Another "Intoxicated in the Asian Dollar Store" Story!

HELLO LILYONTHELAM.COM READERS:

I am back!  I have been on a mini hiatus - which loosely translated means "making other activities a higher priority than blog writing."  Also my hard drive with many months of pictures for "future blog posts" crashed -- so there goes that! I am justifying my next round of whirlwind world traveling as "pertinently necessary" to restock photos for future blog posts.  I do it all for you, dear readers!

If you are a long time reader of LilyOnTheLam, you may remember my self-proclaimed award winning post:  "Why It's Not A Good Idea To Get Drunk And Then Go To The Asian Dollar Store."  And if you don't, click on the link and read it - it is fabulous, people!

Recently I found myself in a state of deja vu ... except this time instead of being drunk in a mall of Vancouver, I was hopped up on pain killers in Berkeley, California.  Evidently the Pacific Northwest drives me to use intoxicants!

I have been having some issues with my back (I'm 974 years old!), so on a gloriously sunny day in Berkeley, CA I took my legally prescribed painkillers and then decided it'd be a great idea to walk around the UC-Berkeley campus.  Sigh ... sometimes I think I need to hire a nanny (or a manny - a male nanny... or a sober living coach) to keep me in line!  

I first stumbled upon Smart Alec's Intelligent Food (website here) on the fantastic Telegraph Avenue.  Like Evos in Tampa, Smart Alec's has "air fries" - baked French fries.  I like to order air fries because I can pretend I am being healthy.  I ordered the veggie chili covered air fries.  (Because why be naughty with just fries when you can be even naughtier with CHILI FRIES!)  One thing I miss about living in California is the spicy food.  Smart Alec's chili was SPICY!  And I loved every hot minute of it.  

I will admit that I was feeling rather spacey on my pain killers as I polished off my "healthy" chili fries.  I realized I was staring off into space and probably looked a little off my rocker.  However Telegraph Avenue has many people who look off their rocker, so I think I fit right in.

Then in true mature fashion, I decided I needed to shop ... while on pain killers.  The Asian Dollar Store gods smiled down upon me as right before me was Daiso Japan - an inexpensive Asian store.  I grabbed a basket and before I knew it I had it completely loaded with things I absolutely had to have.  Did I mention I was loaded up on painkillers while shopping?

I not only purchased items for myself, but for select friends ... Select friends who would appreciate such items as a hedgehog duster ...

or a panda loofah ...

And really - at $1.50 each, don't we all deserve a panda loofah?  Treat Yo' Self!

I also bought my mother a pair of really long socks that had individually separated toes - like gloves but for the feet.  It seemed like a really good idea at the time.  Again, did I mention I was loaded on painkillers?

I will tell you that every person to whom I gave these Asian Dollar Store gifts, gave me the same exact look of "WHAT THE F**K?"  Listen, just be happy you're getting a gift from me and don't judge!  

I am not sure why the Asian dollar store gods tend to place Asian dollar stores in my pathway when I am somehow inebriated, intoxicated and/or incapacitated.  It's like a bizarre Greek myth.

Rest assured dear readers that while I have not been blogging a lot lately, I still have been doing a glorious job of scaring people all around the world with my antics.  Stay tuned for more!  And as always - thanks for reading!