Happy Friday, LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!
So I was having dinner with Kiki Von Vellum, the personal assistant of a one Mr. Cardamom Monroe. The aforementioned Mr. Cardamom Monroe may have been feeling a tinge guilty (or grateful) that I have now traveled three times from Tampa to northern Orlando to help him house hunt. (I say "Northern Orlando" to emphasize just how far I drove for Mr. CM.) I believe Mr. CM was feeling guilty/grateful because he dispatched Kiki Von Vellum to hop on his motorized scooter and high-tail it to Tampa after a long day of work to take me out to dinner.
I enjoy spending time with Kiki Von Vellum, as there are so many great Tampa hot spots that he has not had a chance to see/enjoy.
However Kiki Von Vellum and I also have a long-standing blood feud. Because Kiki is all man, he has that annoying male trait of trying to tell independent, free-thinking fabulous divas like myself what they should or should not do! "Kiki, get yourself back on your scooter and putt putt yourself back to NO - Northern Orlando!"
For what seems like 17 years, Kiki Von Vellum has been criticizing the monkey picture on LilyOnTheLam. These are two adorable monkeys in front of the Red Fort in Agra, India. Kiki Von Vellum refers to them as fornicating monkeys. I think Kiki Von Vellum needs a hobby! My thoughts are: "I write this blog for me and my own personal enjoyment, so if my blog or its pictures offends you - DON'T READ IT!" Why should I change something in my personal extra-curricular activity to satisfy someone else? This is not all about you, Kiki Von Vellum!"
So after the 900th time, Kiki Von Vellum told me I need to switch the header picture on LilyOnTheLam; I looked him in the eye and said "You do know that every time you complain about the picture, I resolve to keep the monkey picture up an extra year!"
Evidently that did not phase Kiki Von Vellum, because he's "advised" me about 20 times since then that the "Fornicating Monkey picture needs to go!"
So this past week over the roast pork stack, tater tots and grilled shrimp lettuce wraps at Anise Global Gastrobar, Kiki Von Vellum once again climbed his soap box and began his on-going boring crusade to get me to change the header picture on LilyOnTheLam - which by the way pretty much guarantees that I will keep the picture up until 2099 - BECAUSE I AM STUBBORN!
While my love for Kiki Von Vellum is endless, my patience for his annoying anti-monkey picture crusade is not! Had he never brought it up, I would have changed pictures by now - as I get bored with the same old picture -- as anyone who has seen how many times I change avatars on Google + or Twitter can attest to. But noooooo, Kiki Von Vellum had to turn this into his own personal crusade as if he was being morally wounded by the Indian monkeys; thus guaranteeing their permanent spot on my blog.
So if my picture of two monkeys offends you, you only have Kiki Von Vellum to blame from now until 2099.
The problem with using my blog to complain about people in my life is that many of these same people also read my blog! Ack! Kiki Von Vellum is going to have a hissy fit! But even worse, now that I have thrown myself head first in the dating pool - men who are interested in my writing (and I am interested in them) ask to read my blog. But my blog is filled with stories about dating other men! Awkward!
For example, there is a tall, insightful, intuitive, very caring man who I have code-named "The Commissioner." He wanted to read my blog and I want to flirt up a storm with him. It's hard to flirt and be the innocent coquette when the blog has all the tales of my dating disasters and reactions to men in general! I may need to create a second blog that has been edited! "Lily On The Lam - Sanitized Version." Sure I could stop writing about my dating disasters, but I think they are HYSTERICAL! And so do most of my readers, so I don't want to stop. Just like I don't want to take down my monkey photo because one person complains.
Stubborness, thy name is Lily!
Happy Friday!
So I was having dinner with Kiki Von Vellum, the personal assistant of a one Mr. Cardamom Monroe. The aforementioned Mr. Cardamom Monroe may have been feeling a tinge guilty (or grateful) that I have now traveled three times from Tampa to northern Orlando to help him house hunt. (I say "Northern Orlando" to emphasize just how far I drove for Mr. CM.) I believe Mr. CM was feeling guilty/grateful because he dispatched Kiki Von Vellum to hop on his motorized scooter and high-tail it to Tampa after a long day of work to take me out to dinner.
I enjoy spending time with Kiki Von Vellum, as there are so many great Tampa hot spots that he has not had a chance to see/enjoy.
However Kiki Von Vellum and I also have a long-standing blood feud. Because Kiki is all man, he has that annoying male trait of trying to tell independent, free-thinking fabulous divas like myself what they should or should not do! "Kiki, get yourself back on your scooter and putt putt yourself back to NO - Northern Orlando!"
For what seems like 17 years, Kiki Von Vellum has been criticizing the monkey picture on LilyOnTheLam. These are two adorable monkeys in front of the Red Fort in Agra, India. Kiki Von Vellum refers to them as fornicating monkeys. I think Kiki Von Vellum needs a hobby! My thoughts are: "I write this blog for me and my own personal enjoyment, so if my blog or its pictures offends you - DON'T READ IT!" Why should I change something in my personal extra-curricular activity to satisfy someone else? This is not all about you, Kiki Von Vellum!"
So after the 900th time, Kiki Von Vellum told me I need to switch the header picture on LilyOnTheLam; I looked him in the eye and said "You do know that every time you complain about the picture, I resolve to keep the monkey picture up an extra year!"
Evidently that did not phase Kiki Von Vellum, because he's "advised" me about 20 times since then that the "Fornicating Monkey picture needs to go!"
So this past week over the roast pork stack, tater tots and grilled shrimp lettuce wraps at Anise Global Gastrobar, Kiki Von Vellum once again climbed his soap box and began his on-going boring crusade to get me to change the header picture on LilyOnTheLam - which by the way pretty much guarantees that I will keep the picture up until 2099 - BECAUSE I AM STUBBORN!
While my love for Kiki Von Vellum is endless, my patience for his annoying anti-monkey picture crusade is not! Had he never brought it up, I would have changed pictures by now - as I get bored with the same old picture -- as anyone who has seen how many times I change avatars on Google + or Twitter can attest to. But noooooo, Kiki Von Vellum had to turn this into his own personal crusade as if he was being morally wounded by the Indian monkeys; thus guaranteeing their permanent spot on my blog.
So if my picture of two monkeys offends you, you only have Kiki Von Vellum to blame from now until 2099.
The problem with using my blog to complain about people in my life is that many of these same people also read my blog! Ack! Kiki Von Vellum is going to have a hissy fit! But even worse, now that I have thrown myself head first in the dating pool - men who are interested in my writing (and I am interested in them) ask to read my blog. But my blog is filled with stories about dating other men! Awkward!
For example, there is a tall, insightful, intuitive, very caring man who I have code-named "The Commissioner." He wanted to read my blog and I want to flirt up a storm with him. It's hard to flirt and be the innocent coquette when the blog has all the tales of my dating disasters and reactions to men in general! I may need to create a second blog that has been edited! "Lily On The Lam - Sanitized Version." Sure I could stop writing about my dating disasters, but I think they are HYSTERICAL! And so do most of my readers, so I don't want to stop. Just like I don't want to take down my monkey photo because one person complains.
Stubborness, thy name is Lily!
Happy Friday!
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