophical question, but I have to go clean up some cat vomit.

You have a nice day now!