Happy Monday - Reasons to be Grateful

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

Happy Monday!  I hope you had a great weekend!  I had a very fun weekend but as usual it seemed to pass in seconds and here I am back at Monday.

There are many reasons I enjoy living in Tampa Bay, but I do miss many of the more "cosmopolitan" aspects of living in a larger city.  When I lived in Los Angeles, I felt like everything was available at my fingertips 24-7.  Of course I also spent a majority of my life stuck in traffic, praying that there wouldn't be a drive by shooting from some road rage crazy neighboring car.  There are pros and cons to everything.

One of my free time passions is seeing great plays and musicals - a reason why so much of my budget gets gobbled up going to New York City 1-4 times a year to see Broadway shows.  But Tampa Bay and its surrounding environs, do have their own quality theater.  

Last week, I had a wonderful sampling of all Florida theater has to offer by seeing four shows-- Lorraine Hansberry's classic "A Raisin in the Sun" at South Tampa's Stageworks Theatre.  Conor McPherson's unnerving "The Birds" at St. Petersburg's American Stage Theatre.  The timeless "Fiddler on the Roof" musical performed with great vigor in a small space at freeFall Theatre in St. Pete.  And the chilling "Dracula - The Journal of Jonathan Harker" one man show at Orlando Shakespeare Theatre.   

All productions were amazing and a good reminder why it is so important to support local theatre.  I am a season ticket holder of American Stage Theatre, Jobsite Theatre and Orlando Shakespeare Theatre.  

All in all, it was a mighty week of theater - time and money well spent.  I do not mind driving from Tampa to Orlando for good theater, however there always seems to be some calamity on the drive back that delays me at least an extra hour.

Many months ago, I had traveled to Orlando to see a concert at the Hard Rock at Universal.  On the drive back, I was stuck in an almost no-movement traffic jam for almost an hour and a half.  

By the time, I creeped by the accident site that was holding up traffic I realized why so many rubber-neckers had done a slow crawl by.  Three lanes of the highway had items covered in white sheets.  I knew that a white sheet meant dead body - but the items under the sheets were too small to be bodies.  

I then felt an icy grasp on my heart as I realized it wasn't dead bodies under the white sheets - but body parts.  Evidently for whatever reason, a man had decided to run across I-4 Westbound and didn't make it.  He was hit by various cars and torn apart.  

All that was left of him was covered with white sheets across various lanes of Interstate.  The implied gore robbed me of any speech.  I just sat slack-jawed staring at it as all traffic as directed to drive on the shoulder.

So last night, I was driving back from Orlando when traffic on I-4 Westbound came to a dead stop.  I was only about 25 minutes from home, but it took 50 minutes to get through the traffic jam before I could proceed with the last 25 minutes of my journey.  I turned on the traffic channel on Sirius Radio and was told I-4 East and West were clear.  As I stared at miles ahead of me of brake lights and then also miles of standstill headlights on 1-4 East, I knew that Sirius was full of it.  There was something big that was holding up traffic in both directions.  And I could only hope there were not white sheets involved.

After fifty long boring minutes of staring at the brake lights of the car in front of me, I started approaching the accident scene.  On I-4 Eastbound, there seemed to be at least six cars being towed away.  On I-4 Westbound, which I was on, there seemed to be at least three cars in need of assistance.  

I wasn't sure how there could be so many accidents in one spot on both sides of the Interstate.  Perhaps the drivers on I-4 Westbound were too busy watching the accidents on I-4 Eastbound?  Who knows?  

As I drew closer, I saw the lanes of the interstate littered with debris.  In the dim light, I tried to ascertain what these items were - broken car parts?  Glass?  There was so much of it ahead, I didn't know how I'd spare my tires from it all.  

Then I made out a whole object.  I looked, squinted my eyes and looked again.  Surely my eyes were deceiving me.  

It couldn't be …

I looked and looked again.

It was a hot dog bun.

I looked further up and realized that the debris was all shredded, mangled parts of … hot dog buns.  

What???

Up ahead I saw an overturned barbecue smoker cart in a ditch.  Evidently one of the vehicles involved in the accident was a food truck and their hot dog buns had gone flying into four lanes of interstate.

Driving through a sea of obliterated hot dog buns was the most surreal experience I have had in quite some time.  It was like being trapped in a snow globe, but instead of white little flakes - it was all hot dog bun remnants. 

I don't know if anyone was seriously injured - and I do feel very sorry for the food truck owner in particular.  But I still could not keep myself from laughing as I slowly drove through all the hot dog buns.  It was a much more humorous experience than when I had previously driven alongside white sheet-covered body parts.  

Perhaps one day I will write a play where the main character moves slowly through an ocean of hot dog buns.  I am fairly certain it will be a masterpiece.  Until then, I will enjoy going to see "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" and being pelted with toast.

As I cleared the "highway of hot dog buns," I said a word of gratitude that I had not been part of the accident and I hoped that all involved were safe and uninjured.  

The macabre comedy of the butchered hot dog buns reminded me that sometimes we just need to laugh and be grateful.

I dedicate this post to my friend NL who ran a hot dog cart for a year and luckily never had her cart overturned in an accident.  Always reasons to be grateful - you just need to look for them.    

I hope this Monday finds you with more laughter than tears.  Thanks for reading!