Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:
Once upon a time, I took my little sister to see the musical "Urinetown." Because if you're going to launch a musical with the word "urine" in it, I'm going to be curious. It's the truth!
And not only am I going to show up, I'm going to drag my impressionable young sister along with me. I think she was 10 years old at the time. I haven't asked her lately, but I am pretty sure she's scarred for life from this one musical event.
If you read my post this past Saturday, you will know that Urinetown has come a-calling to my neighborhood. In that someone has been peeing in my condo elevator … hopefully it's a dog but with geriatric neighbors, hey you never know!
In response to the influx of pee, some irritated neighbor posted a sign printed in red and green - holiday colors - to shame the dog owner for letting their dog relieve him/herself in the elevator and then not cleaning it up.
I chuckled at the note Saturday morning and prayed that it was indeed a dog and not a human baptizing the elevator with their golden shower. I also made a mental congratulations that the author chose to use holiday colors for their chastising.
I came home Saturday night to find a new sign. This one was not printed in reds and greens. This one was a little more indignant than the other … ok maybe more than just a little more indignant.
And I noticed that this time, there was no mention of a dog being the culprit of the urine …
I read the sign twice before I realized that "this creaton" from the "we need to catch this creaton and kick them out!!" probably meant "this cretin."
Or hey, maybe they meant "this crouton." Salad topping insults are the worst.
I know I should probably be enraged that something or someone has been peeing in my condo elevator, but for some reason it just made me laugh and laugh and laugh.
However that's probably because I always show up after someone has cleaned up the urine. If I was riding in a stinky, wet elevator, I probably wouldn't be chuckling quite as much.
So if you come visit me (stalkers!), please do not pee in my elevator.
People or dogs who urinate in elevators and do not clean it up are serious croutons or bacon bits.
FOLLOW UP: I had the great pleasure of seeing comedian Dave Chappelle at Ruth Eckerd Hall this evening. The show was HYSTERICAL - and Dave was in great form. When I came home I rode in the elevator with a neighbor and his dog - I gave the dog (a collie) the stink eye as if to say "Are you the manic urinator?" The collie hung his head low in response to my stanky perusal … but he kept his bladder tight. Someone meanwhile had not only taken down the sign in the picture above but also every other piece of paper and business cards on the bulletin board. Maybe someone used all that paper to soak up elevator urine! Who knows?
Once upon a time, I took my little sister to see the musical "Urinetown." Because if you're going to launch a musical with the word "urine" in it, I'm going to be curious. It's the truth!
And not only am I going to show up, I'm going to drag my impressionable young sister along with me. I think she was 10 years old at the time. I haven't asked her lately, but I am pretty sure she's scarred for life from this one musical event.
If you read my post this past Saturday, you will know that Urinetown has come a-calling to my neighborhood. In that someone has been peeing in my condo elevator … hopefully it's a dog but with geriatric neighbors, hey you never know!
In response to the influx of pee, some irritated neighbor posted a sign printed in red and green - holiday colors - to shame the dog owner for letting their dog relieve him/herself in the elevator and then not cleaning it up.
I chuckled at the note Saturday morning and prayed that it was indeed a dog and not a human baptizing the elevator with their golden shower. I also made a mental congratulations that the author chose to use holiday colors for their chastising.
I came home Saturday night to find a new sign. This one was not printed in reds and greens. This one was a little more indignant than the other … ok maybe more than just a little more indignant.
And I noticed that this time, there was no mention of a dog being the culprit of the urine …
I read the sign twice before I realized that "this creaton" from the "we need to catch this creaton and kick them out!!" probably meant "this cretin."
Or hey, maybe they meant "this crouton." Salad topping insults are the worst.
I know I should probably be enraged that something or someone has been peeing in my condo elevator, but for some reason it just made me laugh and laugh and laugh.
However that's probably because I always show up after someone has cleaned up the urine. If I was riding in a stinky, wet elevator, I probably wouldn't be chuckling quite as much.
So if you come visit me (stalkers!), please do not pee in my elevator.
People or dogs who urinate in elevators and do not clean it up are serious croutons or bacon bits.
FOLLOW UP: I had the great pleasure of seeing comedian Dave Chappelle at Ruth Eckerd Hall this evening. The show was HYSTERICAL - and Dave was in great form. When I came home I rode in the elevator with a neighbor and his dog - I gave the dog (a collie) the stink eye as if to say "Are you the manic urinator?" The collie hung his head low in response to my stanky perusal … but he kept his bladder tight. Someone meanwhile had not only taken down the sign in the picture above but also every other piece of paper and business cards on the bulletin board. Maybe someone used all that paper to soak up elevator urine! Who knows?
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