I Miss You Damon Wayans Jr.

The new Fall TV season is upon us.  I go into each new season with mad crazy hopes and usually most of those hopes are dashed by October.  At least I have Sons of Anarchy (Oh I love you Kurt Sutter and Katey Sagal!!)  and the Daily Show to keep me warm.

Two weeks ago, my DVR recorded one of the new Fall shows:  Fox TV's "New Girl."  I didn't have high hopes for the quality and content of this show, but I am one of the sad masses who have downed the Zooey Deschanel Kool-aid and feel compelled to watch anything she's in.  Seriously.  Zooey, you could star in an anal lubricant commercial - as long as you're singing in that little elf on helium voice, I'd be watching you like a hawk.

So I watched the pilot of "New Girl."  It was OK.  But I have to say that I very much enjoyed Damon Wayans Jr.'s performance in the episode.  Well that is to say, I enjoyed it after realizing that I must be 100 years old if Damon Wayans has an adult son.  Please tell me he procreated at age 3 ... ooof, I'm old.

I'm not one to "hit it and quit it" (thanks C.O. for incorporating that phrase into my Lily Lingo), so this week my trusty DVR (let's call him Paco) recorded the 2nd episode of "New Girl."  Imagine my surprise to see that Damon Wayans Jr. was no longer on the show and instead a new African-American actor (Lamorne Morris) was appearing as a new roommate on the show.  What the hell?  Had Damon Wayans Jr. gone on a diva-mad, bitch-slapping fest?  How could he be replaced so fast?  What ripe hell had he unleashed to deserve such a fate?

I spent a few minutes musing about Damon Wayans Jr. as Godzilla and Fox TV as Tokyo ... a lot of giggling ensued and a promise not to drink so much Green Mountain Coffee Extra Bold Espresso Blend coffee.  (It's fair trade certified organic, Haters!  Oh Keurig, how I love you!) 

By the way, I am completely open to receiving free K-cups or a Keurig Cafe one touch milk frother ... I am not above receiving free gifts.  My love can be purchased with caffeinated gifts... seriously, it can.

After a caffeine-induced giggle fest, I jumped on the internet.  What was going on with Fox's show "New Girl?"  I found an article that explained it all - Damon Wayans Jr. had the honor of being needed on two shows that were picked up - and he was contractually obligated to the first show and hence had to be replaced on "New Girl."  Oh Damon Wayans Jr., you delightful Godzilla, congratulations on being "in demand" in Hollywood.  Still, I couldn't help but feel cheated.  The article I read was from July 2011.  Couldn't Fox have run a disclaimer on the pilot episode?  Something along the lines of "Viewer: Please do not fall in love with Damon Wayans Jr. in this episode because he won't be in any other episodes?"  We are a nation of warnings and disclaimers!  Where was the warning on "New Girl"? 

Hmmm... I may have an intentional infliction of emotional distress claim here.  Do you hear me Fox TV?  Send me a bunch of Zooey Deschanel out-takes where she's singing about anal lube or else I'm calling whatever wackadoo lawyer I can find who will take my case!  Start shaking in your boots, Fox TV!

Sigh ... I feel betrayed.  That's it - I'm sticking with "Sons of Anarchy" instead.  Murderous bikers never let me down.