Chocolate-covered Toffee Memories

I love toffee - rich buttery crunchy goodness bathed in lush chocolate.  One of my absolute favorite toffees is from local Tampa company Toffee To Go (Read more about them here.)  

However I still have a soft spot in my heart for good old Heath Toffee bars.  The first toffee I had ever eaten was a Heath Toffee bar.  The old advertising campaigns for Heath declared it "Heath English Toffee" - as a poor kid born in Southern Minnesota, I had visions that England was paved in creamy toffee.  When I was 19 years old, I went to the United Kingdom for the first time.  I kept looking for the toffee-paved streets but never found any.  US advertising cons me again!

While in college, around Christmas time, I would watch Hotlantan Nicky G make batches of homemade toffee.  Growing up in a home where candy-making was not a regular activity, I would watch in awe as Nicky G would bring sugar to its dangerously hot boiling point.  

I've always been afraid of things like boiling sugar, pressure cookers, rogue champagne corks flying out of bottles and even the Jack in the Box nature of unrolling the label from a pop open can of Crescent Rolls.  I remember as a kid slowly opening a can of Crescent Rolls like I was a bomb tech from the movie "The Hurt Locker."  I am pretty sure I suffered some sort of pressure cooker related injury in a past life which has led to my intense fear of things blowing up in my face.

I would watch Hotlantan Nicky G pour the boiling sugar toffee mixture from a distance.  I believe I may have also worn those goggles that blow torch operators wear during these toffee making episodes.  You can never be too safe.  I would only reappear once the Department of Homeland Security had declared the site a non-threatening color code.  I would then lay chocolate bars across the molten toffee surface.  The chocolate would start to melt and would be smoothed across the top of the toffee.  My assistance with these tasks also then led me to triumphantly herald that Nicky G and I had made all the toffee.  

I believe the toffee recipe was Nicky G's grandmother or another family relation's original recipe.  But honestly I tended to tune out the stories on this as I was too busy eating the fresh toffee once it cooled and hardened.  All I knew for sure was that it was sinfully good.  

Growing up with a single mother and the ghost of a dead father, I don't have many "Rockwell Family Memories" from my childhood.  Watching Nicky G make toffee made me feel like I was part of holiday traditions that have spanned a century.  It was a connection across time that I don't normally have the luxury to feel.       

I will also admit that in addition to the warm familial goodness I felt at watching Nicky G make toffee, I was also close at hand for another reason.  I figured if Nicky G set himself on fire while making the toffee, I needed to be close by.  

No, not so that I could immediately rush to his rescue and douse him with baking soda or hopefully with a nearby fire extinguisher.  No, I needed to be there for the media.  

I needed to appear in front of the burning apartment for all the local and national news programs.  (I assume Nicky G would somehow manage to burn his home down in addition to all the flesh on his body.)  I would stand in front of the conflagration (this was on my SAT vocabulary study list!) in full make-up and big hair.  I would have one artfully placed lone tear running down my cheek and I would recount - in front of all the news outlets - Nicky G's last words.

I would clutch my lace, embroidered handkerchief (seriously I never knew it was spelled that way - I thought it was hankerchief - I have been wrong for 90 years!  Oops I mean 21 years!)  I would clutch said handkerchief to my ample bosom and shudder as I would whisper - in a voice loud enough to be heard by the boom mike - "I can't believe Nicky G is dead" (regardless if he was truly alive or dead - I feel death makes a greater impact on the news.)  

"I was there for his last words - he held my hand - while on fire - looked me deep into my eyes - while on fire - and said to me - `Lily, I may be dying but you are the true saint - please continue to spread the message of toffee and love.  Even though I will soon be dead, I wish I could be as wonderful and magnificent as you - if even for a second.  I am but a man, but you are a symphony of goodness and light - and even though you are scared of pop up cans of Crescent Rolls, you are braver than any man, woman, child or pet on this great planet.  Please continue to live on and inspire others.  You are AMAZING.'"

The reporters may stop and ask incredulously "He said all that while on fire?"  I would stop sobbing, stare at them coldly and say "Yes, he said all that WHILE ON FIRE - because the message was THAT important."  The reporters would look down in shame and broadcast my interview ten times more than they originally planned out of guilt for asking such an appalling question!

My picture would be plastered across the globe - "Heroic friend recounts fiery candymaker's last words of love, peace and adoration of said friend."  Sure, Nicky G would be dead in a tragic toffee-making incident, but I'd be a STAR!

In the years that passed, Nicky G stopped making his annual batch of holiday toffee.  I suspect he somehow got wind of my plans to make his fiery death my ticket to fame and fortune and decided spitefully to derail my stardom.  HOW SELFISH OF HIM!  But through it all, I still love toffee.

Yesterday, I was at my local Wal-Mart grocery store.  (Don't judge - while I love my Trader Joe's and Whole Foods, this girl also knows how to economize!  When it comes to toilet paper and cat litter, you can find me at Wal-Mart or Costco.)  I was strolling down the aisle when I spotted these ...

Candy-bar inspired non-dairy creamers from International Delight.  I love candy, but my waistline does not.  If these non-dairy creamers could give me a taste of a candy bar for 30 calories that would be an amazing thing.  

Then next to the candy-bar inspired non-dairy creamers, I also saw an International Delight Pumpkin Pie Spice Creamer.  Just the thing for a Thanksgiving caffeinated treat!

By the way at Fresh Market grocery store the other day, I saw a butter log in a shape of a turkey.  Nothing says "Happy Thanksgiving" like a butter turkey!

I bought the four flavored creamers and decided to do my own taste test at home.  This morning I thought I had a conference call with my Corporation's Vice-President at 8 a.m.  But I discovered at 6:50 a.m. that my call was actually scheduled for 7 a.m.  Nothing wakes me up more than adrenaline.  

After my conference call, I headed over to my Keurig coffee maker.  (Have you read about my Keurig addiction?  Check it out here.)

Since my time mix-up adrenaline was flowing, I decided my morning coffee should be half-caffeinated.  I put a Half-Caff K-cup in my Keurig.  

In honor of my chocolate-covered toffee memories, I whipped out the pack of International Delight Heath-flavored non-dairy creamer.

A good cup of coffee deserves a good coffee cup.  This is my Disneyland Hong Kong mug.  Yes, I actually took time out of my Hong Kong trip to see Disneyland - even though I live 45 minutes away from DisneyWorld.  And I don't regret it!

I was surprised that the International Delight Heath-flavored non-dairy creamer was white.  I guess I was expecting a chocolate color.

After my coffee cooled to a drinkable point, I took a tentative first sip.  Did it taste like a warm melty chocolate-covered toffee bar in my coffee?  Um no.  If I have a toffee craving, this definitely will not cover it.  (I'll be headed to Toffee to Go to get that fix filled.)

The coffee tasted creamy and slightly sweet.  There were some buttery toffee notes in the background but not really any chocolatey notes.  If I was doing a blind taste-test I would never guess that the creamy flavor was supposed to be toffee flavor.

I suspect if I had put two or three of the creamer cups in my coffee that it would taste much better - but each creamer cup is 30 calories and if I wanted to drink my calories I'd be having a chocolate peanut butter milk shake from Daily Eats restaurant in Tampa.

The International Delights Heath-flavored non-dairy creamer will not be my new toffee-flavor fix, but it was nice to try and also a nice reminder of my chocolate-covered toffee memories.

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